Who is to blame?
When things don't work out the way we planned, we are more than willing
to shake our fingers at someone...ANYONE....and say, "IT WAS
YOU!!!!!!" Have you ever thought that you should turn that finger
around back on your self? We are the only ones in this world that have
any control over our lives and our actions. Sure, things do happen that
effect our lives that are outside of our control, but does that mean we
need to give it extra special attention? Do we need to find something
or someone to blame?
Blame, like guilt, is just a waste of
time and energy. Do you honestly get any closer to peace by putting it
all on another person--or even yourself, God or the universe? The truth
is, each time we point our fingers at another, the universe will greet
us with someone pointing his finger back at us. Do you feel any better
putting the blame on yourself? What good does it do?
I'm
guilty of this: Feeling either myself or another person had everything
to do with a particular outcome and dwelling on the woulda, shoulda,
coulda... I didn't want to see my role, only that someone was to blame.
That vicious cycle always ended up the same: After about a week of
engaging in that, I was tired, felt isolated and hated myself. The only
things I was attracting into my life was negativity, sadness, fatigue,
depression, anxiety and restlessness. Feeling that crappy will always
attract more crap.
So what should we do with the part of us
that wants to blame? For starters, it exists so don't ignore it but
definitely tame it. Tell it, "Hey, I get your feeling this way, but
guess what? I'm running this show and I am not going to blame anyone!"
Often that side of us just needs acknowledgment. After acknowledging
the blame-beast, be accountable for whatever part you have played in
the outcome. Be honest about it. If you said something to instigate a
fight, you did. If you never called that person, you didn't. If you
were always late to work, you were. Don't spend too much time thinking
about it and don't beat yourself up over it. It's in the past. Realize
that nobody was standing above you pulling on those puppet strings.
It's about learning from those situations. Which leads me to the next
point--leave the other person or people and God out of the equation.
Even if another person created a situation that is on them NOT you.
Don't feel guilty, don't place blame. That person needs to deal with
his/her own accountability, not you. You need to deal with your
own--the good, the bad and even the ugly.
The best remedy I
know for finger pointing is to find compassion for the other person,
even if that person is yourself. Life can be rough and bumpy at times,
but we are all in this together. Life happens to all of us. Make peace
with yourself, your situation and you'll begin to attract the "like"
into your life. Love, happiness, harmony and abundance.