He Sent Me Into My Own "Idiot" Tailspin
Dear Storm,
Please give it to use ladies straight as an arrow through our heart about how to tell whether or not a man REALLY is interested and in love with us and how to tell when we should know better than to believe his fancy way of working us into our own “idiot” tailspin. Then effectively tell us how to give him hell back for it.
Thanks,
Christina
Dear Christina,
I have been doing an enormous amount of research and study about relationships recently. I have read many books, some of which I think should be thrown off the shelves because they are filled with such rubble that the only fitting place for them would be a bon fire.
Let us put this simply, if a man is interested in you or wants to be with you he is going to communicate. This does not mean that he is going to express how he feels, because that is an issue that is really more on a man by man basis. Yet, he will in some manner communicate with you! This could be via email, text messaging, telephone, or visiting you. The level of the interest may vary from man to man, but if he is communicating he is interested.
One of the largest mistakes that people make is to put a litmus test or paper grade on how much this communication should be. For example, I will often get clients that will say to me, “I have not heard from so and so, is he losing interesting in me?” This I will follow up with, “When was the last time you heard from him?” You will be shocked to learn that many will say either yesterday or the day before yesterday. I think we should let people communicate in the way they feel comfortable, and attempt to not push people to do what we want them to do, because that is what we desire. This is especially important as a relationship is beginning to develop.
As far as giving someone hell for throwing you into YOUR OWN IDIOT tailspin, this requires an enormous effort that most people are not willing to take. It means you need to look at yourself and ask yourself what is LACKING in you that you are allowing someone to treat you this badly. Further, why should you take REVENGE for you being in YOUR OWN idiot tailspin? You did it! Not him. Why should he be responsible for your actions? I do not think there is a man out there that when he meets someone he tells them, “Hi, I am looking for a high maintenance, super obsessed female, that is emotionally neurotic, and will blame me for how she has worked herself up into an emotional frenzy.” In essence, we need to own our own behaviors. If we become emotionally charged over a situation, it is our CHARGE, it is what we need to look at and ask ourselves, why is this going on?
In closing, the main point that I want to get across is that when a relationship becomes about POWER, it is no longer about love. When a relationship is about GETTING EVEN or REVENGE it is no longer about love. When a relationship is about CONTROL, it is no longer about love. When a relationship is about CHANGING OTHERS it is no longer about love.
When are we going to start loving again?
This is a very bare bones post about relationships if people have comments or questions for me, please post them, I will answer them to clear things up for you.
In Light,
Storm
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