Brigid Bishop on Life, Love and The Art of Living

Brigid Bishop’s Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Guide to the Zodiac

Brigid Bishop’s Valentine’s Day Gift Giving Guide to the Zodiac

 

When we give gifts, we usually try to present the recipient with a present that we, ourselves, would appreciate.  The key to being a great “presenter” is to give a gift that will appeal to the recipients’ personality and psychological expectations and pleasure centers.

When giving a gift to a lover this Valentine’s Day, if you know what sign their Venus resides in, you should try to provide a gift relative to that sign.  If you only know your love’s Sun Sign, then use that for a guide.

Aries

New and shiny and sparkly, reflective, items that look new and reflect back to them!  Glass, diamonds, mirrors, etc. are materials that appeal to them.  Items that are personalized are very pleasant to them.  Red, black and white are their preferred color schemes.  Metallic wrapping paper is always a good idea.

Taurus

High quality is more important here than quantity.  Textures are very important, clothing must feel good against their skin, soft and silky, pleasing to touch.  Tickets to a show are not a good idea as Taureans would rather have an item they can hold onto than an experience to remember, but a gourmet meal at the finest restaurant in the city will work wonders.  Flowers make them cry and will be pressed in a special book and saved forever.  Colors are pastels and blue.

Gemini

Wrapping won’t matter here, it may not even be noticed!  Greens and yellows are there favorite colors and since the entire world around them fascinates them, you can go in just about any gift direction you choose!  A collection of little assorted and varied gifts is always a hit, the grab bag effect extends their pleasure.  Joke gifts are well received by this sign.  Books, books and more books, movies are a popular choice too!  Or, the book AND the movie too!

Cancer

Sentimentality at its’ most profound here.  Flowery wrapping paper, mushy cards that expound the depths of your feelings for them will be treasured forever.  Soft gifts (to the touch) are very pleasing.  A comfy, cozy blanket or shirt, warm socks or booties, something that says it will take care of them works wonders.  A gift that contains sentimental value to YOU will have them choking up instantaneously, like your favorite childhood stuffed animal.  Cancer colors are earth tones.

Leo

Do it big!  Even if a tiny present, put it in a big box with a giant bow!  They love to be the center of attention so send that singing telegram or the room full of balloons to their office.  Make sure it arrives when everyone is around to see how loved they are!  Flaming red, blazing orange and dead black are colors that will appeal to them.

Virgo

Think practical.  This is what they will appreciate more than anything.  Something that is useful in everyday life will tickle their fancy quite nicely.  Make it natural, all natural fibers in their clothing, hand woven baskets or gifts from the health food store.  Colors are brown, cream, wheat and khaki, humble says it best.

Libra

Cards, cards, cards, many of them to tell them how many different ways you love them!  Romance!!!  Flowers and jewelry are their favorites.  Scented candles, poems, romance, romance, romance!  Pastels, pinks, mauves, blues, reds are their colors.

Scorpio

Sexy.  Colors are black and blue.  The negligee’, the male version of said negligee’, a favorite perfume or aftershave will appeal.  Decadent.  Chocolate.  Think sensual.

Sagittarius

Anything about horses, the book "How to Live Like a Horse" would be an excellent choice here.  Anything fun!  A fun time, tickets to the circus, lottery tickets, sporting equipment, items to use when traveling, baggy sweaters, take them to a fun party.  Colors are purple, royal blue and white.

Capricorn

No matter what it is, make sure it is the BEST of it’s like.  Books on how to better oneself, how to get ahead, biographies of the ultra-successful, anything that reeks of success will appeal to them.  Green, black and silver are their colors.  Items that they can use at work are always popular with them, anything to help them stay organized will be appreciated.

Aquarius

Any Aquarian you know will have some type of current passion, find out what it is, and gift accordingly.  Since these passions may change hourly, make sure you wait until right before the holiday to shop for it.  Electronic gadgets, puzzles, brain teasers, unusual and hard to find objects, either ultra modern or ancient in nature will all have appeal.  Velcro and zippers turn them on.  Colors are white, electric blue, yellow and green, and oh, they LOVE stripes!

Pisces

Appeal to their imaginations, put a little magic into their gift.  Velvety soft clothing, velvety soft foods, velvety soft wrapping paper and cards will do well.  Poetry, mystical books, a psychic reading, an astrology chart will also make them happy.  The colors on a peacock feather on the colors for Pisces, and purple.  They also tend to like coconuts for some odd reason. 

 

 

Published Friday, February 08, 2008 4:10 PM by Brigid Bishop

When is it Appropriate to Introduce Your Date to Your Children?

Many people are in such a hurry to progress their new relationships that they prematurely introduce what later become "casual dating experiences" to their children.

So, when is it appropriate to introduce your date to your kids?

When we find ourselves in the role of a single parent it is inevitable that at some point we are going to want to enter the social arena of dating again.

The wise parent will refrain from exposing their children to those we are just casually dating as we know that children are subject to building expectations and fears when their parents make any types of changes, including beginning to date.

When we are finding ourselves in need of adult companionship it is important to shield our children from building these fears and expectations whenever possible. Your children should be left out of your adult social life until such a time that you and your new partner have agreed that you are going to be serious about building a relationship.

It is very tempting to the single parent to include their children in the dating process. A trip to an amusement park or movie theatre may seem harmless enough with that cute date you have been seeing for a few weeks, however, remember that children project your romantic partners into the complimentary parental role. These projections can be positive or negative in nature. If you are unsure in any way as to whether this person will be around next week, it is better to exclude the children. You do not want to place any undue stress on your children nor do you want to build any unrealistic expectations in your children.

Dating openly in front of your impressionable offspring on a casual basis will build a sense of insecurity in your child. How many prospective partners will cycle in and out of your life before their impressionable young eyes? How many will begin to build an attachment to someone you are dating only to have it end abruptly when you break it off?

Before introducing your current love interest to your youngster or teenager, review your own relationship history. Have you made good, solid choices and had longevity in your relationships or have you had a series of brief but heated affairs? If your relationship history falls into the latter category refrain from introducing your children into the situation until you have well established the new relationship no matter how long it may take.

If you are a person who seems to make good choices and your past relationships have been steady and long-lived you can make the introduction once you and your new partner have decided to be mutually exclusive and committed to building a future together. This may take several months. In a healthy situation this decision can usually be reached in the three to six month period after dating commences.

Dependent upon the age of your children, they may well be aware that you are dating someone. Curious children may even ask to meet the individual in question. Unless a true relationship is developing where the party in question is likely to become an integral part of your life and the lives of your children, it is wise to keep the relationships segregated.

What if you meet someone while your children are with you and then begin to date or begin dating someone whom your children are acquainted with like a baseball coach or youth leader? The same rules apply. Until you are certain that you are going to be in an ongoing relationship with the person in question, keep the relationships separate.

If you allow your children to meet a person or persons that move in and out of your life on a frequent basis you are going to create a sense of insecurity in your child. It is human nature to try to make an impression on the children of someone you are interested in romantically and you do not want anyone to have the power to make an impression on your children from the projected position of your "partner" unless they are going to be an integral part of your life. Children do not need to be exposed to anyone you are dating until you are relatively certain that they are on the way to becoming your significant other, otherwise, they are insignificant to your children.

Copyright © 2009 Brigid Bishop

   This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Should Women Feel Trapped in a Marriage that Just Doesn't Work?

In an age when we have a firm legal system in place to ensure the protection of children and divorced spouses and the continuance of financial support, there is no reason on earth that anyone, male or female, should feel trapped in a dysfunctional marriage. We all deserve to be happy and contented in our lives. When a marriage becomes too difficult to tolerate, separation and divorce can allow us to start anew and seek happiness again.

Some of the top reasons that women in particular may feel trapped in a troubled marriage are religious obligations, financial (lifestyle) concerns, children and fear of being alone.

Perhaps we should address these top concerns individually.

Religious obligations vary based upon faith and denomination, however, discussing your concerns with your religious leader can help you to determine if leaving the marriage is right for you. Are the difficulties in your marriage irreconcilable? If so, any professional clergy will be able to advise you as to how the termination of the marriage will affect your standing in your religion. If you religion is extremely orthodox and does not allow divorced members to continue to worship, you may have to choose a new spiritual outlet that is more forgiving of human error. A religion has no authority to dictate that you must remain married if you are so extremely unhappy that you feel trapped.

Many women in the past felt trapped in dysfunctional marriages due to financial dependency. That is not the case today, at least not in the United States. Our family courts and domestic relation sections ensure that spousal support and child support requirements are enforced. Most modern women are perfectly capable of supporting themselves and their children if necessary and should be able to maintain the same lifestyle for themselves and the children when combining their earnings with support received from the estranged spouse. The bottom line is, is maintaining a material lifestyle worth enduring the marriage continuing? The assumption here is that the marriage is causing extreme discomfort and unhappiness. There is no reason to feel trapped, you can leave if you are unhappy and your spouse will be obligated to contribute to your support and the support of any children you may have.

Staying together for the sake of the children is an argument for maintaining a difficult marriage since life began. At the core of this argument are two key factors, one is maintaining a standard of living that the children are accustomed to, this is addressed above concerning financial dependency. The second key factor is maintaining relationships with both parents, having a father and a mother actively involved in the children's upbringing. Again, we must cite the court systems of today which, even in the most difficult of divorce proceedings, will regulate visitation schedules and custody issues. Unless a parent is unfit, there is no reason why they cannot continue to have a healthy and productive relationship with their children. Children being raised in an unhappy and stressful household will fare much better if they are in a happy home, regardless of whether there are two parent figures or one on premises. Psychologically it is more important for children to see a positive resolution to conflict rather than continued endurance of an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. Teaching your children how to be happy is much more productive than teaching your children how to submit to stress and practice conformity to societal standards.

A fear of being alone once one has exited their marriage can keep some women in a difficult marriage much longer than is healthy or necessary. Starting over after divorce is a major life stressor and can keep a woman frozen in time, unable to act, out of shear fear of the unknown. Many social outlets today can help a newly divorcing woman to transition into being single again. Singles clubs run by churches and social organizations, volunteer work, returning to the work force, all of these events will widen the woman's social circle and allow opportunity to build a new support network. The recently divorced woman may be quite surprised to find that isolating within a bad marriage had her feeling much more alone than she is post divorce when she has the freedom to socialize and interact at will.

Should women feel trapped into staying in marriages that do not work? Absolutely not. The only one who can trap a woman into remaining in a bad marriage is the woman herself. Freedom is just one decision away.

I AM NOT YOUR SCRUBBING BUBBLE!

I AM NOT YOUR SCRUBBING BUBBLE!

Remember those old bathroom foam cleaning commercials with the little scrubbing bubbles calling out “We work hard so you don’t have toooooooo……” as they spun down the drain?

Think about them the next time a person in your life, be it an adult son or daughter, sister, brother, lover or husband tries to force you into the role of “enabler” in their life.  Just conjure up that image in your mind, think of yourself being sucked down the drain of codependency, and say “NO”.

They might be asking you to add them to your cell phone plan, lend them money, clean their apartment for them, let them use your car, buy them groceries, forgive them for not holding to their word for the umpteenth time, or any one of the thousands of manipulative forms of assistance they seek when they are just too dysfunctional to behave like responsible adults.

Codependent relationships are not limited to substance abusers and their kin, they are real and alive in every relationship dynamic out there.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping your loved ones, nothing at all, the question is, is your loved one doing the work required to help themselves?

Are they just a little short on cash, or have they been unemployed for a lengthy period of time, or unable to manage their cash flow or hold a job?  Everyone comes up short on occasion, especially in the current economy, but some of us are scrubbing bubbles and some of us are not.

If you are working diligently every day and using your resources wisely, why should you take your hard earned cash and hand it over to the adult child who has not been gainfully employed in six months?

When you saved regularly when times were good and paid all your bills on time and your significant other played and partied and scattered his funds to the wind without setting up a reserve, why should you add him to your cell phone plan when his is shut off and increase your monthly debt?

When your husband golfed all summer and bought himself new clubs, a new bag, nice equipment and turned down overtime to do so and finds himself short on the car payment, should you take money out of your pocket and make up the difference?

Absolutely not!

Taking care of yourself and your own responsibilities and ensuring that your resources are allotted as you budget is not selfish, it’s wise and healthy.

Will your loved one have problems because you don’t help them out?  Probably, but if they are an adult, they need to solve their problems for themselves, you are not their “rescuer”.

It is not your job to make them happy! That is a job that every man (and woman) must do for themselves!

Stop being an enabler!  Will you lose the love of your significant other if you do not let him borrow your car and use up all of your gas to run errands?  NO! If you do, you never had it!

Remember, “I am NOT your Scrubbing Bubble!”

You work hard so that you can enrich your own life, you don’t work hard so that your adult child, lover, husband or friend DOESN’T have to!

Please do not make the mistake of thinking that providing your loved with their own private “bail out” is going to make them grateful, thankful or respectful.  Quite the opposite is true. 

When a normal healthy adult knows that they can come to you and just dump all of their troubles on your doorstep and you start “scrubbing them away” for them when they should be cleaning up their own mess, the only thing that is going to happen is you will find yourself endlessly scrubbing that doorstep as more and more and more problems will find their way onto your stoop.

The loved one now knows that he or she can manipulate you.  Your adult daughter can’t afford daycare?  Grandma will either babysit or pay for it.  Think about it.  If she has the money for a weekly manicure at the beauty salon, why should you pay for her daycare expenses?

The boyfriend who has lost yet another job and still can’t pay his half of the rent happily takes a few weeks off to “chill” before launching his next job search is perfectly comfortable sleeping until noon and playing video games and surfing facebook all day while you are up at six to leave for your full time job that you’ve had for four years?  He never seems to quite “catch up” with his half of the expenses.  Why?  Because YOU WORK HARD SO HE DOESN’T HAVE TO! Is that why you are working so hard?  I think not.

Hold your adult loved ones to the same standard that you hold yourself.  No exceptions, no excuses and you will find yourself having happier and healthier adult-to-adult relationships.

Copyright © 2009 Brigid Bishop

.  This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

Are You “The Other Woman?”

Why Do People Cheat?

Surviving An Affair

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

He Left His Wife, Now What?

When The One We Love Is With Someone Else

Independence, Codependence and Interdependence

The One, The Myth Exposed

 

 

Visit Brigid Bishop

 

 

If I am not available, and you cannot wait for my return,

please try the well-qualified Advisors in My Group

Brigid Bishop Recommends

To Ensure That You Continue to Receive Quality Advice.

What Do Your Children Really Need to Know About Your Divorce?

Children are resilient and as parents we tend to forget that they are and try to protect them from anything which will cause them pain and discomfort.

When a set of parents decide to divorce, it is important that they can at least agree on how they are going to communicate this to the children that they share.  Divorce of one’s parent has the potential to become life-long psychological baggage if not handled in a nurturing and compassionate fashion.

The circumstances surrounding the cause of the divorce will play a key factor in exactly how and what is shared with the offspring involved.

If the divorce is due to basic incompatibility and there are no extenuating factors such as abuse involved, the children can be told what to expect in a straightforward manner.  The age of the children is the second factor to be considered.  The younger the child, the more simple the explanation and foundation for expectations should be.

In the event that the situation is more complicated, that there is spousal abuse, an extremely upsetting extramarital affair, substance abuse, abandonment or some other serious factor, the parents should be sure to use age appropriate filtering of information.  In these cases, it is most likely that only one parent will be doing the communicating with the children and care should be taken to allow the children to maintain a reasonable level of respect for the erring parent.  A laundry list of the absent parent’s faults and misdeeds will only harm your children, if the absent parent is not going to see the children on a regular basis after the divorce, the children do need to be advised of that fact.  For a young child it can be expressed as “you are probably not going to see mommy/daddy for a very long time, but I will be here for you”.   If the child is old enough to understand that a volatile situation has come to an end, a simple and honest statement of “I do not know when you will see mommy/daddy again” will suffice.

The focus should be on what the children can expect in the future as far as the availability of the absent parent and how their lives will be directly, and indirectly, affected in an honest and realistic manner.  Instilling false hopes in a child of any age can be shattering to the psyche.

When you are informing your children that you are divorcing the most important element of the information you share is that you lay a very firm and realistic foundation for the expectations that the children will have post divorce.  If you are not the parent who will be in majority custody you need to be absolutely certain that you will be able to live up to any visitation schedule that you plant in your children’s thoughts.

Children of all ages tend to trust their parents implicitly.  Do not sugar coat the future for them.  Be realistic in your description of the future, painful though it may be, it will save the children much pain in the future if you exceed or meet their expectations rather than fall short of them.

Your children do not need to know why you are divorcing, a simple statement that the marriage has ended but that you will both still be their parents is enough.

Answer their questions as honestly as possible and begin to familiarize them with how their schedules will be affected. 

If you are going to have  a visitation schedule with your children inform them of that schedule and by all means stick to it.  Try to keep as much stability in your parental relationships with your children as is possible and share with them the fact that you will still continue to be present in their lives for those routine activities you usually and customarily attend to.

If you are the custodial parent inform them of any changes in residence or schools they can expect and reassure them that you love them and will still be there for them.

If you are the parent who is exiting the home, tell your children where you will be living.  Take your children to your new residence and show them around, show them what space will be theirs, assure them that they are going to have a second home where they can spend time with you.

If you are moving some distance away and your visitation schedule will be less frequent you should take advantage of today’s technology such as web cams and video conferencing to spend time with them on a regular basis.  Invest in the equipment and spend time teaching them how to utilize it.  Inform your children of how to contact you even if you have to buy them their own cell phones to do so.  Your children need to know that they can reach out to you whenever they need to.

The responsibility is yours, you are the adults.  Although anger and resentment can well be boiling between you and your soon-to-be ex spouse, you must make every effort to lay a solid foundation of realistic expectations and communication lines between the children and each parent.

Remember that although you are likely to be in emotional turmoil at this juncture you need to instill a sense of security and safety in your children to protect their emotional and psychological health.

Copyright © 2009 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

New Readers - Fresh Perspectives

Many times we feel the need to gain some fresh, new insight into our concerns. 

We may have tried and true advisors that we rely on, but they may not always be available, or we may feel that we want a pair of fresh eyes to look at our situation.

If you are looking for some fresh perspectives on your current issues, please try the advisors in my group "New Readers - Fresh Perspectives".

These readers are new to the Keen family and may be able to offer you fresh insight and guidance.

If you, yourself, are an advisor on Keen and would like to join this group, please be aware that you must be a new advisor with less than 2000 rating points and that only ONE listing per advisor will be accepted to the group.  If you submit multiple listings, only one will be accepted and the rest will be "rejected".  Once your listing hits the 2000 point mark, it will be removed from the group, and if you have done well with the clients that you worked with to that point I will invite you to join "Brigid Bishop Recommends", a group of advisors that I have worked with personally and highly recommend to the Keen audience. 

*Brigid Bishop Recommends is by invitation only, no unsolicited requests to join are accepted.*

So for fresh insights, check out some of the newer Keen advisors, you may be pleasantly surprised at the talent this group contains! 

If you prefer to work with the Seasoned Professionals of the site, please refer to the group "Brigid Bishop Recommends".

Thank You!


I will be unavailable tonight, Saturday, January 30th, so please try some of the readers in these groups in my absence!

Around The Wheel With Aquarius

Around The Wheel with Aquarius

(Compatibility Profiles)

by Brigid Bishop

Here are some basic “Rules of Thumb” for Aquarian Compatibility Profiles. Of course, these are based on Sun Sign only, in order to truly plot compatibility it is best to have a professional compatibility profile done between the two charts, but this is a general description of the core energies to be expected.

Aquarius Male and Aries Female

This is a fairly good mix. The Aquarian Male will enjoy the fire and spunk of the Aries Female. Her independent streak and regal bearing will attract and fascinate him. She will be his intellectual equal and quite possibly his physical superior, being more active and on the go than the Aquarian Man of ideas and ideals. The trigger points usually stem from the Arian need to be more self centered and the Aquarian need to see the benefit to the larger picture.

Aquarius Female and Aries Male

This mix can be a bit more difficult than it’s reverse as the Aquarian Female will have a strong masculine energy which can cause the Arian Male to repel away a bit. She likes his strength and generosity, but his tendency toward self-centeredness will be hard for her to understand. He likes her detachment, it challenges him, but at the same time he longs to be the center of her universe, which she can never quite make happen, her universe is too multi-layered to have just one center.

Aquarius Male and Taurus Female

Both signs are “Fixed”, as in “unmovable”. The sensuality of the Taurean Female will draw the Aquarian male, but her need for earthbound pleasures and belongings will not match well with his idealism and daydreaming. She will appear to him as materialistic and he will appear to her as “flighty”. Sexual chemistry may be very strong, but without other positive aspects in the charts, the pairing is difficult at best.

Aquarius Female and Taurus Male

His “bull in the china shop” approach to life will be appealing to her at first, as it is so different from her own delicate and airy approach, it makes her feel more feminine to be around him, but when her independent side rears it’s pretty head, sparks can fly. The sexual chemistry here may be strong, but long term compatibility may be difficult without softer, more positive aspects within the charts. Both are fixed signs and need to be in control.

Aquarius Male and Gemini Female

A good pairing! Their high intellects are finely matched, they communicate together very well. The Aquarian Male’s philosophical approach to life matches well with the Gemini Female’s need to analyze life from polar opposite angles. Discussions between these two can lead to many late night conjuring and projections that will keep both engaged and interested in each other.

Aquarius Female and Gemini Male

A positive match but the danger here is that there may be a little too much air swirling around between them, living in the realm of ideas and thoughts, rather than putting their words into action. As they are both idea people, unless one of the personalities brings some fire (for action) and water (for emotion) into the mix, they may just drift endlessly in their own little fantasy world.

Aquarius Male and Cancer Female

This is a difficult match without other positive aspects in the two charts, the Aquarian Male is all air and the Cancer Female is the most watery sign of the zodiac. When you mix air and water you get a kind of “mist” dampening the positive energy between the two, which is why more elemental factors like fire are needed to turn the mist into steam. The Cancer Female is very emotional. The Aquarian Male is not. They will have a difficult time understanding each other. The independent Aquarian man will not like having the Cancer Crab’s claws locked into him. He will feel like she is trying to pull him under the surface of the ocean and will struggle to break free. The Cancer woman will lose the claw before she lets go.

Aquarius Female and Cancer Male

A better mix than the reverse genders, the biological energies are a little more suited to survival of the relationship here than the opposite mix. The Aquarian Female will feel loved and cared for, and although she may not know how to “intellectualize” his actions to understand them, they will make her feel good. Her independent streak will still create a struggle from time to time, but men being more outwardly focused can balance it to the point that they can cope if the love is truly there. The Cancer Male will find her truly fascinating and will learn to hold on loosely for the benefit of the relationship if other aspects are positive.

Aquarius Male and Leo Female

Opposites do attract at times, and when these two are well-balanced this pairing can be extremely complimentary to each other. The Aquarian Male loves her energy, her strength, her loyalty and the Leo Female loves his intelligence, his independence and his loyalty. These two can literally conquer worlds together and learn much from each other, it’s all about balance.

Aquarius Female and Leo Male

Here we truly have polar opposites, but opposites create and encourage balance. He is strong where she is weak. She is clear-sighted when his vision blurs. They will encourage each other to reach their goals and feed each other’s ambitions. These two truly have the energy to become a real “power couple”.

Aquarius Male and Virgo Female

This pairing is one of those that is “all or nothing”. The Mercurial intellect of the Virgo Woman will be extremely appealing to the Aquarian Male, creating fertile ground for clear and productive communication. The Virgo Female may be a little too “earth-bound” for the Aquarius Male’s imaginative wanderings unless other aspects are positive.

Aquarius Female and Virgo Male

She may find him too rigid. He may find her to flighty. Communication can be excellent between these two, but often times they take opposing points of view and expend all of their energy trying to convince each other to switch sides, so to speak. Without other positive aspects in the charts, this is a difficult pairing.

Aquarius Male and Libra Female

This is a very promising combination. The Libra Woman’s need to weigh things out and consider situations from all angles is a wonderful sounding board for all of the imaginative Aquarian Male’s ideas and personal philosophies. There exists a strong chemical attraction between these two that can actually make the independent Aquarian want to settle down and enjoy the beauty of life with his beautiful Libran Woman.

Aquarius Female and Libra Male

This pairing is a set up for best friends and life partners if ever there was one. The Libra Male is perfectly capable of enduring the Aquarian Females need to wander and explore many different facets of life without becoming insecure or controlling. The independent Aquarian Woman appreciates this and is more than happy to invite him along on her journey and share all that life has to offer with him.

Aquarius Male and Scorpio Female

Although traditionally astrologers state that this is a difficult pairing, in my experience and observations I find this to be quite the opposite. The Aquarian Male is not usually thought of as a very sexual sign, but when paired with a Scorpio Woman this changes into heat and intensity. Sexual experimentation and a drive to please each other physically can create a strong chemical bond between these two that is nearly unbreakable.

Aquarius Female and Scorpio Male

Tradition may state that this is not a grand pairing, but the inventiveness and imagination of the Aquarian Woman will keep the Scorpio Male more fascinated and intrigued than with any other woman in the zodiac. The Scorpion feels that each time he takes her into his arms he is holding a different woman because she uses that imagination to keep that spark eternally burning. This is a very sexually charged pairing.

Aquarius Male and Sagittarius Female

This is truly a fun couple! They can be open and honest and free with each other. Neither the Aquarian Male nor the Sagittarian Female has much use for conventional relationships and love freedom while they value honesty. This couple is quite capable of loving each other and the world outside simultaneously without experiencing difficulties with security, trust or possessiveness. Talk about fun! These two know how to have it!

Aquarius Female and Sagittarius Male

Travel around the world and then back again along the way all the while sharing secrets and opening their hearts to each other is what these two will do given the opportunity. Bluntly honest to a fault between the two of them, yet ever trusting and loving. These two will move through life having the grandest of times and even when outwardly appearing “settled” they will always roam together in their minds.

Aquarius Male and Capricorn Female

The Aquarian Male appreciates the Capricorn Females hard work and stabilizing force in his life. The Capricorn Female can keep the Aquarian Male firmly planted on planet earth while he travels astrally and she supports his idealism, perhaps even envies it, but she will keep doing everything that she can to contribute to dreams and visions. The Capricorn Female can motivate the Aquarian Male into being just a bit more down to earth in nature without creating any resentment or discord.

Aquarius Female and Capricorn Male

The Aquarian Female will feel like the Capricorn Male is trying to be her father figure, and just as she did with her biological father, she will rebel against him. Although if other aspects in the charts are positive, the Capricorn Male may be able to lighten up as needed and just keep her stable, if they are not in existence the Aquarian Female will just disappear into another universe when he becomes too overbearing.

Aquarius Male and Aquarius Female

These two can be best friends, lovers, exes that get along and just about anything else you can imagine when it comes to relationships. Both are flighty and need space, their relationships are likely to provide plenty of freedom, so much so that they both may find each other with different partners without even realizing it if they don’t pay attention, but there will never be any resentment or long-term anger if that happens as they truly know how to be “friends for life”.

Aquarius Male and Pisces Female

The Aquarian Male loves the fact that the Pisces Female can dream right along beside him and add to those dreams in her own sensitive and intuitive way. He doesn't feel the need for independence as strongly with this sign as he does with the others, as she and her dreamy ways bring him a sense of inner peace. Someone has to remember to go to the grocery store here or you two might just dream away!!! Wake up!!!

Aquarius Female and Pisces Male

The Aquarian Female will feel like the Pisces Male is a bit over-sensitive at times, and despite her own active imagination, she will want him to take his head out of the clouds and put those dreams to work! If well aspected, she can be the "driver" in the relationship making for a great pair, but if other aspects do not encourage this, the Aquarian Female will move on to a more productive partner.

Around the Wheel with Aries

Around the Wheel with Pisces

Want To Seduce a Pisces?

.

.

.

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?

 

by Brigid Bishop

 

My answer to this statement is no.

There are far too many reasons why people cheat to begin with to be able to cover it with a blanket statement like this.

In my professional practice as a Relationship Coach, I speak to literally thousands of people on all sides of this relationship dilemma.

I find that the primary reason for women to cheat is that they are "piggy-backing" their relationships. Frequently they are caught up in a codependent cycle and cheat on their primary relationship in the pursuit of a new partner.

Once a new partner has been successfully attained, these women typically return to monogamous behavior, and as long as the current relationship remains satisfying, they remain faithful.

When men cheat, they are more frequently doing so for sexual gratification, and although there are many men who enjoy and pursue relationships that are explicitly sexual outside of their primary relationship, I also find men that actually do fall in love with the other woman.

At times, they are unable to leave the primary relationship due to familial obligations and maintain concurrent relationships, thus prolonging a state of infidelity, however, there are men who want to follow their hearts' desire and leave their primary relationship to begin a new primary relationship with the other partner.

Because a relationship starts while one,(or both), partners are being unfaithful to someone does not automatically preclude them to repeating the pattern.

It also holds true that if someone has cheated on you in the past, they are not necessarily going to continue to cheat moving forward, as long as the core issue that initially caused the cheating is resolved.

If a former cheater is happy and satisfied it is highly unlikely that they will wander again.

What prevents a cheater from cheating again is understanding the root cause of why the cheating occurred in the first place. Yes, there are habitual cheaters, but these are the minority not the majority.

The majority of "cheaters" do so because there is a dissatisfaction in their current relationship, remove that dissatisfaction and you no longer have a cheater.

 

Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

 

For More Insights on Relationships by Brigid Bishop, Please Click Here.

What Women Want

 

I am Available for calls Weekdays from 11 a.m. until 1 a.m. EST

and Occassionally Available on Weekends.

If you cannot wait for my return, please try the wonderful readers in my group,

 Brigid Bishop Recommends, to ensure that you continue to receive quality advice.

Thank You!

 

Stop, Drop and Roll!

 

*Brigid Bishop, often imitated, never duplicated*

What Do You Need to be Happy?

What Do You Need to be Happy?

 

What is it that you require in order to be happy?

Are you already happy and not in need of anything in particular?  Good for you!  You probably are one of the people who will not read this blog, so I will address those that feel that something is missing in their quality of life preventing them from being contented (happy).

Is it financial safety and security?

Many of us in these difficult economic times are back down at the bottom of the Maslow Pyramid hierarchy of needs.  At the safety level, we require security of body, employment, resources, morality, safety of the family, of our health and of our property.

This is not unusual, when the economy takes a downturn, I would venture to guess that at the closure of 2008 the majority of us know of someone who is dealing with the threat of foreclosure, may be considering taking our children out of private schools, and is concerned about job security.

It is difficult indeed to be happy when basic survival and quality of life is at risk.

We can take control over these security risks to some degree, we can search for a new type of employment, downsize our home, refinance, but it is difficult.  These factors lay a foundation for the balance of our energy and when these foundational building blocks of our lives begin to shift, we may feel it in all areas of our life.

It is difficult to maintain optimism during these times, but it is possible.  We do as much as we can to cement our foundations and we give thanks for the positives that still remain, we weather the storm and prepare for standing our ground or possibly rebuilding.

Our spirituality may help us to endure difficult times at this level and may restore us on the emotional level but we are at risk for depression and high anxiety and must stay aware that life runs in cycles and that this cycle too will pass.

Perhaps you are feeling that you are okay at the safety and security level, a little nervous, but not being affected too harshly, in that case you are probably feeling more that you need love and a sense of belonging to be happy.

Do you need to feel loved and to feel a sense of belonging?

I would venture to say that eighty percent of the clients I am working with are at this level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Feeling love and partnership, (belonging), would bring the majority of the seekers I speak with a sense of happiness. 

At this level we seek friendship, family and sexual intimacy. 

We may find that in finding sexual intimacy we are falling short of that feeling of happiness we seek.  It may be simple enough to find willing sexual partners, but not so easy to find that combination of friendship and sexual intimacy that is the foundation of what we commonly refer to as love.

How do we improve our chances of finding a fulfilling relationship?

It is not easy.

We must learn to differentiate love and sex.

Sex is chemical and can lay a firm foundation for love, but friendship is psychological and emotional and is truly the cement that holds a sexually charged partnership together.

Sexual chemistry can be immediate, like a thunderbolt, whereas friendship, although at times immediate, usually takes patience and understanding, taking the time to get to know someone.

When we delay our sexual gratification and take the time to truly get to understand another person on a “friendship” level and create that bond of affection and concern we have a much better chance at finding our happiness at this level.

There is no magic formula, no rule of thumb for how long it takes, but history and experience prove that the more you know someone before handing your heart over to them, the higher your chances of success in forging that bond we refer to as love.

Perhaps we feel we have already met our love but we are having difficulty transitioning from friendship or casual sex to true intimacy? 

If that is the case, the best thing to do is to move things back to the ground level, remove the sexual activity and focus on the friendship again, you may or may not get to the level of sexual intimacy you desire, but you will be able to see things in a broader perspective.  Letting go frequently allows the sexual chemistry to reignite into a more passionate connection, yes, it may not, but it frees you to seek the love you desire elsewhere rather than treading water in a “friends with benefits” situation.  If love is what you seek, a friend with benefits is only a purgatory that you confine yourself to.

Perhaps we feel that we have met our love but have lost them and feel that only in regaining this love can we find true happiness?

At times, we have found the love we need and for whatever reason, something has gone wrong and we no longer have that love in our lives.  How much energy should we put into regaining that love? 

This is one of the most difficult situations to calculate.

Each situation is different, however, in general, if initial direct attempts at reconciliation fail, it is best to accept the loss and move forward as best as one can.  The old adage, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” holds true here.  If the love is meant to rekindle, you cannot force it, nor should you put your life on hold waiting for it, you must accept the ending as a clean break and begin to move forward with your life.

Truly, you can find happiness elsewhere, there is no one person who defines whether or not you are happy, you, yourself define whether or not you are content.  In holding on and hoping for a lovers’ return you are losing opportunities for new love to enter your life, that can, actually, make you happy.

The best practice is to move forward, yes your lover may return, but when and if that love does resurface should not be the sole factor in whether or not you are happy, it is not healthy. 

In moving forward, we frequently find a new love that is better for us psychologically and emotionally because that lover allows themselves to be available to us, the key to intimacy.

When a desired love object is not available to us emotionally, psychologically or physically we are dealing with the extreme opposite of intimacy, seclusion, and this is something that we are incapable of changing, it must come from within the other person.

If we have love and safety, we may well feel that a heightened sense of esteem will bring us happiness.

Will esteem make you happy?

Do you want to be respected, do you have a high sense of self-esteem, do you want broader recognition of your achievements?

If so, then you are higher up on the pyramid, you have a firm foundation of security and love and you are ready to receive the acclaim of your fellow man.  You will work hard to achieve your goals and gain continued recognition and this will make you happy.

Hard work and fortitude is likely what is needed to bring you to your happy plateau.

Are you ready to self-actualize?

If you are, you are truly on “top of the heap”.  In Maslow’s theory, this is where true happiness can be found, your physiological, psychological, emotional and ego-driven needs have all been met.  You are ready to be the best you can be, and this will bring you true happiness of the highest sort.

At this point you can be creative, helpful, nonjudgmental, charitable and accepting. 

You are ready to help others to achieve their happiness as well.

So, where are you on Maslow’s pyramid?  What do you need to be happy?  What can you do to achieve your goals?

 

 

Copyright © 2008 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

 

I Will Survive!

I Will Survive!

 

Tips for Surviving a Break Up

 

 

We’ve all gone through it. 

Those terrible break ups when we just don’t even feel like getting out of bed in the morning.

Of course, we wonder, if this “is it”, if this is a final and permanent break or if there is a light at the end of the tunnel shining on our loved one’s return.

You can call me for a Tarot Reading at any time during your break up and we can examine and interpret the cards to help you get a better grip on the situation, and the cards will foretell whether or not your love is likely to return or not, but regardless of the answer that you receive, here are some practical tips for surviving this difficult period.

First and foremost, take care of yourself.

You are likely to feel lethargic, disinterested and possibly may be having problems sleeping or sleeping too much.

You may experience an increase or decrease in appetite.

You may find it hard to socialize.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms to a point where it is disrupting your ability to live your life in a “normal” manner, like missing work, drastic gain or loss in weight, etc., please go to your regular doctor for a physical to determine whether or not you are suffering from a clinical depression, it is possible that this event is a trigger event to throw your brain chemistry off and cause this condition to become active in you and it does require medical treatment.

Second of all, use this time wisely to examine the relationship in question.  In my article, Relationship Autopsy, you can find guidelines for performing this mental examination.

Next, a very difficult step, this is the step that the majority of women who contact me for professional tarot readings and relationship coaching find the most difficult.

You need to move on!

How soon after a breakup should you start to date?

As soon as you can possibly bear it!

Everyone is different on their relationship clock and you may feel hesitant to date others because you are so hoping that your broken relationship will resume.  You are afraid that if you go out there and date other men that your estranged partner will give up any notion of returning to you.

This is absolutely not the case!

In fact, it is usually quite the opposite.

When your lost love senses or finds out that you have begun investigating other opportunities he will, (if he has any inclination to do so in the first place), begin his journey back into your life even more quickly than if you put your life on hold waiting to see what happens.

How do I know this?

First of all, I know this for a fact from my own personal life experience.

Second of all, as a Professional Tarot Reader and Relationship Coach, who has performed over 30,000 professional consultations with clients all over the world, I have seen it literally thousands of times.

Is there a risk that if you move on that he will not return?

Absolutely.

But that risk exists even if you are sitting home by the phone waiting for him to call, or watching his myspace page, or checking to see if he is logged in to Instant Messenger.

Would you rather spend your time apart sitting around using all of your energy building anxiety within yourself trying to determine his moves, or would you rather use that time to be out and about socializing and meeting new people, taking your focus off of your pain, if at least temporarily, and perhaps meet some great people in the process?

The reason that I find most women loathe to begin the moving forward process is that they do not have a realistic perspective on what “Dating” actually is.

The majority of women I work with look at Dating as a prelude to a relationship, when in fact, there is such a thing as “Casual Dating”, which means, hey, you may not think of your Friday night first date as “relationship material”, but he is a nice enough guy, within your scale of acceptability for socialization and it beats spending the weekend all alone.

Casual Dating is just that.

You are keeping company for the evening, you already realize that this not someone you want to fall in love with or build a relationship with, but his company is pleasant enough to pass the evening, or perhaps even a few evenings with.

There is no pressure as you know that you aren’t “into him”, so you can relax and just enjoy the dinner or the movie or the show you are attending. 

Casual dating also gives you solid practice in the fine art of “Accepting or Rejecting” male behaviors.

I cover this in great detail in my article, “The Dating Game”.

When you are not emotionally invested in a male, it gives you a fine playground to practice without feeling that intense anxiety we tend to feel when we are dealing with someone we are in love with.  The risk of losing their interest does not come to bear pressure on us as we already are aware that we are not seeing this particular gentleman in the hopes of building a long term relationship, we are “casually dating” for purposes of socialization.

If there is one thing I wish women could grasp and hold, it is that each gentleman we date does NOT have to be a black or white, yes or no, Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong, they can actually be somewhere in between, someone to spend time with until the love of our lives return or we meet our next Mr. Right.

When casually dating, it is wise to refrain from sexual intimacy, as Feminine Energy women bond through the sex act.

It is also wise to remember that while we are on casual terms, we are not obligated to be monogamous in any way, shape or form with the man in question.  We are free to date Tony on Friday, Mark on Saturday, and Joe on Sunday, and perhaps Mark next Friday and Ray next Saturday and Tony next Sunday.  It’s entirely up to us!

Keep dating casually until one of two things occurs.

1)  Our Original Love Interest comes back and commits on the level that we require.  (Continue dating casually UNITL the commitment you want occurs, No Exceptions!)  If your primary love interest is Robert, add Robert to your calendar, but don't eliminate Tony, Mark, Joe or Ray until Robert agrees to YOUR "Terms of Endearment".

2)  In your making the round robin of the dating world you meet a Joe or Tony or Mark or Ray that you find an even BETTER partner than Robert was.  Let's say that Tony turns out to be someone that you dated casually but you are finding him more and more appealing and would really like to be exclusive with him in the hopes of building a new relationship.  Keep dating Mark and Joe and Ray until TONY ASKS you to stop seeing other guys and be exclusive with him.  Obviously at this point you won't care if Robert returns or not, because you have a fresh, new and optimistic relationship forming with Tony.

Completion of either Steps One or Two means that:

YOU HAVE SURVIVED YOUR BREAKUP!!!

Congratualations!!!!

Peace!

Brigid Bishop

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

 

For Further Reading:

If You Can’t Be With The One You Love, Love The One You’re With

Brigid Bishop’s Relationship Coaching Articles

 

 

Top Four Ways To Sabotage a Relationship

Top Four Ways To Sabotage a Relationship

 

Women all over the United States tend to sabotage their relationships by falling into four basic traps, often brought about by our own misperceptions or insecurities.

When calling for a reading, a woman is quite frequently concerned with “where is this relationship going”, a very valid question which the cards will provide an answer to provided the woman seeking the answer remains on the same path.

If the woman likes the answer she receives from the tarot, she need not (and should not) make any changes to her current path.  If the woman seeking guidance does not like the answer, she may consult the cards again as to what, if anything, can be done to change the outcome of the reading to one that is more in line with her desires.

Sometimes an adjustment to her path can bring about the desired change.  At other times the cards will advise the woman seeking knowledge that no significant improvement to the outcome can be made, it is out of her hands.

The most difficult answer to give a client is the one that he or she does not want to hear.

Often, these four factors come into play in sabotaging an otherwise promising relationship.

1.      An incessant need to know “Where is this going?” and an aggressive approach to receiving this information direct from the horse’s mouth.  It takes men a lot longer to process their feelings than it does women.  A woman may feel that this is the “right fit” with a man very early on, within weeks, whereas a man may take several months to sort out what he thinks and feels and actually know whether he wants this to “go anywhere” or not.  Pressuring the man to engage in this conversation is much the same as pushing him away with all of your might!  He may come close again, but each time you bring this up, you are pushing him farther and farther away.  Try to have a little patience, allow him the time required to decipher his own thoughts and feelings.  The more you ask, the more resistant the man will become to answering.  His actions speak louder than any words he can offer anyway.  Is he consistent and attentive?  If so, he wants this to continue to grow.  Is he negligent and unthoughtful?  Why would you want it to go anywhere with him anyway?  There is no need to ask this question of him, pay attention to his actions.

 

2.      Giving up your own identity and your own interests.  If you were an active member of a book club, a chess club, enjoyed hang-gliding or sailing, arts and crafts, horseback riding, anything at all, and the moment you felt you were getting involved you abandoned these activities in order to focus your time and attention on him, you are well on your way to losing him.  In my previously published blog, How Do YOU Like Your Eggs?, this is discussed.  Maintaining your interests and your individuality will continue to intrigue him.  Becoming his shadow will make him feel smothered and he will ultimately become bored with the connection when you have nothing to bring to the relationship but a mirror image of himself.

 

3.      Investing your interest and energy in a man that you believe you “can change”.  No one ever changes unless they want to.  If you don’t believe that you can accept him as he is, he is not the right guy for you.  If you invest your time and energy in a man and believe that once you are committed you will change him, you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.  If he likes to watch sports all day on a Sunday and you sit by and watch with him for six months, and then during month seven you begin to complain that all you do on Sundays is watch sports, you are not going to get him to turn off the TV and go parasailing with you.  He is going to tell you to go along and have fun parasailing, he’ll be in front of the tube when you get back, and you are going to be angry.  Don’t accept anything that you don’t find tolerable from the beginning.  If it is an adjustment he is comfortable with, he will accommodate you quickly.  If he is uncomfortable or stubborn about it, either accept it as part of him, or move on to someone who is a better match for you.

 

4.      Living for the future.  This is definitely not healthy, as we all live in the present.  If you are spending much of your time and energy focusing on some distant and imagined future, while experiencing a high level of dissatisfaction in the present, you are wasting your time.  If you are not happy now, you are highly unlikely to be any happier in the future.  This condition is often experienced when a woman is also afflicted by point 3, above, believing you can change him.  If you aren’t happy with who he is and how your relationship is IN THE NOW, you are setting yourself up to fail, and missing new opportunities by not moving on to a better match.  There is nothing wrong with being happy and hoping for a deeper commitment in the future, but check and see, are you really happy now?  If not, why do you think you’ll be happier in the future?  Why do you even want a commitment from a man who makes you unhappy?

 

So, when you call for a tarot reading, don’t just ask what the potential for a given relationship is, or when is he going to call.  Ask questions as to what the challenges you will face with this partner are.  Get a feel for what obstacles you may encounter.  Try to stay away from the saboteurs above and look at whether or not the obstacles that may arise between you are surmountable or not.  Ask for what your best course of action is when interacting.  Ask if there will be commitment issues.  Ask if you will be compatible.  Ask if he will treat you with respect.  These are the issues to focus on at the beginning of a relationship, or during a “break” period.  It is not as critical as to when he contacts you, as it is as to the degree of respect he will contact you with.

 

 Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

.  This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part

 

Visit Brigid Bishop 

 

Want to Seduce an Aquarius?

Want to Seduce an Aquarius?

by Brigid Bishop

 

One of the most difficult signs in the zodiac to seduce is the Aquarius.  Male or female, they see straight through any insincerity or falseness, so if you want to really win them over, you really need to want them in your life.

To seduce an Aquarian male, you must first of all learn what his primary interests are.  Being an Aquarius man, they will be many and varied and it will be difficult to feign an interest, so you will have to cultivate a knowledge of one or two of his primary focuses.  He will know everything there is to know about his passions, so we aren’t talking about doing a quick Wiccapedia read up on his topics of interest, we’re talking about some serious homework here.

Why?

Because nothing will capture the Aquarian male’s heart as quickly as connecting with his mind.  Engage him in a lengthy conversation on Hawkins’s “Brief History of Time” and you’re well on your way to being courted by an honest, loyal and idealistic man.

You have his attention.  Now what?

Although Aquarius is a masculine energy sign, of all the males in the zodiac, he is the one who can most easily switch back and forth between his masculine and feminine energies, so yes, you may initiate in the beginning without fear of emasculating him.  Aquarius is a fixed and masculine sign, but he has enough intellectual agility to understand a sincere invitation to connect without feeling threatened.

Aquarians of both sexes love surprises, so invite him somewhere that is different, off-beat, not the run of the mill dinner and drinks.  Think about a Star Trek Convention, the newest science fiction movie release, an X-Files Marathon, parachuting, parasailing, digging for clams, snowboarding, taking a tour of a local factory where they fry potato chips, anywhere where he can learn something new or be occupied with a fun activity and he will be sure to tag along.

To seduce an Aquarian woman, you must first learn what her primary interests are.  It is pretty much the same process as the Aquarian male seduction, but… you must be sincere and honest above and beyond the level you have ever been with any other female.

Show her your vulnerabilities, that you can tap into your feminine side and be sensitive while still being a big strong man.  Tell her about your childhood, your parents, your siblings, your first kiss, your first lover, she wants to know it all and she will never hold it against you.  The more she knows about you, the more she can trust you.  To the Aquarian woman knowledge is power, and if you open up to her in your entirety she will know that she will always be safe and secure with you.

Invite her out, but give her space when she needs it.

Take her on a picnic in the middle of a snow shower, with a nice blanket spread on the freshly covered ground, a bottle of wine and some snacks.  She’ll never forget it.  Take her to the top of the Empire State Building and remind her of “An Affair to Remember” and she will never forget your affair.  Romance is not squandered on the Aquarian female, it impresses her and makes her long for more.

 

How Does Your Sun Sign Match Up With Aquarius?

Want to Seduce a Pisces?

.

.

.

New Moon Magick

New Moon Magick

By Brigid Bishop

 

The first New Moon of the year is nearyly upon us, it occurs this Friday, January 15, 2010.

When the Moon is New it is best to work on ridding ourselves of all of those negative things we want to let go of. 

During the Waning Moon Phase leading up to this New Moon you may have been working on rituals or spells to rid yourself of something and the spell will culminate on this night.

I love the night of the New Moon.  I find the natural darkness peaceful and cleansing.  I usually go out in my backyard on the night of the New Moon and try to purge myself of all of the psychic sludge that accumulated for me doing readings during the preceding month.

I change out and cleanse all of my tarot decks, cleanse my runes and crystals, and basically take a metaphysical bath! 

If there were any rituals I worked on during the Waning Moon I complete them on this night, sometimes having to go for rides away from my home to bury the remnants of spells I did for banishing or protection.  It’s a spiritual (and busy) night for me.

The New Moon is the completion of a cycle, so I say good-bye to any of the negativity I may have been exposed to over the past month, and say hello to a new cycle of growth that begins immediately afterword!

Any harsh words I may have spoken to a loved one have been written down on parchment and they are ceremoniously burned to release any pain I may have caused my dear hearts.  I try to symbolically release them from any pain I may have caused them, it’s a feeling like one gets after having received absolution and done their penance in the Catholic Faith.

Any wrongs I have committed in the past month are reviewed, learned from, and I begin the process of drawing healing and forgiveness during the Waxing Moon.

I begin preparations for any attraction spells and rituals I may be working on in the upcoming Waxing Moon and plant the seeds for my personal growth.

Mother Moon and Father Sky

Please don’t pass your daughter by.

Hear my words this dark, dark night,

And help me set my wrongs to right.

Take my words to Gods’ gracious ear

And help him keep my Angels near.

Forgive me, yet again my loves

As I call on all the powers above.

While below I live and learn

Once again the wheel turns.

Cleanse me of my deadly sins

Help me grow as this new month begins.

 

That’s my own little prayer/spell that I do on the New Moon and you are welcome to borrow it although everyone should write their own suited to their own needs.

So, look at today as a New Beginning and bring the Magick of the Moon into your life with your own personal rituals!

 

Want to Learn More About Magick?  Click Here!

A Very Profound Question

 

 I'll see YOU under the stars tonight!

 

Bright Blessings!

Brigid Bishop

I Want It All, And I Want It Now!

I Want It All, And I Want It Now!

 

Great Song by Queen!  One of my favorite bands, by the way.

I certainly understand the sentiment behind the song, and it is perfectly fine to want it all and want it now, but, my dearest, sometimes Patience truly is a Virtue.

I have had many, many clients over the years, with situations at varying degrees of difficulty, and we have worked through them successfully together.  There were times when a learning curve may have slowed or delayed progress, but we got through the toughest times with a high degree of success.

The learning curve seems to always come with my clients when it comes to communication.  Many do not and will not simply wait out a situation to allow it to change.  As discussed in my multiple blogs on  Masculine and Feminine Energy, it seems that a large percentage of female clients cannot self-discipline themselves to the feminine (passive) energy when it comes to communication.

Despite our work together, they decide not to follow the advice of the cards, and the natural balance between Masculine and Feminine Energy, and they initiate contact with the object of their desires first (masculine energy).  All is not lost, however, any progress that was made during their self-imposed silence has now been erased and has lost any and all effectiveness in allowing the male to feel their absence and grow uncomfortable.  Now the male does not have a motivating factor (discomfort) to produce any change in his behavior.

By initiating contact the female has now condoned whatever his unacceptable behavior was and basically trained him that it is okay to treat her like this (inattentively).

So although the woman now has the immediate gratification of having communication and contact with the object of her desires, she has now, inadvertently, taken a few steps backwards into establishing her feminine energy and has most likely delayed any significant change in the males’ behavior.

Why?  Because now, you have reassured the male in question that yes, indeed, you are still actively interested in him.  So why change his behavior?  If he doesn’t feel like calling you for another week or two, you don’t mind, you just trained him that you will reach out to him if he doesn’t reach out to you, you will do all the “work”, and if he feels like being accessible to you he will, if he doesn’t, he won’t.  You have taught him that your feelings don’t matter, you don’t warrant his attention because on the peripheral, you will still be there.  He has absolutely no fear (motivation) that your attention will wander, after all, it’s been two weeks since he called you and here you are ringing him up telling him that you miss him!!  He knows he has you, has no fear that you will go away, so why would he change?

Now, you’ve made the contact, expressed your feelings, he was glad to hear from you, the phone call has ended, and guess what?  He goes silent again.

You have, in effect, told him in no uncertain terms that he can go about his busy life and when he has the time or the need for your companionship, you’ll still be over here in limbo waiting…no worries for him.

The need for immediate emotional gratification is the same need that throws the timing of most relationships off when you succumb to it. 

What is immediate emotional gratification?

It is infantile in nature.  Immediate gratification is the “immediate” fulfilling of a need, as in when an infant cries because they are hungry and the mother rushes to feed the child.  This is good, this is responsible motherhood and necessary to build a sense of security within any newborn child.

We are not babies, sorry to say.  We are grown men and women and we should be able to discipline ourselves to reap the benefits of delayed gratification.

What is delayed gratification?

Delayed gratification is being able to wait to have your needs fulfilled at a more permanent and stable level, for example, the student who wants to become an attorney and works through four years of college and then attends law school and delays the “gratification” of going out and working full time in order to buy the nice car they have their eye on.  The goal is not to have a nice car at the age of 22, but to have a good career and an even nicer car (and overall lifestyle) at the age of 25 or 26 or so.  Delayed gratification is a sign of mature and responsible adulthood.

How do these two differing types of gratification work into the Geometry of Relationships?

Ok, immediate gratification leads you to make those phone calls to the object of your desire and having that immediate relief that the contact may bring.  It feels good, your needs are satisfied, your thirst for his voice is quenched, for now.  As discussed above, you are now most likely going to go back into the waiting mode and either reach for immediate gratification again or suffer it out and wait for the delayed gratification.

With the delayed gratification approach you will suffer now, in the immediate, you will be uncomfortable, you will be wondering why he doesn’t reach out, but you do not reach out to him, you wait it out.  As discussed in multiple other blogs found under my category “Brigid Bishop, Relationship Coach”, you busy yourself with other matters, other dates, and you do not reach out at all.  It is not easy and it takes self-discipline, but it can be done.

Your absence and the absence of your energy will draw him out if he truly does care, and if he does not, if it is over, your life will not be empty while you wait it out, you will have other people to socialize with and other males to investigate relationship opportunities with in the interim.  It is possible that you will even find a male who is a better match for you than the original object of your affections.

If you can abstain and wait for the delayed gratification, the male in question will be reaching out to you because you have allowed him the time to miss you, to realize that he misses you, and your prolonged absence will also have him change his behavior toward you as he will be well aware that you will not be sitting on a shelf waiting for him to rescue you from limbo.

Which would you prefer?

The instant rush of the immediate gratification (satisfying an infantile need) and the continuing Relationship Limbo or the short-term (it could be months, but short-term in the big picture) discomfort and the delayed, and long lasting gratification that effects change in your relationship dynamic?  (Satisfaction at a mature adult level).

The choice is up to you, but in my extensive experience in working with clients in these types of situations, the latter is preferable as it is permanent change for the better and not just fleeting happiness.

 

Copyright © 2007 Brigid Bishop

This content may not be copied or reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.  You are welcome to link to or bookmark this page, but please contact the author via Keen Mail if you wish to reproduce this article in whole or in part. 

 

On The Outside Looking In

 

Speak to Brigid Bishop Live

 

 

 *Reposted at the request of Alicia!   7/23/08*

This is for you my dear friend!

 

The Aquarius Personality

The Aquarius

The Aquarian personality type is one that I know very, very well. Why?

Because I am one.

It manifests differently in the male and female, but several key characteristics are common to Aquarians of both sexes.

They are independent, intellectual, intelligent, loyal, stubborn, gregarious, determined and at times, very absent-minded.

Aquarians are truly the types that have many acquaintances but few close, intimate friends.

When an Aquarian allows you to become intimately close with them through either friendship or romance, believe that you are very special to them.

Aquarians live more in the mind than in the heart. Because Aquarians are of the element of air, they often have their head in the clouds, and what some may perceive as neglect or absence of interest is simply the Aquarian having a preoccupation with other thoughts at the time. Their absent-minded professor intellects also add to the frustrations of more emotional types. They honestly don’t believe that they are being inattentive to you when they get caught up in the daydreams and imaginations, they think that everyone’s mind wanders as theirs does and they feel the need for freedom more strongly than any other sign in the zodiac.

The Aquarian female is usually and customarily a masculine energy regardless of how feminine her appearance or her outward bearings are. They are less emotional than any other female sign of the zodiac, they are the most analytic sign as well.

If you are in love with an Aquarian female watch out when she taps into her emotions because they can be very overwhelming to her, positive or negative, as they are not something she can intellectually scrutinize and digest, she must “feel” them, and that is difficult for the Aquarian woman.

If you want a successful relationship with an Aquarian lady then give her plenty of space and freedom, but keep in touch with her so that she doesn’t forget about you while she’s off chasing rainbows and unicorns. Support her thoughts and ideas (she’ll have plenty of them to share), and you are well on your way to winning her true heart and friendship for life.

For an Aquarian male or female true love begins with being best friends. If you always remember to be a true friend to an Aquarian, you will always have a true friend, and if you are lucky enough to become their best friend, then you are the love of their life.

FAMOUS AQUARIAN WOMEN

Brigid Bishop, (lol), Jennifer Aniston, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Oprah Winfrey, Carmen Miranda, Angela Davis, Mia Farrow, Eartha Kit, Ida Lupino, Gertrude Stein, Natalie Cole, Kim Novak, Nastassja Kinski, Princess Caroline, Geena Davis, Jayne Seymour, Judy Blume, Alice Walker

The Aquarian male does not require a lot of maintenance.

Dating him can be quite an experience. Aquarians love change and sudden and impulsive “fun”!

One night your Aquarian male may take you to the opera, and the next to a clam bake on the beach with his “hippie” friends. He will be just as comfortable in his tuxedo as he will barefoot and bohemian and hedonistic.

Aquarian males need a lot of space.

This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for you, he just needs the time to investigate and explore on his own. When he finds places and people of true interest, he will be more than happy to introduce you to them, but he does need that independence to go out on his own.

A clingy, needy woman will never win the heart of an Aquarian male.

While he is out spelunking with friends don’t worry, try a little adventure of your own, it will make him become fascinated with you if you have your own adventures to share with him.

The Aquarian male is not a master of romance, however, he knows how to figure out what makes you tick, and if he likes the rhythm of your internal mechanisms, he will apply his brilliant intellect to surprising you with just the right types of dates and gifts and mementos to make you wonder if he’s for real.

The down side of the Aquarian persona is that they are the type to get so wrapped up in projects, careers or hobbies that they do appear to be neglectful. The easiest way to regain their interest if their pursuits are seemingly making them drift is to find an interest or hobby of your own that may fascinate them as well.

Freedom and friendship are the two key factors in having a successful relationship with any Aquarian.

If you want a lover that can truly be your best friend, enjoy riding a roller coaster as much as an eight year old, explain quantum physics and the theory of relativity to you in ten minutes, and live in the past, present and future with you simultaneously, then the Aquarius is for you!

If you have a question on the Aquarian personality type, please post it here and I will be happy to help you with it!

FAMOUS AQUARIAN MEN

Bob Marley, Paul Newman, John Travolta, Rick James, Edward Van Halen, James Dean, Arsenio Hall, Bobby Brown, Phil Collins, Yasir Arafat, Saul Williams,Tom Selleck, Robert Wagner, Burt Reynolds, James Dean, Neil Diamond, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Mozart, W.C. Fields, Abraham Lincoln, F.D. Roosevelt, Charles Dickens

The Pisces Personality Type

Around The Wheel With Aquarius