The Art of An Apology

No one likes the sinking feeling that maybe, just maybe they need to apologize for their bad behavior, assumptions, poor judgment or ill temper, but alas there will be a time that we all do.  Knowing how to deliver an apology well and navigate the waters effectively will get you back on the road to redemption much quicker and put the entire event behind you. 

The 3 S's

1.   SINCERE 

Sincerity is key.  You have to have acknowledged within yourself that you were out of bounds.  That no matter what other inciting factors may have been at play, YOU could have done better.  Most often the best way to determine if you should apologize is if you feel bad or aren't proud of your part in the matter.  Is your recent behavior something you would brag about?  We have to search out our heart.  Why?  An insincere apology is almost like another insult.  When it's forced out, drug out, or spit out just to shut the other party up it just adds more injury to the problem. 

2.   SPECIFIC

What exactly are you sorry about.  The blanket "uh....  justed wanted to say sorry" doesn't really cut it.  I always want to say "uh.. sorry for what exactly".  Example:  I'm sorry for my part in our argument.  I feel that I jumped to conclusions and said things in the heat of the moment that I didn't mean.  I can only imagine how it felt for you to hear those words from me and I hope we can work through our disagreement in a calmer, kinder manner. 

3.   SUCCINCT

Yes, keep it Sincere, Specific and SHORT.  Ever get an apology that just drags on and on and on.  It's when the other party starts to pontificate and you begin to notice that this apology is not about you, but has become some long winded justification for why you just got screwed.  Even worse, how they are sorry about that, but you need to know it was inevitable and it's really your fault for not seeing it coming.  Again, uh no.  Do not ramble, you don't know where that may take you. 

A well thought out apology that applies the above principles allows you to be honest, authentic and respectable in your relationship.  It will pave the road for greater understanding and allow the healing to begin.  Your partner may or may not be ready to accept your apology, however your words will stay with them allowing them to reflect on what you have said. 

Once you've stated your apology, STOP.  Allow the other party to process and respond.  Listen intently and let them have their say.  Everyone feels they need to be understood before they can try to understand another.  With patience, love and a desire to understand a well placed, well sorted apology can turn almost any situation around. 

Blessings, Avalonmare

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5 Habits of Successful Couples

Successful couples realize the following:

Love isn't enough for a healthy marriage/relationship. So these couples make concerted efforts to work on their relationship by creating the following relationship habits:

1. Carving out time to be a couple--a safe space to check in and connect with each other, no matter how frenetic their life is;

2. Monitoring how they speak to one another (at times, choosing their words wisely rather than "shooting from the hip");

3. Understanding that they each have a great deal of power in the relationship (the power to show respect, caring, support...as well as the power to hurt, devastate and wound each other);

4. Continuously updating their expectations with the reality of what it takes to face the challenges of a long-term, committed relationship (realizing that mistakes will be made, perfection is an illusion, flexibility is a must...);

5. Working to accept each others' inherent differences rather than trying to control and change each other.

These are just some of the habits of successful couples. And one of the most important habits to remember is that being a successful couple is always a work in progress!

Are you ready to start practicing the habits of successful couples?

What to Do While You are Waiting for Mr./Ms. Right

Okay, a week has past and I've done the work.  Now WHAT? 

Now is the time you work on yourself.  Are you the perfect mate for your perfect match?

Start with a self inventory.  What do you wish you had more of in your life; what character traits do you need to bone up; how about friendships - like love relationships friendships need to be fed and nutured.  Hobbies and interests, do you need to cultivate some?  People like interesting people that are well balanced and happy within themselves.  If you are waiting to "start your life" once your romantic match enters then you are behind the curve. 

Following are some basic activities that you can use to prepare for your next romance.

1.   Clean your house!  Yes, clean out pictures of you and your ex, little momentos that keep their energy around and yes really clean.  Make your home something that you would be proud for company to come over.  After the past relationship items are put away or thrown away, burn a white candle and see the white light filling and blessing your humble abode making it ready to accept new experiences in your life. 

2.  Take a look at your boudoir (bedroom).  Does it say a full grown woman or man stays here?  Men if you are still flying your college frat flag or ladies you have dolls, stuff animals or tinkerbell anywhere in the room it's time for an upgrade.  Nice bedding, no clutter with a sensual theme fits the bill.  No guest wants to be introduced to your bedroom having to step over two weeks worth of laundry and wake up to the sight of last week's G-String laying on top of the mound.  Don't overlook your bathroom.  Some nice towels and clean facilities are a must!

3.   Go through your closets.  Toss out what is worn out.  Put together some cute date outfits, maybe add a new accessory or two.  Same for men.  If you greatest look came from the eighties, pick up Maxim or GQ and get some current styles to impress your date.  How well we maintain our look says a lot about how much we respect ourselves.   Updating your look can be done even while on a budget.  Get a great haircut and maintain your own color and mani/pedi's at home.   While going to the make-up counter for a free makeover, updating your glasses, and teeth whitening may sound frivilous to some, it will add to your self confidence.  Being comfortable in our skin is not something that we can fake.  Worrying about if we look fat, or if our roots are showing is definitely not attractive.  Confidence is sexy.

4.   We've taken care of our home, our personal space and our closets.  We are updated and feeling good about how we are presenting ourselves to the world.  Now go find some joy!  What makes you tick?  Do you want to learn French, then go.  Take pottery, learn to ski, read a good book, volunteer for a worthy cause, fill your life with friends, laughter, meaningful work and enriching activities.  Don't feel physically fit, start a fitness routine in other words LIVE.  Men want to be with a woman for the rest their lives because she is interesting not because she memorized the Kama Sutra. 

5.   Finally, I wrote this assuming we all learned our manners back in the "What I learned in Kindergarten" phase of our lives, but for those of you who didn't or don't remember polish up your pleases and thank you's.  Remember the way we treat others is a reflection upon us not the other person.  Show interest in your date and become a good listener.  One of my clients told me that the funnest first date she ever had was with her current boyfriend.  On their first date he offered to play 20 questions, with each of them taking a turn.  The conversation lasted well into the night with lots of laughter.  She said that she felt that she actually knew him better than the last guy she had dated for 3 months!   

Lastly, as an aside, women don't chase your potential beloved down like a cheetah hunting is prey, have some dignity and exercise some restraint.  Get to know him and stay focused in your own life.  Men, if you are interested in a woman be the man you want them to see you as, a Gentlemen.  Call when you say you are going to call, pick them up in a clean vehicle, be on time, show them that you are someone they can trust.  Inviting yourself over to a woman's house to sit on her couch, eat her food, drink her drinks, watch her TV and then sleep in her bed is called Tuesday for a woman, not a date.  No self-respecting woman would allow it and no gentlemen getting to know a woman would expect it. 

Blessings, Avalonmare

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Manifesting "The One" in Your Life

Can You Draw Love into Your Life?

The answer is YES!!!

So many times I hear from good men and women that they are lonely and want to find love again.  Following is a manifestation technique that has brought love to many including myself in 6 months or less.  I'm not talking about the next infatuation, (the good looking, charming and mighty fine dancer type) but an honest to goodness life mate.  However, I offer this caveat.  We can only attract what we truly believe that we deserve.  Since this is such a powerful manifestation technique take time before you begin and "clean up" your spiritual and emotional houses before you start.  Read some books and put them into practice, deal with your past break-up issues; in short be ready to work on yourself during this process.  In my next post I will look into this part more in depth, but for now let's get started.

Required Items:

1.   A Quiet Place

2.   Pen, Paper and Envelope (I like the tactile sensation of writing) or computer with printer.

3.   A white candle (tea light is fine)

4.   Good Old Fashion Family Bible (if you don't have one we have a work around)

Time Period:  One Week

Step One

In your quiet space, when you have no distractions, get your paper.  You are going to make 3 Lists.  Yes, the first one will be titled What I Want in A Partner.  I urge you to begin with character first as we can get to "mighty fine dancer" a little later.  I say this because it will ultimately be your beloved's character that you fall in love with and what will sustain your relationship.  All the other trappings are nice, but not without fidelity, honesty and compassion to name a few.  If you have a particular archetype in the looks department such as George Clooneyish, or my particular fave of the moment Jeffrey Dean Morgan feel free to add that at the end.  Remembering this is the physical prototype that you are most attracted to, not the specific individual.

Second List, like the first, should be titled How I Want to Feel In this Relationship.  This is important because we so often focus in our manifestation desires what we want the other person to be that we don't focus on ourselves in the relationship.  Do you want to feel safe, protected and loved?  How about inspired, passionate and proud?  What do you see yourself feeling and being in this relationship?  This will help you begin to manifest some of these qualities in yourself now and be able to better bring them forth within the relationship as it matures.

Third List should be entitled How This Works.  It's about seeing the relationship of your dreams panning out.  Do you envision the two of you cooking together in the evenings with a glass of wine?  Or if you have children that he is interacting in meaningful ways with your children adding something to their lives?  Do you see romantic weekends or a shared interest in softball or other athletic activities?  How does it work? 

Step Two

DAY SEVEN  After a week of reviewing your lists, adding and deleting, envisioning yourself,  your mate, your life together; it is time to tidy it all up.  Your lists are tight; you've re-written them all nice and neat.  Don't worry about prioritizing the characteristics, it's not necessary.  You don't have to choose fidelity over compassion.  In your quiet space light your white candle.  Take a moment to say a prayer, or meditate and ask that your intentions be blessed.  Give thanks for the process and what you have now in your life.  Affirm that this or something better is on its way to you.  That allows for God's spirit to fill in the blanks for what we might have missed or could not imagine from our perspective.  See your lists enveloped in white light and place them into an envelope and SEAL IT!  Very important. 

Place the envelope in your Bible.  This is known as giving it to God.  Now you have to keep your grubby little hands off of it.  No going back and revising your lists, for they are complete.  Spirit is immediately working on the issue.  Trying to revise will either start the process all over in the spiritual realm or tell your heavenly helpers that you are not really ready. 

For those of you who may not have a Bible in your home, do not worry.  You have to burn your envelope.  The symbolism is that you are letting go and letting Spirit do it's job.  The matter is no longer in your hands.  Allow the white candle to burn out on it's own as it continues to surrounding the issue with spiritual light and protection.  If you need to go to bed place the candle in the sink or tub to continue to burn safely. 

This is the most powerful prayer and manifestation technique I know that will ultimately bring the relationship you most desire into your life.  Once completed you will know that it is on it's way to you.  In my next entry we will discuss what you need to do during the waiting period.  Are you the person your ultimate partner would want to be with or How to Prepare for Their Arrival. 

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Tarot Card of the Day ~ The 10 of Cups

Tarot Card of the Day ~ The Ten of Cups

One of the happiest cards in the deck, the Ten of Cups says that you have arrived!  As the highest number, Tens signify the completion of any suit and here in the suit of Cups we find joy and the wonder of life spread across the sky. 

The promise of the rainbow offered in biblical times by God symbolizes his protection and grace now and in the future.  This promise is one of happiness, joy and contentment, and not just the absence of pain.  The man and the woman know this and stand arm in arm looking up.  The children dance and play celebrating their innocence having yet to embark on their journey through the suit of cups.  A river or stream moves from the home in the background suggesting the moving force of life begins in the home.  Home is where the heart resides.   Clear skies indicate a freedom from worry and a beautiful horizon suggest continued journeys in love and personal happiness. 

This is a card of peace and contentment, lasting situations and promises, blessed with stability and truth.  In romantic situations this card refers to a union with the key ingredients to keep it permanent and make it strong.  While it refers to domestic happiness and bliss it can indicate any situation that brings a surge of joy and the recognition of what is valuable in the situation.   In health readings there is a full recovery and in business blessings on a multitude of levels. 

Reversed this card can signal impermanent relationships.  Emotions can turn against themselves.  Highly charged situations can produce anger and deceit.  Discontment and a lack of fulfillment prevade the home.  The individual does not appreciate the happiness life is offering him or her.  Families can come into ruin and heartbreak.  The seeker may be made the scapegoat in the situation.  

The Ten of Cups Reversed can also represent a person's pain from their own family that remains unhealed and haunts them to the present day. 

Meditation

I am enjoing the joy and peace that come from finding my place in the world and am living in harmony with those around me.  I am at home with myself and others.  

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IS HE IN IT FOR THE HOOK UP????

You meet a guy. There’s chemistry. You aren’t easily won over, but you can’t help it. It’s useless to resist him. You give into passion after he wins your trust, but then he seems to change towards you, and withdraws the sweet way he used to court you. Here are some warning signs it might be all about sex:

1. Overtexting: It’s short, it’s impersonal. If there are more than four exchanges, he should call you. If he doesn’t, he’s not looking for a relationship.

2. Ex-Factor: He told you the first time he met you that he’d just got out of a crappy relationship. At the time, you thought you wanted to comfort him, but she’s all he talks about… and then he sleeps with you.

3. Social Networking Dead Zone: You send him a Facebook request which he doesn’t accept. When asked, he says he’s too busy, and doesn’t have time for it. He’s not letting you in to his digital life, plain and simple.

4. Booty Call: He only calls you after 11, and only wants to drop by for one thing.

5. Early Meeting: He uses lame excuses like having an early meeting, so that he can never spend the night.

6. Missed Events: If he doesn’t show up to your parties or forgets to wish you happy birthday, he’s not in it for the long term.

7. Introductions: You run into friends of his, but he fails to introduce you to them (and yes, he addresses them by name).

8. Social Studies: He avoids any serious topics or long conversations unless they revolve around him and his job.

Anyone care to add to the list????

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Ode to Mercury Retrograde

Holiday Retrograde Revisited

Ahh it's that time of year again.  No.... I'm not speaking of Ole St. Nick and stockings by the fire.  I'm talking about Mercury Retrograde.  Now before the mere mention of retrograde anything gets you all white knuckled, let's take another look at the Messenger Planet and it's reverse. 

Uranus is the higher octave of Mercury and rules Aquarius.  While Mercury rules both Gemini (thought, communication and perception) and Virgo (where it analyzes, gathers facts, and discerns) it is considered exalted in Aquarius.  Mercury seems to be a very important little planet influencing 3 signs (or 25%) of the zodiac as it speeds around the Sun in 88 short days.  As a personal planet Mercury is a busy bee too.  He rules all types of communication, short journeys, memory, the rational mind, the senses, but not the sensory organs, duality, and siblings.  In fact the more connections (aspects) Mercury makes in a person's natal chart, the more intelligent and quicker the individual is able to learn. 

Now when Mercury naps in retrograde motion it can make things a bit wonky.  Yes, miscommunication can abound, travel can be delayed and your brother could show up on your doorstep unannounced, but something else very magical happens.  Mercury normally retrogrades during this time of the year and it activates our memories!!  Old friends get in touch, we remember the past, we reminisce, we review our year, our priorities and reconnect to what makes us unique.  We even sing Auld Lang Syne (if old acquaintence be forget and never brought to mind.....).   Where would nostalgia be without an occasional retrograde, the traditions that we carry on, stories we share; all are snapshots of our REMEMBRANCE. 

So back up your computer tonight and check the weather twice.  Give yourself time to experience delay, but thank little Mercury for it's timely slumber who gives us our remembrance during this holiday. 

Copyright © 2010 Avalonmare

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Tarot of the Day ~ Judgement A Move Toward Awakening

XX JUDGEMENT

IMAGERY

The powerful imagery of this card invokes strong emotions.  It depicts the souls journey through Death XIII to a new awakening.  The Angel shown is Archangel Gabriel, whose name signifies the "strength of God", trumpeting or calling souls from a their mortal sleep.  The cross in the center speaks to a meeting of the opposites, a joining of what has been separated.  The higher self does not abandon the old, but goes about them in a new way. 

The is the final card that depicts a triangular motif.  A child stands between the two people.  The masculine and femine have come together to form a new reality while still retaining elements of both.  Yet the child stands with his back to us.  The new existence is still a mystery with no way for us know what it is until with experience it. 

Judgement is the first trump that begins with a 2.  This signifies a combining of the of the High Priestess' (II) hidden wisdom with the God Force of the Fool (0).  The soul has come to a cross roads.  He has learned the lessons of the mundane and is being called to integrate that knowledge further on a spiritual level.  He is coming into alignment with who he is meant to be at this time on his journey.

INTERPRETATION

Release and Transformation are the biggest themes with Judgement.  Released from fears and hang ups the seeker can move forward in their life.  They are able to express their energy and will in all matters with authenticity.  They are capable of letting go of relationships, situtations or persons that do not promote their growth or integrity.  This often signifies a move, change of job, cure of a health problem, success or breakthrough in therapy. 

The stage has been set, often time the seeker has already come to this transformation spiritually and emotionally and all that is left is the actual doing.  REVERSED the seeker knows what needs to be done, but is hiding behind excuses (lack of funds, free time, support or fear).  No matter how valid sounding, they are excuses.  Often times just taking any step toward a change will being a process of pushing through a logjam the seeker may perceive. 

A seeker may choose to try and avoid growth and change for fear of leaving others behind.  Instead they stay in outworn conditions trying to continue to "fit in."  This creates a general stagnation in their life until they are ready to release and transform.  Often times this stagnation results in an increase in negative emotion, stress related conditions, depression and a underlying sense of anger or panic.

AFFIRMATION

I celebrate a journey from personal isolation to connection with others who hear the call. 

Seven of Swords ~ Tarot Card of the Day

Tarot Card of the Day

Upright, the Seven of Swords is often considered a card of theft and deception, but there is much much more to this than meets the eye.  

We see a theme of continued struggle in the  Suite of Swords, but this man is acting alone and not in concert with others.  This indicates someone who has the ability to act independently.  The Color red shown on both his cap and shoes also indicates that he is consciously acting on his desires.  Perhaps his actions show and impulsiveness and lack of thorough planning, but intention. 

The character does not attack the camp, harming others physically is not his goal.  He believes that he will not be discovered and his attempt is brazen as it takes place in the light of day.  This can indicate someone who is close to you, someone you would not immediately suspect.   This is also someone who did not take all that he could, perhaps he only took what he thought he could get by with unnoticed. 

This is someone who is crafty and isolated from others, who uses misdirection and guile to achieve his means.  If this card represents a situation realize not everyone is playing by the same rules.  Pay attention and be on alert for deceptive behavior.  Act in concert with your values, but play your cards close to your vest. 

What of These Little Moments??

So many times we never actually “see” the real transformative moments of our lives, except in retrospect.  The seemingly mundane times that flit by not realizing the profoundness of their influence for years to come. 

Sure we notice the big things, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the loss of a job, a divorce or bankruptcy.  We think those are the real turning points in our lives and sometimes they are.  Not all are negative to say the least.  We also experience profound joy with marriage and birth, new jobs and promotions, but what of these little moments? 

To illustrate my point, when I was a sophomore in high school I brought home a “D” on my report card.  Okay, it was Geometry, but still.  My Father quietly reviewed my grades and pronounced my fate, which I awaited on trembling knees. 

He explained to me, that since I apparently did not know how to delegate my time, or ask for the help I needed, he was going to assist me.  He was going to remove the distractions from my life.  Yup, I was grounded.   Grounded from the phone, my friends, from all school activities, even my boyfriend for an entire  Quarter!!!!  OMG, even over my 16^th Birthday!  I was devastated.

After about 4 weeks into my internment my Father had a talk with me about my situation.  He explained to me that he was not angry with me, or wanting to punish me, but instead he wanted me to understand.

Understand??  Understand what I wondered. 

He wanted me to see and feel the restrictions I was experiencing.  Being grounded was, but a small taste of, the limitation I would experience without an education.  Huh?  That was a pretty big concept for a 15 year old, but I rolled with it and got paroled for my 16^th birthday. 

Years go by.  I do not ever, ever get another “D”.  I go to college.  I work at a literacy outreach center teaching adults how to read.  Eventually I become the administrator for an Educational Foundation helping others see to their educational needs.  I even type up, for my favorite scholarship students, term papers. 

Looking back now, I can precisely see the moment the trajectory of my career began.  How a 5 minute conversation shaped my adult career life for nearly 20 years. 

Can you identify the real turning points in your life?  A little self-reflection can truly mine these nuggets from your past and renew your outlook for the future.  They can also help you realize where you may have stepped off your path and how to step back on. 

Know thyself was inscribed above the doorway at the Temple of Delphi.  It is where your true education lies. 

Love and Light, Avy

Never Make Someone A Priority Who Sees You As An OPTION!

In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a
playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a
hard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun
to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking
this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make
a soul mate out of a Playmate.

The danger of this is that later, after years of playing, we will meet
our Soul mate, but it may be too late. We may have already made a
Lifemate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.).

Alternatively, we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are
in no shape ourselves to be anyone's anything. How can we distinguish
between the One, and just another one? First, we must be open with
ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only
you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind.

Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole. In order to
find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing
to listen to that inner voice. Moreover, is that voice telling you
that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts
with, could be him? What about that friend who is always willing to go
the extra mile for you when no one else will. Oh no! He's too short or
too tall, balding or too hairy, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me!
GUYS............
Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're
around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your
head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough,
not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me!
Therefore, what if he or she doesn't look like Shemar Moore or Vivica Fox.

Don't push away someone who is right there in your face, someone who
you think you are not good for, but you never asked them. Is the next
person going to treat you like the jewel that you are?

Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you
never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put
on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your
inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you
enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty of Playmates
out there to occupy your time.

Nevertheless, don't spend too much time playing or you may play your
life away. Eventually the playing loses it appeal and your soul begins
to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to
crave your Soul mate.

Never make someone a priority when all you are to him or her is an option.

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

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Simply food for thought.

Is our future predetermined?

~ or ~

Do we exercise free will?

Perhaps the more correct answer lies outside these two absolutes and our future is predetermined by the character of those we allow to shape it.

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

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SOULMATES ~ Are they what you think they Are??

SOULMATES ~ Are they what you think they Are??

The Number One misconception I hear with my clients is the “Soulmates” are going to be your lifetime lovers.  Nothing is further from the truth. 

A soulmate by definition is an individual that you have made a contractual agreement with pre-incarnation to enter your life for a specific purpose and often for only a specific period of time.  They could be a teacher who inspires you, a regular guy who seems to know exactly what to say during a brief conversation that changes your view or a family member that you have a deep-shared bond.  They also can be your Arch-Nemesis, the boss that fired you, the boyfriend who unceremoniously dumped you or the guy that just crashed into your car.  Surprised? 

The term “soulmate” became romanticized as the perfect someone to fill up all of your needs and would gleefully guide you to your bliss.  That does happen on occasion, however, lessons and life course corrections come in many guises.  Often times our soulmates are people from our past lives, someone we entrusted long ago to complete a mission for us in this lifetime and so the connection and interaction (whether we deem it “good” or “bad”) will be deeply personal and deeply felt.  It is meant to get our attention, so to speak. 

Often times by nature these encounters could last for only a few moments, months and even years, but not forever.  You may love them, hate them, hold them in high esteem, but they will make an impact on your life.  When their time has past in your life they will move on and trying to change that fact will cause you great pain.  It is usually will require a blessing and a release for you to regain your balance before you can see “the gift” that has appeared because of their presence in your life.  Even if the gift cannot be understood or is never acknowledged it is still there. 

This is not to say that your siblings, parents, best friends for life and even life partner may not be a “soulmate”, predestined or chosen, however, they are not guaranteed.  The soulmates we choose in this life are just as important as the ones we have made arrangements pre-incarnation and may be a player in your next life as well.    

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

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Happiness is a Choice

Attraction ~ Connection and the I-Ching

I use the I-Ching and the Book of Changes for my personal meditations and daily guidance.  Today I pulled "Careful Affection" and as usual, am stunned at the timing and accuracy of Spirit's direction in my life.  This is a perfect follow-up to yesterday's Blog entry.  Enjoy! 

Jodie

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54: Careful Affection

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

General Meaning: Affection is the basis of all lasting relationships, but must be channeled properly in order to bring satisfaction and support the self-esteem of both parties. For example, a married person's lover would necessarily have conflicted feelings: affection coupled with insecurity. Relationships based mainly on personal attraction, especially those which are outside the mainstream, require special caution and tactful reserve.

If you assert yourself too much, or try to make yourself indispensable, you will only incur misfortune. It is never easier to make disastrous mistakes than when you venture outside the bounds of propriety. If you are in doubt as to whether you should follow your heart or your head, allow for some time to pass, and perhaps the answer will become clear. Initiating any action could bring misfortune. Do not attempt to be too creative or attract favorable attention at this time.