I have three very beautiful clients that I have been speaking to for over a year. I doubt that any of them will be calling me again. Why? Well, I told them that their actions also change the outcome and that their actions have been less than suitable for keeping the interest of the guys in question. So, I finally pulled the "free will" card on them, but we were talking about their free will, not the guys'.

I have seen each and everyone one of them go through several men and none have turned into real relationships. All three have said, "We had so much in common," or "We had such a good connection," or "We got on so well," and finally they all said, "I just don't know why they stopped calling and showing up for dates."

These are things that they did:

  • Showed a sign of desperation. Which include, but are not limited to: Waiting by the phone, not continuing to date but settling on this one person, was always available no matter the time or day, had sex with them when ever the guy wanted,  and didn't stand up for themselves when the guy canceled a date.
  • Read like an opened book and treated the guy like a girl friend. Failed to understand the dynamics between men and women in the "romantic world" are different than in the educational or work world.
  • Refused to change a wee bit of their actions. All said to me, "Well, if I can't be myself, then I don't want a relationship with them." I  do not I tell women (or men) to change themselves. I only tell them, to leave some mystery about themselves. Have said it a hundred times and I will say it again, "A book that has been read from cover to cover will be shelved and rarely be picked up again."
  • Complete and total stubbornness. Not willing to see things differently.
  • Getting the last word in. I will never understand that, ever. Wanting to explain everything thing to the other.  Why? If they aren't interested in continuing dating, do you really think that they care what your issues are?
  • Insisting on closure. If they aren't call you for dates, that's closure. It's over. Is that clear enough?
  • Finally, all of them said, "I guess some men can't handle strong women." Now this can be true given the guy, but in these cases, the truth was, "Some men can see that you have a good career, but it's pretty clear that's all you have."

I will use these examples, I went on a date years ago and this guy was so excited to go out (I don't know if it was in general or with me) that he never stopped talking. By the end of the date, I had too much information. He knew nothing about me after the date. Another guy and I had so much in common that I started seeing him like a girl friend rather than potential date or romantic interest. I couldn't help my reactions to either situation.

Some people don't need psychic readings. They will always attract the opposite sex because they are nice looking and they smile. It is when things don't work out on a consistent level that he/her free will changes the situation. 

How I wished that they would have changed the situation:

  • I'm not asking you to change yourself, I'm asking to change your behavior. Be a little more of a mystery.
  • Don't make assumptions about what's in his or her head about you.
  • If it's not working for you, do something else. Who said this? "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results."
  • Don't be giving men gifts. You want them to be in contact with you because they like you, but because they feel obligated to do something nice for you. I'm sure that you're not expecting them to reciprocate a gift, but they might feel that way. Giving gifts might make you feel good, but it just might (actually it probably will) make them feel uncomfortable.
  • Don't stop dating because you feel that you have a "connection" with someone else.
  • Don't fed into the "poor you" syndrome. If the guy has issues, don't be his handmaiden or confessor, or mother. Determine what you role is. If you start being something like that, you will stay like that.
  • Do some research on the way the opposite sex thinks.
  • Read books that talk about relationship issues.

Here are a couple :

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? (Paperback)
by Connell Cowan (Author), Melvyn Kinder (Author)

Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry "The One" in 3 Years or Less (Paperback)
by Lisa Daily (Author)

Man Magnet: How to Be the Best Woman You Can Be in Order to Get the Best Man (Paperback)
by Romy Miller (Author)

  • Finally and most importantly OPEN YOUR MIND, HAVE FUN WITH DATING and CREATE A THREE STEP PLAN TO SUCCESS!