Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls - these folks have grown up totally secure in the belief that they - and they alone - hung the moon.  Mom and Dad gave them everything - everything that is - except emotional connections.  When you are dealing with a Mama' s Boy or a Daddy's Girl - the first problem is that it is highly unlikely that Mom or Dad will ever fully relinquish any presence in the life of your beloved.  That's a big 'ole problem for you - as Princess Di once famously said: "there were three of us in this marriage . . ."  And, I'm telling you this kind of situation ain't good. 

As we continue our look at the whole notion of "Emotional Unavailability" I am drawing from the book by Bryn C. Collins. When dealing with a Mama's Boy or Daddy's Girl, you will find that their expectation is for you - like Mom and Dad - to become a cheering member of their admiration society.  But not even a full member - 'cause Mom and Dad already have that covered - therefore you are like a satellite member.  How boring and self-absorbed is that? 

The other problem with this kind of relationship - is that your love is always going to be compared, generally and unfavorably, to the love that Mama and Daddy offered. Often this is measured materially.  It always becomes a case of "Daddy would have gotten me . . . ." or "Mama never got upset when . . . "

The love they got from Mama or Daddy was a boundary-free love - not an unconditional love.  There is a huge difference.  Unconditional love means that "I love you through thick and thin and we will get though anything together -  as long as you are acting like a reasonable person.  A boundary-free love means that "I don't care who you slash and burn, how many banks you rob, how long it takes you to get a job - I will always fix it and I will always love you."  See the difference?

So Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls receive over time a very unique message:  "I'm special, rules don't apply to me, if I get consequences Mom or Dad will fix it." These folks clearly come to earnestly believe that they can do anything they want.  In order to function in any kind of relationship there has to be structure - and these folks have absolutely no sense of structure - particularly in matters of the heart and love.  They have no sense of structure and no sense of consequences.  When you are in a relationship with someone like this - you have on your hands - someone who will never take responsibility, never take ownership and never really be a true partner - because they are emotionally unavailable. 

Mama's Boys and Daddy's Girls have been protected by their parents from all potentially painful and therefore learning experiences.   They never had to feel their feelings - 'cause Mama and Daddy always kiss the boo-boo and make the hurt go away.  So, if you are in a relationship with a Mama's Boy or a Daddy's Girl, you can expect a negative return on your emotional investment.  This of course will lead to enormous frustration on your part.  The relationship will abruptly end - if you even dare to ask for any completion on the circle of emotion or dare suggest that your partner's behavior has had any consequences or that you are displeased with something she or she has said or done. 

Then there you are - left bruised and confused - because your reasonable expectations have been shattered.  But don't second-guess your own belief system - the good news is - now you can move on to someone who is emotionally available. 
Ever run into a Mama's Boy or a Daddy's Girl?  I'm sure it wasn't pretty.  But let me know what your experience was. 
NEXT UP:  Part Five in the "Emotionally Unavailable" Series: "Holics:  Alca . . ., Coca . . ., Spenda . . ., Sexa . . ., Worka . . ."