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The Calm Center

When self doubt arises seek your own answers, listen to your own intuition, that is where true wisdom manifests

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  • Name: Apache Widow
  • Member Since: 4/25/2001
  • About Me: Apache Widow understands the responsibility that goes with readings, and will help you obtain your own wisdom so that you may control your own destiny.

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The change starts with each of us, so lets get started
Start doing the things you think should be done, and start being what you think society should become. Do you believe in free speech? Then speak freely. Do you love the truth? Then tell it. Do you believe in an open society? Then act in the open. Do you believe in a decent and humane society? Then behave decently and humanely.

by Apache Widow | 0 Comments

Good Friends

This was sent to me by an old friend.  I hope it acts as a reminder for you as it did for me.  We are never alone.

  

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it
From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing....
 
Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. 
This alone is amazing. 
If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell.  
Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. 
Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell 
It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.
 
As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, 
trusting that he will not be led astray. 
When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell. 
Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect 
or because we have problems or challenges. 
He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. 
Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives.  
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way.... 

Good friends are like that .. you may not always see them, but you know they e always there. 

Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours. 
And remember... 

be kinder than necessary- everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....
Leave the rest to God

by Apache Widow | 0 Comments
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Anger

A BAG OF NAILS

Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. But gradually, the number of daily nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the first day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."

by Apache Widow | 0 Comments
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A Dedication to My Son

God Lives Under the Bed

(Don't start reading this one until you've got more than 3 or 4
minutes to just "scan" over it. It deserves some time for reflection.)

My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's
what I heard him say one night.

He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped
outside his closed door to listen. "Are you there, God?" he said.
"Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed." I giggled softly and
tiptoed off to my own room.

Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But
that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized
for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in.

He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties
during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways
in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the
capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably
always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the
one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas, and that
airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them.

I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever
dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day,
off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker
spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and-cheese for dinner,
and later to bed.

The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers
excitedly over our washing machine like a mother with her newborn
child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every
morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands
excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he
stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next
day's laundry chores.

And Saturdays -- oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my
Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the
planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each
passenger inside. "That one's going' to Chi-car-go!" Kevin shouts
as he claps his hands.

His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights.
And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He
doesn't know what it means to be discontent.

His life is simple. He will never know the entanglements of wealth
or power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or
what kind of food he eats.

His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one
day they may not be.

His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is
working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet,
his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it
is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when
his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed
with his work or the work of others.

His heart is pure. He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises
must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of
argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin
is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always
transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God.

Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he
comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God -- to really be friends
with Him in a way that is difficult for an "educated" person to grasp.
God seems like his closest companion.

In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity, I
envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I
am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that
rises above my mortal questions. It is then I realize that perhaps
he is not the one with the handicap -- I am.

My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances -- they
all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care.

Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn?

After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence,
praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we
are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize
that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God
lived under his bed. Kevin won't be surprised at all!

The author is unknown to me.

 

by Apache Widow | 9 Comments
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Ten Guidelines From God
Ten Guidelines From God

                            Effective Immediately,
               please be aware that there are changes YOU need
                to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
              completed in order that I may fulfill My promises
               to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in
                this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,
                but after all that I am doing, this seems very
                     little to ask of you. Please, follow
                             these 10 guidelines


                              1. QUIT WORRYING:
               Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
                 and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
               to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
               Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
                          thing that comes your way?


                            2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
                Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
                 on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
                  to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
               of the problem. I can't help you until! you turn
                  it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
               is long, I am after all... God. I can take care
                 of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
                 if the truth were ever really known, I take
                care of a lot of things for you that you never
                                even realize.


                                 3. TRUST ME:
                    Once you've given your burdens to Me,
                   quit trying to take them back. Trust in
                 Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
                all your needs, your problems and your trials.
                 Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
                  Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
                 Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
                  For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
                     help you. All you have to do is ask.



                              4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
                      Don't wake up one morning and say,
                "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think
                 I can handle it from here." Why do you think
                  you are feeling stronger now? It's simple.
                   You gave Me your burdens and I'm taking
                  care of them. I ! also renew your strength
                     and cover you in my peace. Don't you
                 know that if I give you these problems back,
                  you will be right back where you started?
                     Leave them with Me and forget about
                         them. Just let Me do my job.



                                5. TALK TO ME:
                    I want you to forget a lot of things.
                      Forget what was making you crazy.
                  Forget the worry and the fretting because
                   you know I'm in control. But there's one
                 thing I pray you never forget. Please, don't
                  forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU!
                   I want to hear your voice. I want you to
              include Me in on the things going on in your life.
                  I want to hear you talk about your friends
                   and family. Prayer is simply you having
                  a conversation with Me. I want to be your
                               dearest friend.



                                6. HAVE FAITH:
                 I see a lot of things from up here that you
                 can't see from where you are. Have faith in
                   Me that I know what I'm doing. Trust Me;
                   you wouldn't want the view from My eyes.
               I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
               and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
                 Although I have a much bigger task than you,
                 it seems as if you have so much trouble just
                doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?


                                  7. SHARE:
                    You were taught to share when you were
                   only two years old. When did you forget?
              That rule still applies. Share with those who are
                 less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
                   those who need encouragement. Share your
                 laughter with those who haven't heard any in
                such a long time. Share your tears with those
               who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
                          with those who have none.



                                8. BE PATIENT:
                 I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
                 you could have so many diverse experiences.
              You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
                  change jobs many times, learn many trades,
                   travel to so many places, meet thousands
                  of people, and experience so much. How can
                  you be so impatient then when it takes Me
                  a little longer than you expect to handle
                   something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
                    timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
                  because I created the ! entire universe in
                   only six days, everyone thinks I should
                           always rush, rush, rush.



                                 9. BE KIND:
                   Be kind to others, for I love them just
                  as much as I love you. They may not dress
               like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
                 you do, but I still love you all. Please try
                  to get along, for My sake. I created each
                  of you different in some way. It would be
                    too boring if you were all identical.
                Please, know I love each of your differences.




                              10. LOVE YOURSELF:
                    As much as I love you, how can you not
                  love yourself? You were created by me for
                 one reason only -- to be loved, and to love
                   in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
                 Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
                    It makes My heart ache when I see you
                    so angry with yourself when things go
                     wrong. You are very precious to me.
                           Don't ever forget......

                 Note: I rec'd this from a friend and I have
                  no idea who wrote it, but I was so touched
                   by it, that I had to share it with you.
                      I hope that you will be blessed by
                      it and will share it with others.

by Apache Widow | 2 Comments
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It’s better to be hated for who you are

Have you ever felt that you had to pretend you didn’t what you really desire the most?

A lot of folk do this, they want to be accepted by society, their friends, even their mate. They want folks to like them, sometimes at the cost of their own self-awareness.

When the other folks move on without them, they feel betrayed, lost and confused. They have lost the sense of who they are and what is important to them.

It’s better to be hated for who you are then loved for who you are not.

Say what you believe to be true, stand up for what is important to you, and don’t make excuses for things that are intolerable to you. If other folks disagree with you, that’s ok, that is who they are. The folks that like you and respect you for it, well, they really know you and love you for who you are. 

Be who you are, and make no apologies for it. You will be happier, you’re life smoother and more of things you really want will come to you.

by Apache Widow | 3 Comments
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Compassion

Compassion is considered to be a virtue in almost all major religions. We are asked to show kindness to those who are suffering. This is easy for us to do when the suffering person is what we define as a good person that doesn't deserve what is happening to them. As long as they conduct themselves in ways that we consider proper while they are grieving then we have lots of kindness and compassion to give them.

But, when the suffering person is not what we consider to be a good person, or does not conduct themselves in ways that we consider proper.....well, that seems to be quite another story. We say, "Oh, that is their karma, or they got just what they deserved. Sometimes we even criticize the manner in which they express their grief.

COMPASSION. It's a gift for the suffering. Feel the compassion no matter who they are or what they do. Your judgement and opinion are only that.

Compassion is a gift of loving kindness that can help you see clearly another's heart.

by Apache Widow | 6 Comments
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To All My Crackpot Friends

Imperfections---
 An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half
full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.  But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream, "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not
on the other pot's side?"
That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of
the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."
For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.
Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
 Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have and how we use them that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

 

I did not write this, I received it in an e-mail. I thought it was a very insightful piece, let me know what you think.

by Apache Widow | 1 Comments
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Happiness

So often we tell ourselves that we would be happy, "if only."  If only we had more money, a better relationship, a better body, etc., then we would be happy.

Happiness is truly a state of mind that we find inside ourselves. Take life in stride, turn away from the negative and decide to be happy.

In order to accomplish this we must learn to live in the present and accept whatever is happening now. We cannot worry about the future nor fret about the past. One is not yet written and the other cannot be changed.

Learn to seek the peacefullness of the present. Embrace life as it is now, just decide to be happy.

by Apache Widow | 5 Comments
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Truth

Sometimes it is so hard for us to see the truth about ourselves and others. We avoid the truth, gloss over the truth, refuse to see the truth and demand to be told the truth. But, we don’t always tell the truth.

Why should we always speak the truth?

In order for a relationship to work and be healthy, there must be trust. The only way to develop the trust is to tell the truth.

We cannot consider another’s reaction to the truth, only our own. To speak a lie diminishes you and builds up no-one.

We may seem to benefit in the short term by speaking a lie, however we can harm ourselves in the long term by eroding another’s trust and our own peace of mind.

Always speak the truth with kindness and respect. In doing this you will honor your spirit and liberate your soul.

by Apache Widow | 5 Comments
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My Schedule on Keen

My Schedule has become very erractic as of late. I am trying to sign on to Keen everyday during the afternoon.

I hope to have regular hours again soon.

by Apache Widow | 1 Comments
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Forgiveness

Only God knows another's heart and desire. We do not, most times we are not even certain of our own.

So often in life things happen that we don't understand. People do the wrong thing and cause us to feel pain and anger. These feelings eat at us, making us unhappy, nervous and tense.

Let it go. All we need to do is get out of the way. God will mete out the justice but we have to move aside and allow it to happen.

To truly forgive another will bring you peace.

by Apache Widow | 9 Comments
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Honor
You are formed by the choices you make. If you repeatedly choose to
do the honorable thing, you will become a honorable person

by Apache Widow | 5 Comments
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