Expat Living: Learn the Language
A year ago you were dreaming of living in your quaint apartment in Paris, working part-time at a bookstore, visiting the Provence countryside on leisurely weekends, walking through the Latin Quarter, enjoying the art in the Louvre and the Picasso Museum, having coffee with new-hound French friends at a sidewalk café and sharing delicious meals at a funky bistro. You would be taking classes and meeting exciting new people.
Now, a year later, you dread waking up and when you do you look around your cramped apartment and sigh. Your neighbors and those you pass on the street irritate and anger you every word they say and you find yourself disgusted by the customs people observe at the market, the café any just about anywhere. The part-time job at the bookstore never materialized as you did not have the grasp of the French language you needed. People are not very outgoing and you find you no longer eat at a café or bistro much because eating alone is not enjoyable.
You sleep nearly 10 hours a night and an hour or two when you can during the day. You feel isolated. You feel lost and without identity. You wonder how much longer you can take it, and you avoid outside contact as much as possible.
Culture Shock
You are suffering from culture shock, and your mental health has been affected. You have depression and anxiety. The symptoms of depression expatriates often experience include difficulty concentrating, irritability, increased tiredness, memory problems and significant changes in eating and sleeping patterns such as insomnia or sleeping longer the 8-9 hours a night n addition to naps during the day. The symptoms of anxiety can manifest as an inability to stay focused, a constant vague feeling that something is wrong or feelings of fear that you cannot connect to anything.
This is not uncommon for expatriates. Culture shock is a very serious issue and one’s mental health is at the center of life for an expatriate. Mental health is about who you are but also about knowing who you are. It is about your identity. We create our identity in large part through our relationship with and to our surroundings. When the surroundings are so different or we are unable to adapt to them, we lose our sense of identity. This is a wound, and the Your healing will come from connecting with the culture by learning the language.
For an expatriate, it is vital to know how to engage your environment – to learn the language, to learn te culture and to do simple everyday tasks. You want to be able to do simple things like cook and shop for the supplies you need to do that. You want to be able to set up a household, to find things to do in your leisure time and to make new friends.
This may be difficult or easy, depending on the culture. In some places, like Denmark, natives have a group of friends they have known closely all their lives because they were in the same class all through school. This results in them not being extremely open to making new friends (inviting you to social gatherings or coffee etc). They are socially cordial, but new Danish friend are hard to come by unless you have a Danish boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse. In that case, you inherit their friends, who are open to you because they know the Danish mate or spouse. That’s when you get to experience real Danish hygge (coziness).
Easing the Shock: Learn the Language
Prior to moving to a new country, find out all you can about language classes. If possible, save money fr a private tutor and/or for classes that may cost money (they can be expensive is not). Once you arrive, immerse yourself in language learning.
When I learned French in 14 months, I took 2 3-hours classes per week during the academic year and 5 4-hour classes each week during the summer. I met one hour per day for five days with a tutor, went to a language lab 1 hour a day, watched at least one French movie or French-subtitled movie per day and along with classmates went to see French movie at the local theatre whenever they came out. This was in addition to practicing with my classmates and doing at least 2 hours of homework per night. In short, I embraced the language which helped me embrace the culture.
Either before you leave for your new home, or after you arrive, you can also order language programs for your computer or audiotapes that you can listen to at various times of the day.
The Good, the Bad and the Future
Remember that you will have good days and bad days in your new country. On the “bad days” when you are hit hardest with culture shock and its accompanying depression and/or anxiety, treat yourself gently: Watch DVD/films from home, hang out with other expatriates and go to a club, bar, tavern or other hangout where there are people from your native country.
On the "good days", immerse yourself in some language study. It gets the brain waves flowing and the synapses sparking, which helps to decrease depression. Through the language you will learn more about the culture and the little things you learn while doing it will come to you when you do everyday tasks or when you hear a conversation.
Soon you will be speaking the language, even if badly at first, and enjoying conversations and interactions with natives! You will find it easier to get a job and to make new friends to have coffee with at that sidewalk cafe!
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Are you an expatriate trying to adjust to your new life? Contact me to start your Expat Coaching program today so you can thrive in your new life!