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Looking for Love? Line Up Your Energy!

Many adult single women are looking to find love, it’s the nature of the beast. We long to pair ourselves with someone, to be appreciated, to have a “special someone” to share our thoughts and feelings with on a consistent basis and to open ourselves to building a foundation together.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking to love and be loved, however, many women just don’t seem to be successful in achieving the relationships that they so strongly desire. Why is that?

Well, there are about as many reasons why a woman can’t find love as there are stars in the sky, let’s take a hard look at one or two of them in today’s blog.

You must define what your primary energy is. Are you passive in nature? Are you able to sit back and simply accept or reject that which a man may offer to you? If so, you are a primary feminine energy.

Are you a go-getter in all areas of your life? Are you very extroverted? Do you initiate contact with men you are interested in? If so, you are a primary masculine energy.

Ok, so the modern, successful woman meets a man she is interested in and he asks her out. During the beginning of the relationship, at least for the first few weeks, she presents herself as a feminine energy, allowing him to initiate contact and suggest dates, etc., and things seem to go along fairly well for a few weeks or a month or two. What begins to happen, however, is that she wants to “pick up the pace” a bit, she’s anxious to find love, and this gentleman appears to be a suitable potential mate, and she wants to increase the amount of time they spend together and the frequency of communication.

Now, the unassuming guy, not knowing that she feels this intense need to be loved, (because she presents herself initially as calm, cool and collected, in no particular hurry to commit to a relationship), thinks that things are going along just fine when they see each other once or twice a week and communicate once or twice a week, so he doesn’t realize that she is already experiencing a level of impatience and wanting more from him than this.

Each time he has called and asked her out, she has been available and accepted, and she had no problems being physical with him at a rather early stage in their “relationship”, early being defined here as under the two month mark for dating time.

He has no idea that she has already, (nearly immediately), stopped dating other men and is focused on HIM. Period.

She has unknowingly communicated to him that she has no problem being ultra casual with him, whether she knows it or not.

So the gentleman in question sees no problem when he calls her on Friday evening to get together that same night, (no advanced planning), and when he takes her to his place for sex after their “date”, he feels no special bond with her, although he likely enjoys the physical pleasure. On Saturday morning they go back into their own separate worlds and he may not contact her again for as long as a week, again, asking for the last minute date, which she readily accepts.

He goes about his business during the week and because he believes the connection to be ultra casual due to the behavior pattern involved, he really doesn’t think about her much until he has some free time on his hands and an urge to be physical again.

In the meantime, the woman in question is spending the bulk of her time from Saturday morning until his next call talking to her girlfriends about him, projecting a future for them as a “couple” and anxiously waiting for her phone to ring, allowing little else to occupy her thoughts. Typically at this stage I get calls from single clients asking me to read the tarot for them to find out how he “feels” about them. This is not an unusual or unrealistic question, but what strikes me time and time again is the women who call generally don’t take the time to consider how THEY feel about HIM! Their only concern is whether or not he has feelings for them and whether or not the potential for him to fall in love with them is there, they don’t seem to take even a minute of their time to consider whether or not they actually LIKE the man in question or feel that they could fall in love with him.

In addition, they tend to keep their weekends open, failing to make plans with friends or date other men, anticipating any predefined “pattern” they discern from past experience with the man in question in order to ensure that they are available should he choose to again make last minute contact and spend time with them.

Because they are not continuing to develop other relationships or social activities, they become anxious about “how things are going”, “when will he call”, etc. and have themselves in a heightened state of anxiety until they hear from the gentleman in question.

Usually, at this stage, is when the woman in question starts destroying any chance of building a relationship with the man. Why? Because they have gotten themselves into a casual sexual affair and they now want to change it into a “relationship”. So how do they destroy the connection? Oh, there are many varied ways, but these are the most common in my observations.

Odds are, she nearly immediately added him to her network on whatever social networking site she may frequent, such as myspace or facebook, so she is “keeping an eye” on him in cyberspace, watching what he posts, what anyone else is posting on his page and keeping tabs on any friends he may add. The addition of any new female immediately creates a state of panic in the woman, and may cause her to add some new “friends” of her own to illicit a reaction from him. Highly unlikely to happen as the man in question is unlikely to be paying close attention to her facebook page anyway as he is still considering himself as single and available and behaving as if he is.

When she is unable to illicit a response she may begin posting provocative pictures of herself and perhaps other males (that she is NOT involved with) hoping, again, to illicit some response or reaction from the man in question. Again, this WILL NOT happen as he just assumes she is also dating others, after all, he is only calling/seeing her once a week (or less), so what she does with the rest of her time is her business.

When passive attempts at gaining his attention fail, she begins to become assertive in her need to gain his attention by emailing, texting and/or calling him, making him feel that she is “omnipresent” and pressuring him. This usual results in him cutting conversations short, whether via text or phone or computer IM.

Another way she escalates is, rather than waiting for a call and an invitation for a date, she creates opportunities to be together in advance of his being able to set something up. She begins to initiate the contact, invite him to parties she is throwing, (that she would not be hosting except to make a reason for him to spend time with her), attend movies or sporting events that she believes will interest him and so forth. At first, he may agree to attend with her, but his interest begins to wane and he begins pulling away even more from her.

She has changed from the feminine energy she first presented herself as, to a masculine energy, and he already has his own masculine energy, he doesn’t want to blend it with hers, he wants a woman, not a man, to date. He feels pressured and pursued and it is usually at this point when he either disappears completely or calls it off verbally when she pressures him to “talk about where this is going”.

You can hear the death toll ringing the second a woman says “I want to talk about where this is going”. Doomed. The average male will exit the conversation as quickly as he can, and exit your life as well when he hears those words.

Why does this happen to so many women?

It’s because in our modern culture, women are more masculine energy than ever before. They have impressive careers and lifestyles and are accustomed to going after what they want, aggressively, including men. This will work on a “feminine energy” male, but not on the masculine energy men you encounter.

So how do you find love if you are a successful career woman prone to masculine energy, (going after what you want)?

First and foremost, slow down. When you meet a new male, don’t worry about whether or not HE is going to FALL IN LOVE with you. Consider whether YOU could possibly FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM!

Now, consider your natural energy. If you are interested in a masculine energy male, (the go-getter type), then you have to stay in a feminine energy mode, which is very difficult to do if it is not your natural energy. If you have self-discipline, you can do it, but it won’t be easy. This means that until you are in a true relationship setting you do not initiate contact, create dates or otherwise try to steer the connection. You either accept or reject what the male offers. You do not ask for phone numbers or other contact info, but you supply yours when asked.

If you find it impossible to be passive and simply accept or reject, then you must embrace your masculine energy and seek out men who are more feminine energy. This does not mean that they are effeminate in any way, what it means is that they are the more dreamy types, frequently very creative in some way, musically or artistically, and they have no problems allowing a woman to pursue them and steer the relationship. How will you know? When you ask him out, he will say yes, when you call him, he will always answer, when you invite him out, he will accept happily, he will have no problems with you pursuing him. If he balks at any of the above, he’s not the right energy for you, move on before you get attached.

Another key factor is taking your time before becoming physically involved. Women do bond to the men that they have sex with, it’s biological. Do not have sex with a man until you know that you two are going to enter into a relationship, wait at least six to eight weeks after you start dating to allow this to occur. If you jump right into bed, you are risking bonding to a man that you may not be compatible with. Slow down.

If you are a feminine energy female, or residing in your feminine energy to establish a relationship, stay there! You cannot switch back and forth until the relationship is ESTABLISHED. The same goes for the masculine energy women out there. You can’t start off doing all the work and then expect him to turn around and start pursuing you. Once you establish your energy stay there until you are truly in a “couple”, at that time it is normal for the two of you to vary your energies, but not until then.

If you want to be cherished and put up on a pedestal where he cares about how you feel, you have to be the feminine energy, which means, NO CALLING, TEXTING, ASKING OUT, STALKING ON THE NET, or other types of assertive behavior, let him come to you, literally.

Until a guy asks you to be exclusive, keep dating others, and do not have sex until he asks you to be exclusive if you are the feminine energy.

If you are the masculine energy, go ahead and be physical with him if you feel so inclined, ask him to be exclusive before you sleep with him though. You will bond the same as your feminine energy sisters, so be sure that you want to bond to this guy before you do, but you are the masculine energy, so put it out there.

When you align your energy and know your role, regardless of which energy you find the most suitable for you, your relationships will start to blossom and love and happiness can be found.

Love usually comes naturally when the ingredients between two people are there, when it feels like your relationship is a struggle, it is not going to work and you should move on and not invest any more time and emotion into it! STOP TRYING TO MAKE EVERY GUY YOU DATE “THE ONE, when the right guy comes along, things will just pick up their own energy and you won’t be anxious about whether or not he is interested, you will know because he will be pursuing you OR happily allowing you to pursue him!

Please read my blog entitled “The Dating Game” to achieve a deeper understanding of masculine/feminine energies.


Copyright © 2009 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author. You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact Brigid Bishop via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part.

Quote for the Day

I came across this great quote today while surfing the net, it is by Kahlil Gibran, and I really find value in this quote. 

When you think about it, it really does make a lot of sense. 

There is much wisdom to be found in the thoughts of Kahlil Gibran, and we would all be served well to reflect upon them from time to time.

"Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need"


Why do People Cheat?

Why do People Cheat?

 

Let’s start with women.

There is a misconception out there that men cheat more frequently than females.  In my personal observations I find this to be untrue.  I receive just as many calls from women who are being unfaithful to their husbands and significant others as I do from women who are involved with a man who is either married or seriously involved with another woman.

I do find that when women cheat, they are prone to cheat at a higher percentage due to dissatisfaction with the current primary relationship in hopes that the new lover will provide them with what is missing in that primary relationship.  More women than men seem to venture into cheating situations to find their next serious relationship.

Some women, a minority, cheat for the pure excitement and recreational sex, but these are women with very strong masculine energies.  They look at the extracurricular relationship as just that, and have no intentions of turning it into a real relationship.

Personally, I believe that it is best (and healthiest), if you are looking for a new relationship, to end the primary relationship before becoming involved with a new lover, and this is simply to avoid the complications and obstacles that the cheating itself brings about.

When a man has a relationship with a woman outside of her marriage or primary relationship a lot of factors go into why he is doing it.  Of course, it is possible that he is falling in love and that he wants a relationship with you as much as you do with him, but, again, this is a rarity.

If the “Other Man” is single and fully unattached, he may want more with you, he may be one who wants you to end your primary relationship and launch a full-blown relationship with him.

How can you tell?

He will pressure you to leave your partner, he will ask you straight out “When are you going to end it so we can be together”.  It’s that simple.  He will also be there for you in other ways, perhaps he encourages you to move out of your home or provides financial assistance.  If you lover wants to become your number one, you will not have to ask, you will know.

If he is not exhibiting any of the aforementioned behaviors, then he is most likely enjoying the convenience of having a woman in his life without the obligation or commitment a normal relationship would require, and if you truly are looking for your next “real” relationship, stop wasting your time with this particular guy as he is not going to be there for you when and if you do exit your marriage.

What if your lover is also married?  This complicates the situation even more as you are not in a relationship triangle  you have now entered into a relationship square. 

Of all the different forms of affairs, this is the most complicated and most likely to fail in transitioning into a dedicated relationship between the two of you.

First of all, you are both cheating.  Why are you cheating?  You may be looking for an outlet for your sexuality and your personality and want nothing more, if that is the case, you know what you are doing and have no high expectations of the affair changing into something more.  However, if you are looking for more, you may be in danger of being extremely disappointed if he is not also looking to change partners.

In this case, it is very important to find out what his motivations for cheating are and what his expectations from the affair are.

Let’s look at why men cheat.

Some are also looking for their next serious relationship and are not comfortable leaving the marriage until they have secured a new partner, this is very unhealthy and reeks of codependency, however, it does happen.

Some men just succumb to the biological predisposition and their animal instincts.  They aren’t looking for a new partner, they are looking for pure recreational sex outside of their primary relationship.  They may be fun and charming, but their heart lies with their primary relationship, even if their body doesn’t.

This may be very hard for some people to comprehend or accept, but a very high risk time for these types of men (the biologically weak), is when their wife or life partner is pregnant or has just given birth.  Naturally if you are the other woman you may want to believe that he is cheating on his pregnant wife, or newly maternal girlfriend because he suspects that the child is not his, but in the majority of instances, this is not the case.  Sexual experience outside of the primary relationship in this instance is usually due to the male having a Madonna/Whore complex OR because the wife or girlfriend is incapable of having sexual relations due to the trauma of having just given birth or the discomfort of a late-term pregnancy.  If the man you are cheating with falls into this category, you are probably having an affair that is purely sexual in nature.

How can you tell if your affair is “just sex”?

The time you spend together is limited to sexual activity.  The primary goal being sexual gratification, no dating, no dancing and dining, just hooking up for the physical release and nothing more, is a dead give-away.

Some men cheat because they actually fall in love with another woman.

They didn’t plan it.  It just happened.

There was something innately missing in their primary relationship and the other woman comes along and possesses the spirit and personality required to evoke feelings of love and attraction within the man that may no longer exist with his wife or significant other.

Sometimes the man does not even realize that his marriage is lacking until he meets this other woman.

How do you know if this is the case with your affair?

Absent the fact that he is married or committed elsewhere, your relationship is caring and passionate.  He is attentive to you and your needs, he makes time with you, and he spends time with you doing a lot of things besides the horizontal bop.  He will tell you straight out that he is going to leave his marriage and he will tell you when, but the most important thing is that when the time comes HE DOES IT.

Affairs of the heart are complex and complicated, much more so than affairs of the body alone.  When the heart is involved, the intensity is there, the sharing is there and the man and the woman are both there.

It is a myth that all loves that begin while one partner or another or both are committed elsewhere are doomed to failure.  There is no blanket formula for love affairs that begin with cheating.  If it were true, when some say that “men never marry the woman they cheated with their first wife on”, there would be very few second marriages indeed.

I look at it this way.  Back in the olden days, when people truly expected to be married for life, people married very young but their life expectancy was much shorter than what it is today.

It is also a fact that as technology provides the human race with more and more leisure time and less time required to focus on utter survival, we have more time to examine relationships, to choose to renew or end or begin again.  People grow at different paces.

If two people marry in their late twenties, will those two people grow at the same pace and in the same direction?   Sometimes yes, sometimes no, we are not the same person at forty-five that we were at twenty-five or thirty-five, and neither are our spouses and lovers.  The person we loved ten years ago may have evolved (or failed to evolve) into someone we no longer want for a life mate, and so we move on.

Of course, it is always best to begin a relationship one-on-one, but there are times when this just doesn’t happen.  We can’t judge a book by its’ cover, nor can we project that a relationship is doomed to failure because of a less-than-perfect beginning.  In the same vein, we can’t project that a relationship will last because of love and passion, that goes for first marriages and relationships just as much as it does for subsequent ones.

Why do people cheat?

The list is endless.  This is just the tip of the iceberg and the most frequent causes that I have seen in my personal and professional experience.  Sometimes it's pure selfishness or boredom, sometimes it is looking for love.

I have seen many hearts broken through these types of love affairs, but I have also seen multiple cases of joy, happiness and success.  There is no magic formula for success, but neither is there an automatic failure due to circumstance, each case needs to be reviewed independently of any other.  If you are in this situation, believe me, you are NOT alone.

 

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

 

 

Surviving An Affair 

 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

 

 

Need a Fresh Perspective?

Although I certainly appreciate client loyalty and hope that our relationship will continue to grow, I realize that sometimes we just need a second opinion or a fresh perspective on our situations.

I have formed a group of New Readers to Keen and spent today weeding out some of the inactive listings and searching for "New Talent" to invite to join this group.

If you are interested in getting a new perspective in your situation, please consider trying one of the members of my group, New Readers, Fresh Perspectives.

All of the Advisors in this group are relatively new to keen.com and will have less than 2000 points in their ratings but have diverse talents to offer.

I am also looking to recruit New Advisors who are sincerely interested in building a full time career or a steady part time career through helping others here on Keen.com. 

If you are a New Advisor with less than 2000 points on all of your listings and you are logging in at least once per week to maintain and build your practice you are welcome to submit one listing to the group, please be sure to read the conditions of joining us found on the "Join This Group" page prior to submitting your listing.  I do not accept listings that are Email only nor do I accept listings that sell Pay to View emails on their pages as their primary mode of interacting with clients.

Listings that appear inactive for more than three months are removed periodically from the group, I only wish to assist those that are truly dedicated to pursuing this career path and have the gifts to sustain a client base reliably.

I will be hosting a Tarot Reading Class tonight, however I will be available for calls and callbacks after 9 p.m. EST this evening if you wish to contact me directly.

If you prefer to work with a more experienced advisor, please visit Brigid Bishop Recommends to ensure you continue to receive quality advice.

 

 


The Newly "BED" Game

Tough Love In the Garden of Eden

Thyme In a Bottle

Why Do People Cheat?

What is Your Power Animal?

 

posted by Brigid Bishop | 0 Comments
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So He Left His Wife, Now What?

He Left His Wife!  Now What?

by Brigid Bishop

Ok, you had been in the midst of a fairly serious affair with this married man. You survived all of the mayhem as discussed in my blog Cheating and Affairs  and now you think you’re troubles are over.

Stop.

This is not the end of your problems, it is just a new set of challenges.

There are two ways that this situation can go. Let’s explore both of them.

Scenario One

The married man you love has left his wife and your relationship is still “iffy”.

Scenario Two

The married man you love has left his wife and he is making definitive plans for a future with you.

In Scenario One you may be dealing with a man who has spent years in an unwanted marriage, and although the time you had together may have had it’s good points, and you may have thought that he loved you, he may feel that he has been living his life in a very restrictive manner and the divorce now gives him the freedom to live as truly single again.

Your relationship with him may start to suffer. He may blame you for his divorce, pick fights for no reason, cheat on you, or outright leave you.

Some men, when they divorce, get a feeling of “out of the frying pan and into the fire” and they will never commit to the woman that they were with when they left their marriage. This happens in about 50% of the cases I have worked with when the man does exit his marital commitment.

Many times the catalyst to the breakup of the affair in question is the pressure that the woman who has been waiting for years applies to the man to progress the relationship.

The woman may feel that she has spent more than enough time waiting for this to be real, and now that he is “free”, he should immediately commit to her. The man in question, as stated, may need a period of time to spread his wings, sow his wild oats again, and you, the woman in waiting, may find that not only is your waiting not over, but the relationship itself may be falling to pieces just when you thought your dreams were coming true.

In some cases, this stage, or breakup, may only be temporary, however, more often than not, this is when the affair loses its’ appeal and things start riding the highway to hell.

Scenario Two

Your married man left his wife with the explicit intention of building a life with you, and he has made that very clear to you.

Good for you.

Now, perhaps, you believe that you can really start your relationship for real and that you can have a fresh start.

Although this scenario, rare as it is, can initially be a very happy one for the two of you as a couple, you’re not out of the woods yet.

First of all, there may well be a very difficult (and expensive) divorce proceeding for your married man to contend with. Child custody battles, drawn out settlement negotiations are common.

Divorces of this type are usually much more vindictive than any other type of divorce because of the involvement of the third party (you), no one likes to be cheated on, and your married man’s soon to be ex may be trying to hurt him in any way(s) she can to punish him for cheating.

Even worse, the soon-to-be ex-wife is even more hurt and angry because if she is aware that he intends to build a future with you, he has moved on very quickly and that stings. No one likes to be replaced, especially before they are “gone”. So be prepared for a nasty divorce battle.

Now, there is his family to contend with. Do you actually believe that his children and his parents are going to welcome you with open arms? To be realistic, the children may very well hate you for the rest of their lives for disrupting their home life. Even if it wasn’t happy, and the parents were fighting a lot, it was the “norm” and their dad was a part of their day-to-day living, and now you “took him away”. They are likely to resent you big time. If the ex-wife is particularly vindictive, she will poison the children in many ways against you and probably against him too. This does not make for a happy foundation for a blended family.

Finances may be difficult for a long time to come when the divorce is over. He will likely have child support and possibly alimony as well, so you will have to continue to contribute to the financial stability of your pairing, more so than if this situation did not exist.

Be aware that you may begin to resent the additional financial burdens that the ex-wife and children present, the younger the children, the longer you are restricted.

He may still be required to live a separate life when it comes to his children. To keep peace he may have to keep his relationship with his children separate from you, it happens very often, so keep your fantasies of a happy blended family to a minimum.

His parents may or may not accept you, it will depend upon your individual circumstances, so again, you may feel like you are still an outsider.

You will also need to be concerned about joint assets. Suppose he moves into the home you already own and you marry. Be sure you have a will defining how your assets will be distributed. What if you have children as well, if you die first and do not define who the house goes to in your will, your now-husband will inherit it automatically, and then when he passes on who gets it? Your kids? His kids? You must look at the situation realistically to protect yourself as well as any children you have on your own.

As time goes on, the situation may improve, children grow up, exes move on, people adapt, but be aware that these are just a few of the challenges you may face when you enter into this volatile situation. People fall in and out of love all of the time.

Your situation is not unusual to say the least, but it is more challenging in the obstacles and pressures that come your way due to the way that it began.

Keep that in mind.

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

On The Outside Looking In

Brigid Bishop Relationship Coach

 

 

Have You Read Brigid Bishop's Classic Blogs?

 

 


 

Hilights From The Past

 

The Newly "BED" Game

Tough Love In the Garden of Eden

Thyme In a Bottle

Why Do People Cheat?

What is Your Power Animal?

The Bridal Bouquet

(This Article Contains Links to More Wedding Rituals and Myths)

 

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

Premarital Ponderings at 2 a.m.

On The Outside Looking In 

Doing The Relationship Limbo?

Be Careful What You Wish For!

Relationships From All Angles, The Geometry of Relationships

He Chased Me 'Til I Caught Him

 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

 

 

Timing and the Tarot

Tarot Tips by Brigid Bishop:  Timing and the Tarot

 

When?  When?  When?

The most difficult skill in interpreting tarot is pinning down time.  Many querents fail to realize that the timing of events is static to begin with, many factors can change or “adjust” the timing of predictive readings.

The first and foremost factor that affects timing is any action that is taken by the querent that was not premeditated at the time the reading was given.  For instance, the most common question asked is “When will he/she contact me next?”

We do a spread and it looks like a one week to ten day period.  First of all, in the divulging of timing, if I say “one week to ten days”, it may actually be day ELEVEN that the contact occurs in, I am NOT a pinpointed timing reader.  Anyway, we get a read with this timeframe and the querent gets “antsy” and picks up the phone, calls and leaves a voicemail or sends a text……the Free Will of the querent has changed the situation and the reading is no longer valid.  Yes, at times, taking the bull by the horns like this may push things to happen more quickly, but, more often than not, it pushes things back.  (See my blog on Masculine and Feminine Energies for more info):  The Dating Game, Exploring Masculine and Feminine Energies

Anyway, to calculate timing in a reading, I use a combination of several different methods.  First of all, I generally use a spread that divulges timing based on the position of the cards.  The positions give me a “guesstimate” of the timing.  We have positions that include, but are not limited to, one to two weeks, three to six weeks, three to six months, and six months to a year.  The cards themselves relate to timing as well, certain cards indicate immediate action, certain cards are passive and hint at delay, etc.  Where they land in the spread aids in the interpretation of “when”. 

I also take into consideration the parochial version of tarot, which assigns Wands to Spring, Cups to Summer, Swords to Autumn and Pentacles to Winter, and then, secondarily, the Aces are the first week, the Twos are the second week and so on, this is taken into consideration as well.

The general intuitive or “psychic” interpretation I get when looking at the spread as a whole is also a key factor in calculating timing.

There is also a method that I can use, but rarely do over the phone unless the querent requests it (it is not “quick” and you are paying by the minute, so I only perform upon request).  This is where they want to count off the days or weeks or months until an event.  The question is asked, such as “How many days until he calls?”, I shuffle and cut and begin flipping over and counting out the cards until I hit an Ace, that is your answer.  Obviously, there are 78 cards in the deck, and the first Ace could possibly be card number 74, this is not a quick method when reading by phone, but if requested, I will perform it for you.

So, calculating timing is a complex process and it is very difficult to pinpoint to an “exact” day.  Usually, in my readings, if I see an event in days, I am only off by a day or two, if I see it in weeks, it may vary by a week or two, if I see the answer in months, it may vary by a month or two, but the event will ultimately happen, it’s just difficult to pin down, it’s like sticking your hand into a bucket of water and wanting the hole to remain after you pull your hand out……water seeks its’ own level, and events happen in their own time, I can give you my best estimate through Tarot, but I do not claim to be exact.

Generally, the closer in the event is, the more clearly it comes up in the cards, and the more "exact" the timing is.

Please be sure to visit Brigid Bishop to receive an ethical and professional tarot consultation.


 Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

.  This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Learn How To Choose the Right Advisor for YOU 

Tarot Tips:  When Will?

Quote for the Day

It's been a very odd day.

Major celebrities from my childhood passing way, neither one was one I was what you would call a "fan" of, but just the same, they had such a huge cultural influence on my generation that I would be remiss in failing to acknowledge their significance as major contributors to our pop culture. 

Even so it makes me reflect on mortality in general. 

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson may not have been celebrities that I followed, but I was influenced by them just the same, as were literally millions of others, in some small way or another.

May they both rest in peace, and I find this quote apropos to both celebs lives,

"Don't part with your illusions.  When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

Mark Twain
(A Fellow Aquarian I much admire)

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Is Jeff Goldblum Dead or Alive?

I have read conflicting reports on the internet that Jeff Goldblum suffered a fatal fall today on a movie set in New Zealand.  Does anyone know if this is fact or fiction yet?  I haven't seen any confirmed stories, as I google the results grow, but some claim it is a hoax.  Does anyone know?  If true, this would be our generations number three.

I Wonder if There Will Be a Third Death Today?

With Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson dying on the same day, this child of that generation wonders if before the day is over we will lose another childhood icon? 

Michael Jackson Dead at Age 50

Two celebrities popular during my youth passed today, first Farrah Fawcett and now Michael Jackson.  Anyone know what caused his death?  Just hitting the news now.

Initial stories on the web are citing cardiac arrest.

There must be some sort of astrological implications today affecting both of these charts.  Later on tonight when I am done working I will have to review them.

An Icon From Our Childhood Passes

Whether you were a fan or not, you could not help but be affected by this woman if you grew up during the 70's.

Farrah Fawcett was certainly an icon in my generation.  The feathered hair, her build, she was what all of the teenie boppers of my generation wanted to look like.  Of course, being an olive-skinned brunette, I had no chance of imitating her, lol, but she was a woman that many young girls tried to emulate.

Personally, I was not a big fan of her acting ability, however, be that as it may, one must recognize her significant impact on our culture and on my generation.

She suffered terribly over the past few years undergoing treatment for the cancer that ultimately took her life, and one must feel compassion for her, as in the end, superstar or not, we are all human.

May she Rest In Peace and be welcomed into her God's arms.

Why Men Are Like Buses

Why Men Are Like Buses!

 

 

I have mentioned this quote from a wise woman in one of my other blogs, but I think it worthy of expounding on the analogy.

It’s funny that while I was married to my first husband I did not fully appreciate the wisdom of my first mother-in-law, alas, we live and we learn.

When I was divorcing her son after our eight year long marriage I was having coffee with her while she was paying a visit to see my two sons, her beloved grandchildren, and we were speaking about the difficulties encountered in relationships.  It may have been one of the best conversations we ever had over the years that we were family.

Anyway, I was twenty-nine years old at the time, and she actually did support my decision to divorce her son.

Her sage advice was this, and I quote, “Brigid, men are like buses, you stand on the corner long enough and another one comes along”.  At the time I burst out laughing because I couldn’t believe that she was actually saying this to me!  Her future EX-daughter-in-law! 

Think about it though.

It is true.

Men ARE like buses.

Ok, so we have a regular bus (man) we like to ride, (lol), and one day we are heading to that same corner to wait for that good old dependable bus (man) to roll down the street toward us, and for some unforeseeable reason, we MISS the bus (man)!

Now this could take the form of many causations here, remember this is an analogy.  Maybe we broke it off, they broke it off, he didn’t call, whatever…but we missed the bus (man).

So what to do?

Our first impulse is to begin running down the street after the bus (man) regardless of whether we are in our high heels or our Keds and try to catch that bus we just missed!  What happens nine times out of ten when you chase a bus down the street?

You got it.  Nothing.  We end up out of breath and a block or so away from the stop where the next bus (man) will cruise by.

Most of us learn to calmly walk back to the bus (man) stop and just wait for the next bus (man) to come by.  MOST of us.

Some of us are so obsessed with having that particular bus (man) that we may chase the bus for ten blocks, or, God forbid, all the way to our original destination!  What happens then?  Well, if we can run that far and have that much endurance, our feet will blister, we’ll be disheveled and tired, and guess what?  The bus (man) turns around and goes back the other way to continue its’ route!

What happens if we just walk on back to the original bus (man) stop?

Just like my good old ex-mother-in-law said those many, many years ago…

Another bus (man) comes by.

Want to know what’s going on at your bus (man) station?

Contact Brigid Bishop for a professional and ethical Tarot Reading so that you can stop chasing buses (men) and start enjoying the ride!

 

 Copyright 2008 Brigid Bishop

The One: The Myth Exposed

The ONE:  The Myth Exposed

The ONE.

"Are We Meant To Be Together?"

This question, more than any other question that is asked of me makes me very tense.  It bothers me because I do not subscribe to the idea or fantasy that there exists out there “The One”.

In my personal belief system, I just cannot buy into this particular myth.

Some people believe that a “Soul Mate” is “The One”, ugh, it rattles my cage when I hear of or read about people encouraging this fantasy in others.

This mindset leads people to pursuing relationships that won’t work and to holding on to relationships that don’t work, and frequently gets them obsessed with an ex.

There is no such thing as “The One”.  The Universe is not so cruel as to, in the 6,709,999,582 people who are on the earth, (as of 7/1/08), to only have ONE of these people be an appropriate loving and caring partner for YOU.

Statistically, if you were born on 7/1/08, that would give you a 0.0000000149031305856198000% Chance of finding someone to love!

Do you really believe that the odds are stacked that overwhelmingly against us here on Earth?

I don’t.

I believe that we have dozens, perhaps hundreds or thousands, of mortal counterparts that we can build a happy existence with.  Fate plays a hand to some degree, yes, fate being the geographic location of your existence, the personality you were born with, (whether you are an introvert or extrovert), the genetics that compose your outward appearance, how your parents raised you and thus how you are wired emotionally and psychologically and more, but I vehemently disregard that fate controls “who we are meant to be with”.

We CHOOSE who we are with (or not with and pining away after).

So when a client says to me, distraught over a crisis in their current love affair, "Are we meant to be together?" I have no choice but to say, “I cannot in good conscience answer that question as there is no such thing as “The ONE””.  This is frequently met with dead silence.

Yes, there may be a soul connection to this individual you love so much, yes, they may even be your “Soul Mate”, (Click HERE to gain understanding of what a Soul Mate actually is), but they are NOT the only “ONE” and it is not “Meant To BE” you must choose to MAKE IT BE!  And to top that off, they must also decide, hopefully concurrently, that they want you to be THEIR ONE.

So you’re relationship is in crisis, you don’t know if it is over, you are looking for relief, the easiest question to ask is “Are we meant to be together?”, it will provide you with instant validation and relief if an advisor tells you “yes, you are”, and drive you perhaps to despair if an advisor answers “No, you are not.”

Better questions to ask are “What can I do (if anything) to improve the situation”, or “What are the core issues and root causes of our relationship issues”, or “What do I need to work on internally to better cope with this crisis”.

These are questions that can be answered with true advice that can help you to better choose as to whether or not this individual truly is right for you and deserves to be in the “ONE” position in your life, rather than just trying to validate that your suffering will be worth it in the long run.

So if you do call me, and you do ask me, “Are we meant to be together, is he/she the one?” I will tell you, again, I cannot in good conscience answer that question as I do not believe that there is any such thing as “The One”.

Do the Math!!!!

Brightest Blessings,

Brigid Bishop

 

 

 Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

.  This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

 

 A Very Profound Question

To Dream The Impossible Dream? 

Are You “The Other Woman?”

Why Do People Cheat?

Surviving An Affair

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

He Left His Wife, Now What?

When The One We Love Is With Someone Else

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

The One, The Myth Exposed

 

 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

 

In my absence, if you are in need of an Advisor and do not have time to wait for an “Arranged Call”, please try one of the well-qualified Advisors in my group of personally recommended Readers:

 Brigid Bishop Recommends.

This Group of Readers is Invitation Only in order to maintain the integrity of the group.  All of these advisors are ethical and professional and I truly do recommend them highly.  I have had personal contact with all of them, they are not just random "picks" or "open to everyone" memberships, I do trust them and endorse them.

 

 

 

Astrology 101 by Brigid Bishop

Many people are familiar with astrology and are aware of their Sun Sign and the personality traits that are attributed to that sign.  Many also read their daily horoscopes, which are based solely on the astrololgical positions of the day in comparison to their sun sign........this is what I call "Bubble Gum" Astrology.

To really begin to understand Astrology, which is a SCIENCE, totally based on MATHEMATICS, you need to have what is called a NATAL CHART produced.  There are many, many free sites on the web that you can run your Natal Chart on to begin your lessons in Astrology.  If you call me I can give you a very intensive free site to begin your journey into personality analysis with Astrology.........

What is a Natal Chart?  A Natal Astrology Chart is produced by mathematically calculating your sidereal time at birth using your birth date, longitude and latitude of the location of your birth, and your time of birth.  The formula used produces your sidereal time at birth in order for you to produce an exact snapshot of the planetary positions at the moment of your entrance into our wonderful world.

The Natal Chart is a picture of the horizon at the moment of your birth.  The first significant mathematical product of the calculation of your chart is your "Rising Sign" or "Ascendant".  Before I get into what this means, allow me to describe exactly how a chart is presented and read.

A Natal Chart (there are thousands of different types of charts), for our purposes we will assume that when I use the words Astrology Chart in this blog we are referring to the Natal Chart, is presented as a circle cut into 12 pieces, or "Houses".  Each house controls a certain aspect of your personality, some of your houses will be empty, and some will contain planets.

In Astrological Terms, there are nine major planets we consider the placement of (there are also nodes and asteroids, but the average Astrology Novice isn't ready for that yet), so we will stick to the nine initial planets placed, which are The Sun, The Moon, Mars, Venus, Mercury, Neptune, Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto.  Each of these nine "planets" (the Moon is considered a planet in Astrological Interpretation) also controls certain aspects of your personality.

Each planet is residing in a certain "sign" at the time of your birth.  There are twelve signs and there are twelve Houses in your chart.  Each house has a natural ruler and also has a ruler based on your Astrology Chart. 

Ok, so back to the Rising Sign or Ascendant.  This is the sign that was on the Horizon at the moment of your birth.  The Ascendant will rule the first house in your Astrology Chart.  So, you can be a Sun Sign Aquarius and have any of the twelve signs (including Aquarius), as your Rising Sign.  For purposes of example we will use Gemini here as the Ascendant.  Your birth time is what is used to set your rising sign.  Each subsequent House will be ruled by the signs in order of Astrological Chronology, so Rising Sign of Gemini equals First House ruled by Gemini, Second House ruled by Cancer, Third House ruled by Leo, Fourth House ruled by Virgo, Fifth House ruled by Libra, Sixth House ruled by Scorpio, Seventh House (Descendant) ruled by Sagittarius, Eighth House ruled by Capricorn, Ninth House ruled by Aquarius, Tenth House ruled by Pisces, Eleventh House ruled by Aries and Twelfth House ruled by Taurus.  This sets the "Wheel" of your individual Astrology Chart.

Now, all nine planets are residing in certain Astrology Signs at the moment of your birth.  For instance, you could have The Moon in Pisces, that would place it in your Tenth House, and you have the Sun in Aquarius, so you have a Ninth House Sun, you may have Venus in Aquarius (Ninth House), Mars in Aquarius, Pluto in Virgo (Fourth House) and so on.

The ruler of each of your Houses is analyzed and the position of each of your planets is analyzed along with, now it gets deeper, the ASTROLOGICAL ASPECTS (the degrees you measure between planets), between each and every one of your planetary positions.

This is the SCIENCE of ASTROLOGY.

If your head isn't spinning by now I will take Lesson One a little further and share with you that your Sun Sign rules your inner personality, it is the core of your being, and it is what you are at a soul level, however your Rising Sign is the sign that controls your OUTWARD PERSONALITY.  It is the first impression that you make on people, it is who people "think" you are, but not the "inner you".

For example, have you ever known a person, known their sign, and thought "Geez, that woman is nothing like an Aquarius, they're supposed to be intelligent and altruistic and withdrawn, unemotional and cold, and she is the warmest, most outgoing person I know."  What you are seeing is that your Aquarian friend is extremely likely to have a Gemini Rising sign, someone who is extroverted and seeks to make friends, make you feel comfortable, very unlike the aloof Aquarius descriptives you read.  What is very important to understand is the person's entire chart, where is the Venus (how you love), where is the Mars (how you anger), where is the Moon (how you emote), etc. etc.

I will write more on this later, but I want you to try to grasp the concept of the chart, the Sun Sign and the Rising Sign before we get into further detail.

Your First House rules your Outward Personality.  The sign residing on the First House is how the world views you.  Any planetary placements in your first house will also intensify that outward personality.......

More on this subject will be blogged on a regular basis.

Brigid Bishop

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part.

 

Synastric Astrology by Brigid Bishop 

Calculating Soul Mate Connections with Astrology by Brigid Bishop

 Soul Mates by Brigid Bishop 

 

A Soul Mate (Soulmate) Story 

Understanding Soul Mates (Soulmates) by Brigid Bishop 

The Dating Game by Brigid Bishop

 

Sex and "The Silly"

Sex and "The Senile"

 

Astrology 101, The Third House

Astrology 101, The Second House

Astrology 101, The Fourth House

 

Visit Brigid Bishop to Find Out How Things Look!

 

Originally Posted 3/2007


 

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

 

Where are you at with your relationship style?

Independence?

In “Deep End”-ness

Co “Deep End”-ness

Inter “Deep End”-ness

 

Picture the realm of relationships as a big swimming pool.  You are in the deep end of the pool. 

If you are in “independent” mode, you are swimming around all by yourself, doing fine, getting out and diving in off the high dive, unaffected by the other swimmers around you.  You are an individual and you are not connecting with others at this time, you are focused on yourself and yourself alone.  You may take an occasional date with another swimmer, but you prefer to swim alone most of the time.

If you are in “codependent” mode, well, you won’t go in the water alone.  Someone must always be with you.  A lifeguard must always be around.  When you dive in you immediately swim over to another swimmer and begin to cling on to them, they frequently push you away.  You may feel like you are drowning and no one is helping you.  The more you try to cling to another swimmer, the more you are pushed away and you thrash around and swallow water and end up hanging on to the side of the pool coughing and crying.  It’s not much fun in the pool for you, but you keep trying.

If you are in “interdependent” mode, you have a great time at the relationship pool.  You have one special partner that you swim with on a regular basis.  You may synchronize your swim into a beautiful dance in the waters of relationship, when you go to the diving board to try a new move, your partner is there in the water below waiting and watching to be sure you are safe, spotting you while you dive, and you do the same for them.  When your swim time is over, you are both comfortable going your separate ways as you know that you will meet back at the pool again soon for another dip, and you feel secure about the other person.

I am a firm believer in interdependence.  Independence is fine, it is healthy, but in relationships we have to know how to let people in.  Independence can become lonely if we refuse to join in the fun going on in the relationship pool, but there are times when we want to be alone, perhaps we are healing over a bad breakup or just not ready because we have other priorities right now, raising children or career, etc., but don’t swim alone for so long that you forget how to connect.

Codependence is a horrible, anxiety ridden state to exist in.  We feel like we are nothing unless we can define ourselves by our relationships, behaviors while in codependent mode can escalate to cyber stalking, and worse, physical stalking.  We want others in our lives so bad that we drive them away because we don’t have the self-discipline to let our relationships develop naturally.  We tend to go through relationships faster and in higher numbers than most.  They all seem to start off promising enough, but within a month or two we are back on the side of the pool crying and coughing.  If you are in codependent mode, it may be wise for you to try the independent mode for several months to readjust your relationship goggles and your approach to relationships in general.  Once we have mastered independence, we have a much higher success rate at moving on to interdependence.

Ah, interdependence, to me, it is the way all healthy relationships should operate.  You and your loved one are secure in knowing that you are there for each other, you are capable of being together, happily, and also of pursuing other interests and friendships without fear or insecurity.  There is no need to check up on each other or doubt anything because you have established trust, respect and love.  To gain interdependence you and your partner must spend the necessary time in the relationship pool, getting to know each other and enjoying each other, but you must also learn to respect each other’s boundaries and to give each other space.

What is your style of swimming in the relationship pool?

 

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

 

Tough Love In The Garden of Eden

 

Careful What You Wish For!!

 

Relationship Autopsy

 

The Dating Game

 

The Geometry of Relationships

 

On The Outside Looking In

 

Need help adjusting your style? 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

Poetry by Brigid Bishop

 

Why Do People Cheat?

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