From the book by Bryn C. Collins, "Emotionally Unavailable" we continue with the series:  "Emotionally Unavailable" - the first type of emotionally unavailable individual we will discuss is the "Romeo or Romiette." 

Here is the scenario:  It all starts out so wonderfully, calls, letters, emails, texts, romantic evenings, cards, flowers, special and thoughtful gifts, trips - little get-a-ways, maybe even some "bling."  Then what do you you do?  What would any self-respecting romantic do?  You fall, I mean - you fall hard.  You make plans in your head, you talk about the person ad nauseum, you think - to yourself - you have most surely found THE ONE.  I mean why would he say and do all these wonderful things and invest all this time - if there was not true interest - true feelings and most assuredly a true and earnest future? 

So what's the problem?  The problem is you began to believe the hype - you bought into the dream - you believed what you saw with your own eyes and heard with your own ears - BUT THEN . . . horror of all horrors - Romeo or Romiette - is gone - poof, adios, unanswered messages, no phone calls, no plans, no trips, no gifts, no talking, no nothing.  It's like you were in a mirage - a psychotic dream - or nightmare as it now appears to be. 

This is why Bryn says Great Balcony - No Stamina - because actually "Romeo" offered nothing to sustain the illusion of what was laid before you.  It is the intensity of the connection that hooks you - it feels real, deep, secure and lasting.  Because the focus is on you - you never thought to look deep enough into the motivation of the Romeo, nor the history of true underlying personality of the Romeo. 

I mean it was all about you, what you want, where you want to go, what you want to do, what you love, what you dream of for the future - who had time to ask any questions in return? 

Questions like:  "Hey, buddy are you for real or is this all a bunch of horsesh**?"  

By the time you have gathered yourself - Romeo is gone.  On to the next conquest.  Easy for him to do - because he has made no emotional investment in the relationship and in fact has made no emotional investment in you.  Gratitude, flattery, even money are not the same as love and a real emotional connection. 

Romeo is OK though because he is emotionally distant and unavailable - too emotionally unavailable you discover to even answer the million dollar question:  "WHY"? - or "What the Fu** is wrong with you?"

You were essentially objectified in this scenario, treated just like an object that was placed delicately out on the balcony - but Girl, please don't jump - because there is no landing pad to be sure. 

It's  not  nice, and it is definitely not OK.  But it is what it is - so spot the Romeo before you go climbing the crystal stair out onto that balcony - or at least have a parachute ready to catch yourself when you fall.
Ever run into a Romeo or Romiette?  Let me know about it. 
NEXT UP:  Part Two in the "Emotionally Unavailable" Series:  "Indiana Jones: The Dangerous Man"