Train The Person You Love How To Treat You
One of the most important relationship rules you can remember, is that you must “train” the person you love how to treat you from the beginning. It’s really no different then training a puppy not to pee on the floor. Allow the pup to continue having accidents with out discipline, the pup will continue to pee on the floor. A negative habit becomes every day behavior. And this will be exactly what will happen if you let negative behavior continue without "discipline" in your relationship. Here are some red flags:
· cancels plans without calling first,
· continues to drop in at all hours of the night without plans,
· would rather see you at your bedroom instead of taking you out,
· Borrows the car / money from you without paying you back.
· wants sex but continues to say you are just friends.
· Loves to make you jealous but insists you are a basket case for being so.
· Uses suicide to keep you in their life
· Hits you for the first time without reason.
HOW TO SAY NO FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN
The following references are for training first stage relationships. One of the problems for women and men who are consistently taken advantage of, is they believe that "talk" "talk" and more "talk" will heal the relationship problem. After awhile they begin to feel as if they are beating thier head into walls. For these exasperated souls, {both men and women}, I suggest learning how to "take a bitch pill."
"OTHER" CANCELS PLANS REPEATEDLY: ...... Just do not accept the next plan. Words are cheap. Action is everything. Refuse to nurture the canceller. They need to earn your company. Say no with evasiveness.
DROPS IN OR CALLS WITH OUT PLANS: Let the answering machine take their call. Answer the door and say, "Another time? Give me a call first. Thanks for stopping by." Sounds cruel, but so is their lack of consideration. Is "other" waking you out of deep sleep to chat or talk sexualy but never during the day? Not good.
BED ROOM DATES INSTEAD OF DINNER DATES: This is called a Booty Call. Don't allow it. It is an absolute sealed deal once you allow your bed to be the second encounter. It will continue to be the "safe zone" to non commitment. Say NO, explain why, and be consistent.
BORROWS THE CAR AND MONEY REPEATEDLY:
The second time you loan your car, the more it will be asked for. The SECOND time you give out money, for sure it will be expected you loan again. If they are doing nothing to help themselves, why should you? Tell the car loaner your insurance does not allow it. SAY NO to loaning money without return.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: Do you really believe this will blossom into something more? Just say no. A friend is a friend, a lover is a lover. Say NO the next time "friend" is mentioned when you thought it was more. It's ok if they feel that way. But its not ok for you to settle for less if you need more.
GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS:
If this person spends more time talking to others then you, why even go out a second time? Just say you had a nice time at night ending, and realize you saw a taste of what is to come. Don't make a scene or be angry.
THEY USE SUICIDE THREATS TO MAKE YOU STAY: Careful compassion is needed with this soul. Do give a concerned ear and 1-800 SUICIDE #. This person needs a therapist. Believe their threats of death, and refrain from feeling the need to be their Angel of Mercy. This is what psychologists are for. Their need holds essence of control over you, and could cause guilt forever...and ever....and ever.
HITS YOU THE FIRST TIME, THEN GIVES LOVE
Don't allow a second time. Walk away the first time it happens. WALK AWAY. Say No to abuse.
It’s up to you of course. But remember, if you are always walked over because you are a slave to your compassion, its time to change your patterns. You have much more power then you think. Remember that if you allow a puppy to pee on the floor, it will continue to have accidents. The choice is yours.