I thought I'd take just a little break from the "Emotionally Unavailability" Series to talk about a different but certainly related topic - of "Being Hooked" - being hooked on someone that isn't good for you and thereafter determining - really purposing in your mind - that you want to get unhooked and move on into a new season of joy and dignity and decency in your life.


There are really five reasons at the root of how and why you are hooked.  And the basis for all five reasons - at the root of all five is CONTROL:
  1. CONTROL through Power
  2. CONTROL through Weakness
  3. CONTROL through Servitude
  4. CONTROL through Guilt
  5. CONTROL through Jealousy
What this mans is that you can get hooked because someone is asserting Power over you - Power not in a good way - not supporting you or steering you to something positive but controlling you and asserting power over you in ways that prevent you from being your own best self and it also serves to prevent you from having a equal share of Power in the relationship overall.

The other means of control comes though Weakness - exploiting a Weakness that you have within yourself - maybe you've shared a secret or the other person knows of a particular vulnerability you have because of something you have gone though in the past.  Then instead of bolstering you - supporting you, promoting you and helping you to grow stronger - they instead exploit your Weakness and use it to maintain you - and keep you in a vulnerable place of Weakness in the relationship.

Sure you are a nurturing kind of gal - nothing wrong with that - you love to love your man - he's king of the castle and that is fine with you - Right?  Sure that's fine if your efforts are appreciated and reciprocated.  But if you are serving a king that doesn't deserve to be the head of the household - a man who is pressuring you into a role of Servitude and asserting control over you in that way - with no regard to giving anything of themselves within the relationship - then that is an unhealthy control and one that will keep you hooked in Servitude

Control via Guilt - that's a bad one too - a use of the unhealthy emotion of Guilt - to keep you in involved in a relationship  - keep you hooked out of obligation and manipulation based upon Guilt - which will only serve to keep you downtrodden emotionally in a relationship that is ultimately bad for you. Someone that uses your nurturing kindness and keeps you hooked in an unloving relationship out of the manipulation of Guilt - is not someone who truly loves you - and definitely not someone you should stay hooked to. 

Do we want someone no one else wants?  Certainly not - but when someone toys with your emotions - and uses Jealously - purposefully to control you and keep you hooked in a relationship - that sort of behavior is not only cruel but a show of deep manipulation and control. 

Don't stay hooked - Don't stay controlled - Take back you own Power and Unhook yourself from someone who is controlling you - and not loving and respecting you in the manner in which you deserve. 
EVER BEEN HOOKED?  HOW DID YOU UNHOOK YOURSELF?  PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
NEXT UP:  Part Three in the "Emotionally Unavailable" Series: "Tens and Other Trophies"