Unmasking the Sociopath
Some call them psychic vampires. Our society calls them sociopaths. Whatever the label used, sociopaths often integrate themselves so well into your life and being that you may not realize you are under attack until the damage has already been done. And while it is true that every soul has a purpose to fulfill, there is considerable debate as to whether the sociopath has a soul to begin with. Hence the challenge involving nurture verses nature when attempting to define the true nature of the sociopath.
One thing is for certain. Sociopaths wear many masks and every mask worn, every thought or action is self serving. They need relationships to fulfill their end goal. You are the most important tool in their arsenal for obtaining the things they want and they thrive on you being oblivious to who and what they really are. They are not a force to be reasoned with, nor are they to be looked upon as damaged individuals who just need a little love and encouragement. Sociopaths are incapable of feeling love or compassion for you or anyone else. They cannot be "fixed" because in their own eyes there is nothing wrong with them.
Those who find themselves in any type of relationship or marriage with sociopaths often wonder how they could ever have attracted someone like this into their lives. After all, most of us have been taught through experience, to become aware of red flags at the onset of a relationship. But the sociopath is a cunning creature; extremely adept at blind sighting his or her victims, with the charm and attention they lavish upon you in the beginning. This is a person who will zero in on any weakness you may have, whether it is desperation, loneliness or lack of self esteem. Remember this is a person who can make you believe that you are the only person in the world who matters to them. And in a twist of irony this is true. Once they have set their sights on something you can help them achieve...you are what matters most to them.
Sociopaths can be extremely dangerous people and while not all sociopaths are or become killers, the damage they inflict upon their victims is often so traumatizing that it can take years of working through the recovery process to heal fully. They can drain you completely of energy, emotion and even your financial resources.
Other Profile Characteristics of a Sociopath
Superficial charm: This may not be evident at first glance. To the unsuspecting, the first impression made by a sociopath can be endearing, yet very deceiving.
Avoidance: Because the sociopath depends on not being discovered for what he or she is truly about, they will avoid any attempt at being understood or focused upon. They have the tendency to react rather harshly if you voice your suspicions or question them, even if it involves the simplest or generic of issues.
Master manipulator: The sociopath can be quite cunning and often ruthless in obtaining what they desire. They target and prey upon the weaknesses of others. For example: They often give the impression that they are doing you a favor by helping "spend" your money.
Pathological lying: Because the sociopath has no moral compass or conscious, lying means nothing to them. Even in the most heinous of crimes committed by sociopaths, you will often hear them lament that they did nothing wrong.
Criminal behavior: Stealing is a common behavior associated with sociopaths. They have convinced themselves that the item they are stealing somehow belongs to them or as in most case scenarios, that they deserve the item. A sociopath will often convince you that those they stole from, have "too much anyway" or "don't need it".
Lack of shame or remorse: Sociopaths do not see others as human beings with feelings, but rather opportunities. Even their "family", if any, or "friends" serve a purpose. With sociopaths, the end always justifies the means, and that "means" is their arsenal of "victims", no matter how it harms those around them. In the end even the so called "friends" and "families" of the sociopath wind up as victims.
Shallow emotions/ Incapacity to love: Sociopaths have the ability to feign displays of love and affection when it serves a purpose. Emotions are merely one of the masks they don in order to fulfill their purpose. This does not mean they feel this emotion; rather it is a behavior that they have learned to mimic in order to gain the trust and confidence of others. Tragic events or situations that would bring tears to the eyes of a "normal" person appear to irritate the sociopath, as if they cannot be bothered by the hardship and pain that those around them may be experiencing.
Self Serving: It's all about them. In the eyes of a sociopath the sun rises and sets at their feet. If it doesn't matter to them, it shouldn't matter to you and they will tell you this in no uncertain terms. When involved with a sociopath, you can forget about your interests, your dreams, your goals. He or she does not care! As his or her victim, your thoughts, your energy, your time will become so enmeshed with serving his or her needs that one day you may find your identity has been completely stripped from you. Studies have shown that in spite of the absence of any physical abuse, victims who have been personally and romantically involved with a sociopath often find themselves in the bowels of a deep depression, unable to cope or function even on the most basic level.