Train the Person You Love How to Treat You
One
of the most important relationship rules you can remember is that you
must “train” the person you love how to treat you from the beginning. It’s really no different then training a puppy not to pee on the floor. Allow the pup to continue having accidents with out discipline, the pup will still mess on your floor. Put that {lover} in the hands of someone who cracks down and magically they behave. Why didn't we do that? We get so hurt and aggravated when someone's abusive behavior becomes an Angel for another. Pay attention to unforgivable red flags. Don't forget to take your "bitch pill" when he/she:
· cancels plans without calling first,
· continues to drop in at all hours of the night without plans,
· would rather see you at your bedroom instead of taking you out,
· Borrows the car / money from you without paying you back.
· wants sex but continues to say you are just friends.
· Loves to make you jealous but insists you are "psycho" for being so.
· Uses suicide to keep you in their life
· Hits you
HOW TO SAY NO FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN
The following references are for training first stage relationships. One of the problems for women and men who are consistently taken advantage of, is
they believe that "talk" "talk" and more "talk" will heal the
relationship problem. After awhile they begin to feel as if they
are beating thier head into walls. For these exasperated souls, {both
men and women}, I suggest learning how to "take a bitch pill."
- "OTHER" CANCELS PLANS REPEATEDLY: ......
Just do not accept the next plan. Words are cheap. Action is
everything. Refuse to nurture the canceller. They need to earn your
company. Say no with evasiveness.
- DROPS IN OR CALLS WITH OUT PLANS: Let
the answering machine take their call. Answer the door and say,
"Another time? Give me a call first. Thanks for stopping by." Sounds
cruel, but so is their lack of consideration. Is "other" waking you
out of deep sleep to chat or talk sexualy but never during the day?
Not good.
- BED ROOM DATES INSTEAD OF DINNER DATES: This
is called a Booty Call. Don't allow it. It is an absolute
sealed deal once you allow your bed to be the second encounter. It
will continue to be the "safe zone" to non commitment. Say NO, explain
why, and be consistent.
- BORROWS THE CAR AND MONEY REPEATEDLY:
The second
time you loan your car, the more it will be asked for. The SECOND
time you give out money, for sure it will be expected you
loan again. If they are doing nothing to help themselves, why should
you? Tell the car loaner your insurance does not allow it. SAY NO to
loaning money without return.
- FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
Do you really believe this will blossom into something more? Just say
no. A friend is a friend, a lover is a lover. Say NO the next time
"friend" is mentioned when you thought it was more. It's ok if they
feel that way. But its not ok for you to settle for less if you need
more.
- GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS:
If
this person spends more time talking to others then you, why even go
out a second time? Just say you had a nice time at night ending, and
realize you saw a taste of what is to come. Don't make a scene or be
angry.
- THEY USE SUICIDE THREATS TO MAKE YOU STAY: Careful compassion is needed with this soul. Do give a concerned ear
and 1-800 SUICIDE #. This person needs a therapist. Believe their
threats of death, and refrain from feeling the need to be their Angel
of Mercy. This is what psychologists are for. Their need holds
essence of control over you, and could cause guilt forever...and
ever....and ever.
- HITS YOU, THEN GIVES LOVE
Don't allow a second time. Walk away the first time it happens. WALK AWAY. Say No to abuse.
It’s up to you of course. But remember,
if you are always walked over because you are a slave to
your compassion, its time to change your patterns. You have much more
power then you think. Remember that if you allow a puppy to pee on the floor, it will continue to have accidents. The choice is yours.