SELFISH vs SELF-RESPONSIBLE~~DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?
MANY OF YOU ASK ME..."AM I BEING SELFISH HERE?" or "IS HE/SHE BEING SELFISH?"
IS THERE A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
SELFISH AND SELF-RESPONSIBLE??
YOU BET..........!! READ ON!!
We are being selfish when:
- We expect others to give themselves up for us.
- We make others responsible for our feelings of pain and joy.
- We get angry at others for doing what they want to do rather than doing what we want them to do.
- We consistently make own feelings, wants, needs and desires important without also considering others feelings, wants, needs and desires.
- We believe we are entitled to special treatment, such as not having to wait in line.
We are being self-responsible when:
- We take care of our own feeling, wants, desires and needs rather than expecting others to take care of us.
- We support others in doing what brings them joy, even when they are not doing what we want them to do.
- We show caring toward others for the joy it gives us rather than out of fear, obligation, or guilt.
- We have the courage to take loving action in our own behalf, even if someone gets angry with us. For example, we go to bed early because we are tired, even if our partner gets angry at us for not watching a movie with him or her.
- We have the courage to speak our truth about what we will or will not do, and what we do or do not feel, rather than give ourselves up to avoid criticism, anger or rejection.
Giving ourselves up to avoid being called selfish is not self-responsible - it is manipulative and dishonest. When we give ourselves up to avoid criticism, we are trying to control how another feels about us.
Taking loving care of ourselves, with no intent to harm another is self-responsible.
Yet we are often called "selfish" when we take care of ourselves.
It is important for each of us to define selfishness and self-responsibility for ourselves so that we are not dependent upon others' definition of us.
When you become secure in knowing that you not only have the right, but the responsibility, to support your own joy and highest good -- with no intent to harm another -- then you will not be tempted to give yourself up when someone tells you that you are selfish for not doing what he or she wants you to do.
When we are secure in knowing that our own intent is a loving one, we do not have to manipulate others into defining us as caring by giving ourselves up.
Remember one thing: the more you love and care for yourself.....the higher your spiritual vibration....the more you attract the same to you....without even asking! Now isn't that truly wonderful!! :))
ANGEL HUGS
DEBRA