I was a 15 year old runaway. My father had passed on leaving me to a verbally abusive mother, who also had a gambling problem. I figured in my teen age mind that any money she wasn't losing probably needed to go towards feeding my little sister and brother, and after all I had enough of the yelling anyway so I left. I remember, it was the beginning of winter 1978.

I had wondered about 15 miles on foot to the downtown area of Omaha, Ne. There was a cute little shopping area that looked like it might have been a railroad building and a trading post (otherwise known as the Old Market), in days of yore. I stood standing, looking at the several stores, wondering which one I should go into to warm up, while not being chased out by an angry store keeper. I don't know what guided me to go into a dress shoppe, but I did...and this is where magick made it's way into my life. The shopkeeper, a younger lady, seen me, but continued to help customers in the store until we stood alone. When she came towards me I'm sure I cowered and was prepared to run until she said "I was going to make some hot cocoa if you'd like to join me".

The kind woman, drank cocoa with me while telling me she was going to be a mother as well as a few other things about herself. As we finished she motioned me over to where her register was, explaining she had something for me. Of course, I thought she was going to give me money, ( being a naive 15 year old ) but instead she handed me an old wooden box. (Later I learn that perhaps her psychic gift was given to me at that moment too.) When I opened them there was a very unique looking deck of cards, which she told me to keep as she wouldn't be needing them anymore. I don't really know why she decided to part with them that day, or to a boy who was likely to lose everything he had with him, but I'm so glad she did.

My road took alot of twists and turns after that, but somehow through it all I kept that box, and deck of cards. It was a Madam De Llamond deck fashioned after what Josephine's ( Napolean's wife) tarot reader had used. That reader forecasted Napolean's defeat that may or may not had something to do with Josephine departing right before he was defeated.

Eventually, after deciding I was never going to meet anyone to instruct me how to use the cards, I decided to live through the deck. I would remove 1 card at a time and wait for an experience to happen to me out of the ordinary. You know it always did! O.o After I was done with this self teaching, I only used the cards on myself for many years. After that, I decided since they always guided me to the right decision, ( or made it apparant they weren't going to answer me with a 'the fool' type card ) that I would do it for my friends.

By now I was 17, and my life was a little more stable. Unfortunately, I lost the deck about a year later in a move! Now, I had to wait, I knew for another deck to present itself to me and it did about a week later...an old masonic kabbalah deck.(similar to the decks alot of us use now) Strangely, this deck was waiting for me in a book store, and after I got to know the owner some he also gifted me the cards, which he said had been under the counter for years..yet he felt I was the right person to have them. Again, I took the cards one at a time, and learned from life's experiences what each meant.

This my friends, is how I got to you. Each reading I did for many years helped me to refine how I seen the cards (or rather felt them). Most readers depend on a teacher which urges you to memorize the meaning..when I pull each card for you an experience jumps from my past and I have an emotion, to go with the physical meaning. This is why I say I dance to a different drum.