Alphafemale 2000 - Solara

Who I am.

I am a daughter,
A mother,
A friend,
An enemy,
A lover,
A hater,
A temptress,
A prude,
A pacifist,
An antagonizer,
A mediator,
A fighter,
A rule maker,
A rule breaker,
A follower,
A leader,
A comedian,
A sour puss,
A rebel,
A loud mouth,
A listener with no voice,
A teacher,
A student,
A pain in the ass,
A pleasure to have around,
A bullshitter,
A no-holds-barred truth teller,
A soother of souls,
A club where no whiners are allowed,
A soothsayer,
A Witch,
A Catholic,
A Christian,
A Pagan,
A sinner, and,
A saint.

The question is not which of these I am.

The question is which of these am I to you.

posted Friday, April 08, 2011 7:02 PM by Alphafemale | 1 Comments

Are YOU Empathic or Clairsentient? All those emotions, all those mood swings...

It is my belief that Empathic skills and Clairsentience are the most prevalent psychic gifts in our society.  It is also my belief that these two gifts are the ones that most often go unidentified by the people who have them and even by other psychics (psychics normally recognize the energy of another psychic).  I often wonder how many people who have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety disorders are actually Empaths or Clairsentients.
*** VERY interesting side note here: It is my belief that many unidentified (or even identified) Empaths & Clairsentients also have addictive behaviors like food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc.  This, I believe, is because the addictive behavior is an outlet for the emotions these unidentified gifted people have but can't deal with--so they find another outlet for it and the addiction momentarily allows them to ignore what they don't understand and don't like feeling.

The most obvious sign of being a Clairsentient is when you are emotionally attached to someone, you can "feel" them, even at a distance.  Even if you and the other person are at odds with one another, or maybe even ended your association with one another, you will still continue to feel them and feel a connection to them.  In times when the person you are connected to may be going through emotional highs or lows, you will still feel them. 
The best way I can describe it is: thoughts of that person will suddenly come to you, out of the blue.  It will come to you as a sudden onslaught that you can't get rid of, even though part of you may want to.  Unless you take steps to sever the spiritual/energetic "tie" you have to this person, such occurrences will continue without warning.  They can continue for years.

Clairsentience and Empathic skills are closely related but differ slightly. 
The most obvious sign of being an Empath is when you are around other people, you take on the feelings of the people around you.  If you are in a good mood and go around someone who is sad, you will suddenly, inexplicably, become sad yourself.  People unconsciously seek out Empaths.  
If you are someone people find it very easy to talk to (ie: "dump on"), you have Empathic traits.  If you find yourself wanting to "fix" everyone else, but ignore your own needs, this too, is the sign of an Empath.  If it's easy to figure out other people's emotions but you largely ignore your own feelings, this is another sign of an Empath.  
Empaths are naturally sensitive emotionally.  They take on the emotions of people around them. 
Empaths also have difficulty expressing their emotions to other people.  They largely keep what they feel to themselves.  They are the "sacrificial lambs."  A lot of times, when in relationships, Empaths will be the one's who sacrifice, get used, abused, or enable the co-dependent. 

Here are the traits of an Empath.  See if any of these sound familiar to you.  If they do, I recommend researching how to control the skill:
* Random mood swings even though you have no idea why.  You search for possible reasons why you may be feeling the way you do and attach labels that don't really fit.
* In crowds, your emotions run high and change often--you get anxiety-ridden, panicky, frustrated, angry.  You may want to be in a large crowd, but every time you do, you end up feeling tired (and it's because you emotionally run a marathon of different emotions).
* People seek you out to confide in you
* People like being around you, but every time they are, they end up talking about their problems/issues and yet, your problems/issues are rarely spoken of, if at all.
* You have a need to make everyone feel better/feel happier and take steps to make it happen
* You somehow just "know" what people need to hear in order to feel better about themselves
* You have difficulty expressing your own emotions and much prefer to focus on someone else
* You often ignore people's bad treatment of you--explaining it away because they need you, and on some level, that's enough for you.  
* You are the natural healer, helper & you always sacrifice for others.  You NEED to help people.
* You are a magnet/receptacle for negative energy.  Not because you started out feeling negative, but because others need a place to put their negative energy (and there you were, ready to receive it!).
* You don't like feeling bad/down/negative/sad, but you feel resigned & believe it to be part of your lot in life
* You are the natural animal lover!  You love animals--they make you feel happy and a love that feels like pure innocence.
* You are a "nature baby."  Being in the country, by the water, at the beach, a good rain storm, etc.--anything to do with nature brings you a sense of peace that you just crave.  

Here are the traits of a Clairsentient (Clair-sen-tee-ent):
* You are highly sensitive to your surroundings.  They cause swings in your emotions.
* When you go some place where large crowds are, you often get headaches, feel nauseous, or have other physical reactions
* If you go to places where violence, illness or extreme sadness has happened, again, your mood swings violently in direct proportion to what has occurred.  You will also probably get throbbing headaches.
* You have an almost unreasonable desire to avoid going near or into places like hospitals, cemeteries, prisons, jails.  You may even become a bit panicky if you have to go near them.
* You can "feel" the presence of spirits, but you don't understand what you're feeling nor do the spirits present themselves to you--you can just feel something "odd" when you are in a place where a spirit might be. (this is b/c you don't have the gift of Mediumship which would allow you to see/speak with the spirit, but you can feel the energy of the spirit)
* You touch other people's belongings and your emotions begin to inexplicably change
* You go to other people's homes and your emotions begin to inexplicably change.  You may even attribute it to not liking the people, but have no definitive reason why you don't like them, you just don't!
* You think of someone who is not around you, and you inexplicably know how they are feeling
* You think of someone who is not around you, and you inexplicably know something good or something bad is going to happen to them (this is knowing how that person will feel in the future, but if you do not have the gift of clairvoyance, you will not know what the event will be, you will just know how they are going to feel about it)
* You have the weird talent of "distance healing."  (and probably don't know it, lol).  You talk to someone over the phone and they feel better whereas you feel worse.  Or, you think of someone at a distance and begin to feel worse.  You later talk to this person and find out they were thinking of you and felt better afterward.  
* You can feel other people's pain, even the location of the pain on their body.  Sometimes you will take on that feeling within your own body (and it freaks you out, lol). 

Most of what you've just read doesn't sound overly positive, does it?  Now do you see why the gifts of Clairsentience and Empathic skills are a gift and a curse?  These two gifts actually can be very positive, if recognized and channeled properly. 
Also, after reading what you have, one can see where some people who have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or have panic attacks could have been misdiagnosed.  I am not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I suggesting you stop taking your medication if you are on any.  What I am suggesting is that you do some research, because you may just find there's not anything "wrong" with you other than that you were given a gift that no one ever told you that you had.  You also may find yourself on a new path--one of peace and happiness.  

We are the healers of the world.  Society needs us.  The gifts given to us were given for a greater purpose than our own personal lives.  It is not often "fair" that we have these gifts.  It isn't even "fun," for the most part, unless you can come to an understanding of your purpose and be at peace with it.  You were chosen.  It's that simple.

Once realized, the gifts seem to cause you to start a path for the "greater good."  Again, it doesn't seem fair.  However, if you have these gifts and refuse to acknowledge them, your life will continue to be riddled with sadness, depression, loss, and negativity--where you always seem to end up "the loser."  So if you recognize yourself in either of the descriptions above, I implore you to seek knowledge on how to control your gift so you can live a life of peace and happiness rather than upset and loneliness.
God be with you,
Sol

posted Tuesday, January 04, 2011 6:00 PM by Alphafemale | 28 Comments
Filed Under: Tips For Life, Are You Empathic or Clairsentient? Check Here!

Strive!

Strive to be the type of woman who, when you wake up in the morning, the Devil screams, "Oh Crap! She's UP!"

posted Monday, December 06, 2010 1:06 AM by Alphafemale | 0 Comments

How you can practically GUARANTEE a good reading for yourself:

 
For those of you who have been left unfulfilled, dissatisfied, frustrated, angry, and/or partially broke by readings, the information that follows will hopefully shed some light and help you get a better reading in the future--regardless of which advisor you choose to call! :)
I always want people to hang up with me (after a reading) feeling they got the information they needed and got the most they could for their money--especially in this economy!  It bothers me when the call is disconnected and I KNOW that it was what I would call a “bad reading.”  To me, a bad reading is when I didn’t get to give someone the information that ends up helping them make better decisions for their lives.  

This blog entry addresses factors involved in getting a “good reading” and how to ensure that you actually GET a “good reading.”  This isn’t so much for the people who have had several readings with me and now know all of the info that follows.  It’s more for the people who are newer to Keen, who do not know me, haven’t called me before, or have only called me for two to five minutes.  In recent months, I’ve seen a trend of new clients calling for readings but they are basically spending money for nothing  (because of the factors below) and walking away (hanging up) angry and frustrated.  Well guess what?  ME TOO!
Sadly enough, I think the recent trend is a result of the hard economic times.  I also think the recent trend has to do with people just not knowing any better, so they’ve taken a fast-food-mentality toward a psychic reading that doesn’t fulfill them.  

You might be thinking the advisor is the one who controls whether it was a bad reading or not.  Actually, this is not completely true.  Many factors play a part in whether or not someone is getting a good reading:

1. The advisor you call has to be “real.”
**By "real" I mean someone who is actually psychic and/or really good at reading Tarot.  
**Read the advisor’s page before you call--what kind of a psychic are they or what kind do they claim to be?  Someone who says they are telepathic but can’t read your mind--they probably aren’t telepathic.  Someone who claims a bunch of psychic skills but needs you to tell them your life’s story before they can tell you anything, well, they probably aren’t all they claim to be.  Someone who reads tarot but you never hear any cards being shuffled or (horrors) they lay one spread and can tell you the answer to ALL your questions regarding career, love, and health….probably not a great Tarot reader.  (The BEST Tarot reader I’ve ever met--she doesn’t even BELIEVE in Tarot, she makes her own cards and just thinks it’s fun.  You ask a question, she does a spread, and she tells you what she got--she doesn’t need additional info, nor a life history, nor does she really care about the outcome.  She gets what she gets.  She’s hilarious, she’s accurate and she’s awesome!)
**A pretty webpage is nice, but what does the info on the page say?  Read it!  You’d be surprised to learn (or maybe you wouldn’t) how many people see a pretty page and just hit the “call now!“ button without knowing what kind of psychic the person is or what the advisor’s page says they can/cannot do.  I know I get calls all the time asking me about timing and then the client says “is that days/months/weeks” and I then have to spend their money to tell them what is on my page for FREE!--that I don’t know what the number means, I only get the number and the numbers work.  
** Good or bad feedback is nice, but be careful about judging an advisor strictly off happy or not-so-happy feedback.  Look for patterns in the feedback.   I’d look at the advisor’s feedback and I’d be looking for specific things.  For instance, “great job” or “so glad I called, I feel so much better,” or “didn’t connect” or “completely off”--I bypass those types of feedback on someone’s page because they are what I call “emotional feedback.” --it doesn’t tell me whether the advisor actually gave predictions that came true or not.  And, being an advisor myself, I know that people get mad at me, or what I told them, and will leave untrue feedback just because they were angry.  Not only that, but just last week, I had ONE client who left feedback for ME that she later emailed me and said she made a mistake, that that feedback was supposed to be for a different advisor (and no, Keen doesn‘t remove the “oops, it was a mistake“ feedback).  So saying: feedback in and of itself isn’t a good reason to call or not call an advisor--it’s more than that.
    I look for feedback that says, “you were right, X did happen” or “update!-2 months ago, this advisor said X and X happened” (I LOVE seeing the “update” feedback), or “I may not have liked what X-advisor said, but they were right & I needed to hear it” or if it‘s negative, I look for “way, WAY off.  Said the man was married when I know he‘s not“ or “completely wrong!  Said I was lesbian. I‘m not“ or “told me 2 months ago that I would receive a job offer from Company X. They told me they weren‘t interested.”  This kind of feedback is what I call “logical feedback” and I know, because it’s specific, that it is probably TRUE feedback.  That kind of feedback actually lets me know whether the advisor is “real” or not.  
So look for patterns in the advisor’s feedback, but look for specifics and patterns and be able to weed out the emotional feedback from the true feedback.  

***I also believe you as a client oftentimes KNOW, before you ever place the call, whether the advisor is real or just giving you the “feel good” response.  For example, I get a lot of newer clients who say, “I didn’t want to call you because I was scared” (or something similar).  Although I don’t like hearing I scare a client, I DO like knowing they called me because they know I was real and because it lets me know that regardless of the information the Angels may have for them--they really want to hear it.  SO!  YOUR own intuition is really a good guide as to whether you should call an advisor or not.  You just have to listen to it.  

2. Did you actually think about what you wanted to know before you picked up the phone?
** People waste sooooo much money this way!
** You’d be surprised to find out how many people call and haven’t got a clue as to the questions they want to ask.  Or, they ask questions, but it’s not really what they want to know and they either don’t know how to ask the right question or they are gun-shy about giving to much info so they won’t ask more than a passing generic question.
I’m psychic.  Yes.  Telepathic? No.  A telepath can read your thoughts.  I cannot.  I am a messenger.  I ask the Angels questions, they give me answers based upon the questions I ask.  If you and I don’t figure out the best way to ask a question, we aren’t going to be getting you the best answer.  Experience has taught me, just as God has a sense of humor, so do the Angels.  You ask them a generic question, you’re gonna get a generic answer.  You ask them what THEY want you to know, it is oftentimes not what YOU thought you needed to know.  
MY advice--take a few minutes before you call an advisor and jot down questions you have to ask the Angels.  The information you get from the prepared questions may lead to you to have MORE questions, but at least you have a good idea of what you want to know before you start spending money! And you’ll be a much happier camper when you get off the phone, regardless of how much or how little time you spent on the phone.
(feel free to look at the blog entry after this one which tells you a good question from a bad question and why the question is good or bad).

3.  Your emotions play a factor in your reading.  
**You should never call an advisor when you are really angry, really upset, or really frustrated.  You don’t think clearly.  You don’t ask the questions that get you information you can use and regardless of what information I give you, you’re really not “open” to hearing it.  Short of me telling you that everything is beautiful and absolutely wonderful stuff is coming to you, you‘re not going to want to hear it.
* As a side note here, I have often wondered if, when people are in an extreme emotional state, they call a new advisor just to hear something negative so they can be even more upset and try to take it out on someone.  I only wonder this because it happens so often…but then that “the glass is half full” part of me thinks maybe they just had some really bad experiences and they just don’t know how to ask the questions they should be asking to get the info they want?  I don’t know.  But I wonder.  
** Now, having said the aforementioned, I’ve had a repeat client call me when they were upset, but they soon calm down and the reading begins.  To me, this is fine.  But to call an advisor you’ve never spoken to before when you’re upset?  Just sooo not a good idea.  

4.  “Fundage”--How much time are you spending, or do you have to spend, on your reading.  
** If you only have money to speak for three minutes, this is NOT the time to ask a generic question or to ask a “bad” question.  You’re limited on funds.  You want information.  Ask what you need to know.  If you don’t trust the advisor because you’ve never spoken with them before, calling them to “wow you” with their abilities when you only have money for 3 minutes and no specific question-not a good idea.  
**If you’re limited on funds, call the advisor you trust.  If they aren’t available, don’t troll for someone else and play “test the psychic” with a generic question. You just cheated yourself and the advisor who you called.  Like me, there are a lot of advisors who are not just about the money and it is upsetting to us to know we didn’t help someone but we have no way of reaching you after the call is disconnected to actually do you some good. 
**I work very well with 3 minutes or less when there is a specific question and the person calling isn’t playing “test the psychic.”   A specific question isn’t hard to ask the Angels and get your answer.  You just may not like the info you got, and with such limited time, there isn’t more time to ask what the Angels meant by what They told you (through me).  So be aware of this, and don’t hold it against me because I didn’t lay out a day-to-day plan for the next year for you in a minute or less. 

** Depending upon the information I want to know, if I were calling an advisor I’d never called before, and I wanted to “test” their abilities, I’d have my questions prepared before the call and then I’d leave a seven minute window for them to give me the information I was seeking.  To me, this is a decent amount of time for you to relax, for the advisor you don’t know to relax, and to not feel “rushed” into getting everything out.  
** It’s very disconcerting to answer the phone, hear someone say, “I want to know how Joe feels about me” and then hear the “ONE MINUTE REMAINING” cut in directly thereafter.  One: that wasn’t a good question, and, two: you’re pretty much letting me know that you didn’t take the reading seriously when you dialed the phone and, three: you’re probably going to be upset with the “lack of information” you got during your call.
** If you DO only have one minute and you have a specific question--by all means, I’m more than happy to ask the Angels your question and try to quickly get the answer out to you, all in that one minute!
Sooooo…..see why I said the quality of the reading is more in your hands than the advisor’s? lol.
I think a good reading, depending upon the type of psychic you are dealing with, is a team effort.  Your attitude toward the advisor matters, the questions you ask matter, the info the advisor gives you matters, the openness between you and the advisor matters.  It’s a give and take process.  Unfortunately, the process begins with, and is largely dependent upon, YOU.

ADDITIONAL TIPS TO GET A GOOD READING:
1. DON’T be afraid to tell your advisor, “this is what I want to know, what’s the best way to ask it?”  If a client isn’t sure how to ask a question, but knows what they want to know, I’d prefer they ask me.  It ends up saving them money (because then we don’t have to go back and ask the questions a different way just for you to get the info you wanted in the first place!).  It also saves the client (and me) frustration in not understanding the messages they get--because they asked a question that really had very little to do with what they actually wanted to know.

2.  Once you’ve asked your question--be quiet.  Let me do my job, lol.  Some clients will ask the question, but then keep talking while I’m trying to ask the Angels the question they wanted to know.  I want to save you money by being as fast as I can, and as detailed as I can but I admit--I don’t concentrate well, and I forget what the Angels said if I’m listening to both you and them, lol.

3.  When your call first starts, do NOT be afraid to say, “hey, I’m dealing with limited funds here” or “I only have 4 minutes.”  That lets me know that we need to get to the meat of it quickly and it lets me know that if you ask me a generic question, I need to say something to reroute you to a more specific question so we can get the info you want in the short amount of time you have. 
** And no, I don’t find this offensive.  Besides, trust me (and the many clients I’ve read for)--the Angels aren’t afraid of hurting YOUR feelings with the info they give, so don’t be afraid to be blunt with ME!

4. Be careful about letting the information you receive make you do something that will end up harming your job and/or your relationship.  *Some people get so upset when they hear info they don't like that they start obsessing about it (which creates the energy for the negative situation to get worse--see blog entry on "Energy"),
* or people panic and take some action out of that sheer panic (ie: your bf is talking to another girl, nothing is going to come of it, but you're freaked out, so now you start calling him all the time to make SURE he still cares about you. Yea, this actually happens),
* OR you're told it would not be in your best interests to do something, but you do it anyway, because you're upset--and whatever action you just took irrevocably changes your job or relationship (and yea, I've seen this happen too!).

Hope this has been helpful!
Sol
P.s.:  The blog on good/bad questions will directly follow this one.  Gimme a few minutes to proofread and upload it :)

posted Wednesday, August 25, 2010 3:43 PM by Alphafemale | 2 Comments
Filed Under: What to know BEFORE you get a reading, How to Guarantee a Good Reading!

*FAIR WARNING!* MERCURY RETROGRADE STARTING FRIDAY THE 20th!!!!

posted Thursday, August 19, 2010 3:04 PM by Alphafemale | 16 Comments
Filed Under: Auntie's Astrology Tidbits, Mercury Retrograde Updates!

Growing Up Psychic

Psychic gifts run in my family.  I was around 10 when my mom realized I'd say something was going to happen and then it would.  When she asked how I knew, I'd tell her "the Angels told me" or I'd say "the Angels showed me."  She then told me that although I was "one of the lucky ones," I couldn't tell people what I saw or heard, lol.  She said people just wouldn't understand.  She was right (as always, darn it!!).

As the years passed, my mom worked with me to develop my "gifts."  This also means that she watched me more closely (every kid's fondest wish, right??).  Why did she watch me more closely?  Because different gifts manifest in different ways, she once told me, and they can be dangerous.  She was right there, too.
People with psychic gifts also give off more energy.  The stronger the gift, the more energy they give off.  Liken it to a beacon of light in the dark.  Spirits are drawn to that beacon of light.  They draw energy from the light.  The stronger the light, the more spirits that are drawn to it--both good and evil spirits.  If one has a habit of talking to dead people, one never knows if that spirit is a good spirit or an evil spirit.  An evil spirit can mask themselves as a good one and then stick around in your life to wreak havoc!  Unfortunately, I've had some bad experiences with this sort of thing, which is why I always caution people about "poking at the dead."  It took me a couple of years to get rid of the last evil one I initially mistook for a loved one who had passed.  During those years, I had a lot of problems and trouble in life that took a while to clean up.  So although I have the ability to speak to those who have passed, because of the negative experiences I've had, I choose not to poke at the dead anymore. 
** Mediums who have the hootzpa to talk to the deceased have my admiration.  It is truly a skill to be able to talk to them and not let them affect one's life.  Unfortunately, my experiences prior to knowing the dangers have caused such a fear in me that I can't put away that fear and focus enough to maintain control in that area so I just avoid it. 
** I have often wondered how many people who are in institutions are really plagued by spirits who won't go away.  (the spirits feed off the energy.  If the spirit can create negative situations for a person, they can stick around and feed off that person's negative energy/emotions indefinitely.  The more negative the energy, the more there is to feed off of).

In my late teens, I realized people would speak to me about someone and I could then feel the person spoken of and how they were feeling.  If the person spoken of was physically ill or sad or angry, I'd just suggest that the person I was speaking to might want to call them, without telling them the whole reason.
I also realized that I could be in a perfectly good mood, go around someone who was sad, angry, upset or hurt, and my mood, and sometimes my physical well being, would change drastically after I got away from them.  Not only that, I realized that the person I'd been around would walk away from me in a good mood or feeling healthier!  (Hardly seems fair, right?)  When I eventually told my mom about this, she explained this was also a "gift." (yeah, right!!!)  Well, actually, if one learns how to control it, it is a gift.  Of all of the gifts I was given (and I say that tongue-in-cheek), I believe this was the most difficult to learn to control.  Even now, if I'm not vigilant and I allow myself to relax to much, I will absorb other people's energy or illnesses just by being around them or talking to them.

On a side note:  It is my belief that Empathic skills and Clairsentience are the most prevalent psychic gifts in our society.  I also believe that there are a lot of Empaths & Clairsentients out there who do not even realize it.  Many people who have severe mood swings, depression, and anxiety believe the normal medical diagnosis and pop a pill (or just go untreated).  It is my belief that a good percentage of the aforementioned people are actually Empathic or Clairsentients who never came into contact with someone who identified them as such and therefore got no help!  Those poor people are just running through life sucking up other people's bad energy, thinking it's their own, and never knowing any better!

Some years ago, I went to a talk given by a very famous psychic (who shall remain nameless since I do not actually believe she is that gifted, she's just good at marketing).  I actually got to speak with her privately.  Initially, even she tried to tell me that it wasn't possible for me to be all of the above.  She said "you have one or the other, not all, dear."  When I proved to her that I actually did have all, she didn't comment, nor did I ask her why she didn't comment.  I just assumed it shocked her since that had been my experience with other Clairvoyants.  She did, however, ask me a few questions about some future events she had going on....lol. 

Of the people I have met or spoken to in the psychic world, I am told it is abnormal to run into a person such as myself--one who is Empathic and has the 3 Clairs (voyant, audient, sentient). I have found this to be true.  Almost everyone I have ever met or sought out (in the psychic world) has one gift or the other and a few had two of the gifts but not all four.  I was actually blessed to meet a woman about ten years ago who has all four.  I say "blessed" because she taught me valuable lessons.  It was also very reassuring to finally meet someone like me.  Although she was older than me by about 20 years, it was interesting--her trials, tribulations, tests in life, and grief she had experienced as a result of being such an abnormality closely resembled mine.  She also helped me to understand I could make peace with the fact that I had been "chosen" and that I am a walking, talking tool for other people, or I could fight it and just be miserable.  Well, I am a fighter, but more importantly in this instance--I do know when to give in gracefully and search for the silver lining. 

The first time I gave a real reading, I was 15.  My mom had a friend who wanted a reading.  Thereafter, I began doing readings for family and friends on a regular basis. 
When I was 19, I made the mistake of telling my boss at work about an illness she needed to have checked.  She went to the doctor and confirmed what I'd told her.  Afterward, she thought it was "fun" to tell everyone else what I could do.  Suddenly, my work breaks were filled with people who would walk up and say "read me! read me!"--like I was some freak to play with who had no feelings.  People can be so unwittingly cruel.
My manager also told another manager about me and called me into her office to give him a reading (my manager thought it was funny to see people's shocked expressions when the people realized what I was).  I will never, as long as I live, forget the look of utter horror on that other manager's face as he literally jumped away from me and screamed, "you're a hoodoo'er!!!"  He wouldn't come near me after that.  In fact, if he saw me coming, he'd walk away or go another direction rather than walk by me.  But it didn't matter--I was "let go" about two weeks later (even though I'd just received a performance raise a month prior).  That taught me a valuable lesson.  

Throughout my twenties, I continued to read for people in person, but only upon referral from family or close friends.  It always made me nervous because if people at my "day job" were to find out, I'd be out on my butt so fast it wouldn't even be funny.  However, I needed to be able to help people, so I continued to do readings in secret, even though it was a huge risk to my livelihood. 
In my thirties, I found Keen!  I thought to myself--what an awesome idea!! I could feed my deep-seeded need to help people and keep my anonymity! For me, it was  a win-win situation, so here I've been since 2001!

Now, lastly, because I get asked this so much, I'll share what it means to be someone like me:  
If you make the mistake of telling people you don't know very well about your abilities, the reactions range from the disbelief of "prove it to me," to becoming the side show freak because the person you told wants to show you off as their new toy to their other friends.  Then, sometimes, people just step back from you (sometimes literally).  Your friends and family call on you all the time to get readings.  Other friends will become careful in what they say to you just because they know you know what's going to happen but they don't want to know--and they don't like that you know.  You can have a husband (or wife), but it is difficult, to say the least.  No one has secrets from you.  No one gets to lie to you.  And if they DO lie to you, you have to pretend it's not a lie.  You also constantly feel compelled to help other people.  You can't help yourself--even though there is a huge personal cost.  You cannot be selfish.  Your life is not your own, to a large degree. You live in protection mode all of the time.  I find that going to the beach and communing with nature helps. 

You essentially live a solitary life.  You aren't "normal," nor will you ever be.  And you have to learn to be okay with that.  You may wish to go to large gatherings, but you find yourself shying away from them. You can be around other people, but you will never truly be a part of the crowd.  Even though it's unspoken, you always stand out.  And that's not even because they know you're someone like me.  It' because your energy--your aura--makes people uncomfortable because, even though it may just be unconscious, they "know" what you are.  My mom is extreeeeeeeemely clairvoyant.  She is also very scary.  I don't say that just because she's my mom, I say that because I've seen how people act around her and react to her.  She's this tiny lil Betty-Homemaker-looking thing and yet people either give her a wide berth or are almost-nauseatingly kind to her.  Very few people can actually look her in the eye for any length of time, either.  It's nothing she does or says.  She's one of the kindest people I've ever known.  I'm convinced it's the strength of her energy & aura and other people's auras recognize power, whether their conscious mind does so or not.
 
Depending upon your mindset, it's a difficult road.  If you can be at peace with the gifts that you were given, accept them, and know that your purpose is more to help others than yourself, it's a good life.

If you believe that YOU may be one of the unidentified Empaths or Clairsentients that I spoke of earlier, click HERE for the Article that details all of the traits of an Empath or Clairsentient!

May you have every happiness in the world,
Solara 

posted Friday, July 23, 2010 6:16 PM by Alphafemale | 0 Comments
Filed Under: GROWING UP PSYCHIC

In or Out--Just Close The Door, Please!!

SPECIAL NOTE: I am not saying any of the aforementioned to rouse you into some sort of sudden action, to rouse you into walking away from your current relationship or the relationship that you might be in or want to be in.  I did say the aforementioned so you would do some thinking--about how you could be holding yourself up from happiness, or how you could be putting someone else's needs before your own.  This was just some info to marinate on--NOT to go off half-cocked and take any un-thought-out action on :)

posted Saturday, July 17, 2010 6:21 PM by Alphafemale | 6 Comments
Filed Under: Food For Thought On Relationships, The Art of Letting Go, Men who never commit

Rules For Relationships

What I have learned through personal experience, reading for others and watching family & friends:  

posted Saturday, July 17, 2010 4:00 PM by Alphafemale | 29 Comments
Filed Under: Food For Thought On Relationships, Tips For Life, Rules for Relationships!

"I Know what I want to know, I just don't know how to ask"

Good Questions versus Bad Questions:

IS there such a thing as a “good question” or a “bad question” when you contact a psychic.  Yes!

Believe it or not, many people call knowing they want answers about a particular situation (job or relationship is most prevalent), but they haven't a clue, beyond that, how to ask what they want to know.  If you’re dealing with limited funds, this normally doesn’t bode well for the reading.  
SO!  In an effort to help you get the most from your reading, here are some examples of good questions and bad questions. 
NOTE: In all of the examples that follow, I’m going to use the name “Joe”, but the name just represents your boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, wife, husband, someone you’re just interested in or the person you are just starting a relationship with.
At the end of the “Bad Questions” examples are some examples that you might be able to use that WILL gain you the information you are seeking.

Bad Question #1: "I want to know about Joe." 
After this question, there's dead air on the line. 
Okayyyyy...............Here's where the trouble starts.  Clock is ticking!  Time is money!! What does the person want to know about Joe?  They've already started spending money and their time and yet, they're stuck. 
I think many people are leery of giving too much information and just having it fed back to them by the advisor they called.  I agree with you.  I don’t want to hear a rundown of what’s going on, nor do I need a history of what’s happened. If you did that then I told you something, how would you know whether I was just giving you my opinion or not or just telling you what you wanted to hear or not?  However, I can tell you that if I ask the Angels this generic question, you’re probably going to get a lot of info about Joe and his life that you really didn’t care about since you wanted to know about YOU and Joe…

Bad Question #2: "I want to know how Joe thinks/feels about me"
a.  Regardless of whether Joe really cares about you or not, on any given day, Joe’s thoughts/feelings about you could fluctuate (as do yours) based upon what’s going on in his life or what’s going on between the two of you.
    Here's why I say this and let's use YOU as an example: 
You just had a really crappy day at work.  You don't feel like being bothered with ANYone.  You just want to go home, take a long soak in the tub, maybe have a glass of Chianti, and hope tomorrow is better.    Now.  You receive a phone call from Joe, and he hears your bad mood in your tone of voice and you tell him you've had a really crappy day.  He says he wants to talk about your relationship. 
So.  Is this the best time to ask YOU how you feel about Joe and your future and what your thoughts of him are?  Probably not.  The mood you're in, Joe would be lucky to GET any info out of you that didn't start with "f-off, I'm not in the mood!" 
But is that representative of your true feelings for him and what kind of relationship you want with him in the future?  Definitely not.  You are just really in a bad mood and not thinking of him right now. 

**This is the same thing that happens when I ask the Angels Joe's thoughts/feelings.  If Joe is in a crappy mood, or you two have just had a fight/misunderstanding (or any number of different scenarios), well, Joe's current feelings are probably not that positive. are not going to be on you and how great he thinks you are!  BUT, does that have ANYthing to do with you and Joe in the future?  Nope.  Not a thing.  So why spend money asking a question that provides information that is only good for that day, if even that long, unless, you're just wanting to gauge where his mind's at toward you on that particular day? 

Now, I actually like this question IF (Big “IF” here) I’m just using it as a “guide” as to where Joe’s mind is at about me for that day.  However, if you’re trying to use that question to make any kind of decisions about what’s going to be happening with the two of you, or what you should do with the relationship, no, NOT a good question. 
** P.S. here: I’ve actually had people ask me this question and then say, “well fine. I guess it’s over with us!  I’ll just move on then!”  (…….hmmmm……huh?!?!?) And then they hang up on me!  Ok. Several problems here: 1. I never got to tell them any of the aforementioned. 2. You’re actually, SERIOUSLY, going to end a relationship based on THAT?!? 3. That childish attitude is not going to win you any contests , 4. You just wasted your money and got upset for nothing. 

Bad question #3:  What are Joe’s intentions toward me?
A.  My intentions  are to win the lottery.  The real question is: will that actually happen??
B.  If you’re fighting with Joe, Joe’s intentions are probably to stay the hell away from you for a while (but that doesn’t MEAN that the relationship doesn’t move forward--that’s a different question).
C. If the relationship is relatively new, Joe probably doesn’t have any intentions to speak of as of yet.
D. Who cares what Joe’s intentions are?  We want to know what he’s actually going to do, right?

Bad Question #4:  How does Joe perceive me?
A.  what the heck does that mean, exactly??  Are you trying to ask Joe’s thoughts/feelings about you in a different way? (if so, see info above for Bad Question #2).

Bad Question #5: “Are there any other women/men around Joe?”
a. Uh, yeah.  There will always be men/women around your love interest.  Who cares?  Is that really what you wanted to know? No.  What you really wanted to know is whether Joe is interested in/looking for/seeing someone else.  So why didn’t you ask the other question? 
b. And….if you don’t really want the answer, aren’t prepared for the truth, or you think the answer would change how you act/react to Joe and possibly change the future between you and Joe for the worse--DON’T ASK! (sometimes, too much information is just too much information!)

Bad Question #6: “I want to know about my job”
a. What do you want to know about your job?  Why are you spending money asking ambiguous questions that don’t gain you information?  I can ask, “Angels, what does he/she need to know about their job?”  But, I can tell you, what the Angels think you need to know may not be what YOU think you need to know……..so, we’re back to “the question you ask, has to do with the information you get”--
b.  Don’t bother asking this generic question unless you have money to spend asking MORE questions about what is really bothering you about your job and unless you have more money to spend asking questions about the information the Angels thought it was important for you to know about your job.

Bad Question #7: “What should I do about X, Y, Z?”
a.  the Angels don’t tell you what to do, they tell you what’s coming, so that you can make better choices
b. Take responsibility.  In asking this question, you are really looking for someone else to blame just in case things go badly.
c.  Personally, I’ll be more than happy to tell you my personal opinion.  But I’m pretty sure you aren’t paying for my personal opinion, because you can probably get that for free somewhere else.  And to me, when an advisor tells you what to do--you’re just paying for their opinion.

GOOD Questions to ask about your relationships:
1.  What is actually going to be happening with Joe and I for the next X-amount of months, weeks, days?
-this tells you what future actions you will be taking, that you may or may not be aware of now
-this tells you what future actions Joe is going to be taking toward you, so you know whether you’re happy with the direction he’s going or not
- this tells you how to plan for your future
- this tells you whether changes in need to be made or not
*** Another way to ask this is “___ months from now, what is the relationship between Joe and I?”

2.  What actions will I see Joe take toward me over the course of the next month?
- this tells you whether or not Joe is even going to be DOING anything over the next month
- this tells you how to plan for the future
- this tells you whether changes need to be made or not (by you--the one who controls your life and your happiness)

3. Rather than ask, “what kind of guy/gal is Joe?”  Ask: “what do Joe’s friends/family think of Joe?”  or “How would Joe’s friends/family describe him?”
- Believe it or not, this is a really great question!  You’re getting information about Joe, from people Joe knows, has known for a long time, that he doesn’t put on a show for, and their opinions tell you if he/she is the kind of person you want in your life!
- you can also vary this question if you’re trying to find out about Joe’s job, Joe’s social life, the women/men around Joe, etc.  (see, very cool question!)
- you can also vary this question by asking what one person in particular, in Joe’s life, thinks of him, a certain situation, his relationship, his activities, etc. (rather than just asking what the people in his life think of him, but I like asking the collective “family”, “friends” question because I get different views of him, or I get to see if a bunch of different people see a pattern in him--like do a lot of people see that Joe is giving or selfish?  Do  a lot of people consider him honest or untruthful?  Do a lot of people consider him reliable or untrustworthy?  If I were just to ask about what one person thought of Joe, I only get that one person’s perception of him so I don’t know if he’s like that with everyone in general, or just toward that person.  Make sense?

4. Joe’s thoughts /feelings about me?
- this is ONLY, ONLY, ONLY a good question if you use it to your advantage and take it with a grain of salt because the thoughts/feelings change from day to day.
- this question is ONLY, ONLY, ONLY designed to help you for the short term--like, what kind of mood is Joe in today?  How’s he feeling about what just happened between us? (without actually coming right out and asking the advisor how he’s feeling about the event that happened)
- this question is one that changes over time, or should change over time.  Again, it’s a very dicey question because Joe’s mood on any given day can effect the answer you get. 
    ** For instance, if you’ve been dating Joe for a year, and you’ve been calling your advisor on a weekly basis to ask his feelings/thoughts, and yet you never get any kind of depth to the answer, it’s probably time to ask a different question or do some re-evaluating about your relationship. (Personally, I’d ask more questions and different questions, but that’s just me). 
- Personally, if I were to ask this question, the information I got on it would only give me food for thought, it wouldn’t really cause a huge emotional reaction for me nor would it cause me to take/not take any action in my relationship with Joe.  I really only like this question if something has happened between Joe and I recently and I want to see where his mind is at regarding what just happened.  Make sense? 

5.  If you absolutely MUST know about your competition for Joe’s affections, some good questions to ask:
a. “Are there any women/men who believe they are dating Joe?” (this tells you if there are other women/men around Joe and what that person’s mindset about Joe is.  If the answer is “yes”, it will lead you to the question, “What does Joe think his relationship is with that person who thinks they are dating him?”  Then you’ve found out some things about Joe and his love life outside of you, if there is one. 
b. “What is Joe’s mindset about dating anyone other than me?”  Although this is a dicey question, it tells you his MINDSET and NOT his THOUGHTS on dating others--there is a distinct difference.  And if the answer happens to be that Joe is “open” to dating others, this really means nothing, it just tells you where his head is at for the moment.  In fact, my next question would probably be, “ok, so he’s open to it, does he actually end up going out with/dating anyone else in the next year?”
*** Some people are just naturally flirtatious and will ALWAYS have women/men around them that are nothing to them and will never BE anything to them.  However, if you ask if there are women/men in Joe’s life and an advisor tells you that he flirts with this one or that one--that is NOT a reason to think there is trouble between you and Joe!  Nor is it a reason to create bad energy toward that flirtation becoming anything more than just flirtation.
c. “Six months from now, other than me, are there any women/men who believe they are dating Joe?”
* this is a good question because you are getting to see how things have progressed between the two of you AND you’re getting to see where Joe’s head is at, six months from now, regarding the seriousness of his relationship with you!

6. Rather than ask what you should do, ask “what do I actually do, and what effect does it have” or, “is it in my best interests, for what I want to accomplish, to do X, Y, or Z?”
- with the first question, realize that the Angels know what YOU are going to do, just as they know what Joe is going to do.  So knowing what you’ll do ahead of time is actually a very good thing--because knowing it before you do it gives you the option to change it, if you want to, now that you know.
- with the second question, the Angels can tell you  whether or not you’re actually going to do what you have said you plan to do and, again, what the result is.

GOOD QUESTIONS FOR THE JOB FRONT:
I’d ask
a. Will I be promoted? Why or why not?
b. How will I feel about my job six months from now?
c. What changes, if any, are going to occur for me at my job?
d.  Any warnings for me regarding my job?
e. Will I be receiving any job offers this year?  (and the second part of that question--do I take those job offers?)
f. Do I change jobs this year? 
g. How do I feel six months after taking this new job?
h. my boss, what does he think of my overall job performance?
**There are any number of questions you can ask about jobs/current job/future jobs, that gain you info you can use but just saying “tell me about my job”…..won’t really help you.

ADDITIONAL TIPS TO GET A GOOD READING:
1. DON’T be afraid to tell your advisor, “this is what I want to know, what’s the best way to ask it?”  If a client isn’t sure how to ask a question, but knows what they want to know, I’d prefer they ask me.  It ends up saving them money (because then we don’t have to go back and ask the questions a different way just for you to get the info you wanted in the first place!).  It also saves the client (and me) frustration in not understanding the messages they get--because they asked a question that really had very little to do with what they actually wanted to know.

2.  Once you’ve asked your question--be quiet.  Let me do my job, lol.  Some clients will ask the question, but then keep talking while I’m trying to ask the Angels the question they wanted to know.  I want to save you money by being as fast as I can, and as detailed as I can but I admit--I don’t concentrate well, and I forget what the Angels said if I’m listening to both you and them, lol.

3.  When your call first starts, do NOT be afraid to say, “hey, I’m dealing with limited funds here” or “I only have 4 minutes.”  That lets me know that we need to get to the meat of it quickly and it lets me know that if you ask me a generic question, I need to say something to reroute you to a more specific question so we can get the info you want in the short amount of time you have. 
** And no, I don’t find this offensive.  Besides, trust me (and the many clients I’ve read for)--the Angels aren’t afraid of hurting YOUR feelings with the info they give, so don’t be afraid to be blunt with ME!

4. Be careful about letting the information you receive make you do something that will end up harming your job and/or your relationship.  *Some people get so upset when they hear info they don't like that they start obsessing about it (which creates the energy for the negative situation to get worse--see blog entry on "Energy"),
* or people panic and take some action out of that sheer panic (ie: your bf is talking to another girl, nothing is going to come of it, but you're freaked out, so now you start calling him all the time to make SURE he still cares about you. Yea, this actually happens),
* OR you're told it would not be in your best interests to do something, but you do it anyway, because you're upset--and whatever action you just took irrevocably changes your job or relationship (and yea, I've seen this happen too!). 

Hope this has helped and please feel free to email me with any questions!
Sol

posted Saturday, July 10, 2010 2:43 PM by Alphafemale | 1 Comments
Filed Under: How to Guarantee a Good Reading!, How to Ask Questions to Get the Best Answers

Are YOU working to hard??

Your biggest desire in life is to be in a committed relationship and get married.  
You have a pattern of meeting a man and putting all of your focus and energy on him.  You don’t even know the man that well.  You don’t know his habits (good OR bad).  You don’t know his family.  You probably haven’t met any of his friends.  There is also some kind of inequality as to where you spend time with him--either you go to his house, or he goes to yours, but you do not "trade off" by going to each others' houses.  You don’t even know him well enough to know if he’s a “good guy” or not.  

Now, even though you’ve only known this man a short time, and don’t know a whole lot about him, the one thing you do know is “I want this man!”  And you begin to work (and it is work) to make a committed relationship with him a reality; regardless of whether it is in your best interests to do so or not.  

When I say “work,” what I mean is:
1. You make sure you’re available whenever he calls/texts, at whatever time he calls or texts.
2. You make sure you’re available to see him when HE wants to see you, even if you had previous plans or obligations.  
3. You take the “burden” off of him by traveling to meet him, rather than making him travel to meet you.  
4. You offer to pay for at least half of whatever you and he may do together that costs money (you tell yourself “it’s only fair!”)
5. You try to pamper him--with massages, offering to do things for him, etc.
6. When he doesn’t call/text when he said he would, you begin to make excuses for him
7. When he doesn’t show up for plans he made with you (and doesn't call to let you know), you forgive him easily and agree to see him the very next time he wants to see you.  

Just being guilty of one or two of the aforementioned is not a good sign.  If you are guilty of doing at least half of these things in an attempt to try to hold on to a man, you may be addicted to love for the SAKE of love, rather than the man himself.  And, you are definitely working too hard!

Warning signs of impending work:
Early on in your association with him, you find yourself:
* pushing to discuss the topics of past relationships (his and yours),
* wanting to know “where this relationship is going"
* wanting to know if he is seeing anyone other than you
* suggesting that you and he spend time together
* worrying excessively over whether he likes you or not
* worrying excessively over when he’s going to call/text you again
* worrying (at all) over whether or not he’s seeing someone else

All of the aforementioned are warning signs that you are more worried about snagging A man--any man--than you are about making sure this particular man is the right one for you.  And if you see yourself in any of the warning signs, rest assured, there will come a time in your association with this man that you will be doing the majority of the work in the relationship. 

You should also know--aside from working too hard to get a commitment that most likely will never come, this relationship will be riddled with problems, pain, and a cost to your mental and emotional health that cannot be measured. 
It is very sad, but it is just the way it is--relationships where women do the majority of work rarely end up with a "happily ever after" attached to them. 

Now, I did not say any of the above to make you feel bad, but I AM saying these things so you think about the relationship you are beginning.  I want you to have the best, healthiest, happiest relationship possible.  And I want that happy, healthy relationship to last for you. 

The stronger you begin a relationship, the better the foundation of that relationship.  Take your time, stay in balance in your own life outside of the man, allow nature to take it's own course (yes, I know nature takes longer than you want it to), and enjoy the friendship, love, passion, and peace you were meant to have from a man. 

Wishing You ALL the Happiness You Deserve,
Sol

posted Saturday, July 03, 2010 3:40 PM by Alphafemale | 2 Comments
Filed Under: Food For Thought On Relationships, Men who never commit

The Yin & The Yang of Relationships, Explained.

Are you a Female-Male or a Female-Female?  Believe it or not, you DO need to know which one you are and yes, both exist!  Whichever category you fit into, that’s cool.  Just stop confusing the men, please.  They don’t like it when you can’t figure out who you are and where you stand.  Why?  Because then they don’t know what their job is and the result is misunderstandings, arguments, hurt feelings & broken relationships.  So recognize which group you fit into and move forward in your relationships accordingly.  

Now here is something interesting:  just as there are Female-Males, there are Male-Females.  And just as there are Female-Females, there are Male-Males.  And no, a Female-Male is not some butch-mannish woman, just as a Male-Female is not some effeminate girly-man. 

Now, you’re probably wondering what the heck I’m talking about when I say Female-Male and Female-Female.  In order to explain the aforementioned, I first I have to explain something else:  In this world there is always a balance, right?  To the light, there is a dark.  To the day, there is a night.  To the winter, there is a summer.  To the west, there is an east.  I could go on, but you get the point.
 
The opposites are necessary to ensure balance. The Chinese call this Yin-Yang.  Yin is female/feminine energy. Yang is male/masculine energy.  Everything in this world is either “Yin” or “Yang” and the two opposing forces support one another and exert mutual control over one another.  The Yin-Yang, working together, actually CREATE the balance that must exist in order for there to be peace & harmony.  Make sense?  Good.  

SO!  If we put this in the context of relationships, in order for a relationship to work, there must be a feminine energy and there must be a masculine energy. 
If a feminine energy and a masculine energy find one another, the result is a happy, loving, peaceful, harmonious relationship.  It doesn’t matter if this Yin-Yang relationship is between a biological male & a biological female, a female & another female or a male & another male.  In order for it to be successful, there must, must, MUST be a Yin and a Yang.  That is one of the Universal Laws!  

Now, here is where we run into problems.  If you do not know if you are the Yin energy or the Yang energy, you are going to have a string of unhappy, chaotic relationships that never seem to work out and you can’t figure out why.  

In present times, there are a lot of women who are trying to be both the Yin energy and the Yang energy in a relationship.  No offense, but if you are the Yin and the Yang, you already have a balanced relationship, you're just having it with yourself.  There’s no need for a man.  And if you want to be both the Yin and the Yang, I advise you to stop looking for a relationship and just find peace within yourself about it, because finding a relationship that will actually work will be nearly impossible.  Why?  Because if you‘re doing the job of both the Yin and the Yang, there‘s nothing left for the man to do.  And we all know a man needs a job, God love him!  It doesn‘t matter whether that job is to be the Yin or the Yang, he just needs something to do or he becomes very confused and grouchy.

Now, back to Female-Males (FM) and Female-Females (FF).  Both FMs and FFs are biological females, make no mistake.  No, they don’t have different physical parts--there’s not a third breast, for instance, on the FM.  All the “girl parts” are the same.  The difference is mental and emotional.  

Female-Males are different in relationships than Female-Females.  FMs are the aggressors in relationships.  They seek out the male, they make the phone calls, they suggest dates.  When time is spent with their man, the FMs have no problem traveling to get to the man and time is spent with the man at HIS house, rather than at the woman‘s.  In short: they take physical control over the relationship.  Control is typically thought to be a “male” thing.  

In regards to Female-Females (FF) in a relationship, they are more physically passive in relationships.  The man comes to them.  The man calls them.  The man suggests the dates, and the FF decides whether she wants to accept.   The FF is content in allowing the man to make all the moves.  Interestingly enough, FF’s are in control, but it is not a blatant physical show of control, it is just understood that she is the deciding vote of what happens, and when it happens, in a relationship.  
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being either the FM or the FF.  Both are equal players in a relationship.  Both can be (and usually are) very feminine creatures!  The problem comes when a woman tries to be both FM and FF and then expects her man to know which one she is on which day.  You can’t be both, it’s just not possible, as I noted above.  

When a woman tries to be the FM & the FF, here is the result:
she makes aggressive moves--making phone calls/texts, suggesting dates, etc.  The man comes to expect this behavior from her and adjusts his actions accordingly.  Then, mid-stream, the FM, who has been aggressive, gets frustrated, because the man isn’t doing the work of “a man.”  So the FM decides she’ll switch to being the passive FF and wait for the man to be the aggressor.  But she didn’t tell the man she was doing this--she somehow thought he’d “just know.” (good luck with that one-let me know how that works out for you).  Hurt feelings develop on the side of the woman when the man doesn’t do what she “non-verbally” told him to do.  The man doesn’t get it.  Mis-communications. Arguments. Weakening of the relationship.  Ugly things happen.

The cool thing is, once you figure out if you are the Yin or the Yang, and you stick with it, you’ll start drawing in the MEN who are one or the other as well!  And yes, hetero men come in three flavors, ladies!--The Male-Male, The Male-Female, and the one who is trying to be both the Yin & the Yang.  I highly recommend staying away from the one who is trying to be both and doesn’t know which energy he is.  Why?  Because THAT man will confuse the crap out of you because HE is confused!

Another problem that women run into regarding the Yin-Yang in relationships: if the woman is actually an FM but she becomes interested in a man who is a Male-Male--a power struggle results. Both try to wrestle control from the other.  While this is sometimes a very sexually exciting relationship, it’s not a relationship that can last for the long haul, because there will always be strife due to the struggle for the position of top dog.  When these two end their relationship, this is where ugly, messy, horrid divorces come from--where each tries to hurt the other (still trying to get that position of top dog).

Then, on the opposite side of the spectrum, is the woman who is a Female-Female energy that becomes interested in a man who is actually a Male-Female energy.  The woman will always be disappointed because that man will never be the aggressor that she wants (and needs) him to be! It's just not in him to be the aggressor. 
The relationship may end up being a great friendship and emotionally nurturing (as friendships are), but it will lack the luster of a true partnership, if that makes sense and will eventually become unfulfilling to both parties. 
When these two types end their relationship with one another, they likely ended their relationship because "it just wasn't working" and they will most likely still remain friends. 
***However, this type of relationship can also last forever, with each sacrificing their true happiness because of the love of friendship and respect for their partner. 

Now, the most successful relationships I’ve seen are where the woman is a Female-Male and the man is a Male-Female, believe it or not.  In my personal opinion, men LIKE when a woman takes control but still allows that man to keep his manhood and feel like a man.  If you hear a man say, “my wife makes all of those kinds of decisions” or “my wife controls that”--you’re probably looking at a Female-Male and a Male-Female relationship.  And that’s cool, because it works for them!

Also, let me point out--this Yin-Yang concept is not just for hetero women. It is for anyone who is in a relationship or who wants to be in a relationship.  For instance, if you know of any gay/lesbian couples who are very happy--one of the people in that couple have the “male energy” and one has the “female energy” and they both work together, in balance, to create a great relationship.  

In essence, the most important thing you can do to ensure you have/find a great relationship is to figure out if you are the male energy or the female energy, stick with that and act accordingly.  The second most important thing is that you have to recognize if the man you are interested in is compatible with YOUR energy--be it Yin or Yang--and if he’s not, you have to be willing to walk away with the understanding that it wouldn’t have worked.  And that is okay--it’s not a personal reflection on you nor is it your “failure.”    

Ok, because this is such a large subject that takes so much explanation if it’s going to help you at all, I’m going to make it into a “series” of posts to go further into explaining this concept of Yin & Yang in relationships. 

posted Saturday, July 03, 2010 1:17 PM by Alphafemale | 0 Comments
Filed Under: Food For Thought On Relationships, The Yin & Yang of Relationships

Motivational Posters-too funny

Both funny & true!:

posted Wednesday, May 19, 2010 8:20 PM by Alphafemale | 2 Comments

How I read & How the Reading Helps YOU!

First of all, in case you didn't read it elsewhere, I am Clairvoyant, Clairaudient, Clairsentient & Empathic. 

What this means is that I can see pictures.  I can hear the Angels give me information about the past, present and the future.  I can feel future events & emotions attached to those events, and I can feel how another person is feeling at present time and/or how they feel about different events/people.  I can also feel how you and/or another will feel in the future.

My role during the reading could be summed up in one word:  middleman.  The readings I give could be likened to a three-party conversation.  I get asked a question by the client, I ask the question of the Angels, the Angels answer me, and I relay the answer back to the client.  

Once Keen connects us, I ask the client their name and what they want to know.  If they want to know about another person, I ask that person's name and that person's month & day of birth.  I do not need the month/day of birth of the client--I have your energy because I’m on the phone with you.    
** I am not doing Astrology. If I was, I'd need your birth info, as well. I am making sure we are talking about the right person.  If someone calls me wanting to know about "John" and they know three or four different people named "John," I want to make sure I'm asking about the right person!  If the client doesn't know the person's birthday they are asking about, I ask for the other person's age.  I like the birthday better, because a client can know two guys named John who are the same age, where it is highly doubtful both have the same month & day of birth.  However, either birthdate or age is good. I just feel more comfortable with the month & day of birth.  I actually don’t think the Angels need either one, lol.  It’s probably just my human “crutch” when I ask, but it‘s how I‘ve always done things, and as I said, I‘m comfortable that way.

***I prefer not, not, not to be given any background information or any explanation about the client‘s relationship to the person they are asking about.  In not receiving any information from the client, they can know that the information they receive from the reading is genuine, and not just me spitting back info they have already given me.

If a client has questions about their job, I’ll ask if they have a specific question or what it is they want to know.  The reason?  What the client thinks is important to know versus what the Angels may think it’s important to know often differ.  It’s the client’s time/money, so I want to make sure they get whatever help they feel they need.  Do I have a problem asking a generic question about someone’s job?  Heck no!  But clients are often left unfulfilled by the answer the Angels give because it‘s not what the client originally had in mind.  

As soon as the client asks their question, I throw up a wall and block the client.  This is because I’m focusing on whatever I’m given from the Angels.  Regardless of what question the client asks about another person, the Angels normally start out by giving some details about the person in question or the situation going on between the client and the person being asked about.  I’ve never asked the Angels why They do this but I assume it’s so the client knows there is a connection.  (I don’t actually know the real reason, because I've never asked Them nor have They volunteered why They do that, so I just made an assumption.).

If a client wants a general reading, I’m more than happy to do them.  To me, they’re kinda fun!  But there are some problems with doing general readings:
a.) a client normally calls with a particular subject in mind
b.) a client normally calls with only a certain amount of money to spend & general readings take longer
c.) if I ask the Angels what They think is important for the client to know (which is what I do for general readings), it is probably different from what the client wants to know
d.) whether a client admits it or not, 9 times out of 10, when they call asking for a general reading, what they are really asking is “I have a particular subject in mind.  Read my mind and tell me about it!”  (although you could probably think of an argument as to why the Angels should go ahead and read your mind and tell you what you want to know, there is no argument.  The Angels are not your toy nor will They allow you to play games with Them. Period.)

Based upon whatever answers are initially given regarding the question asked, the client can ask whatever else they want, if they feel they did not get enough information.  If they don’t know what to ask but they want more information, I’ll help the client come up with questions to ask.  Besides, I’m nosey & enquiring minds want to know!  
Remember--anytime I read for someone, it’s like I'm turning on the TV in the middle of a good soap opera and going, “what happened? What happened?!?!”  The only way I get information is if you give it to me or if the Angels give it to me.

The answers a client receives:  will be in words, pictures, feelings.  I will then relay these words, pictures, & feelings to the client.  
* If the Angels give me words to say, or a group of words to say, I repeat the words verbatim (most times I have no clue what the Angels are talking about, but miraculously, the client knows exactly what the Angels are talking about, lol)
* If the Angels give me a picture, I’ll describe the picture, as detailed as I can, including any colors I get, directions an item or person is facing, etc.  Mainly, because I do not know what is relevant and what’s not, so I try to get it all just in case the smallest detail makes a difference.
* I’ll also describe any feelings I receive.  Sometimes, the Angels will say part of a sentence and then give me feelings to fill in the rest of the words in a sentence.  Why They do this?  I haven’t a clue, nor have I ever asked.
* The Angels also have a habit of giving me words I don’t know the meaning of and giving me words I’ve never heard of.  When this happens, a client will hear me stumble over pronouncing the word.  This is because I will hear the word, and I normally get a picture of the word spelled out (so I can spell it if I have to), but I’m unfamiliar with the word, so I have difficulty saying it.  Why do They do this?  Personally, I think it’s to make me look stupid.  But I can tell you one thing: if the Angels give me a word I don’t know, 100% of the time--that word is dead on accurate and has to do with the situation.  Why it works like that, I have no clue.  But I have to admit, it’s kinda cool and I never get over being amazed by Them.
***** the Angels will say what They say and sometimes, nothing more.  Also, there are times when the Angels just will not speak on a subject.  It’s rare, but it happens.  Although this is frustrating to the person who wants an answer, I don’t pressure the Angels to answer whatever it is They refuse to answer.  If the Angels want to give it, They will.  If They do not, They won’t.  I’m sure They have their reasons.  Again, I don’t question it.  

The Fallibility Portion of the Program:
Along with the words that I get, I get feelings and will describe the feelings I get by saying, “it feels like….”.  I will also tell the client, “this is my interpretation….”
I caution clients: the words the Angels say--take them to the bank, they will always have meaning, whether you and/or I understand that meaning at the time or not.  To me, the words I am given are the Infallibility portion of the reading.  However, I get feelings and I interpret information and my feelings and/or interpretations are most definitely fallible, so my readings are not 100% accurate because I’m human and fallible.  

So!  That is the way I read, regardless of whether the reading is one minute long or one hour long.


I implore the clients to take notes from the beginning.  Heck, tape me if you want to, I don't care.  I often get going in a reading and then have a client go, “okay, so what did they say about five minutes ago about A, B, & C?”  My answer is, “huh??  I don’t remember saying anything about A, B, or C….”  And I don't!   I caution people that I have a tendency to forget what I say after I say it.  Why?  I don’t know, I just do.  I can surmise on why I forget, but I’ll answer that question in my Q & A section later.

The reading is very much a give-and-take.  Because I am the “middle-man,” I normally end up asking a question where I have no information about the situation I am asking the Angels about.  Then, when I receive an answer, again, I’m only passing on information, so again, I have no idea what I’m talking about.  I’ll often ask the client, “does this make sense to you?”  I do that to get confirmation that they get what they are being told, and that it resonates with them, so that I can move on with the reading.  If a client doesn’t understand what they are being told, I need to find out why.

The only other thing I’d like to address is timing.  
You can ask me for timing, but I only get the number, I do not get to know what it means.  If you ask me when you will get contact, and I get a 7, that 7 could mean 7pm, 6:07pm, 7 minutes, 7 hours, the 7th, the 17th, the 27, 7 days from now, the 7th month (July)….basically, the number is involved with when the event will happen, but I won’t get to know what the exact meaning is.  The people who are told I only get the number and do not know what it means but try to push it by saying "well what do you FEEL it means?"....I can tell you now--it doesn't help. 

Now, How are these readings beneficial to you?
* The information given is meant to be a guide, nothing more.  The Angels are here to help you live the best life possible--the happiest life possible.  They are also here to help your soul progress with it’s mission.  They love to help!
*The answers They give in any situation are meant to give you more information so that you can make the best decisions for yourself.  The Angels will not make the decisions for you.
* They are not here to run your life.  That is against Free Will.  They will not violate the law regarding Free Will.  They did not make it, and They are held to it, just as we humans are.  
* They guide with the information They give.  They do want the best for you and will do for you whatever is within Their power to do to see that you live a happy life, as long as it does not violate the Laws They are held to (Free Will being one of these Laws).
* Many people ask me to ask the Angels what they (the client) should do.  The Angels will not tell you what to do.  Again, this is against Free Will.  
*  The Angels will also not render an opinion about someone.  They really don't have an opinion about people.  They are not judges.  Here’s an example question that I get asked, “Can I trust Joe?”  The Angels won’t answer that question.  That’s an opinion question.  I can ask “Does Joe’s mom, dad, cousin, mother’s-cousin’s-son’s-brother believe he’s trustworthy?” and I'll get an answer--because I'm pulling the opinion from a person who knows Joe.  But the Angels won’t render their own opinion.

Examples of what the Angels tell people:
* The present feelings/thoughts of another individual
* The future feelings/thoughts of another individual
* The future actions (or lack thereof) of another individual
* Future events that are coming, such as job offers, and whether you will accept said offer or not
* How your behavior/actions effect what is happening in your life, now and in the future
* Future actions you will take, and how those actions will effect you, another person, your job, or any other situation
* Warnings regarding negative situations (so you can avoid said situation if you'd like)
* Blockages in your life & spiritual development.  These are not the Angels opinions.  These are facts.  The Angels will speak on these issues and bring them to your notice so that if you are ready, you can learn and progress. 

These are just a few examples of all of the cool stuff They can tell you. 

I hope this information has helped you to decide if my gifts, and the Angels who speak through me, will be of help to you or not
Happy Day to You!
Sol

posted Friday, April 23, 2010 2:38 PM by Alphafemale | 0 Comments
Filed Under: What to know BEFORE you get a reading, GROWING UP PSYCHIC

Predictions...and God's Sense Of Humor

These are JUST my thoughts on "predictions" that I hope may help you in some way.

Do I give people predictions on what is going to occur in their lives? Yes.  Am I always correct? No.  I am only the messenger (as many of you have heard me say--many, many times).  I don't always interpret what is said or shown to me correctly.  Sometimes, I have difficulty in hearing what is said.  However, an important factor that I try to drill into people is that THEY are in control.  But, you know, it doesn't matter how many times I tell someone that they control their future...I don't think they believe me. 

posted Saturday, March 27, 2010 5:00 PM by Alphafemale | 7 Comments
Filed Under: Tips For Life, Info on Predictions!

AFFIRMATIONS & EMPOWERING MANTRAS

   
These are just a few examples of Affirmations & Mantras--you can make up an affirmation about any subject and will see positive results happen from them if you are diligent in saying them. If you'd like help making up some Affirmations or Mantras for your personal situation, please feel free to email me, let me know what subject you want them on, and as time permits, I'll be happy to send you some just for you! :)
Hope you found this helpful,

posted Saturday, March 06, 2010 7:18 PM by Alphafemale | 6 Comments
Filed Under: Tips For Life, AFFIRMATIONS & MANTRAS