Thoughts for the Day
These verses from Proverbs ask the question, "Who can find a virtuous woman?" The next verses and the remainder of this chapter proceed with giving a description of this incredible woman. King Lemuel's mother apparently was a good woman herself, and advised him in regard to choosing a good mate. The first thing that is established is the price of a virtuous woman, and according to verse 10, her price is far above jewels like rubies; so who can find such a valuable woman? I believe every man needs God's help to find this kind of woman. If a man prays, and asks God to send him the right mate and partner, so that they can serve God together in this life, God is delighted to answer this petition. Finding this woman happens as a man goes about doing the will of God, and she is brought into his life at the appointed time, because of God's favor on his life.
Proverbs 18:22: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Verse 11 tells us that her husband can trust her completely and he does not have to impress her with his ability to make money, so he is never tempted to take anything by dishonest gain. She is the kind of woman that loves her husband for himself, not what he can do for her. Women who marry a man for his money, or for the security he provides, are not marrying a man for the right motives, because they are looking to have their needs met, instead of looking to meeting the needs of their mate. When two people go into a marriage with the idea of loving and serving the other one, then that marriage will be blessed, because it is not based on selfishness. We know that it is the Lord's will for people to have a mate, if they desire one. In the beginning when God created Adam, God Himself made this statement:
Genesis 2:18 (KJV): "... It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him"
Genesis 2:18 (AMP): "Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helpermeet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him."
The Lord wants to bring a mate to those who will ask Him and have the patience to wait for His choice. Choosing that right person should not be based on our emotions alone, as many times our emotions need to be cleansed, as they are not the sign of love. The true definition of love is "God is love." If God is not in a relationship, it is not true love. What this world calls love is really lust since it is built on what the other person does for me, not what I can do for him or her. If the other person fails to keep up his end of the bargain, a divorce occurs because the offended mate is no longer pleased. This is the attitude of the world's so-called "love." God's love loves without receiving back; God's love is forgiving and patient. God's love is gentle and kind.
Man's emotions are not a reliable gauge upon which to establish a marriage relationship. We must know in the Spirit that it is God's will. It is much better to marry for character than for emotion. Emotions fluctuate; character doesn't. Emotions are in the soulish realm, and unless the carnal mind has been renewed, Satan can give us emotions or feelings of love for someone of his choosing. (If he did not have this in his power, he could not split up marriages.) "Falling" in love is Satan's way. The very expression of these words should tell us something. A Christian should not blindly "fall" into any trap. Love is bigger than simply falling for someone. Certainly, the Lord gives us a wonderful emotional feeling for the one we are to marry. However, this "feeling" without God's direction can be disastrous, as Satan can tamper with our emotions and feelings, too.
Marriage, in a Christian's life, should be based on a decision directed by the Holy Spirit. A Christian's love for another is a commitment. Of course, the Lord will supply the emotions for the mate He sends, but that should not be the criterion for making the decision to marry. The Lord should be sought, and whatever He speaks to us, we should do. He knows the future and what is best for us. If we trust Him, He will not fail us in this or any other important area. Women or men who allow emotions to rule them will never be victorious Christians. Emotions should always follow, never lead.
The Lord wants to bless marriage unions and see His plans fulfilled in both mates' lives. What a glorious plan He had from the beginning for both male and female. We can trust Him in this important decision. If we will totally commit to do His will, we will never be disappointed in the one He sends into our lives. A man who finds that virtuous woman will find she is a woman of character, as Proverbs 31:12 says, she will be a comfort to her husband by encouraging him and doing him good all the days of her life, as she will never leave him or divorce him.