Are we wide open to opportunities? It is often that I get calls from people checking on a relationship, or wanting a relationship.   Then later as the reading unfolds between my guides and the client it turns out there are many obstacles in them being “open” to the type of love they really want.

1.       They only want a certain “type”, usually a person who mirrors their own journey or issues.  Though they may not be entirely aware that is what they are doing. They are drawn to someone in another relationship and therefore unavailable, or initially the person came on strong to only back off later. Or to a host of reasons the person they want is unavailable.

2.       They do not want to change their own habits.  They are unsure or unwilling to put themselves out.  This is also on 2 levels.  First they just don’t put themselves out, they work and go home. It is hard to bring in new people when you are doing the same thing.  Or they join everything, think everyone is an opportunity. They are looking too hard.

3.       Do you really want a relationship?  Or do you just want a relationship with the person you are struggling with?  Very different. Then you are ready.  You can have a love that can “walk the dog and take out the trash”, not just call every once in a while or show up sometimes. Both are valid choices at times, just knowing can help you in decisions.

When you are wide open, you take clues from the universe.  You can live your life fully.  Find something meaningful to attach to if it is not your work.  When you pray and meditate around your desires, and get out of your own way, the universe wants to fulfill your dreams. The longer I read people the more able I am to see that we are all born with challenges and lessons that are built into our journey. If you can discover yours and work through it, you will find you can recover and heal. You are then wide open. Willing to learn and try out new ideas.  You can then be wide open, whether it is love or career, or personal growth.  If you need guidance I am here.

When am I going to get the man I want? How do I get the love I desire? These questions most of us on Keen hear everyday.

I was listening to a friend of mine talk about wanting to go fishing. The weather is beautiful right now, a perfect time to go to the country, find a stream or lake, and cast a line in the early morning light. Those were almost his exact words. As he was talking to a couple of others around us, I started to drift. He was talking about the different lures he had, his new hip wader boots, and his pole. He even had his old lucky hat to protect him from the Arizona Sun.

 

I was thinking about love, about one of my clients who talked about having a hard time finding it. It dawned on me that some how, love has this magical presence around it. I think sometimes we think the good fairy delivers it like a wish. True enough it is a gift from God. However some of us, including myself at times, show up to love without the tools to recognize it, catch it, develop it and help it grow. It is like trying fish without bait, and pole, maybe without the stream.

 

So what do I believe the right tools are to at least catch it?

 

1. SELF RESPECT- I can not tell you enough, if you don’t believe in yourself or treat your body and life with respect, then no one else is going to. When I am reading a man who loves a woman, he shows me she is attractive, but also that she has interests, skills, goals etc… that he is attracted to how she lives her life.

 

Also I can tell when he doesn’t respect her. When there are repetitious patterns, he keeps cheating, she keeps taking him back. He treats her poorly, and she is more concerned about the next time he will call her, and doesn’t seem to care about how he is. I have had guys say, “Big Turn Off”.

 

2. PLEASING APPEARANCE AND PERSONALITY-I am not talking about being movie star thin or beautiful. There are as many types of beauty for men as there are types of men, or women. I am again talking about self care. It should go without saying right? Clean, neat, dress for the occasion. It seems to need to be said, as it is coming up around readings. We all have good points, put sometime in your appearance. As far as the personality. Men and women want to have people listen to them, and smile at them. They also like to see a partner treat others around them with dignity and kindness. “Big Turn On” Ladies and men both honor the other people by listening and learning about them. Someone who talks about themselves incessantly is unappealing to say the least. I think sometimes the basic personality polite manners have be lost to, being direct, saying what we feel, standing up for ourselves. It is as if we do not how to socialize without it being all about “me”.

 

3. LIMIT THE DATING GAMINESS--A little mystery is great. It keeps a spark going. Playing hard to get, always being illusive instead of a good “clearing the air conversation”, well it gets old. Don’t take it from them and don’t do it to them. Be a grown up. I have been taught “keep your side of the street clean.” What does that mean? Don’t do anything you don’t want done to you. Some of this may seem like common sense, but again, its not always happening out there.

 

Lastly, spirit never judges people, I never get that. However you do not have to go to every event you are invited to. My point is this, boundaries are very loose as to what a commitment is, if a woman is living with a man but not married are they committed? Well, only they know what the intent is. However if you are looking for a good relationship with long lasting potential, one of the poorest places to find it is in a person involved with someone else. It will cause you pain, in places you did not even know you have.

 

Karmically, you could work out stuff, or take on more issues with the person, their mate, issues that could have been completely avoided. I am simply speaking as someone who has been there, and who will not journey there again. 9 times out of 10 they will not leave, run off with you and live happily ever after. Again you will always be loved by Guides, your guides and me. So it is not about that, it is about getting the best possible chance to “catch the best and biggest fish in the pond.”

 

Finally, as long as your attracted to them, and you seem to get along, remember “pick the people who pick you.” It is a turn on to be loved, wanted and appreciated. So if they are not doing that for you, let them go. Someone who wants you will put in the effort, compromise and move forward with you.

It is a mere 3 days to one of the most fateful days in my history.  I lived in Austin, Texas with my husband and 3 year old son.  The night before I had woke up in a panic. I was anxious, could not relax and had no idea why.  However I went in my sons room and when I did fall asleep, it was next to him.

We awoke a little late that morning, got coffee for me and breakfast for him.  I went to the computer room and sat down and turned on the TV.  As I was flipping through the channels, I saw a notice on a shopping channel that said, due to the tragedy in America......I thought what the heck is going on? So I immediately went to CNN.  The first tower had already been hit.  I sat down and within 10 minutes the second tower was hit. I sat in shock, like a lot of people initially we were shocked and confused.  I remember seeing a couple jump from the tower hold hands.  They were in the first tower to be hit and above the fire line. My heart just sank and one a time several people just lept to their deaths.  It felt surreal.  Then one at a time the towers came down. Again I just watched in horror.  Almost like this is not happening.  I remember calling Adrian, and telling him.  My whole day was consumed with these 1000's of people going home.

Then the  many more on the ground covered in ash. It had reminded me of when I was part of the eruption of St. Helens. For a couple of weeks after that, when I jogged I wore a mask so I could breath without ash in my lungs.  This was multiplied 10 times because they were close.  My heart went out, to them. My emotions ran from sorrow and empathy, fear, and anger. Who did this to us and then why?  Who would kill so many people for nothing?

We all have been changed since that day. For years after malls and theaters seemed unsafe. Fear seemed to rule us.  Personally we moved to Phoenix, where Adrian contracted with the electrical supplier (APS) here to help revamp security. We have a nuclear plant near Phoenix, as a lot of people have. 

The stories are sad, horrific and even heroic as in the flight 93.  So as you are going through the next few days, where were you?


I will be here if you need to talk.

The first spiritual lesson my mentor ever taught me was that thoughts are things.  That is one of the most powerful statements I had ever heard.  It was a little daunting also. 

There are a million little things we think about each day. Most run through our minds like an olympic sprinter.  We move on to the next without my notice.  Do we think our selves into success, failure, abandonment, codependence, happiness or sadness?  We do.  Now having said all that, when you really let that sink and realize it is true, that is the daunting part.  It is not that simple to turn fear into faith, though many would have you believe it. It is years of thinking, worrying that got you to this place.  It is undone by degrees. 

My first experience with this was early in sobriety trying to find a god, any god that I could entertain in my mind.  My sponsor  suggested I start with a thought of suspending my doubt. So when I got that negative doubt or frustration to just say, "Just for this moment, I don't know what it is."  The more I stayed in the program and watched  the other members people grow and change.  It became easier to believe. When I was never dropped on my fanny, I too started to believe there could be something.

My point is that the change in thoughts only needs to be slight at first. Like leaving a door open just a little. Overtime the changes come.  So when you are hard on yourself for something you said, forgive yourself like the forgiveable human you are.  It is the beginning of changing your thoughts. A 5 degree shift is all that is needed.

As your thoughts change so will your experiences.  You will entertain more faith in general.  Will I get that job? Maybe.  Then you will behave as if you are capable of having that job.

Now if you are worried that you will sorely be punished for the other thoughts. The universe has a balance. If our thoughts alone could kill, a lot of us would be dead already.  So don't fear them either, work with them.  Always treat yourself (and your thoughts) like the best friend you always wished you had!!

This is a clip from The Times news regarding the large moon this evening!!

Look up tonight for a spectacular treat in the sky

Biggest full moon for years enhanced by shooting stars

Do you long to retaliate against a love that has hurt you and treated you poorly?  Do you long for their Karma to activate immediately?  Well you are not alone, I have spoke to clients frequently who desire that, or just feel as it is not fair that someone can be so cruel and selfish, and find new love.  The client then speaks gradually they begin to feel guilty.  They struggle with their own dark feelings.  Jung calls that our shadow self, it includes dark and unknown aspects of our personalities.

The Shadow self is made up of choices. We choose by acting or not acting in a certain way. When you choose to call the boyfriend’s wife, that is a choice.  When you choose to let go and move forward, that also is a choice.  Thomas Moore in the The Care of The Soul says “The person we choose to be automatically creates a dark double-the person we choose not to be.”

One of the most popular stories that illustrates the principal is Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde that shows a man with who life splits because of it. It is almost like having a dark twin that resides inside of us.

Though we live in a free culture in the USA, at times some of own choices seem not free at all. The truth is we are influenced by our upbringing and friends, our work.   Women are taught not to be as assertive and boys not to cry. Now these are very generalized, but you get my meaning. Repressed enough and these feelings or parts of our personality can become detrimental, harming ourselves and others.  This is true especially when they are acted out.  Anger, sexual repression, lying and stealing even addictions are examples of this.  They seem to unleash an almost “other” personality to a normally well adjusted Person. 

There are ways, numerous ways to cope with these parts of one’s personality.  The first I believe is to accept, even embrace it. Why, you ask, it is human part of our personality.  The next part of this is to find a healthy way to express it.  I always suggest expressing it through writing, talking to a safe person, through exercise, art,  there are many ways.  I know a gentle man, who had what he considered a dark side, and he did role playing games. Though not a fan of Shadow Run myself, it helped him.  I never saw it manifest in destructive patterns.

There is a positive side to this.  A seemingly gentle person who finally stands up for themselves in an uncharacteristic stance, is also using a shadow side.  It says, “enough is enough and I am not going to take it anymore.”  Or, “I am just going to do it, I don’t care what people think.” It creates freedom, and even ambition, positive change.    These characteristics need to honed and made a positive part of the person. They can be part of a spiritual experience when people make broad sweeping changes.

The shadow represents what is  repressed or hidden in us. A lot of times you see it in a person both male and female in mid life.  We call them crisis, but sometimes they are that part repressed for too long pushing to the surface.  These pieces can be integrated with the person.  Then a whole new life formed by own them and examining them.  Assimilating one’s shadow is the greatest expression of a human life.

So when you think you want to call his wife, embrace it and call a friend, or journal, or just go to the gym and exercise until you feel it.  Pause when agitated or doubtful is one of the best pieces of information anyone has ever given me. 

<

I want to talk about perfection, or our desire to achieve it.  In a $5 bin at Walmart, I found the first season of both 21 Jump Street, and The Greatest American Hero.  Both of these old TV shows are from the 80’s and remind me of a great time in my life.  So that right there was worth the view.  I shared “The Greatest American Hero” with my 12 year old son, who actually liked it.  As I watching it, I started to judge it in my head.  I judged the special effects, the reluctant hero that could not fly or land properly, and on and on.  As I continued to watch not only did my son and I share a great afternoon, but I came to like the show more and more. 

I did not watch it when it was on TV originally, I thought TV was an evil beast, and a lot of time I did not own one. I also was very active between college, work and friends.  The only part I was familiar with was the theme song.  It was called “Believe It or Not”.  It was popular and quite peppy while the show ran.

Anyway I started thinking about the huge block buster Superman chain, Star Wars, Batman. How intricate and complex they were and how flawless they appeared.  Even our favorite Eclipse movies are more perfection.  When I grew up vampires were creatures that did not exist in light and certainly did not sparkle.  They were not vegans, and especially not emergency room doctors. Though slightly romantic, they sucked blood and took your life. They were monsters.  The end.  Now I love Eclipse so for the rest of this blog I remove it from comparison.

I was watching the beautiful Connie Selleca, and William Katt, even the late Robert Culp.  These actors were beautiful, but not perfect.  Connie is a beautiful, statuesque woman with womanly curves.  She did not have the fat sucked out of her thighs with liposuction.  Nor did she need it. The characters on both shows embraced their individuality. 

As I continued to watch  I appreciated that William Katt could not get his flying or landing down well, and looked frightened and clumsy as he went through the air.  They were more things he was not comfortable with.  Connie was slightly insecure with her romance, which was far from perfect and Bob Culp resembled a goofy, outdated FBI agent and I loved them. They expressed my own imperfections and humanity.

If we are not seeking a perfect healthy younger body, to make all our dreams come true,  create a perfect romantic relationship, “be all we can be”, “just do it” whatever it is, then somehow are life seems a little less wonderful , and we are diminished.  We have in the last 30 years since this show, airbrushed ourselves in every possible way both literally, and metaphorically.

From my point of view this is sad, just plain sad.  We are never going to be perfect, we are not meant to be perfect, we are meant to be human.  We are meant to have a human experience.  I could blame technology or Hollywood, but both of these are responses to our dreams, fantasies and desires.

Does that mean I don’t want to improve, no it does not.  I try every day to do the best I can to improve. My life is a work in progress.  I feel,  at times,  we have lost the beauty of God and the joy at being alive.

 

 We have just forgotten that fantasy is just that, a fantasy.  Our flawed bodies give us life and except for the 159 lb 5 year old girl, we were made to go through this life this way. Our bodies give love and give life back. Our flawed relationships are our companions, and frankly they are getting more difficult as a lot of us wait for the perfect woman with the perfect body or the man who will make great money and not burp in public.  We all are not going to be CEOs, or movie stars or super sport stars.  They are exceptions not the rule.

The rest of us, the rule, are the substance of our world, our country and matter as much as the  stunning exceptions.  As I age, I value the imperfection, the overworked mother without make up raising small children on too little money, she is the hero.  The man who works really hard in the mines to feed and care for his family, he is a hero. They are all imperfect by our airbrushed, “reach for the stars over achieving population”.  When I grown up I want their character, their hard work, and the ability to fly poorly and land badly.  So embrace your diversity and your uniqueness.  Just like the Greatest American Hero.

 

**To All of you who come to Keen to find answers and all of you who through Gods guidance provide them, Blessings for the New Year.

***I love New Years Day. Other than my birthday and that of my son, it is my favorite day. The rest of the holidays are bittersweet. Ah yes, I have the fond memories of Charlie Brown and that beautiful little rag tag tree, and the ringing of the bell in "Its a Wonderful Life". I loved not getting up and going to school. The decorations and the general friendliness of people during the season. My own home life was quite different than that. That for years haunted my holidays. As soon as Thanksgiving hit, I got through the holidays. My sobriety date is 12-26-89. The day after Christmas, and it finally started to get better. Then my son was born 12-25-97 and made my life and holidays amazing in the most ordinary, spectacular way. Alot of recovering and non recovering people have difficult holidays. Somehow being with people like me, made things better. It allowed me to find my own way of being during the holidays.

***New Years Day was always different. It signified putting all the bad behind, and starting new. Alot of my New Years have been spent making some change for the good. It allows my brain to take hopes and make dreams of them and then try to achieve them. Most of the time it has been great. So always the week before, I daydream. Then I start thinking about how I am going to be. The energy is high generally in January, it is other peoples fresh start too.

***We are onions you and I. What I mean by that is we are multilayered. Even our issues and feelings have layers. That is why you feel you try to heal, and then feel later like you are repeating the same thing. Let your self be. Stop asking "Why don't things every change?, When will things get better? Why me, when I have worked so hard." It is in layers that we change, peel one layer and doesn't it look good, but there is another beneath. The layers are smoother though and more pure as you go. I mean there is improvement, there is healing and growth. Let the changes be small. If you master them, and then add another, soon you will be a different place. Little changes add to better lives.

My wish for you is that you make for yourself a better, beautiful 2011. I will be on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for $1.59 on love and relationships listing.

Louise Carter: If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never gets a chance to feel his strong desire to be close. It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous intimacy, or "run after" their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost always be trying to escape and distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his own passionate longing for love. Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired. ~ Mae West ♥ The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. ~ Marilyn Monroe ♥ Is there anything better than to be longing for something, when you know it is within reach. ~ Greta Garbo ♥ A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman ♥ Have a wonderful day, and I am here for the rest! Trish

May your holidays be joyous, and may your journeys be safe. Working on Keen, and with my gifts has been one of the most important things I have ever been apart of. So thank you for calling and giving me the opportunity to be there for you and share in your journey!! I will be here if you need me!

How do I find someone? Well tonight I am going to keep it light, but here are some don'ts: 1. If you do what you have always done you will get what you always got. Poor grammar I know, but none the less true. Change is necessary for growth and especially when things stop working. Change routine, join a group, take a class. 2. Do not date anyone in a relationship or married. The odds are against you, and you will probably end up with misery, pain and loneliness. It is far more complicated now, but if you go slow you will be able to tell how available he is. If he doesn't let you call his home, only gives you a cell number and sees you only week days, there is someone else. 3. Don't move to fast, open up too quickly, it is a turn off, relating takes time, go slow, leave some mystery. It can get you rejected. Open up slowly over along period of time. 4. Don't call too much, text too much, email too much. Some say once a day, but if you are going 3 or 4 days without a response, stop. It is annoying and says desperation. 5. Don't be available all the time. Have a life full of things you love, people you want to spend time with and you will have things to share. You will be exciting. They say when you want to have a friend be one, when you want love, show it. If you need to connect call me!!

~Love ‎"Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if your love and must need...s have desires, Let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook That sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart And give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer For the beloved in your heart And a song of praise upon your lips." ~ Kahlil Gibran

Hey everyone I am finally settled comfortably in my new home and though it is a little warm today, nothing like the desert heat. So I would love to hear from you on this warm Sunday evening. 

I have sent out free minutes to my clients  and am grateful to be of service.  I learned early in my recovering life to be of service to another human being.  I get calls all the time from people longing and looking for love only to feel alone.  When I question them after prompting from my guides, I find alot stay in or complete tasks that are required with people they already know.  Case in point, if nothing changes, nothing changes.  So go out, do something, one thing a day for another that you tell no one about.  Learn to listen to others, be present for another's difficulty.  It is one of the most wonderful ways of getting out of your own difficulties, even for a while.

For me, it is still one of my greatest joys doing something in silence for another.  Now I know this goes with out saying, but that is different than codependent care taking.  This is being of service to god and the planet. Random acts of kindness. It requres no money and sometimes very little time. Have a great evening and be of service!!

Edgar Cayce.  Most of you know who he was, but I use him as a spiritual mentor. He is journey is a bit like mine.  We know his ability for prophecy was amazing.  Anyway, there is a phrase I know that makes some of our clients cringe, and it is  "Free will can create a change in what I have seen."

For you Clients I think you see it as a cop out....  I see what I see, unless its different.  For me I was taught early on that most of the time, FREE WILL TRUMPS DESTINY.  No it really does.  Cayce talks about Karma being like your memory.  That the laws of cause and effect are elastic. To quote him: Free will, in short is always stronger than preordained destiny.  No soul is ever encumbered with old debts it must drearily resign itself to pay and pay and pay.

However he talks about souls who choose to advance by suffering.  That the suffering is actually a blessing for the soul not a curse. Our souls gain stature from our difficulties. 

So what does that mean to you?  Most people, in most situations can alter their lives.

There are some difficulties we choose to help us progress. I had a husband who was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 33 and was gone in a month.  He probably chose that, and what seemed like a tragedy, was his blessing. 

Those things in my experience are fewer than the situations we can alter with good communication, and a step in another direction.  So remember when you are acting in a situation of great import, that you have choice, and it can make a difference.  Have a great day and I will be here today.

An attitude of Gratitude. That is where we all start. When you are afraid, unsure, angry, alone. Be grateful for what is in front of you. I was taught that more magical than any spell or prayer is gratitude. I was also taught to find 5 things to be grateful for. This can be a joyous time of year, it can also stressful, and even lonely. Stop where you are and remember to be grateful for this exact spot, your eyes, ears, hair, legs...... you get the picture. Gratitude attracts. Negativity, fear, even undirected desire can repell. Love what you have where you are, and it invites more, and warmth. So if you want to change what is going on everyday, pray to your own higher power, and then find 5 things you are truly grateful for. I am here for you tonight.