As an advisor on Keen, one of the most popular questions I get is, "How do I find my soulmate? Let's see how using the Law of Attraction can help.

Step 1: Forgive the Past

This is a big one for many people. I talk to so many people who wonder why they are not manifesting a good relationship. Then it comes up in their reading that they are still obsessing about a past relationship that absorbs their attention, generating disappointment, anger, resentment and other negative emotions.

You cannot be emotionally available as long as you are still living in the past. Remember the Law of Attraction will give you more of what you are focusing on. So, as hard as it is, you must let the old, broken relationships go. Wish your ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-booty-call, ex-lover, ex-(etc.) well and send him/her on their way to a better life. How do you do this?
  • Stop talking about this person
  • Stop getting psychic readings about this person
  • Stop allowing yourself to be angry at this person
  • Stop listening to others who want to talk about this person with you
  • Stop feeling victimized over how you were treated<>
  • <>Summary: Stop giving it your attention. Take your power back and stop letting this situation control you
Instead:
  • Wish that person well
  • Be thankful for the lesson they have brought you to deal with which will make you a better person - it will teach you the importance of forgiveness, if you let it.
  • See releasing this old situation taking you one step closer to attracting your Perfect Mate.
  • Summary: Ah! Isn't that soooooo much better? Phew! Let's move on...
"But I Can't Stop Thinking About it, I Can't do this, I Can't do that, I Can't - Etc."
If you find letting go of bad relationships is a problem, you are not yet ready for a new relationship. You are still dealing with your own issues of pain, rejection and anger. Focusing on these things will not allow you to bring their opposites. The Law of Attraction will not allow it. You cannot bring positive things and people in your life if you are focused only on the negative. You will only bring more of the negative.

Getting Closure
Then people talk about the need to "get closure". Getting closure is as simple as never thinking about that relationship again. Period. Block it out. Still thinking about it? Change the subject in your head. Period. Period. Period. There's your closure. You don't need anyone's permission or justification to move on. Just move on.

Step 2: Write down a list of the ideal qualities you wish for in a perfect mate

Be honest with yourself. List the ideal qualities, not what you feel you can "put up with". Keep this file private. If you type this up in a word processor like Word, you may be able to use a password protect to keep nosey people out of your business. Be creative here. The Universe likes specifics.

Use Contrast to help you find the right qualities.
Contrast is all crappy stuff you didn't like in the past relationships. Let me explain something here - you are not focusing on these or writing them down. Instead use the contrast from past relationships and switch them to their opposites and write that down. Here are some ideas:
  • Dated a cheapskate in the past? Use that as inspiration to ask for what you really want: "My Perfect Mate is generous, giving and prosperous."
  • Had a problem with a cheater? Try this one: "My Perfect Mate is loyal and loving to me. He values me and supports me in every way possible."
  • Tend to attract married and unavailable? How about, "My Perfect Mate is single, available and ready for a long-term relationship".

Step 3: Eliminate Self-sabotage

This is another big one. You may feel you are not be ready for a new relationship because of your own fears and concerns. Or you may be thinking you will not find a perfect relationship at all. In your case, try some "pre-affirmations". See if you recognize something here you can use:
  • "Please _____ (God, the Universe, Spirit, etc.) give me the strength, understanding, patience and all other qualities I need to be the Perfect Partner."
  • "I am a Child of (God, the Universe, Spirit, etc.) and manifesting Perfect Love is my Divine Birthright."
  • "I radiate harmony, love, trust and friendship to all I meet."
  • "I love my body. I am sexy, slim and attractive. I am a man-magnet."
  • "The Universe knows what I need in a Perfect Mate and is paving the way for the two of us to meet and recognize each other."

Step 4: Affirm and Visualize What You Want

Twice a day, morning and night, go over your list and recite it out loud. Feel the passion and desire as you read off the qualities you have accumulated. Feel free to add or edit the list if you think of other great qualities. Visualize yourself and your new partner at the beach having a great time. Visualize the two of you in ... uh... intimate moments.

Step 5: Allow the Universe to work its magic

The Universe needs a little time to do it's thing. You need to trust that it is on the job and working behind the scenes, regardless of how things appear on the outside. This means don't worry about how you will meet this person or what the circumstances are. That is none of your concern - it is irrelevant and just causes you to focusing something other than the manifestation itself.

The Universe will find the fastest, quickest and most direct way of bringing the two of you together. When you meet this person, there will be no doubt - for either of you.

Step 6: Express Your Gratitude

Be grateful for all the signs that the Universe is fulfilling your request for perfect love, whether it be someone at work inviting you to lunch or the pizza man flirting with you. You are drawing people to you, so take your time and wait for the right one.

Manifestations often show small signs of manifesting before they deliver the big one. Never doubt the process. Trust that it is happening and continue your affirmations. And be grateful at all signs of manifestation.

Step 7: Be Vigilant, Be Persistent

After you start seeing signs of your manifestation, after you meet this Perfect Person, be sure to keep up the affirmations. Change or update them, if you need to.
  • "All things between my Perfect Mate and myself are peaceful, compatible and harmonious"
  • "My Perfect Mate and I are the best of friends"
  • "My Perfect Mate and I express our love for each other freely and warmly"
  • "My Perfect Mate is supportive of me and helps me achieve my dreams"
The tendency is to stop once we get what we want. The problem with this is that eventually doubt and our old negative ways start to set in and we start to manifest problems in the relationship because we start distrusting our partner or the process that brought him/her to us. 

You can usually tell when you haven't been vigilant with your affirmations. Problems or blockages will show up in your relationship. The Universe only delivers problematic situations when you have started to focus on the negative or start worrying about what can happen. So don't wait to see the problems turn up. Keep up your affirmations. Create a strong bond between yourself and your partner by visualizing it first.

I've seen truly amazing things come from the power of thought.  Replace doubt with faith and persistence. Master this and you have tapped into your own Divine Power.

I hope this has been helpful to you. Be sure to check out my other love blogs!

Love & Light,

Kittenit
1-800-ASK-KEEN
ext. LOVE or 5683