WHEN THE DOG DIES
Waking up this sweltering summer morning I had my coffee, kissed my husband goodbye and did my Yoga. There was just enough coolness in the morning to give my three dogs a walk. On opening the door to the back yard two of my dogs ran in. My Golden Retriever did not. What met my eyes made me cry. My joyous beautiful Jazz was standing feebly with a blank stare, slobber running down her listless fur. Immediately I rushed out to her. Helping her in to the kitchen she collapsed at my feet.
I waited for the other dogs to show me the source of her condition. I had heard dogs will sniff out the area of a sick person or animal. What disturbed me most is that neither of my other dogs did this. Her husband, the dashing white Wolf/Husky cross, who stood by her side 9 years hell or high water, seemed frightened of her. It was the spastic Coker Spaniel that lay next to her.
It was very early, so Vets were not open for hours. Immediately I sat beside her and stroked her fur. Her vacant eyes stared ahead, 2 dilated black pupils as big as plates. She wouldn’t eat or drink anything I offered her. I felt death around her, and crying held my hands above her body for an hour in a feeble attempt of hands on healing. She seemed content, not in pain, and I felt no fever in her. Shots had all been kept up, and just 2 days ago she was running like a beautiful red horse in the park. Now looking at her it seemed she had grown 3 years older over night. Thinking back I remembered how shocked I was that the white mask that senior Golden Retrievers get, had completely covered her face. I remember saying “Jazzy you’re a ghost!”
Feeling as if my child was dying, I called my mother. She listened, waiting for this day with dread I am sure. She had pointed out my home looked like a geriatric ward for animals.. I had gone wild when I bought my own home, and went on a rampage saving any abused animal I could find. It had been my life long dream. Some I kept, some I found homes for. But one day my husband looked at our 3 dogs and 3 cats and screamed “NO MORE!. ONE MORE RESCUED ANIMAL IN THIS HOUSE AND I AM GONE!” “But I only kept the ones that were well behaved!” I yelled back in self defense. I knew he was right.
By mid afternoon the Vet told me if Jazz ran no fever, to bring her in the next morning for a look. At her age, animals can reach their time quickly and for no apparent reason. I suppose testimony of this would be the man or woman that runs marathons and eats organic foods, suddenly dropping dead in their early 50’s. My Jazz ran every day in the park. Today she stayed by my feet all day. Though dropping every 10 steps, we made it to the shade of the lawn, sat and listened to passing cars together, walked slowly to the house where I read a book as she lay still at my feet. I will sleep by her on the couch tonight, and pray for the better good.