What is the feeling of being in love - air flowing through my heart
A long time ago when I was 19 years old (it feels like another life), I got married. I talked myself into believing I was in love just to escape a very controlling mother. I remember my wedding. I knew then I was making a mistake. I was in a daze. Nothing felt real to me. On our honeymoon I was in shock. Food tasted like straw to me. The shock affected my taste buds. The only food I wanted (believe it or not) was applesauce (something I later found out my mother fed to me as a baby). I wanted my mother. The marriage (of course) didn't work, and I wound up divorced and living an hour and a half from my family at the age of 21. FREEDOM, something I never knew existed.
I met my first love within a few months of that time. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was in love. I was too afraid to say the words out loud. I had been taught by my mom that my feelings weren't real. After my marriage, I didn't trust myself with my emotions and feelings. It was a real struggle for me to open up to my first love and say "I love you". I never did say those words I love you out loud to him. The relationship ended quite suddenly, and I was devistated. For years, I was shut down emotionally, because I never allowed myself to feel being in love.
In my late 40's I met a man and fell head over heals in love with him. How did it happen? Well, I got a copy of Marianne Williamson's book "Illuminada". There was a prayer in there for feeling love. I repeated the prayer everyday for a few weeks. Well, it hit me hard. I was in love. I can describe it as AIR FLOWING THROUGH MY HEART. I loved the feeling of saying it, and I said it all the time. For the first time in my life, I felt ALIVE. He and I were as different as night and day, and eventually it ended. However, now I know the feeling of being in love.
AIR FLOWING THROUGH MY HEART
Please share what the feeling of being in love feels like to you. Ad your comment.