In my past blogs I have tried to define love. It's not a very easy thing to define. There are many different type of love and the English language only uses one word with a adjective, i.e., brotherly love, romantic love, etc, etc.

Below is my definitions and the comparisons and contrasts to love verse obsession. It goes for all types of love, yes even romantic love.

Love is not jealous.

I am not jealous if my son has a good time with his father. I'm well pleased that he had fun and bonded. I am not jealous if the man I love loves others. It is a divine thing to love others.

Obsession is jealous.

If I am obsessed with someone, I always fear that the subject of my affections is having a better time with someone else.

Love is not controlling.

There choices that my brother makes that I wouldn't necessarily make for myself. He chooses his experience. It's none of my business. I love my brother and he makes his own decisions. This one is hard one to explain, because I cannot think of an adult-with their wits about them, that I love that I make a judgment call on his/her choices. Okay....maybe my brother's heated driveway....right now, that might be jealously that he has a heated drive way, but in the summer it seemed unnecessary. Using my four year old, if he didn't like sports but wanted to do music, I wouldn't try to control his joy in activities. Fortunately, this is not the case.

Obsession is controlling.

If I was obsessed with member of my family or my loved one, I would make a judgement call on what they are doing. I would worry about them doing things wrong. I would worry that they won't do what they were "suppose to".

Love is not prideful.

Now this has always been an enigma to me. I am so proud of my son, the man I love, my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law and my nieces. What this means to me is that it is not my pride.

Obsession is prideful and boastful.

I think that this means that I run about telling my friends that my "people" are better than everyone elses "people".

Love is not self-seeking.

I seek things for the ones I love. My brother is a CEO of a very good company still ahead on the NASDQ. I expect nothing from this. I am so happy that he's got such a wonderful job to support himself and his family. I do not enroll my son into hockey lessons for my own good. I say positive things to my friends and family for them, not me. I don't do things for others and expect things back. I do not love a man because I want things from him. I want things for him.

Obsession is self-seeking.

It's when you  do things for others and expect something in return. "I want him in my life." So you go about the business of being co-dependant and going out of your way to do something nice not because you just want to do something nice, but to drawl them in. Well maybe he doesn't want you in his life.

Love make you want to be a better person.

Years ago, I found this to be true when I experienced true romantic love. I wanted to be a better person for a boyfriend and he wanted to be a better person for me. This is very true about wanting to be a winner for my son, I want to have a normal mentally healthy life and be mentally healthy for my son. I want to be fit so my son and I can play sports, etc, etc.

Obsessions makes you less than you can be.

If you are obsessed, you do things that are very embarrassing and very unhealthy-mentally and otherwise. Stalking, trying to control, snooping, gossiping, etc.