He’s Caught You looking like a Slob…is it Over?
A friend of mine was shocked to answer her door and find a man a day early for a coffee date. She didn’t have a stitch of make up on, was dressed in a sweat shirt and her hair was messy. Shocked by her looks, he stammered and turned red. Mortified that he had caught her looking "ugly," {in her own opinion}, and vulnerable, she reverted to survivor behavior. She invited him in.
As if she were naked, he backed away and turned bright red. Looking down, then staring intently into her face, he said he was sorry he’d come on the wrong day. {She wanted to die}, but said “that’s all right! It was great to see you.” She even blew him a casual kiss in the air and shut the door.
That evening she received a surprising note. He sent an email message that he was sorry he got embarrassed by seeing her looking so laid back. "She looked passionately casual." It had made him think of “the morning after” and what she must look like for a special man’s eyes only.
Monica had to laugh. She had truly thought she looked awful. To bring the passion out of someone to see her so “dressed down” made her wonder if other men felt the same way. She went out of her way to present a polished look for the public eye. She ALWAYS looked her very best.
Say what you will I believe the people that love and admire us feel honored when we let them see us in all our flaws. It means they themselves can relax and be imperfect. The complexity of that is unimaginable. For those of us that knock ourselves out to present a perfect image to the public, this is enlightening. We begin to see we can use this "dress down" at appropriate times in powerful ways.
Dressing up for work remains a must for most offices. Our natural side is our power too. When it comes to relationships many men feel deeply that relationships are "high maintenance." Of course when they see us dressed down, and confident, it proves that term wrong. We can be simple elegant creatures as well. They have the wisdom of seeing BOTH our sides...{and keep our secret.}
I have often been shocked when presenting pictures before the men of my life of which photo they liked best. It seems the one I like least they like most. Which is it? Usually of me on a weekend morning when I just woke up, connected with an intimate memory. That intimate memory can be from a nice laid back conversation......to a great night together. Beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder.