Tea And The Mosquito
She looks within and in the fading sunset she arises and reflects upon her life. She makes a warm cup of Chammomile tea with a touch of honey and looks across the valley, she takes a deep earthly breath and can smell the sweet grass and sage growing wild. It's richness of the early night dew forming on the land, she sits and gazes out in thought. Her heart holds onto all of her memories as easily as she holds onto this moment, this breath she inhales so slowly, savouring. And so she recalls her life. Her accomplishments, her lovers, her friends, her children.
The wars she fought both outside and inside, the hardships of money, her siblings dying one by one, the men she married and left and the children she never fully raised. The injustice done to her and to those she loved. All those she tried to rescue but in the end, couldn't. A busy mosquito spins around her tea and she gently brushes it away. "Ah the tiny blood sucker, i've seen you so many times...though you have many faces and names, I haven't forgotten you." She thinks to herself.
The sun is golden with deep red hues casting off strange images of both death and life admist the sky. Of pre-dawn to dusk in this moment as she sits on her porch with her tea... She looks out among the land. The huge willow tree in full bloom that is to her front just before you get to the fence that seperates her land from the road. It only goes two ways, East and West. Funny she thinks... "My house, my house is at a cross road... a T... I could go left, I could go right..." Another deep breath as she closes her eyes and decides she'll stay right where she is. Right in the present, yet reflecting inward. A call to the heart that is long overdue.
"What Grace i've known!" she says with a whisper. "All the things that could have gone wrong in my life has, but what Grace!"she repeats now,inwardly... how she learned about so many things. How to forgive, accept, independance and most important of all, how to love. She remembers back when in her darkest time when she had no love for life, no love for herself. So ensued with anger and resentment. The pain so devestating, if she had held onto it...in this moment she never could have inhaled so openly the life around her. The busy mosquito returns and again she gently brushes it away.
"All those things I use to get so worked up over, stressed out about! My, my... all those moments I spent on the little things when I could have enjoyed so much more in my life." She sits and ponders but not out of regret but from a deeper sense of wisdom and her life is re-born through her memories. Coming back to life from an age gone by when youthfulness was as fragile as the heart.
She re-calls little Johnny going off to war after the World Trade Center attack. His huge smile that showed all the imperfections of his teeth as it did his spirit. His courage and patriotism. Only to find out years later the whole truth about that and again the resentment and shock she had for her own democracy. Her beloved country, yes her land. Again the busy mosquito returns and again she gently swipes it away.
"All those times when I felt jilted and lied to and betrayed! I learned about forgiveness. I never could have moved forward without that, never could have understood a higher meaning. So costly but how priceless it was!" She takes a sip of her tea, another deep breath ... She feels so calm and peaceful. So connected to her land, herself and her life in this moment. The moment the sun is now falling behind the hill in front of her house. Casting a waning luminous light upon her face yet as she gazes out, the land has grown silent. The busy mosquito once again returns and again she gently swipes it away.
"Ah my mothers voice, her warmth, her love."..she cradles her cup of tea in her arms as her eyes are closed in another memory as she once cradled her own children. " You were so beautiful, so helpful to me. I'm so sorry the cancer got you mom. But I never would have known love if it hadn't been for you. For you loved me more than anyone ever could. You understood me and loved me just for me." She can feel the dying sun on her face as the moon tries to push it's way onto her land and into her moment. "Oh your back again busy mosquito? Go, shoo... find another to pester."
A symphony begins, seemingly for this moment of crickets, toads and other buzzing unseen things. She hears the melody begin it's rhythm slowly at first, and without a director progress to such beauty. Ah yes she remembers how her song was stolen and later published by a well known author and the pain that caused her. The song she wrote from the heart in no less time than it takes to cook a 15 minute meal. She truly believed she got the song from above for it flowed so naturally, so beautifully but with such richness yet so haunting.
"But you know God, I learned confidence from that, that i'm worthy, my art is worthy. And now so many people are listening to my song. Oh I know I wrote it and it doesn't matter much to me if they know I did or not. Just knowing they are enjoying it is what is important." The busy mosquito spins and buzzes around her. She sets what is left of her Chammomile tea with honey down on the rail next to her porch swing which is nearly worn of paint. The busy guy settles on it's rim and she sits and watches.
"Your so tiny but what a nuisance you can be. You remind me of my ownself. So mis-understood, pushed away, wanting attention, wanting love, wanting acceptance. Most people would even call you down right annoying! Here, have some sweets... there, there you go... i'm surprised your not feeding off me." she whispers to the busy mosquito. He too whispers back; " I am, I am from your love."
He goes on to tell her how important he is, how loving he is and how his life is worthy and how all his family has been wiped out by a strange and mysterious disease. He is alone. Once a father, a husband and uncle and now roaming the world searching for surivors. His kindred kind.
So now the two sit together as the sun finally falls to sleep and the moon rises. She watches it and how it reminds her of all the times she became annoyed by the little nuisances in her life and what a ruckuss she made of things. But in this moment with her love, acceptance and wisdom... she embraced the busy mosquito. For what is life without it? When, in your fading sun what will you remember and cherish? What will you have become? The two sat together until the night embraced her land like a lover. Grabbing her cane she gently lifted up out of the swinging chair and went inside to jot down her thoughts on the internet.
"A soul has a thousand faces but only one purpose."..said the Mosquito. She smiled .... "Well Mosquito,yes your so right but never forget that youth is eternal for when one keeps love in their hearts, you never truly grow old..." She set her cup of tea aside just as she heard the tiny buzzing sound of his wings disappear out the hole in the screen.
And so she wrote...
Wind~