I have experienced through my years as a reader the ups and downs of
divorce. To my amazement I have encountered so many people who have a
hard time letting go after the divorce. Most commonly it is the Woman who
has the hard time disconnecting. It is usually the Woman who cannot accept
that the Ex Husband has moved on and starts a new family so quickly. Now I
understand children may be involved, but that doesn’t mean your future of
happiness has to end because of the children. I feel when a relationship has
ended it is time to move forward and find what it is our souls need. It is an
opportunity to make better in our lives to what has been lacking. In our time
we are all suffering in some way with what the economy has become. It is
the work of two people to keep a home financially sound now a days.
Women who once were stay at home Moms have had to find a job or start a
career to keep a house hold afloat. During a time of Divorce one of the
biggest fears is how am I going to financially survive? Remember you are
now free from unhappiness and have the opportunity to find true happiness
and purpose within yourself. If Divorce is thrown at you from your partner
unexpectedly, realize it is better than living a lie of emotions if that person
stayed. When one feels trapped in a marriage cheating and lies is what
usually follows. In most cases people deep down do understand why the
relationship has ended. Now alimony from an ex husband is helpful but it
truly is not his responsibility to work his butt off to give you a hand out. Take
responsibility for yourself and your own work. This will help you find
independence and self worth. There are no excuses to allow you to become
helpless. Be smart and look at the reality of where your life is heading. If you
want to keep the family home by yourself without working and collecting
alimony think again. If it would take two incomes to keep the home afloat
how in the heck would you do it alone? Also memories within the home can
haunt your future and create uneasiness within you while living there. My
advice is to get out of the family home as soon as possible. A new
environment can help heal you and your children quicker. Change is
happening during a divorce no matter what. If it is money you fear then get a
job. Any job will be helpful to start and then you can search in time for more
money and better. If its a career you want then get to it right away. The
longer you wait the more likely you will not do it. You cannot get angry at
yourself for relying on someone else for so long because that was your
choice. Now it is your time to create a life of self and pride. You will get
through this and come out of it a more independent person. Emotions and
hurt will take time to heal and they will. In time you will find new love and
have opportunities to starting new relationships if you chose. Your children
will heal and forgive, so worry about you first to help heal them. If you are
off balanced your children can feel it and become off. I have seen so many
people come out on top after a divorce so realize it is not the end of your
life or the end of the world.
Namaste,
Melanie