Abstract
Stress can be both external and internal, be passive or active and can
affect us physiologically, or psychologically. We have stress reactions
when we feel we may be harmed, could experience an impacting loss, feel
threatened individually or become challenged by the stressors affecting
us. Often we experience a neuroendocrine stress reaction, depending on
how our body and minds react in response to what has happened. What is
most important is how we decide to cope with the stress that we are
feeling, which can either be good, or can also be negative with effects.
Recent Stressor
In the last six months, I have been dealing with the same stressor that
began almost one year ago today. The good news is that things are
finally starting to come together. One year ago, we had everything we
could have wanted. We had material possessions, good jobs, toys to play
on in the woods, and basically nothing much to worry about. We had goals
and dreams and had recently moved into my father’s home to be able to
enhance his life as well, only to have a wildfire destroy everything we
owned, and also finding out that our new place to live had no insurance
at the last minute.
I actually had both external and internal stress at that moment in time.
My stressor was the fire that was wiping out everything in sight
because of the dry, hot conditions, combined with the 60 mile an hour
winds (Aldwin, 2007). My environment handed me a transaction that would
likely change my viewpoint on life. The fire itself made me experience
over-arousal due to the fact that I was worried not only my family, but
also those around me may become harmed with the impending threat
(Aldwin, 2007). I felt the intense feeling of loss, felt the threat of
the situation, and in the end, it certainly presented a challenge for my
family that we never thought we’d go through. In order to have
emotional and physiological effects, all of these areas must be present
(Aldwin, 2007). Many impacts on my mind and body became a reality when
faced with the strain that was put on me.
I knew the moment the fire began that it was going to be very bad, and I
could feel myself trembling; along with this came the other peripheral
nervous system reactions, and my palms became sweaty with the
anticipation of what was going on. Additionally, my heart was pounding
and I had the butterflies kicking in the pit of my stomach when I looked
at the chart of who lost their homes, and even though no one else felt
our house was lost in the fire, I simply had this dread that came out in
the form of my autonomic nervous system (Aldwin, 2007). Additionally,
my mind went through a lot of information that had to be cycled, and
this is what would be considered neuroendocrine stress reaction to the
fire itself (Aldwin, 2007). There is more than one area affected when
put through stress, particularly if it is traumatic.
The following evening after the fire, we discovered the only belongings
we had left were the clothes on our backs. When I was donated my first
gift card to get my son the size clothes he needed, I cried when I read
the message of hope, and had an immediate breakdown of emotions. It was
the generosity that made me cry; even more than the thought of having
lost everything. I actually at this point had become under-aroused
trying to get through all the steps needed to help my family be secure,
and I began to have Social Role Stress as my interpersonal status areas
were in definite conflict with one another (Aldwin, 2007). I needed to
juggle many events into one; maintaining college and my grades,
re-constructing my family’s necessities and finally, having to work in
my personal home-based business to keep money flowing for things we
needed to do all seemed to be over-lapping and I wondered how I would
ever get through and accomplish such a huge schedule, and to this day,
sometimes, I still struggle with this, although it is getting better.
How I Coped With My Stressor
The first thing I did after I knew I had a place to stay for two weeks,
was get on the internet, and write, write and write more about my
experience. I made sure I wrote down why I had the goals and plans for
the reasons I decided my direction could take (Smith & Jaffe-Gille,
2008). In order to maintain the situation, I definitely couldn’t sit
back and just ignore the situation. Each step made was a reason to be
proud at this point. I expressed each feeling I had, posted pictures,
news articles and videos, but I also felt support from so many people
that I also could focus on the good that was coming out of everything
(Smith & Jaffe-Gille, 2008). I realized no one died, material
possessions can be replaced and the good news was we had a place to work
on to move into, and many other people did not. To this day, one family
has yet to get their living situation back in order, and that was our
neighbor.
I did many different things to cope with what I had experienced. I would
have to say I had no time to sit down and relax when I had my
priorities in order, until my goals were met for each day (Smith &
Jaffe-Gille, 2008). Time management was a crucial part of my healing
process after dealing with my stressor, and being positive helped me to
realize that there was a much bigger picture that helped me to see that I
couldn’t control what happened with the fire, but I could maintain a
balance after it has happened. I also had to learn the art of
compromise, because it wasn’t just me who lost everything I had (Smith
& Jaffe-Gille, 2008). I have also made new plans for the
construction of our home back where we had the fire. I have researched
and will now design the layout quite a bit differently in the event a
future fire goes through, I may have the chance to save my family’s
belongings, and personal family collections. In this sense, I have
altered my life due to the stressor I have faced, and on a reaction
scale, I have learned to adapt to the situation, as well as have learned
to accept what has happened, as there is no other way to look at it
(Smith & Jaffe-Gille, 2008). I did not realize these were such
positive ways to deal with stress, but now I am quite happy I conducted
myself this way.
This is not to say I went without negative effects that I needed to
change as a result with how I coped in the beginning. At first, I
started smoking a lot more cigarettes, and started eating everything I
found in sight, whether I was actually hungry or not (Smith &
Jaffe-Gille, 2008). I also withdrew from not only some people, but also
from who I used to be. I lost a lot of my desire to have what I once had
and had the excuse, “Nothing is for sure anyway, so why replace it with
what I want?” This affected me wanting to work for anything more than
just the bills, although it’s really all I had time for anyway. I still
fight with the problem I never used to have though, and that’s
procrastinating on what needs to be done (Smith & Jaffe-Gille,
2008). Sometimes, I just wanted a break that I knew I shouldn’t take,
and it almost became a habit with the strain that was put on me.
I still feel the strain of what has happened, and life is not perfect,
but I have learned to take time for myself. I take walks to maintain
healthy balance, get out into the woods like I used to do and spend time
with good friends. I have maintained a journal ever since the fire to
talk about my feelings in, as putting it on paper helps more than
lashing out on someone who doesn’t understand what your real problem is
deep down inside. Music that adapts to soothing often gets put on when I
need to actually sit down, focus and prepare for the next goal I have
in mind (Smith & Jaffe-Gille, 2008). Getting your emotions out is
key to maintaining balance with your emotions is what I get out of what
happened to me.
I thought maybe I was strange, but many people have looked at me,
particularly in the last five months, and commented on how I am always
happy, and no matter what happens, I don’t let it affect me. If they
only knew, but as I explained, you can let the stressor strain you out
to the max and dwell in pity, or you can look at the situation with a
little humor, and the laughter gets you further down the track (Smith
& Jaffe-Gille, 2008). ;) I can honestly say that I have joked about
this situation from the moment everything happened, and it has helped me
to see life is not all that bad.
Similar Situations and How These People Handle the Stress
I discovered through Abnormal Psychology about Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder, which is often caused during events such as the one I have had
to recover from. The situation that is similar that I am going to talk
about is the Great Fire of London in which destroyed most of London at
that time (Crave 4 More, 2008). According to Samuel Pepys, it can take
as long as ten to fifteen years for a person to be able to get through
the effects of a natural disaster such as this one, and what resulted
from the fire is much of what is seen today, and what I experienced.
First of all, these people all experienced a lot of disbelief (Crave 4
More, 2008). It’s not like you would ever think when you wake up in the
morning that so much would be permanently destroyed in a few hours. Some
people forget different parts of what has been experienced, which I
have also seen with my husband who sometimes have a different story of
the one I remember. Others will have a hard time being able to sleep,
may have bad dreams, and as a result of the experience, may even feel
intense anxiety as a reaction to the event (Crave 4 More, 2008). As
Post-traumatic stress syndrome indicates, many of these people had
recurring dreams about the fire, felt their emotions become numb (like
my feeling of not wanting to buy things that make me happy like I don’t
enjoy the feeling any more), and some of those people felt incredible
guilt for having survived the situation, when other people didn’t have
the same luck. (I also experienced this as people came up crying because
they had their home, and I lost mine, and we were so close together.) I
felt; as did these people in this disaster in London, so much sadness
and fear that your mind turns that numbing sensation on to protect you
for the first few days of the initial shock (Crave 4 More, 2008). I can
understand what this means with my explanation of how I couldn’t even
cry at first.
Basically, these people realized that no matter how it affected them,
this natural disaster was a challenge, and the challenge has to be met.
What matters the most is that we face it, and how we decide we are going
to work through the choices we are now presented with (Crave 4 More,
2008). We all have a status in life, and it can take some people a lot
of time to be able to put this status to rest, but as long as it is
handled positively, life does improve. Once again, all people in these
disasters, if on the right track, will find their own meaning and
purpose which eventually will lead to a renewed hope and trust in what
our life can be (Crave 4 More, 2008). What it all comes down to for me,
is take the challenge, improve the conditions and push forward until the
situation can be put behind you.
Conclusion
Stress can be both good and bad in life, as strain can cause some people
to want to shut down, while other people will meet the challenge and
may increase our ambitions. Our minds have natural defenses when it
comes to the initial impacts, which can be considered normal (such as
the numbing sensation), but if these feelings continue to exist after an
extended period of time, we may need to look at the patterns of coping
which are being used to design something that has a more positive effect
on our minds, but also help to prevent negative medical conditions that
can surface as a result of too much un-resolved issues with strain
(Hanbury, 2010). We need to try to use our stressors as a way to improve
our lives and accept what we may find unbelievable, and be careful not
to fall into a negative pattern with our coping mechanisms.
References
Aldwin, C. M. (2007). Stress, Coping, and Development: An Integrative
Perspective (2nd ed.). Soho, New York City: Guilford Press.
Crave 4 More. (2008). Disaster Victims Experience Emotional Fall-Out
Years Later. Retrieved on April 22, 2010 from the DISASTER VICTIMS.ORG
Web Site:
http://disastervictims.org/?p=289
Hanbury, R. F. (2010). Recovering from the wildfires. Retrieved on April 22, 2010 from the
American Psychological Association Web Site:
http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/wildfire.aspx
Smith, M. & Jaffe-Gill, E. (2008). Stress Management: HOW TO REDUCE,
PREVENT, AND COPE WITH STRESS. Retrieved on April 22, 2010 from the
HELPGUIDE.ORG Web Site:
http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm