Dear Storm,

My name is Amelia and I have been involved with Tom for 3 years.   It seems that the relationship between the two of us is never moving forward.   Recently, I asked him about the future of our relationship and he told me he wanted to get a better job first.  I really do not care about his job situation; I just want to be in a committed relationship with him.  Could you help?   I am worried because he spends a lot of time with his former wife and son.

Amelia, NY

Dear Amelia,

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, yet I am hoping this startling revelation will help you get more perspective on the situation.    The relationship between Tom and his wife has not ended.  I feel that the two of them have been together, sexually, and he wants to return to the relationship with her, which is why he spends so much time with her and his child.    I know this is very difficult for you to hear and believe me it is difficult to type, when you know someone is going through an emotional situation with someone, yet that is the truth and that is the reality.    I do feel that the moment that his former wife agrees to let him back into the relationship (and she will) that he will end the situation with you and return to the relationship with her.    I get the feeling that Tom has a lot of family of origin issues, and one of which is that he was either hurt by his own father or abandoned by him, and this is the reason that he wants to be an active part of his son’s life.  

My suggestion for you is for you to move on.   After 3 years, of being his ‘bedroom babe’ it is time for you to face that simply wanting to get a better job is not the issue, and him not wanting to be in a committed relationship with you is.   This is not to say that he is not attracted to you and does not want to be with you physically, because he does.   I just do not feel that it is going to go beyond that and into something that you will feel secure with.  

I wish you tons of light and healing in this situation.

In Light,

Storm

I should be on all week to take calls from everyone!  I look forward to speaking with you and addressing the concerns in your life. -- SC

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