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The Drumming Dervish

Coffee Chat Musings . . . Juicy Blessings ( & lots o' yummy, interesting stuff:-)

What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us

Sometimes it takes a crisis or a break up to reveal the true nature of a relationship and person.

 

It’s better if you can observe the irrational behaviors of someone prior to a significant relationship even starting.

 

Of course, we all have free will, and if a relationship isn’t serving you: Health, goals & dreams or  basic happy LIFE –there’s NO jailor around making either of you stay trapped.

 

However, what if she tells you she’ll call you on Thursday, knowing that you care and you are waiting for some contact, and she doesn’t call?

 

Especially if you're bond is iffy at the time.

 

What does this say about her character?

 

Does this present a person who you REALLY want to depend on in a relationship?

 

The age old saying: LOVE IS BLIND.

 

So she's your soul mate? Where did you get the idea that you MUST put up with a hurful and disrepectful soul mate?

 

Wait 'till the next life, maybe?

 

Never mind that you know her to be dependable, loyal, responsible and all those wonderful things otherwise; . . . What IF she has ditched YOU and in a very rude, ‘stand-up-ish’ sort of way?

 

Words that don’t match actions reveal whether or not a person has your best interest at heart!  

 

When you begin to see signs of a person you love pulling away and not caring about even keeping her word to you, it’s time to make big decisions regarding your own self worth and self respect.

 

Loving her doesn’t give you free reign to harass, hurt or flip-out on what she's doing. No, I'm not suggesting going after her :)

 

It DOES give YOU a lesson to learn about what to do in situations like this one.

 

You are JUSTIFIED in pulling away and protecting yourself from a user and emotional abuser.

 

Don’t blame yourself, or fall victim to any guilt trips about walking away to an emotional space - where you can protect your heart and keep safe your self esteem.

 

This isn’t about the severe verbally or physically abusive relationships, it’s about simply being neglected or dumped by someone you trusted, and learning NOT to behave as if you’re fine with it!

 

*But the same above applies to you if you’re in a negative, dead-end abusive relationship, too.  (Take it away Rosie :) -You volunteer and are an advocate for victims with much to say on this topic!!*

 

In the long run, if you keep your strength of character, you'll be a WINNER! When all is said and done, you'll have held it together.

 

Imagine yourself looking back at the situation with a smile on your face, self respect intact and with a stronger sense of character!

 

Light!

Fawn

 

 

 

 

Published Thursday, July 26, 2007 5:07 PM by Ms Claritynow
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Comments

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Thursday, July 26, 2007 2:58 PM

Fawn all women advocates need to copy this blog.  It is a matter of self esteem and not letting someone undervalue you.
I love your insightful blogs because they are what we all need to hear.  If you been dumped or set aside you really have to step back and say "well Lord whats next?"  and expect something good to come into your life.  I tell all my daughters to put the word "NEXT" on their refrigerator just in case!

Rosie

Rosalea

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Thursday, July 26, 2007 11:22 PM

I was recently dumped by someone I was dating for the dumbest thing on earth.  He barked at me that he would never, never, never, never (four never's) be in a realtionship with me or anyone who acted like me.  And guess what! He's right, he will never, never, never, never be in a relationship with me!!!!

Lovin the Bling

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Friday, July 27, 2007 1:03 AM

LOL!

Ms Claritynow

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Friday, July 27, 2007 7:22 AM

Yep, been there done that one too! Abuse is abuse in many forms and when one chooses to give away parts of themselves to these parisites there is a lost of self, anger and pain but on the flip side you gain courage, strength, wisdom and a sense of self. I look at those relationships as stepping stones to attaining better in my life, i.e.- what I learned, what was my purpose, and what I do/don't need! Sometimes I even had to repeat because I didn't learn from the previous?! Furthermore, I had a purpose to that persons learning also.
As I have learned in many readings and personal life experiences is that everyone who comes into our lives we have contracted with above- to be taught or to teach some karmic lesson, moving our souls to becoming who we are to become in this lifetime.
My relationships now are spiritually based, as it should be, not "punishng", not "saving" someone else and not based on sex. Because I respect the positive qualities and the core essence of my being then that is what I will attract in others. It has taken many years/situations and "alone" time to realize whats important in my life and to know when to let go. Accepting that there is never 100% perfection in this world, changing what I can and most important loving myself!

~Laura

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Friday, July 27, 2007 8:49 AM

That is great Fawn.  I particularly like how you stated if actions do not follow the words then that person does not have your best interests in mind.

I am currently reading a book about success and the first key is to have a vision and do not compromise it.  I thought about how I have had a relationship vision and at times I have indeed compromised it and the results of doing that were quite predictable.  Sometimes we feel sorry for people, sometimes we doubt ourselves and sometimes we look at the potential instead of the actuality.  By having a clear vision of the type and quality of relationship we want and holding that vision as the standard then we have more clarity in our evaluation of potential partners.

No one has to settle.
:)

MalikaHelena

# re: What We Learn- Those Who've Ditched Us @ Friday, July 27, 2007 10:42 AM

So true! Thank you all for sharing :)

Ms Claritynow

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