I have to say, out of all the signs in the zodiac this one is the most perplexing in a relationship. Virgo men are incredibly critical when it comes to themselves and that will spill over to their ,relationships. I have never met, nor read for a Virgo male that was happy in their current state. Living for the moment is NOT their strong suit and their minds are so hyper analytical they create more problems for themselves and their lovers than solutions.
A Virgo male is what I like to call "fire and ice". When they have an interest in a woman they believe in courting her. They may not have even spoken to her yet, but through his observations he has "summed up" just whom he thinks she is. He has created little scenerio's in his mind, and he's begun to write a script of the relationship that hasn't even started yet. He will woo her, be attentive, listen intently to all she says, taking notes and remembering fine details of all she says. He is a gentleman in every sense of the word. This man will make you feel as though you are not only the only woman in the room but the only woman on the planet as well. He's known for luxury, comfort and fine things. He will open car doors, pull out your chair, order for you, and even gingerly feed her ice cream. He will call the next day, send texts wishing you a "good morning", and he will be highly romantic. He sounds like dream come true. But remember, everyone has a shadow side and this man's shadow side is the complete opposite. Remember, I stated he has an analytical mind and he will over analyze and blow up even the tiniest of things.
Once the courtship is solidified and the relationship cemented and this man feels secure that you belong to him he begins to unravel it. He will dissect every aspect of the relationship, not so much to pick YOU apart, but because of his own critical nature of the self he tends to find fault with a great deal. He idealizes so many things, and you are NOT sticking to the script he wrote of your love affair that he tends to manipulate it so it follows said script. He will stop with compliments and now he will give "helpful suggestions" which sound a lot like demands and dissection of your entire character. He can be brutal with this and it can and will be wounding. Mostly it's wounding because before you could do no wrong, you were perfect, and now he's finding fault with everything.
The more you try to please this man, the more you will fail. He likes independent, yet domestic women. He loves sensuality, but not overtly sexual women. He loves a great sense of humor, but never at his expense. You must be intelligent, self sufficient and someone who is strong, yet he wants to be needed. He's a walking, talking contradicition. This is a man who wants it all, and he will refuse to settle for less. This is why most Virgo men tend to marry very late in life, or not at all.
Once you begin the tragic circle of jumping through hoops to mold, shift and change for him, he will lose a great deal of respect for you. He may become enraged when you stand ground, but I will tell you he will respect you for it. You never want to lose the respect of Virgo, for once you do, you lose their attention.
CONTROL should be a the middle name of a Virgo male. And many times in an effort to control aspects of their own lives they, in turn, attempt to control aspects of yours, though they don't see it this way. It's their life, you happen to be part of it, therefore you are subjected to their insatiable need for such control. That is how they view it. When you express your desires, needs, and wants, they will fuflill them only if it fits into what they want for their own lives. They appear to be very black and white thinkers, but I will tell you that under the surface you will never find another sun sign that worries, stresses or fears the worst than a virgo male. Their minds are constantly working on a problem, but their actions in fixing said problem in a relationship are limited, and if they can get YOU TO CHANGE instead of changing themselves they will always choose that option. They don't see what they are doing most of the time and how they have the ability to truly damage their lovers self esteem.
Virgo men are loyal, despite the bad reputation they may have earned. These men crave attention but the attention they crave is one that they are successful, helpful, respected, etc. It's not really of a shallow nature, though their vanity does tend to get in their way, and Virgo men embrace aging much like a fading movie star sitting in a botox chair...the fight it every step of the way. But in relationships, they may give you the illusion he has other options, and he may, but he is highly selective and may be venturing into more of an emotional or mental affair more so than a physical one. They don't bed a bevvy of women for instant gratification, there has to be more to it than sex for a virgo male.
They are also creatures of habit. I find them to be very predictable and ending relationships is not their strong suit. They tend to do so in a cut and dry manner, they shut down, withdraw and silence. They won't return your calls, nor your texts, but they won't tell you to "get lost" either. They tend to hold onto the past as they may regret their decision and want to revisit it. They are notorious for having explosive break ups, turning a tiny disagreement into a full blown brawl. They walk out, fall silent but make no mistake they are so sure of your love for them they will wait by that phone for the apology they feel they so richly deserve (even if they started the battle). As time goes by and you are not calling they become even more angry, bitter and resentful. But, and this is a big but, they are also known to reappear without warning, and attempting to discuss the issue long after you've moved on and forgotten about it. This causes many women bewilderment and they cannot figure out what the game plan is here. Is he trying to reconcile? Did he miss me? What's he doing? What he's doing is seeking validation that you are still waiting for him, and if you give him that, you will be placed back up on that shelf to collect dust only to be taken down and played with whenever he needs to feel secure again. It's a horrible catch 22.
What keeps a woman going back to a virgo man is when he's good he's amazing. But when he's bad he's the most heartbreaking of men. He can make you feel alive, desired and wanted beyond measure, then with icy silence cut you off and make you feel utterly disposable. I wish I could tell you he wasn't aware he's doing this, but he's well aware of it, and he's so caught up in his own emotions, wants, needs and desires that yours aren't even on his mind.
The best way to deal with a virgo male in a love relationship is to be honest, up front and stand for your beliefs. If he insults or wounds you try to remove emotion from it and speak matter of factly. Emotions don't hold a lot of weight and he'll see you as out of control. Be very direct and state your case. If he tries to engage in battle walk away! Don't engage. It won't be pretty because this man will pull out all the ammo in an effort to win this battle. He'll bring up your drunken mother, you're cheating ex, and how you need dental work. There is nothing off limits when this man wants to attack. Fight the urge to retort. If he starts to get nasty, walk away and tell him you'll discuss it when he's not being so immature. A virgo male hates to feel in inferior and when YOU are the more rational one he will stop his antics. If you insult him back not only will it get worse, but you will pay for it for weeks, perhaps months. They are like elephants, they never forget.
Secondly, don't give this man ultimatums. He doesn't respond to them, and if forced to move faster than he's comfortable with he will retreat and leave you behind wondering WTF?
Remember, he is an earth sign. He does not move fast with anything. This man is cautious, meticulous, a perfectionist, a bit OCD, high worrier, and critical. He takes great time and care doing every task from buying a home, marriage proposal to making a sandwich. It can be maddening especially if you're a fire sign and move quickly and follow your intuition. This man questions himself constantly so he won't move in haste. He is always looking for a better option, and he's frugal. He loves fine things, and may blow 10K on a gadget that is of quality rather than settle for something cheaper to do the trick. He's a hard worker, but he has spouts of it. He'll work non stop for 3 months without a break, then crash from exhaustion and hibernate cutting off everything and everyone to recharge. He doesn't give a warning, he just retreats, again leaving you wondering if you did something wrong. Only to reappear without excuse, apology or explanaion.
The best way to get along well with a Virgo male is to allow him the space he needs to do what he needs to do. Only lend advice when it's asked for (he doesn't take advice well). Stay true to your desires, for if you work your life around this man you will forever be doing so. Set boundaries with him. If he crosses a line with you, tell him blankly, and stick to it. He will challenge your boundaries. Be authentic. He won't appreciate a dishonest, phoney person. The best advice I can give is know who you are, know what you want, what you stand for and what you will NOT tolerate, because if you go into a relationship with a virgo male and you are seeking validation and/or expecting him to make you a secure person you will end up worse off than you were before.
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