I talk to a lot of customers who tell me they want to get married and settle down, but they just aren't finding the right person. After talking to them, I often find that they are either not ready for the right relationship or they are "waiting" for the right person to come along. Does this describe you? Let's have a think about this.

How to Tell If You are Not Ready

Ok. Let's do a quick visualization. Visualize yourself finding that perfect person. Close your eyes and see yourself with your perfect mate... on your wedding day. Imagine yourself in your dream wedding dress. Visualize all the fanfare and fru-fru. See your family and friends (even the ones you don't like) all watching you, smiling and crying tears of joy (or envy!). Now let's take this visualization further. The wedding music is playing.  You see your groom in the tuxedo. Now see yourself saying, "I do!" You are about to be married for the rest of your life.

How are you feeling right now? Are you experiencing stress? Are you worried? Are you panicking? What problems are you having with this visualization, if any? When you are having this visualization, are you finding your heart rate is doubling for the wrong reasons? Are you having an anxiety attack? If you answered yes to any of these reasons, you may have a problem with commitment. By doing this visualization, you are bringing deep-seated negative feelings to the surface. You are flushing out the fears, worries and insecuries that are preventing you from meeting the perfect person and finding your way to the alter with them. You are getting your mind around what has been sabotaging your love life.

The Good News

The good news is, if you repeat this visualization, it actually helps you get past the block you may be having. When you visualize yourself doing the thing you want to see happen, you train your subconscious to accept this as a reality. Your subconscious worries, thoughts and fears start to fade and are replaced with more comfortable feelings.

The  Secret of Winners

This visualization process is not a new technique. It is something that has been used in top businesses and professional sports for years. Even better news - you can use this technique in your relationships as well. Visualize yourself in a long-term, committed relationship. Are you panicking? Better do the visualization again. Your subconscious may be freaking out. Continue to do this visualization until you actually "feel better" about the images you are seeing. Direct your emotions and find a way to be joyous at your own wedding.

How Long is This Going to Take?

According to hypnotists and others educated in the human mind works, it takes about 28-30 days to change a habit that has been embedded in the subscious. Personally, I think that time depends on the person. However, what is important to remember if you slip back and have another bout of anxiety, time to visualize again. Persistence is the key.

The Next Issue Part II :  Are You Waiting For Prince Charming?

In my next blog, I will talk about how to tell if you are waiting for Mr. Right to just show up.

About Kittenit

I am a clairvoyant , tarot reader, life coach and writer. I've been giving advice on Keen for over 4 years.

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