Parents on Speed
Suddenly my children are older and I'm not raising little ones anymore. Yet, somehow my psyche still resonates with being a survival focused young mother.
I see pregnant women at work and listen to the young motherhood chatter, wanting to burst in with my own experiences, then pause and realize . . . I'm out of that club!
How did I get here? Feels like overnight!
Mommies are worrying over colic and sleepless nights and I give my two cents worth: Then they ask, "How old are yours?"
"18 and almost 12", I answer.
The eyes grow distant as if I wouldn't understand the stress of a baby, I'm out of the new motherhood loop I guess.
My advice for the most part with many worries would be to relax and enjoy those babies. It's over so quickly.
The perfectionist desire to keep them always in their crib, all night and every night, that somehow softens with a scecond child.
You realize that a night snuggling with a babe in your own bed won't spoil the hard work, and sometimes allows everyone more sleep.
My first birth experience, I was in the 'natural woman' mode and went to great lengths to have the midwife, jacuzzi, no pain med experience. I accomplished this, with a hemorrhage and lots of pain. My daughter was perfect and beautiful. I nursed her for two years.
She went through the colic and food sensitivities, the weaning and ear infection. She learned to walk, talk, make friends, read, write and solve math problems. She had her traumas and dramas. It was a grand adventure, it still is, she's a teen!
My second child, a nine pound healthy boy, he was also a midwife birth. I allowed myself to ask for pain meds, once. This was a blissful break amidst the drama. It worked out just fine, too. I nursed him over two years. He had his special needs and trauma's and dramas. We went through an entirely different adventure as parent and son together. It's still happening.
I'm still a parent. To older children. Is time speeding up? Wow!
I hear natural birth- focused, young pregnant moms . . . talking; 'swearing off' the pain meds, and I offer my penny: "Don't be afraid to ask for a pain meds during child birth; at least once".
Relax.
I hear young moms lamenting over doing all things 'by the book'.
I offer: " You are a mom, with good instincts about your child. Don't be afraid to simply hold and love and nurture your babe, beyond the right and wrong directions".
Relax.
I was raised by a wise and experienced grandmother. I think that grandparents make some of the very best parents. They have 'been there' and 'done that'. They are relaxed about the small stressfull stuff and they are very tolerant about things which to a new young parent, may seem like chaos that will never end.
Many older parents appreciate all those little moments which will disappear as a child develops toward adulthood.
They are prudent about what is important . . . precious matters of the heart.
Of course, there are always exceptions to this. There are relaxed and sentimental new young parents and impatient, non experienced grandparents.
I'm simply stating my humble opinion and observations, for the most part!
I think grandparents are gifts!
My coffee chat thoughts today are all about how we can celebrate not just mommies this Mother's Day season, but grand mommies, too!!!
Light Always!
Fawn