THE ART OF LIVING AND LOVING WELL

What of These Little Moments??

So many times we never actually “see” the real transformative moments of our lives, except in retrospect.  The seemingly mundane times that flit by not realizing the profoundness of their influence for years to come. 

Sure we notice the big things, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the loss of a job, a divorce or bankruptcy.  We think those are the real turning points in our lives and sometimes they are.  Not all are negative to say the least.  We also experience profound joy with marriage and birth, new jobs and promotions, but what of these little moments? 

To illustrate my point, when I was a sophomore in high school I brought home a “D” on my report card.  Okay, it was Geometry, but still.  My Father quietly reviewed my grades and pronounced my fate, which I awaited on trembling knees. 

He explained to me, that since I apparently did not know how to delegate my time, or ask for the help I needed, he was going to assist me.  He was going to remove the distractions from my life.  Yup, I was grounded.   Grounded from the phone, my friends, from all school activities, even my boyfriend for an entire  Quarter!!!!  OMG, even over my 16^th Birthday!  I was devastated.

After about 4 weeks into my internment my Father had a talk with me about my situation.  He explained to me that he was not angry with me, or wanting to punish me, but instead he wanted me to understand.

Understand??  Understand what I wondered. 

He wanted me to see and feel the restrictions I was experiencing.  Being grounded was, but a small taste of, the limitation I would experience without an education.  Huh?  That was a pretty big concept for a 15 year old, but I rolled with it and got paroled for my 16^th birthday. 

Years go by.  I do not ever, ever get another “D”.  I go to college.  I work at a literacy outreach center teaching adults how to read.  Eventually I become the administrator for an Educational Foundation helping others see to their educational needs.  I even type up, for my favorite scholarship students, term papers. 

Looking back now, I can precisely see the moment the trajectory of my career began.  How a 5 minute conversation shaped my adult career life for nearly 20 years. 

Can you identify the real turning points in your life?  A little self-reflection can truly mine these nuggets from your past and renew your outlook for the future.  They can also help you realize where you may have stepped off your path and how to step back on. 

Know thyself was inscribed above the doorway at the Temple of Delphi.  It is where your true education lies. 

Love and Light, Avy

Never Make Someone A Priority Who Sees You As An OPTION!

In our quest for happiness we must be sure that we don't settle for a
playmate when God has a Soul mate waiting for us. Sometimes this is a
hard distinction to make. Playmates are tricky. They are so much fun
to be with that even the smartest of us will be fooled into thinking
this has to be our Soul mate. Worse yet too many of us attempt to make
a soul mate out of a Playmate.

The danger of this is that later, after years of playing, we will meet
our Soul mate, but it may be too late. We may have already made a
Lifemate of our Playmate and created life-long bonds (emotional, children, etc.).

Alternatively, we may have been hurt from playing so hard that we are
in no shape ourselves to be anyone's anything. How can we distinguish
between the One, and just another one? First, we must be open with
ourselves about who we really are and what our soul yearns for. Only
you and God know what is truly in your heart and mind.

Only you know what will make you truly happy and whole. In order to
find your Soul mate you have to know you, first. You must be willing
to listen to that inner voice. Moreover, is that voice telling you
that the nerdy person you enjoy talking and sharing your thoughts
with, could be him? What about that friend who is always willing to go
the extra mile for you when no one else will. Oh no! He's too short or
too tall, balding or too hairy, and on and on? Just too ordinary looking for me!
GUYS............
Then there's that girl who makes you feel so special when you're
around her, but she doesn't match that ideal you have conjured in your
head. She's too tall, not slender enough, not light or dark enough,
not shapely enough, not attractive enough, and on and on. She just couldn't be for me!
Therefore, what if he or she doesn't look like Shemar Moore or Vivica Fox.

Don't push away someone who is right there in your face, someone who
you think you are not good for, but you never asked them. Is the next
person going to treat you like the jewel that you are?

Not only that, his or her soul and yours will commune in ways you
never imagined possible! In order to heed that voice, we have to put
on the back burner our own superficial thinking. Could it be that your
inner desire is for a truly genuine person with a good heart? If you
enjoy playing, stay on the playground. There are plenty of Playmates
out there to occupy your time.

Nevertheless, don't spend too much time playing or you may play your
life away. Eventually the playing loses it appeal and your soul begins
to crave a deeper, more meaningful connection. Your soul begins to
crave your Soul mate.

Never make someone a priority when all you are to him or her is an option.

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Schedule

~ Updated Schedule ~

Eastern Standard Time

Friday         ~ 12:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Saturday   ~ off

Sunday      ~ 12:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.  - 7:00 -10:00 p.m.

Monday     ~ 12:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Tuesday    ~ 12:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Wed.          ~ 12:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

With occasional breaks.  Please Use the Call back feature if you see me on "Alert" and I will be happy to take your call as soon as I return!

Simply food for thought.

Is our future predetermined?

~ or ~

Do we exercise free will?

Perhaps the more correct answer lies outside these two absolutes and our future is predetermined by the character of those we allow to shape it.

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

SOULMATES ~ Are they what you think they Are??

SOULMATES ~ Are they what you think they Are??

The Number One misconception I hear with my clients is the “Soulmates” are going to be your lifetime lovers.  Nothing is further from the truth. 

A soulmate by definition is an individual that you have made a contractual agreement with pre-incarnation to enter your life for a specific purpose and often for only a specific period of time.  They could be a teacher who inspires you, a regular guy who seems to know exactly what to say during a brief conversation that changes your view or a family member that you have a deep-shared bond.  They also can be your Arch-Nemesis, the boss that fired you, the boyfriend who unceremoniously dumped you or the guy that just crashed into your car.  Surprised? 

The term “soulmate” became romanticized as the perfect someone to fill up all of your needs and would gleefully guide you to your bliss.  That does happen on occasion, however, lessons and life course corrections come in many guises.  Often times our soulmates are people from our past lives, someone we entrusted long ago to complete a mission for us in this lifetime and so the connection and interaction (whether we deem it “good” or “bad”) will be deeply personal and deeply felt.  It is meant to get our attention, so to speak. 

Often times by nature these encounters could last for only a few moments, months and even years, but not forever.  You may love them, hate them, hold them in high esteem, but they will make an impact on your life.  When their time has past in your life they will move on and trying to change that fact will cause you great pain.  It is usually will require a blessing and a release for you to regain your balance before you can see “the gift” that has appeared because of their presence in your life.  Even if the gift cannot be understood or is never acknowledged it is still there. 

This is not to say that your siblings, parents, best friends for life and even life partner may not be a “soulmate”, predestined or chosen, however, they are not guaranteed.  The soulmates we choose in this life are just as important as the ones we have made arrangements pre-incarnation and may be a player in your next life as well.    

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Happiness is a Choice

Attraction ~ Connection and the I-Ching

I use the I-Ching and the Book of Changes for my personal meditations and daily guidance.  Today I pulled "Careful Affection" and as usual, am stunned at the timing and accuracy of Spirit's direction in my life.  This is a perfect follow-up to yesterday's Blog entry.  Enjoy! 

Jodie

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

54: Careful Affection

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007

General Meaning: Affection is the basis of all lasting relationships, but must be channeled properly in order to bring satisfaction and support the self-esteem of both parties. For example, a married person's lover would necessarily have conflicted feelings: affection coupled with insecurity. Relationships based mainly on personal attraction, especially those which are outside the mainstream, require special caution and tactful reserve.

If you assert yourself too much, or try to make yourself indispensable, you will only incur misfortune. It is never easier to make disastrous mistakes than when you venture outside the bounds of propriety. If you are in doubt as to whether you should follow your heart or your head, allow for some time to pass, and perhaps the answer will become clear. Initiating any action could bring misfortune. Do not attempt to be too creative or attract favorable attention at this time.

Attraction ~ Connection and the Possibility of an Impossible Relationship

Attraction/Connection does not equate a future relationship.  I have several wonderful clients lately that have been struggling with this issue. 

I know he’s married but………….but there is such a connection between us.  Will he recognize or acknowledge that with me.  ~ pause ~ Uh, no.  But Why???  Well because I see that that man truly cares for his wife and would not have an affair.  Well but he can’t be happy with her if he’s attracted to me, can HE?? 

~ Sigh ~ Attraction is CHEMICAL.  Commitment is CHOICE.  No one takes part in a long-term relationship without facing temptation. 

So many women I speak with want the 2^nd fairy tale ending. 

They meet a man.  Their eyes lock.  He immediately knows she is the REAL ONE.  He is married.  However, he was just so confused on his wedding day he accidentally married the WRONG ONE.  Mr. Married-But-Still-Wonderful immediately upon facing this profound revelation goes directly home and announces to the Wife Troll and Troll-Like children he’s leaving for greener pastures!  The family goes “POOF” and he runs back to marry the woman of his dreams. 

Of course he will never cheat on you.  Never discard you like a rag.  Never blame you for all of his problems as he cries on the shoulder of another woman.  No.  Why?  Because you were both destined to be together.  

Some little known facts. 

Only two vows or covenants you make with your maker are still socially and legally acknowledged in our world:  the vow of religious service and the vow of marriage. 

Less than 3% of all affairs end in a marriage with the cheating spouse and third party.  

Adulterers lie.  They are lying to the primary people in their lives, their family and their friends.  Yet women do not think they would lie to them about their wives to justify their behavior.  Strange..........   

An affair is not a reality.  It is a fantasy relationship where the single party has put themselves on sale in the bargain bin for the sake of being in a lop-sided relationship.   They are with a man or a woman who will have sex with them only to return home to kiss their spouse goodnight and lay down next to them for the evening. 

I have guided many through this process.  In all my years of reading only 7 affairs actually lasted longer than 2 years after the DIVORCE.  It is heartbreaking to see so many people hang their life, their happiness, and their self esteem on such a torturous path.  Only 1 ended in a marriage which ended in a divorce within three years due to infidelty. 

Please think deeply before enjoining your heart on this path.  The odds are incredible that you will end up hurt and the energy you send forth may just set you up to be cheated on in your next relationship.   

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

American Idol thoughts

I'm not an American Idol fan but I did watch the special tonight (Annie
Lennox and Josh Groban performing -- I'm there). That said,, this wasn't
entirely inspired by the show. I've been bombarded the last few days by
stories of suffering around the world so I'm been using my various tools
and doing energy work to help.

But while watching American Idol Gives Back I did sort of think to myself,
what can we do (besides giving money). I got the following instruction.
It's so simple it might seem irrelevant but it's not.

If you can, every day simply pray/ask, "Please keep all the children all
over the world safe, including the children inside adults."

I told you it was simple. I don't pretend this is new or unique either,
but I got a very strong sense that it would be very effective. After all,
"safe" encompasses many things. The obvious is that it keeps them from
physical danger but in color therapy red represents both safety (stop
signs are red because they signal that if you don't heed their warning you
won't be safe) and the root chakra issues of having physical health, food,
shelter, clothing and support (add light and you get pink which is
unconditional love and red's opposite, green, is the color of the heart so
red is also linked with love).

Just think of the collective power of multiple people making that simple
request every day. And the latter part is so that it helps not just those
who are young but everyone. Every person has a beautiful child within but
we often lose touch with that part of ourselves. If we were more in touch
with that part of ourselves, there would be less pain in the world.

Feel free to forward this to anyone you believe would be receptive. The
more people who add that simple request, regardless of your personal or
spiritual belief system, to their daily lives, the faster we'll see
results. We do have the power to change the world. We just have to believe
and act.

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Anything you Give Chase to, Will Run Away!

Or Women Who try too Hard!!!  Everyone knows at least one really really really nice girl.  This is the woman who will overcompensate, especially with men, giving them everything she has when she barely knows them.  She gives blindly because she expects her attention to be reciprocated.  In short she is attempting to buy the affection of a potential mate by baiting him into feeling indebted to her. 

Why does this always backfire??  Women may have intuition but men can smell desparation a mile away.  When a woman deals her best cards right away she looks desparate for love or sex, or both.  What is lost is his appreciation for her effort.  Any woman who is willing to subtly devalue herself so quickly for a near stranger loses the respect of the man she is trying to catch.  Once a man's respect is lost, so quickly follows his desire. 

Copyright © 2009 Avalonmare

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part