Focusing on the wrong things will create the wrong outcome. I sincerely believe this. When I advise clients, I look at where the situation is headed given the circumstances. It's not too difficult to change the outcome if my client does not focus on the correct things.

1.   Trust and faith

There are many times in my life that I cannot and do not wish to control people or situations. Sometimes situations are just too difficult even to handle. It can very easily make me nuts. What I do and what I suggest that my clients do is to say, "God, I can't handle this__________. I give it to you with total and complete trust."

2.   Focus on what you like or what gives you happiness.

For example, let's say I have a nasty boss, but I otherwise love my job. I have to admit that I cannot control it nor can I change him. Focus on what I love about my job. Or let's say your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend has an association with someone you cannot bare, but they won't give up that association. Focus on what you love about your loved one. Why do you love them?  Employ Trust and Faith and accept that there is nothing that you can do about his or her free will. Don't keep wondering about it. I never have heard of a situation where worry will make the situation better.

3.   To thy oneself be true

Instead of worrying about a loved one's associations or about a boss's nasty behavior, focus on what you can do to be better. Constantly focusing on an other's fault and trying to control others is very counter productive. Focus on you and what you can do to be a better person in the situation and in life in general. The more that you do this, the more that you make the situation better for yourself. There's a strong possibility that the association or the boss will be a non-issue soon. Don't give that other individual that you cannot bare any power.

4.   Mental health

Neurotic behavior never makes things better. No form of obsession is good. Frequently I get calls about the "other woman". Okay, let's face it. She's probably not going to go away by my client focusing on it. Trying to restrict the boyfriend's friends is not going to help the situation. The only thing that my client can do about this is to be a woman like no other. Never give you power, ego or thoughts to someone else. If you do your job as a female love interest, other women will be irrelevant. The exception is if you have a serious womanizer on your hands. If that's the case, good riddance. The "other woman" is doing you a huge favor by giving you clarity and removing the womanizer from your presence.

5.   Free will

We have been given free will. Because we have been given free will, we have been given the ability to create our own reality and to chose our experience. It is one of the greatest evils to try to take away an other's free will. All spiritual traditions boil down to this. If you take a life, if you covet your neighbor's whatever, if you steal. Basically you are trying to change the other's experience and not allowing choice. Have someone try to do that to you and see how you like it.

6.   Learn to live in the mystery and expect blessings

Face it, there's absolutely no promises in life. You will never, ever have a 100% proof guarantee on anything. If I order a new gas range, there's no promises that the stove I have installed will work. It might actually have to be replaced. If you go about the business of expecting guarantees you will make yourself ill.  You can make promises to yourself and to your God. Accepting that makes life so much easier. Instead of stressing what you don't like, try waking up in the morning and expecting a miracle. Everyday something new and wonderful can unfold. You just have to change your mind. Instead of forcing your will, wonder what wonderful things may unfold. There are signs of the divine everywhere.  Polly Anna had the right idea.