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What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Unhealed wounds. So when a person in your life is hurting you it it because they are a spiritual mirror to show you what you need to heal. Most people meaning 95% of the people in our life do not set out to hurt us. Everyone has their unhealed issues. When a person lies, cheats steals, betray you,etc it is because they have their own wounds to heal. People who do not heal can self destruct at any time. If you feel singled out by someone meaning that you feel they are constantly hurting you, it means that the universe is slamming you against that concrete wall to face your wounds.

So when you feel hurt by someone, look at when did the feeling first originate. More than likely it was way before the person that you feel hurt by. Forgive that experience and learn what you need to learn from it. To spin the cycle of being hurt all the time equals stunted spiritual growth which can hinder personal happiness and success with friendships, career, family and romantic relationships. moving on is not always possible. You will keep dating the same type of man/woman until the healing has occurred.

Never have the expectation that someone will come along and love you so much to where they will never hurt you. Those are unrealistic expectations that will lead to further hurt and devastation. The people that we love the most and have the highest expectations from will hurt us the most. Especially if they are a soul mate, do expect to get hurt. It is a soul mates job to heal you not help you to cover up your wounds.

Published Friday, January 29, 2010 7:37 PM by justaskdrdonna

Comments

Saturday, May 02, 2009 7:39 AM by tbitty

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

This is Good DrD.. this resonates to me so strongly.  This is exactly the thing that I am sure most people have gone through; even myself.  I am just lucky that I could recognize it.   GREAT POST

Tina
Saturday, May 02, 2009 8:37 AM by justaskdrdonna

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Thank you tbitty. i am trying to cure callers who believe that love is suppose to feel good all the time. I remember when I figured out the truth about love. Sometimes love does hurt but it is hurting so that healing can begin.
Saturday, May 02, 2009 10:56 AM by Melanies Visions

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Hi Donna good to see your blog, A very good one. From my experience dealing with lies, half told truths, and the emotional turmoil behind it. You do have to consider the circumstances going on and what brought it out in the open. One may not have intensions to be the bad person. Learning to deal with this is the task to be open minded and forgiving~ nice post
Saturday, May 02, 2009 11:41 AM by justaskdrdonna

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Dear Heart and Soul, thank you for your wonderful comment. Yes forgiveness is crucial and nothing will get better until a person forgives.  Holding grudges causes misery, cancer, diabetes and no spiritual progress.
Saturday, May 02, 2009 8:57 PM by a new start

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Thanks D.  I really REALLY needed to read this today. I've been struggling so much and realize this whole situation is a mirror of my own wounds.  I was JUST having dinner with a friend and I was discussing this very issue. The Universe works in mysterious ways :)
Saturday, May 02, 2009 10:32 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

thanks breath of.... yes it is hard at times but in life the law of attraction is always working and so we bring in the right people at the right time to help us grow.
Monday, May 04, 2009 7:06 AM by beechnut79

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dr. D:  I often wonder when the employment community is going to realize that you can't stop the law of attraction.  Over the past couple of decades in particular this has been the case.  I recently became attracted to a lady in my now former workplace.  Seems as though she suddenly turned against me and now I no longer have a job.  Still don't know for sure if that was the reason why.  I do feel I became the victim of some inflated egos, and the situation has created a lot of unresolved tension for me.  And to top it off, the temp agency who assigned me the job is trying to keep me from  obtaining unemployment benefits, and the case is now going to litigation.  Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Monday, May 04, 2009 7:20 AM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dear beechnut, this is just a comment and venting section. it seems like you need more info. this blog is about what hurt feelings are as far as needing to heal a past issue. the person who you were involved with could of had a lot of unresovled issues and took it out on you,etc. the law of attraction is about attracting the experiences,lessons,etc that we need according to how we are feeling. some people have to clear their issues before they can make the law of attraction work for them. i say if you feel like a victim than forgive that experience so that you can have the better life that you are entitiled to. you cant change what happend to you and it sucks what happend but you can look towards the future with hope.
Monday, May 04, 2009 1:14 PM by Little White Witch

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Hurt feelings are indications that someone has not forgiven . . . and are continuing to hurt others due to their own pain.

We are responsible for our own feelings.  Own them!

Hurt???  We are are going to get hurt!!  Get over it!  Heck, I hurt today!!!  But I also, am open to the opportunities to forgive and rejoice in something EVERY DAY!

Remember who loved us soo much that he died for us!!!  And there is no way you can tell me that the crucifiction didn't hurt!!!  And what did he say????

"Forgive them . . . they know NOT what they do or done or are doing"

:)LWW
Monday, May 04, 2009 1:25 PM by justaskdrdonna

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Dear LWW, you said it perfectly. no one can hurt us but ourselves. our expectations create the hurt.
Monday, May 04, 2009 2:05 PM by Little White Witch

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I love you . . . spunky one!!!

:)LWW
Monday, May 04, 2009 2:13 PM by justaskdrdonna

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I love you too!
Monday, May 04, 2009 2:28 PM by justaskdrdonna

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predictions wont happen either until a person is ready to heal and forgive their past. having a prediction occur means that you are ready. if it does not happen it is because the universe knows that the person needs to do more work. remember we are not given anything that we are not ready for. so if it is taking forever for something to happen make sure the past is cleaned up and forgiveness has occurred. know your responsibility and do not blame. blaming is a sign of not being ready.
Monday, May 04, 2009 7:28 PM by a new start

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

So true! I am working on this rigorously and since I stopped being angry and hurt, I have felt a million times better these past 24 hrs. I have forgiven the person in question and myself for any of my wrongdoings. I feel more balanced now and at peace with myself and with him. I am so thankful for all your wise insight and I am glad I am finally able to own my role in the quality of all my relationships. I am certainly willing to look at the part I've played in creating or engaging certain situations - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I value the lessons you help us learn Dr. D! I can't say that many readers empower their clients by going beneath the surface of the typical "be unavailable, don't wait around" stuff that really doesn't get to the heart of the matter. You do.  God Bless.
Monday, May 04, 2009 8:12 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dear breath of..... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!one great part about being a keen reader is that there is an opportunity to really empower people. I do a lot of reading, meditation, energy medicine, asking my guides questions and working on myself. I know the journey is hard sometimes. but there is freedom at the end of the road.
Monday, May 04, 2009 9:23 PM by sothrowed

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

i understand but lets say (hypothetically) i have this friend and i told him i cought feelings for him and the person say they dont see me but nothin more then a friend. As soon as i hear that start feeling like i'm not good enough for him or anyone else, and this issue come along every time a person  turn me down or say something like it. how you  stop to feel like that if you dont know where it came from? How do you heal?
Tuesday, May 05, 2009 6:33 AM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dear sothrowed, think of the first time you felt rejected or not good enough. it could of been with friends, a family,etc. It does not have to start with a relationship. then forgive that experience and see how it affected your life and how you felt about yourself. then keep forgiving each negative experience. then forgive yourself for your part in the experiences. then do affirmations that give you high self esteem.this is a quick approach but it still works. people who rejected you do not mean to reject you or make you feel less than. they are just busy expressing their opinion.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 12:19 PM by Little White Witch

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

If you know the divinity within yourself, you will see that it is not REALLY a rejection, it is just a movement between light . . . you are light, he is light, so sometimes the spectrums are not right together . . . forgive yourself for not recognizing what light you saw, when attracted to someone who rejected you, move on and keep shining your own light . . .

Light brings love!  TRUST in that!

LOVE & LIGHT
:)  LWW
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 1:12 PM by justaskdrdonna

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Dear LWW. I love it! thanks for your comment!
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 6:31 PM by Little White Witch

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Yeah . . . all from the school of hard knocks!

LOL!

And being married to the Universe.

:)LWW
Sunday, May 17, 2009 6:30 PM by Little White Witch

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Funny!

I freaking lovey life!

LOL!

And my iPhone

:)LWW
Sunday, May 17, 2009 8:30 PM by justaskdrdonna

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I love being free of thinking that I can not control how I feel. I know that I can handle the people that I must deal with and fire the people who do not serve a good purpose without feeling attacked by those in my life.Everything that a person feels is unique to them, therefore, a person should never expect someone to understand their feelings.
Monday, May 18, 2009 2:55 AM by The White Light

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Fantastic and for me opportune. I have been having many conversations lately about this very subject. Indeed I have received two emails today containing a similar message. Well done girl! I have never seen it better expressed and the comments have been equally enlightening. Synchronocity in action. Thank you all.
Monday, May 18, 2009 3:02 AM by The White Light

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I love this. It is so much a part of what I am working with and sharing with others. I have never seen it better nor more clearly expressed. Well done girl. The comments are also enlightening.
Monday, May 18, 2009 5:49 AM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

I call it the ultimate freedom to own our feelings and not make anyone responsible for what we feel. Thank You  THE WHITE LIGHT for your comments.
Monday, May 18, 2009 7:07 AM by SisterOthelia

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Hi Doc,  As a Mom that gets forgotten repeatedly on my birthday and mothers day by my only son, it never fails to hurt me most that the one I give more then get back in return from, is my own grown married son.  I needed this blog today....as being angry or vengeful is pointless.  Being a Spiritual Mom means not acting like the child that forgets you....continuing to download in even grown children..... mom compassion and spirituality.
Monday, May 18, 2009 7:16 AM by Little White Witch

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

If we thought of a world that actually was like that ... A world where everone was responible for how we felt ... I think we would all crumble in guilt!  Thank god for boundaries.

Empathics feel so strongly, picking up energies ... Boundaries can be a life time to learn.

:)LWW
Monday, May 18, 2009 11:52 AM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dear LWW, your statement is so correct. I know that this blog is a hard pill for many to swallow because it is the highest form of self responsibility for one's own happiness and healing.
Monday, May 18, 2009 12:16 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Dear Sister Otheilia,thank you for your comment. It is hard as a giver to never receive. I say give less for a while and then the door opens for receiving. I think of you as being very kind and it is ok to do nothing for a while.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 12:56 PM by FlyAngel

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Love?For what?To make hurt a person who is dear for you...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 5:37 PM by Little White Witch

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FlyAngel . . . what does "love" mean for you?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 9:08 PM by justaskdrdonna

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Loving someone and being hurt is all a risk that can be worth taking. It sucks to feel hurt but a healing can take place.
Thursday, May 21, 2009 3:14 AM by SILVANA4LESS

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

What a fantastic blog, and so timely...As I part with a man that has been in my life for a long time, but I finally realized was never going to fulfil my needs.It hurts real bad, But your post provided the support I needed right now, to remind me that Its best I face the truth now while Im still able to start fresh, Rather than letting it go on any longer.. HOPE AND TIME AND YOUR BLOG SHOULD HELP ME ALONG THE WAY. Thank You DrDonna
Saturday, July 04, 2009 3:16 PM by ali

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Ive felt some comfort at last reading this page - being rejected by those we love the most provokes extreme hurt & anger in me.  I dont want to spend my whole life reacting with such hurt.  Its hard to always identify where these feelings come from in order to heal them.  Could anyone advise? And how do I let go & forgive?
Thursday, July 16, 2009 9:01 PM by Ancestor of Light

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

this is so true and it makes since
Thursday, July 23, 2009 1:55 PM by GiftedReadingsbyJulie

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Holding onto hurt is a choice we all make.  We are responsible for what we feel, not anyone else.  Those who inflict pain do so out of their own lack of love for themselves.  Knowing this and understanding that the pain we hold onto hurts ourselves more often than the other person can perhaps encourage us over a reasonable amount of time to forgive and heal. I've always felt that when we criticize or judge someone, we are really looking at the mirror at something we don't like about ourselves.  And yes, the primary wound keeps surfacing through different relationships until we address the initial wound!  
Blessings,
Julie
Thursday, July 23, 2009 2:26 PM by justaskdrdonna

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Feeling hurt is a prison in itself. I always tell callers and patients that they have the keys to the prison and can take theirselves out of prison whenever they want to. It is easy to get hurt when we wont address the source of the pain. I always say face head on and know it is tough but the pay off is freedom.
Saturday, February 06, 2010 9:14 PM by sound

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Often people hurting other individuals  with "the same pain" they have themselves. I think there are two kind of people  who are behaving this way.  One  kind is aware what he/she is doing.  The other kind is not aware of their action. As a result being in contact with such individuals  it is natural to get hurt,to feel angry.With all of that one should try not to feel as a victim. Easier to say than done.One of the way to reach this stability is to be deeply aware of your own issues and not feeling guilty about it.

Monday, March 29, 2010 4:30 PM by Wailua Wendy

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

Wow!  This topic has created a lot of discussion!

In my experience, I have come to realize that anything another person does or says to me really cannot hurt me.  Being hurt is a result of MY THINKING about what the other person said or did, not actually about the act itself.  Think about it . . . If I hold the thought that someone cutting me off on the highway is unjust and I must get back at them, I create road rage.  If the same thing happens, but I have the thought that the person who cut me off was simply not paying attention and no harm done, then I proceed with my trip in peace.  Same occurrence - different thoughts, and thus, totally different experiences.  

Another example:  I am checking out at the supermarket and the clerk is rude.  If I have the thought that the clerk has no right to be rude to me, then I am likely to say something rude back to them and feel angry.  If, however, I have the thought that "gee, she must be having a bad day" and don't take her behavior personally, then I can ignore her behavior and leave feeling peaceful and happy.  Again, same occurrence, different experiences - all  having to do with how we think.  

It gets a bit trickier in intimate relation-  ships because we tend to take everything personally or as a reflection upon ourselves, but again, check out your own thinking.  What was really said?  What did you hear thru the filter of your thoughts and expectations?  Was your loved one just venting?  Having a bad day?  If you are not sure, remove yourself and calm down so you can reflect on what happened from an emotionally balanced state so you will get a more accurate understanding. So often, we over-react to something one says or does, when if we had simply removed ourselves and calmed down, we would have seen that what happened or was said was not really that big of a deal.  

Seeing the innocence in what the other person is saying or doing helps greatly.  All of us are doing the best we know how in the moment, and sometimes the best we know isn't all that great!  So give the other person a break!  Most people really don't want to hurt us - and when loved ones say or do hurtful things it is usually because they are trying to convey something - they need to feel heard or understood.  So give them the benefit of the doubt, and talk it out calmly.

Check it out for yourself . . . I truly believe that it is NEVER the other guy!  My upsets come from my own thinking! And I can choose how I think/react to others or the situations in my life by changing my thinking. I no longer take anything personally. If an issue comes up in a relationship, I wait until all parties are calm before talking it out, and if one of us becomes upset again, I call a "time-out" to calm down and make a time to meet again to continue the discussion in a mature manner. I have learned to let go of the negatives and turn towards the positives, which helps me avoid other people's drama (and making a total fool of myself!) like water flying off a duck's back!  Have fun with this!
Monday, April 12, 2010 8:31 AM by hair2u

# re: What Hurt Feelings Really Are.............

learn to take care of your on wounds and be positive so true love cane find u
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