This Woman's Journey: The Nitty Gritty
The attempt to shift my thoughts away from worrying about my finances is similar to doing battle. I feel the doubt approaching like advancing enemy lines. But I won't wave that white flag. I've been through this before and have come through unscathed, twice as powerful and ready for my bounty.
My love life is null and void at this point but it is okay. The last thing I need is to invest my energy into something that is more taxing than supportive. My focus has to remain on changing my current reality. Too often in my past I have allowed myself to buy into the illusion of the "perfect relationship", only to find that I fell in love with an idea and not what truly is.
Which brings me to yet another truth. As children we are programmed to believe in the grand illusion...the reality that all those who went before us, helped to create. Just about everything we have been taught is backwards. For example: You have heard the saying "the calm before the storm"? What has this prompted us to expect? That when everything is going well...we shouldn't expect it to last? Ask yourself why this is so and what possible good could this bring us. It undermines every intention, every attempt to manifest a better world. I mean after all...what is the point of having a wonderful reality if you are to expect it will all collapse. See my point?
Try filtering and reversing everything you have learned growing up. Instead of thinking the calm before the storm....think....the storm before the calm. If I can get through this....I can get through anything. This transformation of thought alters the beliefs that have been in place since you were born. What you believe about yourself, how you think of yourself, what you believe you deserve and attract. All this changes. There is sudden clarity...knowledge...light.
I know I am changing old thought patterns. At times it takes more than just wanting it. I actually have to change my routine...get out of myself for a few hours. Our old thought patterns have years and years of practice on us and therefore are pretty strong. Sometimes we have to terminate those thoughts and set new ones in motion by following through with some physical action. For example this morning I looked in the mirror and gave thanks for everything I could think of. And that was not an easy task for me at this time. As I said at the start of this series...my feeling of gratitude has been almost next to nothing these days.