Where do I go from here?
I was talking with a friend not long ago who brought up a subject many of us may be faced with. Life changes, and approaching different phases of our lives. This comes in many forms; sometimes it's in the form of a divorce; sometimes it's when our children leave the nest; and sometimes it has to do with siimply entering a new phase of our lives which comes with that dreaded word.........aging, which is what my friend was faced with.
She is nearing the age of 60, not in a relationship, and her children have developed happy, productive lives. Even though her life is full with work and her friends and family, she is wondering how she really fits into her own life. This question came to her mind during a get together with family and friends, most of whom were younger than she. In sitting back and observing them, she realized she could clearly remember when she was where they now were. She felt to old to "join in" because she had already been there, done that, yet she doesn't know where to go from here. It seems that the solution would simply be to spend time with friends her own age, but they are either married or in relationships, or worse yet, have resigned themselves to the fact that "I'm too old for that" mentality. And the latter group is the one she is trying to avoid - where the phrase she hears so many times is "at our age.....bla, bla, bla" .
I had no clear answer for my friend, but it give me a lot to think about. I have come to the conclusion that it isn't just her age bracket, that would be too simple. I feel that we are faced witih the same dilema as we enter our 20's and realize that we are no longer those carefree teenagers; when we are in our 30's and caught up in the creation of our lives; and when we are in our 40's and thinking we finally have the answers. Approaching middle age, the 50's, is when we realize that we didn't have a clue, but now that I have all this wisdom, what do I do with it....where do I go from here?
I guess the answer to my friends question is that life does seem to hit us in segments, and it seems these segments come at 10 year intervals, each segment being a step forward. I would love to say that we should embrace each interval with the wisdom we gained from the past segment. I would love to say that this is a time in our lives when we can re-invent ourselves and do and be whatever we want. I would love to say that this is a time to pass on the wisdom we have attained to the younger generations. But when, as my friend is doing, in the wee hours just before dawn we find ourselves alone, it doesn't help much. Whether it's her particular situation, entering a new segment of our lives, or facing the end of a relationship, we ask ourselves the same question.........where do I really go from here?