HOW SOON TO HAVE SEX
Hello ladies,
This subject has come up over and over (and over) again. I feel it merits addressing. Most of the pain in male/female relationships comes from having sex too soon. Why?...Because women bond with men when they are sexual. It's a proven chemical reaction, and the connection is typically intense. Men, on the other hand, are not wired the same way. Men take longer to form an emotional bond than women. When men are allowed to channel their emotions through sex too early , they no longer feel the need to channel their emotions at all.
After a week of calls from women who've given the most intimate gift they have to give to men who aren;t as invested, I've become motivated to write this blog in order to spare another woman the same kind of pain these women have experienced. I will change their names to protect their confidentiality.
Rosemarie has been sleeping with a man who has 2 other women. She pressured him about this and he claimed he needed two months to clear out the others. She asked me if he loved her. Sadly, the answer is no. If he did, there would be no other women and he'd not be stalling for another couple of months to continue withhis other connections.He is enjoying the situation and sees no reason to change.
Laurie has been meeting a man in a hotel for THIRTY years who comes to town regularly on business. He declares his love, and promises they'll be together when he resolves his problems, which rotate like a revolving door.. She wanted to know if he loved her. The answer is no. A man who loves a woman wants to share her life and creates the path for that to happen. She lamented that he "used" her for all this time. The truth is that she was a volunteer.
Sherry has been traveling for 2 years to spend weekends with the man of her heart. He does not travel to her, ever, because he doesn't like freeway driving.This relationship has not progressed as a result. She wanted to know if he loved her and would he commit........What he is demonstrating is that his needs are being met... She's delivering sexuality to him like a pizza, which diminishes her value and thus he has no inclination whatsoever to pursue more.
Kathleen called on a Tuesday complaining she hadn't heard from her boyfriend since Friday. In talking a bit she indicated she just met him on that Friday. I had to explain this was not her boyfriend but a one-night stand. she was crushed. She also never heard from him again...
Ladies,your sexuality is the most intimate gift you can give a man. It is not a requirement for having a relationship. Love is. If the man doesn't love you. don't sleep with him. Ask yourself why you would give that particular gift to a man who does not. How do you know if he really loves you? He wants to marry you, and proves it with an engagement.Why settle for less? That's it pure and simple. Anything less is your ticket to heartache. If you have to wait a bit, then wait. He has to feel you are worth wating for. If you give yourself away casually, he will perceive you as casual.Men can and do have the abilty to separate love from sex. Women rarely do.
In taking better care of your own vulnerability, you will find that your relationships with men improve tremendously. By having a high standard for yourself you will gain his respect, sustain his interest and pave the way for lasting love...
Blessings to you all.....
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