Keen Home  | Blog Policies  | Help
Welcome to Community Sign in | Join | Help

A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

1. You have forgiven your past relationships. if you are still hurt or wounded, stay single until you have really forgiven and let go of the past.

2. You have learned from past dating relationships

3. You are independent and not scared to be alone. If you are afraid to be alone you will attract the wrong partner out of desperation and loneliness.

4. You can trust and feel safe. If you are scared of your partner cheating on you because the last one did, than you are still living in the past and should take a healing time out. Treat each relationship as a new beginning. You would not want your new partner to judge you on their past relationships so don't do it to them.

5. You are confident. you do not need to be told that you are loved and beautiful everyday by your partner in order to feel secure. You can tell yourself how beautiful you are.

6. You have your own friends and your own life. Do not make your partner your whole world.

7. You have realistic expectations of your new partner.

8. You are willing to risk being hurt. Even the best person can hurt you.

9. You are able to feel comfortable to be your real self around your partner without fearing rejection.

10. You love yourself more than you expect someone to love you. No one can heal you but you. No one can validate you but you.

11. You do not believe in fairy tales. They do not exist. Relationships are work.Be ready to give 110% of yourself to your relationship.

12. Do not expect your partner to know how you are feeling unless you tell them. Assuming that your partner will know how you feel is insanity. It will lead to misery. Always speak your truth to your partner.

13. Knowing that love is not universally defined.

14. Being clear on what you want out of your relationship.

15. Being strong enough to ask for what you want.

16. Will stand up for yourself.

There are many other things that need to be considered before entering a relationship. These are steps towards having a happy relationship that yield understanding and honest expectations.

Published Monday, June 08, 2009 12:05 PM by justaskdrdonna

Comments

Monday, June 08, 2009 1:29 PM by Barb

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Very nice post and greatly needed.
Monday, June 08, 2009 3:26 PM by Heartsong

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Good article, Donna.
Monday, June 08, 2009 5:53 PM by Paradise, The Queen of Hearts

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Thank you, Dr. Donna. You are very wise, and everyone should read your articles.
Monday, June 08, 2009 6:32 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Thank you ladies for your comments. i wanted to compile a list because so many people are having relationships before they are ready and do not understand why it is so hard to have a healthy relationship. Sometimes people feel the intensity of meeting someone new and they mistaken that feeling for being the start of an awesome relationship and are shocked when things explode. I want to ground people to see that real love comes with real issues. Also to be strong and mentally healthy so that they can weather the relationship storm.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 11:05 AM by Debskm

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Great list I need to copy and paste to some of my friends!!  LOL  I tell friends they need to give themselves at least 6 months before they start dating again. I know that is hard some times.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 2:33 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

It is necessary to take breaks in between relationships to make sure that the ex's energy is gone and no longer an influence. I know people try to move on but more than likely the new relationship will fail because it was attracted during a time when healing should of been occurring.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009 9:54 PM by a new start

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

You are so very wise, Donna.  You would make an excellent therapist :)
Thursday, June 11, 2009 2:58 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Dear breath of..... thank you for your compliment. I appreciate it very much. being a reader and a life coach has inspired me to pay attention to the callers and study psych and other topics so that I can be more of assistance. My guides give me great info also.
Saturday, July 18, 2009 8:43 AM by Hellen

# re: A Check Off List To See If You Are Ready To Be In A Relationship

Dear Donna,

I am so sad and would you like to tell me the direction for my relationship?Thank you.
Anonymous comments are disabled