I've found that the realm of dating can be a peculiar and scarey ritual for some people. The constant search for the right companion. That can be so depressing, downright intimidating even. But there is an even stranger phenomena out there that I call, "putting all your eggs in one basket" It's quite simple really..... the choice of dating only one person that you're not committed or exclusive with, but hoping for that exclusive committment.
Let's say you've met a nice person, interesting on many levels. Smart, funny, easy on the eyes, somebody you'd really like to get to know better. Then smart, funny, easy (also known as SFE), calls you up and you make plans to go out. SFE arrives for your date on time, smells and looks absolutely "smokin" right down to his/her minty sweet breath. You know this will probably be one of the best dates ever and as it turns out.... it is. At the end of the evening you both discuss what a great time you've had and make plans to do it again very soon. All is good with the world.
You go out a few more times and everything is still going well, but there is no talk yet of an exclusive committment. When brought up, SFE changes the subject to a much lighter discussion. Regardless, you decide to take yourself off the market anyway to see where things might go with this person. Forgetting the key phrase "to see where things might go" with the emphasis on the word "might".
There is nothing like having a great connection with the right person, but how do you really know if somebody is the right person after only a few dates? OK so SFE has a million and one great qualities, that's absolutely fantastic. But SFE still will not commit to anything permanent with you or anybody for that matter. He/she just isn't ready to take that big step and commit. You however, have placed all your eggs in one basket and have kept them there.
Visualize if you will, a year or two down the road and SFE is still telling you......"you're a great person, but I'm just not ready for a solid committment." At the very least, it is heartbreaking to devote so much time, to ONLY this individual who remains ever the "committment phobe". I want you to think about all those expected phone calls that never came. Those weekends home alone while SFE was out doing whatever. The lonely holidays etc.
Alright.... you love him/her. Understandable with all those amazing qualities, but it seems you've fallen in love with the emotionally bankrupt and still you continue to place even more eggs in your little basket of love. SFE is not worried, he/she knows exactly how you feel and furthermore, knows you aren't going anywhere. You and your basket of eggs are waiting right there by that silent phone, hurting and most likely disappointed and angry. You've finally come to the conclusion that you have wasted so much time. And you know what??? You have, because you've kept all your eggs in one little basket.
Dating really doesn't have to be scary or intimdating. Chances are you'll meet many interesting people besides SFE the committment phobe if you just broaden your horizons a little. There is an old saying "Nobody wants to eat at an empty resturuant". Now if you're still sitting there and waiting for SFE to commit with you, then you are that empty resturaunt.
Now the cure for this crazy phenomenon is just as simple as the phenomenon itself. Keep those dating options open, break those eggs, fry them up, scramble them, but don't keep them all in the same basket, diversify. After all they turn rotten if not cooked. Get out and meet other people. You are, like SFE, still a free agent and therefore can date others. Chances are you can meet many other great people and maybe even find the one great individual who will commit and whose to say it's not SFE. But you'll never know what good things can happen if you keep all your eggs in one basket.