To be or not to be? That is the question or maybe it’s the solution? I say it’s the solution. In my opinion that famous phrase is not a question, but a choice. To be or not to be happy/sad, angry/calm, selfish/grateful, hurt/joyful, arrogant/humble, lonely/fulfilled or intimidated/confident. Those are just some of the moods we can choose from while going through life‘s many challenges or triumphs.
I’ve been doing a bit of soul searching again and it’s not because something happened. It’s because things are happening all around me, all the time. I am human therefore I have moments of insanity. It’s usually over stuff I cannot control and in the grand scheme of things, usually ends up being silly. Just to be clear, I said moments, not freak-outs that go on for years. I graduated to the moments level a few years ago, which I believe is perfectly normal. I realized with everything I can’t control I have a choice: To be or not to be affected by someone else’s perspective and actions.
We are presented with that choice in everyday life, no matter which area we are focused on at the time. You may think the source of unhappiness is not having what you want in life. WRONG! The source of unhappiness is living with a lack of confidence and not staying true to yourself. I see it all the time with friends, family, clients and even myself at times. We think that if we had this one thing, then all will be good with the world. When it arrives, however, we notice something else we want, but alas, don’t have and that takes us right back to square one: Being unhappy.
Part of the reason some people are unhappy is because they are constantly giving their power away to something/someone else. I’ve been guilty of this plenty of times in my life, so fear not, you’re not alone on this one. This damaging lightening bolt can strike anyone, anywhere and at any time.
Why Do We Give Our Power Away?
Here are the top reasons you are letting other people and situations dictate how you feel…
* Not having enough confidence in your own choices.
* Waiting for other people to validate you.
* Freaking out when something doesn’t go your way.
* Comparing your life to someone else‘s.
* Caring too much about what other people may think of you.
Getting Your Power Back
The only things we can control is what we put out to the public and how we react to others. The number one reason we react negatively to any situation is because we don’t have enough confidence in our own choices. If someone doesn’t share your opinion, so be it. If someone doesn’t find you attractive, focus elsewhere. If someone wants to put themselves first, you do the same. If someone lies to you, don‘t dwell on it. If you allow yourself to live your life based on what other people want or believe, you’re not living at all.
Here are the easiest ways to get your power back…
* Listen to your heart and soul. Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right.
* If someone tries to make you feel like crap, stand up for yourself!
* Connect with yourself. Think about the things you want and pursue them.
* Don’t wait for someone else to validate you. Give yourself kudos when necessary.
* Trust in yourself. If you have confidence in your choices, other people will too.
MOST IMPORTANTLY:
* Stick with people who love you for who you are, flaws and all. If you are trying to be with someone who wants you to be “somebody else“, you may be trying to fit an elephant into a dime-size cube. It’s never good to change yourself just to make someone else feel better.
If you can muster up some confidence in your daily life, you will find that making decisions, getting along with others and not worrying so much will become MUCH easier. You’ll be able to stay focused on what’s really important to you. Not only that, but you’ll also be able to attract what you want without having to fight so hard. So today, choose TO BE happy, grateful, calm, joyful, humble and confident. All of these things will lead to fulfillment.