Substance Abuse & Recovery: Taking The First Step
This is a photo of my cousin. He titled it himself, last week - Taking The First Step. He, like thousands of others, is a drug addict and because of this has suffered the consequences of this lifestyle. He’s 28 years old and has been using since the age of 14 or 15 years old. He dropped out of high school and married a woman who is also a drug addict. Together they had a beautiful son who over the course of his early years became very disturbed and out of control due to the dysfunctional chaos of his family environment. My cousin lost his relationship with his mother, sister and the rest of his extended family. Eventually he and his wife lost custody of his child though luckily their son is in the custody of his mother and not in the public system. Many of us had felt him to be basically a lost cause and heading toward eventual death. His wife has hepatitis C and he apparently has contracted both C and B, and recently had an acute hepatitis B episode where his skin & eyes turned yellow with jaundice and he began puking blood. Everyone around him thought him to be dying as the days passed and he lost weight and will to live. When the family tuned in to him in prayer we discovered that he was finally willing to be approached and might accept assistance. By this time his wife had made a very poor impression on our family and my cousin’s mother (her mother in law) had a restraining order on her. It was nearly as bad as it gets! His extended family got to work donating what money they could afford to go into a bank account for their assistance as a couple of us formulated a plan of action. We were going to approach them with a letter and offer paid drug detox and assistance with applying to and transportation to rehabilitation centers. We began to do some research and discovered there are at least THREE FREE two year plus more time, rehab centers in the state of North Carolina. My cousin lived in Kentucky and was not so far away from that state. We printed off information about a rehab program called Trosa which offers GED, continued education and a structured living environment for two years with a transitional phase back into the community. I wrote the letter with this option and offer for help and the call came. This was back in March. From March 16th onward I received daily calls from my cousin or his wife describing all the various things they were going through to get ready for the big change. They each had fines to take care of, medical clearances and pregnancy tests. Trosa wouldn’t accept both of them together so they recommended Recovery Mountain Ventures a few hours away from Durham in Black Mountain. They both wrote biographies and answered questionnaires for the rehab programs. They both interviewed with Trosa and my cousin’s wife was turned down while my cousin was given four things he needed to accomplish in order to be accepted. She applied to Ventures and was accepted. All four things were accomplished and my two cousins, now in their late 20’s who had been using since their teens (she since the age of 12 years old) – opiates, downers, crack, shooting up and snorting up . . . entered separate 7 day detox programs. They both exited on the same day by divine miracle so I could drive from MI and pick them up five hours apart at their different centers. We didn’t go back to their hometown but kept right on driving south. At 2am we arrived to Black Mountain and his wife met her assigned partner at the rehab program and was introduced to her new home. She said goodbye to her husband and they both knew that they wouldn’t see or hear from each other in about 2 years. This is because the program doesn’t allow them to focus on a relationship at first, they must focus on themselves. Wedding rings came off and photos left in the car. She was searched and then she was welcomed to her new home, intense with a levels system, but with a high success rate because only the willing who applied could be admitted to this free two year program. I left with my cousin and the next day we took walks in the mountains and ate healthy foods. We talked about the fear of change and simply learned to live in the moment. The next day we called Trosa at the designated time to see if he’d made it in. They turned him down! We couldn’t allow this to get us discouraged, he was full of hope, fully detoxed, there was no way we could turn around now! So off to plan B which was Delancey Street Foundation (check this place out on the web) which has places all over the United States, and NC is the smallest facility. He had to sit on ‘the bench’ and then interview for acceptance to the home. We were so nervous, what was I to do with him if he wasn’t accepted? I couldn’t take him back to his old home town in KY!!! He came back to the bench after the interview weeping with is head hanging low, I knew he’d told some of his life story to the stranger in that room. Probably about his friend who had OD’d on his couch and died within the past year, and how he lost his son. I was holding back my tears, too. The decision came and he was accepted. Tears poured out of my eyes it was such a miracle. This place has a great success rate, is free and has an average four year stay though he can graduate in two years. Most people start out at Delancey with no high school education, and then exit with some college, vocational training, and hope for a good life. As I made my way out to my car to head back to KY to pick up my children and then back to MI, some men made me wait while they fixed me two turkey sandwiches, potato chips, an apple and a couple drinks for the road. By the time I made it to the car in that sweet little parking lot, those men had washed it for me. I drove away feeling like my cousins really ARE taking that very important first step and are going to make it after all.