Do you try to 2d Guess Someone's Silence?
There is a lesson I have learned over and over. Whether it be romance, business, or friendships, if you have to pump someone to email or call you for answers more then twice, its time to accept their answer is in their silence. And it screams loud! Choosing to not understand someone’s silence is called blind denial. Here are some of the excuses I have used to make myself feel better when someone’s silence is “screaming”.
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They are not near their phone and have not heard my message
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They are too busy and can not get back at a convenient time
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They are over sleeping
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They just need a reminder
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They are busy with family
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Its not a good time for them at this point
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The time just isn’t right yet in their life
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There are too many people around for privacy to get back.
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They can’t hear your knock on the door.
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The reason there are 100 other people listed on their much waited for email, is because they wanted you to get back.
Here is what not to do when someone’s silence is screaming louder then words.
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Do not keep calling
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Do not keep emailing
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Do not send a 6 page letter to explain your frustration. {If they cared they would have gotten back to you.}
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Do not ride past their house
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Do not check your email every hour, go out!
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Do not buy them gifts just encase they communicate.
If you have not heard back, and you are going into high anxiety…it’s a done deal. Think seriously about doing the following.
· Detoxify your self with the company of other friends
· Move on to another contract or potential transaction
· Redesign another plan that gives you hope
· Block your thoughts of the one screaming silence.
· Do not buy them gifts just encase they communicate.
· Do not allow fantasies to make the relationship real for you.
OUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO FEEL DESPAIR
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We are entitled to our despair. It’s ok to feel this when we are ignored.
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What is not OK is to live in despair constantly in a state of waiting.
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Trust that the Universe has another plan for you; a better one.
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Life is a test. Always remember when the odds seem against us, and the bumps in life come one, after another; treat it like a car wreck.
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Loosen up and roll with the flow.
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A peaceful state of acceptance of the situation, when we have tried our hardest, often makes US more bearable for others....MOST OF ALL OURSELVES.
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Soon, you will see new options. It's called survival.
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The more we waste time crying over the odds, the more we actually sabotage ourselves.
THE SURVIVOR
An expert on survival in the jungle said there are 2 stages a person goes into when lost in the jungle, before they hunker down to the business of living..
· STAGE ONE – TOTAL PANIC {the stage people most likely make illogical actions.}
· STAGE TWO- ACCEPTANCE {the stage people start to look around and scope the options for survival}
Lets choose survival when the odds are against us, or when someone’s refusal to value us as a person puts us in despair. Life is a test, and each failure is just a pass to the next stage of wisdom and improvement. You can do it! There is a wonderful world out there full of fresh opportunities. I wish you blessings and love, Ann Marie {Sister Othelia}