Spirituality 101

Tragedy That Is Too Close to Home...

   The tragedy of Flight 3407 is very close to where I live in the Western New York area.  The media coverage in this area has been constant.  Loved ones from the flight are gathered in an area close to the tragedy.

   A tragedy such as this makes you wonder how short life can be.  Many of my beautiful have called ensuring my safety and welfare.  Yes, I am fine.  The tragedy occurred 30 miles north of me.  A tradegy such as this makes you realize just how precious life can be.  One minute you are sitting in your home taking life for granted and the next minute you could be dead.  Sometimes we need reminders that life is precious especially when it does hit so close to home...

A Changed Heart

   It will be a year ago Sunday, September 14th that I received a call no one wants to receive.  I would have never imagined it.  It is the call I didn't expect but once I received it, it changed the life I know now forever...it was the call to tell me the woman I felt was like a sister to me died. 

   Some of you may think, 'Well she is a psychic medium, isn't easier for her to get over her being dead?'...no it isn't!  If there is anything I have learned through this year, it makes it harder.  Let me explain why.  Although I am very psychic, death still impacts the human side of me.  I still mourn like you do if you lost someone very close to you. 

   As I looked back at this past year, it was one of the hardest years to endure.  I was denying my hurt...my mourning...my grieving...

   It wasn't until a month ago had I realized I was still grieving.  I know grieving may take a lifetime.    

   I held in so many emotions thinking and feeling I had to be strong because afterall, I had not only twice died and came back but would be able to handle it if someone close to me such as Tammi died.  I was so wrong!  Emotions held inside came out at inappropriate times.  I would get angry at the stupidest situations and circumstances without me realizing it.  In one instance, I almost alienated a dear friend!  Grieving is a different animal.  I became a different person.  I realize that grieving is a part of my human nature  One to be honored, respected, and acknowledged. 

   There is so much hope though.  My journey has taught me I am strong even though at times I have felt weak.  I feel sometimes you have to acknowledge your vulnerability in order to be strong.  You also learn to appreciate those individuals around you...afterall this journey may end at any moment...why not enjoy it NOW?

  

Future Blogging

   I am sad to say I won't be blogging much anymore.  As the fall season approaches, I will be working on my memoirs.  Spirit feels it is time to start writing more of my autobiography.  I will blog from time to time but not much as I use to...it is time to move on to bigger and better things! 

That Which Does Not Kill Us, Makes Us Stronger...

     This line is from the movie "Steel Magnolias."  I am a big movie buff and remember this saying as if it were played over and over again in my head.        

   I have often asked the Universe, God or my Higher Power how much more can I take?  Why me? 

   Many of us need to find strength from the Universe right now.  Many of us are relearning a new way of thinking or life if you will...we need to depend on our Higher Power for the strength to get through these perilous times. 

   Times are changing...for better or worse we are learning to rely on our intuition or God like self...I feel God talks to us through our intuition.  The messages or hunches we feel need to be heeded more than ever.  Will we become stronger through these times of peril?  That is up to us to decide. 

Getting Over Being Gaga for Golf Guy

    Getting over any relationship can be done.  I was looking over my past blogs and remember writing a year ago this month about the my then boyfriend Golf Guy.  I read the one blog entitled, "Me...Golf? Never...Yeah Right!" and thinking how far I have come from year ago. 

   As I reflect over the past year, I have healed alot.  I left the relationship with Golf Guy because I wasn't getting out of the relationship as I was putting into it.  A part of my heart is still with Golf Guy.  I mean I had shared with him an intimacy I had never before experienced.  I feel I opened up more with him than even my ex-fiance who I was with for over 2 1/2 years. 

   I had alot of tough lessons to work through.  One lesson was realizing how angry I was at my upbringing and feeling okay with the anger.  His actions brought out some angry reactions that to this day I never thought I felt.  I have since worked through my triggers that cause anger.  I am relieved to say I can first notice the primary emotion before the onset of anger and then work through it before it gets out of control. 

   I also realize that I am who I am and he is who is.  So many of us, without realizing it, try to change the person we are in a relationship.  I was so desperately trying to control him.  I thought I was helping him when in reality Golf Guy was just being his abnormal goofy self. 

   There are other lessons that there are too numerous to bring into blog.  I will carry those lessons with me with a better understanding of my self and how I relate to relationships.  I am grateful to Golf Guy for the experiences and lessons he brought into my life. 

   Even though our breakup was extremely painful (more painful than my breakup with my ex-fiance), it taught me a great many things.   I am happier than I have ever been.  I feel he needed to come into my to help me release the demons of my past.  I know I still have alot of learning to do but feel confident the next dude who comes into my life will a more lasting relationship.  I wish Golf Guy well and happiness! 

   It is onward and upward for me and onto bigger and brighter things!  I am proof there is life after a breakup!

Are You Listening to Your Body?

      The past few days I have been feeling tired.  I awoke Friday morning feeling like a mack truck had hit me!  I was so tempted to call in work, but didn't want to.  I am stubborn as hell and my guides know it!  Then I received messages from three very dear friends who forewarned me to take the next two days to rest.  Needless to say, I am resting.     

   Are you burning the candle at both ends?  Are you trying to take care of others instead of yourself?  Perhaps it is time to take some time for yourself.  I did and by tomorrow should feel back to my old self. 

   I sometimes to forget that even though the spirit is willing the flesh needs resting.  I am recharging my battery...I will back on Keen taking calls.

Do You Believe Everything You Hear?

   Last night I volunteered at a local charity event with some of my co-workers.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs, we have a committee at the law firm called Volunteer Crew.  Many of you know volunteering is one of my joys. 

   Well each of us were assigned to different duties.  I was assigned on checking on some of the vendors if they needed supplies.  Easy job!  I was one of three. The coordinator and I hung out most of the night.  Basically, we ate and drank.  We walked around alot.  It just happened the coordinator and I hung out.  He is a dude by the way.  Nothing romantic just had a nice time. The dude has a girlfriend...no problem...I left it at that...or so I thought...

   A fellow co-worker just got a call from one of my fellow volunteers who was asking this co-worker if she knew about me and this coordinator!  My fellow co-worker played stupid and said she knew nothing about it which she did as I told how last night was fun! 

   I have a feeling it is going around this place that he and I are dating or something.  I don't mind but this is a good example of how people can distort situations without knowing the facts.  Gossip can hurt so many...my point think before you speak...do not assume what you see is what you really are seeing...check out your facts before opening up your mouth...you never know if it may hurt the individual you are talking about.  If you are on the receiving end of the gossip, take it with a grain of salt.  Don't believe everything you hear either.  Besides, it is none of your business!  Would you like it if someone was gossiping about you?  I know I wouldn't!

A Day in the Life of a Psychic...

   Yes, here is another blog!  LOL!  My boss is out of town this week so I am catching up on the blogs I wish to write.  Spirit is inspiring with alot of information this week...so forgive me!  Of course, Mr. Bossman will be back next week to torture me!  LOL!

   I get alot of people who ask me what is like to be a psychic.  I will give you my own perspective on this subject.  I have always been what you would call a psychic.  I have had my own battles with my psychic self.  I was told by many I was overly sensitive and to get a backbone.  I fought back with my mouth.  I knew I had a tongue that could cut you down the middle if I had to.  I didn't like fighting with caustic sarcasm but back then it was a defense mechanism especially around my family who thought I was weird (and still do by the way). 

   I always questioned what I was getting from spirit as I thought it was strange to see dead people walking around my home.  I have to this day put a boundary up to spirit not have the dead show themselves to me.  I may in time be able to have themselves show themselves to me but I am not ready.  My grandmother once appeared to me in my apartment in her full spirit form and scared the hell out of me!  I yelled at her not to ever to do that to me again. 

   I do not want you to get the wrong impression that being a psychic medium is all that bad.  In fact, I enjoy giving messages from the other side!  I have had alot of people who have come to me at psychic fairs and find healing by the messages their loved ones wish to convey. 

   I also enjoy helping others to find clarity into their current situations.  I see what you can not see.  Spirit will use me to shed light on a particular situation which is troubling you.  I am the messenger.  I also view myself as someone who is here to be of service to those who need help, clarity and understanding. 

   Yes, being a psychic has its ups and downs but is rewarding as well.  I have a life like you do.  A career besides being a psychic which helps me to understand you more.  I get up dreading Mondays and looking forward to the weekend just like you do.  I love and feel like you do.  I feel the trouble (if you will) being a psychic is you have this sixth sense in which you sometimes have to keep under your hat.  I have a hard time when one of my co-workers is thinking something and I repeat it!  I have freaked out so many around my current place of employment.  My co-workes will joke, "You must be psychic..."  I laugh and walk thinking to myself, 'If you only knew...'  I find it quite humorous and at the same time maddening as I am trying to live a "normal" life like everyone else.  I know that is impossible but I am trying. 

Are You Putty in His Hands?

   I am reevaluating my personal relationships especially my romantic ones.  I know I am a strong, independent woman but when  it comes to my last relationship...I was putty in his hands.

   In the beginning I was challenging.  I was going away on my first trip in years.  He and I met over the internet beginning of July and didn't meet until the middle of August.  I wasn't even interested in him as he was younger than myself and kind of goofy. 

   I met him after my trip and didn't think much of him.  He appeared to love the challenge of me not calling him back.  I felt he was more of a nuisance than anything else.  If I wanted to stay home one night and he called, I would tell him so.  I kept my boundaries.  He did have a charm to him though!  He cracked me around September.  The relationship went quickly.  Then I started to becoming more pliable.  I wanted to be with him more and more.  Every time he called, I was there.  Of course, we are no longer together. 

   My point?  KEEP YOUR INDEPENDENCE LADIES!  I admonish you to keep your individuality in tact and not to become putty in his hands.  Be more into yourself than him!  Sometimes, he isn't worth it to begin with!  Put yourself first.  If you feel like seeing him that night, make sure he calls you ahead of time instead waiting to the last possible minute.  You have a life too!  You take the lead on what you want and stick to those standards!  Set your standards high because no man is worth more than you!

Are You Becoming Healthier?

   I am sorry to write so many blogs in one day.  I guess I am making up for lost time! 

   I am going through some major shifts myself.  I have noticed that some of my friends no longer are in my vibration.  It is strange because friends are very important to me, however, if they are stuck in their own mode of thinking and are not dedicated to getting better...healthier, if you will...then it is impossible to match their vibration field with mine.

   I will give you an example. Anyways, let us say this friend has called you one evening and says something to you that makes you stand up and take notice like blaming you for their reaction to you.  You respect yourself enough to call them out on their behavior as you were very hurt by what they either said or did.  They, in turn, put all on what you are going through.  That particular individual is not looking at what they are going through.  They put it all on you!  You decide to consciously back away from their friendship.  Your intuition is telling you to do so as you will become frustrated and aggravated if you continue contact with your friend. 

   A few months pass, your friend calls you out of the blue.  You are healed enough to hear from them and in fact are happy to hear from your friend!  It is an hour into the conversation when they still put everything on you!  It is right there and then you realize this person and you are no longer on the same wavelength.  You hang up the phone thinking to yourself that perhaps distance (and keeping it that way) is your best course of action.

    The above example happened to me recently.  I am not suprised since I have been expanding my network of friends.  I have been hanging out with others who are encouraging, loving, and supportive of me.  This change did not occur overnight.  I have been working hard with spirit to let go of old thought patterns which no longer serve me.  I am learning to recognize behaviors that are destructive to me and others as well.  It is up to those individuals to look at their own stuff instead of placing blame on you or me.  We did the work.  Until they do theirs, there is no room for them in my life.

Forgetting Him...

   A breakup is never an easy situation to go through.  I have a hard time myself letting go of the object of my desire.  I tell you it can be done though.

   It is especially hard for an intuitive and empath such as myself to let go.  I still pick up on him.  I have learned some techniques that may help you as well especially since you may be intuitive or empathic yourself. 

   First of all, stop calling psychics asking about him.  You are still pulling on his energy.  (I am so guilty of this myself).  You need to pull any etheric chords away from him.  (These chords are invisible chords which links us to everyone and anyone we had ever contact with.)  Call in Archangel Michael to remove the chords and as often as possible and send it back to them with love as much as possible.  Plus, the less you know about him, the better.  You need to put the focus back on you.  I know it is hard but it must be done in order for you not to go nuts wondering, wishing, and pining.

   Second, do not mention his name.  Yes there is time and place to work through post breakup but give yourself a time to work through your feelings a little each day.  Grieve the relationship.  Call your trusted girlfriends and then let it go! 

   Third, treat yourself like the queen you are!  Go for a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, or whatever you need do to in order to make yourself feel better. 

   Fourth, take care of yourself.  I mean get enough sleep, exercise, eating right, etc.  I have found many of my clients do not get enough sleep worrying about their former beloved.  My advice to you is he is obviously taking care of himself not concerned about you, so it is time to take care of YOU!  Not him! 

   Finally, know that time heals all wounds.  Do not wait around hoping he will have a miraculous change of heart because after some time passes, you may have had the change of heart and be happy without him!

   

It Is Not About Him...It Is About YOU!

   I am guilty of this myself.  I call a psychic about the object of my affection.  I want to know every thought, desire, future thoughts, etc.  I am here to tell you keep the focus on yourself and he will come along just fine.

   You see if you don't care of YOU who else will?  It won't be him as he has his concerns whether that be money, job, etc.  You need to take your focus off of him. 

   I am not saying it isn't okay to call a psychic about the potential you and your love interest have.  I feel forewarn is forearmed in many instances. 

   Does your singular happiness depend upon him?  NO!  You choose your own happiness and you determine if you are happy at this moment and beyond.  In fact, you have placed a huge responsibility on your beloved shoulders.

   Do what makes you happy and the rest will follow...

I Am So Looking Forward to Meeting Him!

   The time has come for me...it has been revealed to me from my spirit guides that a cool dude is coming my way!  I had a feeling of his arrival about a month ago but was so wrapped up in my law firm that I didn't pay heed to their messages!

   My spirit guides have been showing me my so-called dude as a business owner who is witty, kind, generous, handsome, etc.  My list of qualities are coming to fruition!

   I love Dr. Dragah's blog about Manifesting A Soul Mate.  I have clean out my closets and drawers.  Now I am clearing out the old patterns that no longer serve me! 

   My time is so precious but this new dude will be worth my time...it is time for me and perhaps you to start manifesting your dude! 

   No dude is worth my time if they are not putting forth the effort to get to know me and love me.  I feel I deserve a dude is who willing to take a risk as I am into a potential life partnership...afterall if you don't believe in yourself who will? 

FRIENDS!

   I have had my share of friendships in my lifetime.  In fact, I am afraid to admit to myself that I haven't had a good friend in alongtime due to my own trust issues with women.  A lot of my friends were not friends at all.  I have been stabbed in the back so many times and being an empath you feel a literal knife in the back!  OUCH! 

   I have healed to the point where I am able to trust slowly again.  I have a few friends I have been hanging out with recently.  There are group of women who I hang out with and we do the "Sex and the City" thing where we drink martinis.  We talked about women stuff.  I had forgotten the feeling of female bonding.  I mean men do their male bonding thing why can't we do it?  I have had so much fun!  It is nice to hang out with these group of gals once in awhile and just do some male bashing (yes, guilty as charged) and share our lives.  I feel it was very therapeutic for me.  I use my intuition as the type of information I divulge.  I usually bitch about my boss, but so does everyone else in the group!  It is fun! 

   Then I have cultivated a friendship with a woman from my workplace.  She has inspired me to take better care of myself.  We talk about everything and anything!  Every since Tammi's death, I have had difficulty getting close to people in general.  I feel it is probably from fear of losing someone close to me again.  It shows me I am healing slowly. 

   My really good friend would be my aunt whom I live above.  She is the one I tell my inner secrets to and am grateful for her nurturing.  I feel my own mother was not as nurturing as I would have like to have, but I feel spirit brings those into our lives to help us heal from the wounds of the past. 

   I also have a male friend I hang out with from time to time.  It is nice to get the male perspective on dating and men! 

   I feel it is important to have friends again.  Even here on Keen I have some discovered some of the most rewarding relationships!  I am grateful to the Universe for showing me friends are needed in my life.  I am also grateful to those friends around me right now as I could not have made it without them!

Rediscovering Sense of Self

   You may have noticed I took a break from the blogs and Keen in general.  I have been not only working alot of hours at the law firm but volunteering and more importantly...rediscoverying my sense of self. 

   What do I mean rediscovering my sense of self?  I didn't forget who I was but how I treated myself.  I wasn't making me a priority first and foremost.  I am not being egocentric or self-centered as I have always thought of others before myself...where did it get me?  I was losing who I was.  I was neglecting Amy.  I wasn't nurturing Amy.  Amy needs taking care of just like everybody else.  If I can't take of her, then what good am I to others?  My spirit guides have been on my case for a long time to look out for myself.  I was placing others before me by always going along with them.  I felt if I did not go along the thoughts or desires, they would not honor me. 

   I feel spirit has been placing signs for me to watch out more for my health and especially my self image.  Spirit knows I love movies!  Once I fall in love with a movie, I will watch it over and over again.  I may take a break for months watching a movie and then of a sudden have the urge to watch it over and over again. 

   I had forgotten one such movie entitled "Sex and Mrs. X."  I was flipping through the stations one day when it was on Lifetime.  It was made in 2000 starring Linda Hamilton and Jacqueline Bisset.  I will give you a brief synopsis on the movie.  It is about a woman named Joanna Scott (played by Linda Hamilton) who is married for ten years and a journalist.  She discovers her husband is having an affair.  Her husband tells her the reason he is having an affair is because she "Is very much the same woman he married."  Meanwhile, her editor hands her an assignment that takes place in Paris to interview a Madam Simone (played by Jacqueline Bisset).  Joanna thinks Madam Simone is a real life madam of prostitutes.  Her editor reassures her that Madam Simone is a matchmaker.  Joanna hesitantly takes on the assignment hoping it will do her good to get away for awhile from her marriage woes after her husband decides to leave her anyways. 

   She still thinks Madam Simone is a real life madam.  It is only after she meets this woman they strike up a friendship.  It is Madam Simone who teaches her that she needs to make herself a priority and she is beautiful inside and out.  Joanna goes through not only a physical transformation (new wardrobe, makeover, hairstyle) but realizes she is an amazing woman herself!  If you want to know more about the movie, rent it sometime...it may be worth your time.  (Sometimes they do replay it on Lifetime).

   After viewing this movie, I decided it was time for me to overhaul my self image.  I use to get manicures (once in awhile), wear makeup, have my hair done, exercise, and watch my weight.  I looked in the mirror only to discover I didn't like what I saw.  I decided to put in place a plan right there and then to change things I didn't like about myself.  I started exercising more.  I changed my hair color and style.  I am wearing makeup again.  I had a manicure done.  Now these changes didn't happen overnight.  It has taken me a few months to slowly implement these changes.  Are they worth it?  I think so!  I am feeling better and better about myself.  I am receiving compliments from those around me on how much happier I look.  I love it when people tell me I don't look my age! 

   So the time away has been well spent.  I am enjoying my life more and those around me enjoy my company more.  I feel I am worth it! 

   So if you are not feeling good about yourself, you do not have to go to the extremes I did.  Instead do what you love doing whether that be watching your favorite movie, reading a good book, taking a bubble bath, or just having some alone time.  Whatever it is you love doing or forgot you loved doing, you will feel better!  Afterall, you need to make you a priority!