Here is a fun diet to use as you get ready for swim suit season or if you just want to lose some weight. It 's a great group exercise and will make you feel good.
The Star Diet:
Draw an outline of your hands on a piece of copy paper.
Use a box of small gold sticky stars.
Put a star on a hand for every day you complete numbers 1, 3, 5, or 7. (four possible)
Take away a star each day for not avoiding 2, 4, or 6. (three possible)
Step on the scales only when your hands are full of stars.
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1. Drink cold filtered or purified water. Carry a bottle with you at all times and drink constantly. The more the better. * Sixty ounces per day is the goal. one star
2. Avoid all foods made from grains. Wheat, oats, rice, barley, corn, etc.
3.Replace the foods that you did eat from grains with brightly colored vegetables: carrots, broccoli, beets, green lettuce, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, etc. An endless list. Eat them raw if possible. one star
4. Avoid any food made with processed sugar, sweet syrups, or potatoes.
5. Replace processed sweet foods with fresh fruit: oranges, grapes, melons, apples, berries, etc. an endless list. Eat them raw if possible. one star
6. Avoid: diet drinks and nuts.
7. Eat fish. Not raw! one star
Things not to worry about: butter, lean meat, eggs, heavy cream, coffee, tea, artificial sweeteners.
Things not to eat: Anything labeled “low fat,” “low carb,” “diet,” etc. and bottled salad dressings. Use lemon juice and olive oil for salads, or make your own with flavored oils and vinegars.
Season foods with no-salt herb mixes. Don’t give up salt completely but try not to depend on it for flavor.
* Water makes up 60% of our average body weight. The more over weight we are the less water our bodies can hold. (Strange but true) Drinking water, water, water squeezes out fats, carbs, and poisons. It also reduces our appetites allowing us to eat less but be more satisfied.
As with any weight loss program, check with your doctor before you begin this diet.
Happy dieting and let me know how you do!
This is midwinter. People become dissatisfied and uncomfortable during winter months. They become unhappy. How do I find happiness is a recurring question for this time of year.
"You must be the change you want to see in the world."
Mahatma Gandhi
Indian political and spiritual leader (1869 - 1948)
For this time of year, for this period of discontent use what Ghandhi said. Make it personal. Take his vision for the world and apply it to yourself.
Be what you seek!
I do not suggest being happy is automatic, easy, or natural. I am saying that practicing what you want to be will make being what you want to be possible.
Read that again. Being is the key word and the answer to the question: Happiness, how do I find it.
Here is the prescription for chasing away midwinter blues:
Identify the smallest detail you can find about your life that makes you happy. Fingernails, toothpaste, orchids. The smaller the better. Concentrate on the feeling of happiness that you can achieve with that small thing. “Be” that feeling if only for a moment.
Return to that small pleasure often, feel the pleasure. Embrace that feeling over and over. Then find another small thing, and another, and another. Small bits of happiness magnify themselves. The feeling grows and lasts longer.
When you have identified five or six small details of your life and can enjoy the pleasure they give, you are ready to recognize larger things. Pictures, pets, books. Hold the pleasure from the larger things just as you did with that first small treasure. That’s what pleasure is. It is treasure. Treasure for our spirit.
Each time you can add a pleasure already existing in your life, the task of being happy gets easier, more natural, automatic.
Being happy isn’t about acquiring things. It’s not about what you don’t have. It’s about recognizing what you have that gives pleasure.
You have happiness. Your task is to see it and be it.
This next week identify your items of pleasures. Put them into groups of small, medium, and large. You have lots and lots of them. Embrace the pleasures. Blue winter will lose it grip and you will have what you seek.
What we choose affects our path. Where we are, where we go. Choices make us who we are. But choosing well and wisely can be difficult. As you face choices, which is actually facing your life, consider three factors in a choice:
The Past: As children we do not choose. Our parents choose for us. Many, many people spend their lives trying to overcome the choices their parents made. I ask my clients to consider the past. What choices did your parents make that are affecting your life today? Parents are often unaware of long range effects their choices produce on their children. As a psychic I see those choices. I see the damage parents have done. It is important for you to consider the why in those choices. Why did your parents move when you were twelve taking you from your friends? You task is to understand their choices and then make your own without punishing them.
The Present: As an adult, we choose for ourselves. But it’s not that simple, is it? We have jobs, we have families, etc. Other people are still deciding. Learn to recognize what choices you can and cannot make. You may not decide the time work begins, but you can decide to get there on time. Your journey can take you to pleasure, to happiness. Every person has a path to success. As a psychic, I see that path. Your task is make choices which you can and recognize and accept those you cannot. Work to avoid anger. Anger over things we do not control clouds our judgment. It darkens our path. Walk around it. Leave it behind.
The Future: You have a path. It takes you where you choose to go. The starting point of the journey is decided for us. We did not, can not, and never will make that choice. What we can do is decide where the journey leads, where it ends. Where do you want to go? Each choice you make, that you can make, should have that destination in mind. You can save a little money each month. You may not know what the money is for, but it will be there when needed. Look as far ahead as you can. If I can see your path, so can you.
This next week, consider your destination. Where do you want to go? Every choice you make can help you get there. What I am asking is difficult. It means being aware of your past and your present. Those forces putting you where you are. It means understanding what you can and cannot choose today. Accept that reality. Then choose for yourself that which is good for you and for those you love. Even the smallest thing is a step. Each good step makes the next one easier, the path clearer. A choice made in anger, wishing harm, is a step back. The path becomes harder, darker. Look for the light and it will be there. I see your path forward. You can see it too.
Choices, Choices Choices: every moment, every hour, every day. How exhausting! But there is no other choice.
Life itself is a presentation of choices. Everyday we live, we choose. Some days, we live unaware of choices. They seen automatic. We call them habits or routines: brushing teeth, bathing, etc.
Sometimes choices are rewards to ourselves. We call them treats: donuts for breakfast, a trip to Florida.
The choices we consider, we think about. We call those choices decisions: Do I get a divorce? Do I go back to school?
Every moment of life is a choice
I encourage my clients to be aware of choices and to be aware of consequences.
Every choice has a consequence. Positive or negative or both. We choose to brush our teeth, the consequence is cleaner mouth, fresh breath, etc.
We choose to eat a candy bar. The consequence is the sugar rush and/or weight gain.
We choose a divorce. The consequences in this choice are more lasting than clean teeth or a sugar high.
The message for this Psychic Perspective is know you are choosing and, just as importantly, anticipate the consequence.
As a psychic I help clients see choices and predict consequences. That's my job. Your job is to choose and to choose wisely.
This next week identify the choices you are making, be aware of them.
Are you choosing out of habit? For a moment of pleasure? As part of a larger plan?
Secondly, evaluate the consequences. What did you expect? Did it occur as you anticipated?
Is that choice and its consequence leading to a future you intend?
You are on a journey. You are more likely to get where you intend, if you can accept that choices made today affect your destination.
Next time I’ll discuss what happens when we don’t choose.
One of the questions I am often asked is “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” These questions come from people in crisis. People in pain.
“Why me” questions are difficult to answer unless we can arrive at another question “What next?”
There are hundreds of answers to “Why me” but the answers are alike: they represent failure: failure of a relationship, a financial plan, a healthy body, etc. Only the details differ.
“Why me?” equals failure.
When everything falls apart, we are shocked; we are hurt; we are defeated. We feel failure. Whether or not we have caused the failure means little when the pain is so real. We feel the failure. We feel the pain.
Failure is a crisis. How we get through the crisis is important. As a psychic, my job is to see through the pain. I look for the way out.
Sometimes the way out means going back. Repairing something that is broken.
Other times, the way out means moving on. Starting something new, fresh.
Before we do either, we must get through the crisis. We must understand what has happened, address the new reality, then decide for ourselves the way to proceed.
A very wise person one said, “This too shall pass.”
That bit of wisdom is important to remember in a crisis.
What do we do when it all falls apart?
We work through the pain. No matter how long it takes, we know it will end. The pain will end. The crisis will end.
What next?
Happiness and success or another failure?
My hope for you is happiness and success.
How do I get happiness? When will I be happy? Those are two questions I am ask daily. Being happy isn’t easy. Especially when disaster strikes. It’s unexpected. Disaster is a crisis. It’s going to happen. We are all going to be struck with unexpected hardships and heartaches. How do we get through the crisis and back to some sort of normal where we can be happy?
Notice I have said “back to normal” not “back to the way things where.”
Disaster: break-ups, job loss, illness change our lives. The first step in getting back to normal is letting that change occur. Have your heard the expression “fifty is the new forty?” Today’s normal is a new normal, it’s not the old normal-the way things were.
Disaster is going to happen.
Disaster changes our reality: normal becomes a new normal.
Happiness can occur only when the new normal is identified, accepted, and becomes the expected.
As a psychic, I see lines. I see where people have been and where they most likely will go. I see the path, but you must walk it.
You walk into happiness. It’s part of your line. You do it.
This next week, look at your life, your line. What happened that interrupted your success, your journey. Identify that disaster, that event for which you did not plan.* How was your “normal” changed?
What is the new normal? All realities have good and bad, positive and negative. List the positives and the negatives.
With the new normal clearly identified, began work to build a platform of relationships and actions which support that new normal. Take your time!
The crisis can now pass; you can walk on; happiness can occur.
*One client suffered disaster as her father said upon the birth of her brother, “At last I have a son. What I have always wanted!” The lesson here: the longer a disaster remains a crisis, the longer it will take to identify the new normal.
My last writing was on the light and how to apply what we know about light to our lives. I asked you to seek the light without and to nourish the light within. You can glow!
This writing concerns the earth: where we live and what we are. The earth is both our home and our mother. Everyone knows that. Right? Wrong!
Knowing something, anything, isn’t of value unless we put that knowledge to use.
What does having a home on earth mean? What does it mean to have the earth as our mother?
It means we are connected. We are biologically and spiritually a part of the earth. We did not come from another place to live here and we do not eat space food.
Many of my clients have difficulties in their adult lives because of unhealthy relationships with their mothers. The same can be said of those disconnected from the earth. They are often miserable and unhealthy.
Biologically our mother is the earth. I am not speaking eco-babble, I talking science. Every cell of our being holds elements of the earth.
Without the earth for the light to strike all those eons ago, there would be no life. We would not be here.
The earth lives. Again, no eco-babble, science. I am not suggest that we worship the earth. Some people do. I am not suggesting that we worship light. Again, some people do. What I am suggesting is that our connection to the earth can make us healthier, more balanced persons.
How do we connect physically and spiritually with the earth?
It’s easy. But we have to be smart with our knowledge.
Physically we need to eat natural foods. As much as we can, we need to eat unaltered food stuffs. Unaltered is the key word. Food that hasn’t been processed, added to, etc. The “eat local” movement is a good beginning. The closer to you the food is produced, the better. The fresher it is and the more nourishing it is.
A goal to work toward is 80% unprocessed food stuff to 20% processed.
Spiritually we need to be with the earth as much as we can. That means touching, sitting, digging, walking, etc. on the ground. Small crop farmers are the most physically and spiritually balanced population on this planet. They work with the earth in the light.
We can’t all be farmers. But we can maximize that source of balance from our mother. A goal to work for is 20% outside to 80% inside.
The idea is to connect to the earth. To allow that living mother to nourish you physically and spiritually.
This next week keep a record of the food you eat. How much is natural and fresh versus processed and altered. Keep also a record of the time you spend outside with the earth versus inside separated and alone. Allow balance to occur.
The first of all creation was light. Light is the most important ingredient in the mix we call life. Without light there is nothing. Light makes life possible, gives comfort; very importantly, it gives hope.
We need light in all aspects of our lives: physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I am asking you to do two things this week and in the coming year.
The first thing to do is look for the light. That means physically going outside often, being in the sunshine, looking up. The light of the sun brings health to our bodies and to our minds. It calms our spirit. It gathers us into one being.
Looking for the light also means finding the light in dark places. Any situation no matter how grim or threatening has light. The light is there and will guide you. Look for the light.
The second thing to do this week and next year is to nourish the light. We are given light with our creation. I am not speaking mystic flim-flam. I am telling the actually truth concerning our beings. We have light within our bodies, within our minds, and within our spirits.
Auras are an aspect of our spiritual light and sensitives see auras and attempt to analyze problems based on what color presents itself.
Our bodies and our minds also emit light. As we nourish the three aspects of our individual lights, we gather the three into one. We then become like a very bright moon. We glow!
Looking out for the light and nourishing the light within takes effort. You must be alive. As you see, follow, and nourish that within, you will glow. You will guide others as they have guided you.
Look for the light. Nourish with light. Glow!
I have been discussing the silent boyfriend. Why he is silent. What does he gain by not discussing his feelings. Many times what we don’t say is more important than what we do say. If you are attempting to move a relationship into your comfort zone, silence is not a good sign.
Women need to be comfortable in their relationships. They are distressed by uncertainty and doubt. Silence is not good for women. It only works for men.
Why does the boyfriend remain silent about his feelings when it is obvious that he has them. Why does he allow you to remain uncomfortable. Why does silence work for him.
Life-feeling-action. The wheel. We are alive, we have feelings, the feelings cause us to act. When I lost my blouse at the cleaners, I had feelings. Those feelings caused me to act. But before I acted, I needed to identify my motive. Finding the blouse was my motive. I know that how I act will influence getting it back. Do I tailor my actions to make getting the blouse back easier, quicker; or do I act in such a way as to make the most noise, or cause the most discomfort to the person losing my clothes? What’s my motive. Motive guides action. Men have feelings, They want to act. But before they do, smart men examine their motives. What do they want to happen as a result of those feelings. Do they want to float along from one relationship to another or do they want to have one person for the long term? What is the motive?
As a girlfriend you need to know the motive for a relationship within the first three dates. It is critical to your happiness to know what a man wants. How do you do this when lover boy is silent? It’s really pretty simple: you look at what he is offering. What is he doing for you? Does he take you out? Does he call? Are you the main event? Or does he expect you to please him? Is his ego the main event? Does he want to be a couch potato from day one? Does he want you to call him?
To know a man’s motive, you look at what he does or does not do. Ask yourself, what is he putting on the relationship table for me? What is he offering me? What will I have tomorrow? If all he offers tonight is a good time, then that’s all you are going to get.
If, on the other hand, what he offers makes you happy, no matter what that offer is, then everything is right. Don’t worry. The important thing for you to understand is that a motive doesn’t change. If he isn’t prepared to offer what you want, then you must have the courage to let him go quickly.
He will not change his mind. Men don’t change their minds, they know what they will offer from day one. Life-Feeling-Action. That’s the wheel. It turns the world. The part we control is action. We do this by understanding our motives. Your boyfriend’s motive speaks loud and clear. Listen carefully.
During this next week, think about your feelings. What are they and what motives can you assign to those feelings to better get what you want?
I have been discussing the silent boyfriend trying to make sense out of his silence. What does it mean in a relationship. What does it mean when he won’t say how he feels. Everything that is living has feelings and those feelings guide our actions. LIfe-Feeling-Action- Whatever we do we is guided by feelings. The boyfriend is choosing to be silent. He is acting on his feelings. He just isn’t telling you what those feelings are.
Life-Feelings-Action: The Wheel. Our existence turns over and over, around and around through out this time and place.
The thing that we most control in the cycle is the Action. Action results from feeling, but action is more productive when guided by motive. Motive is what we want to happen, what we desire as a result of feeling. We need to know what we want before we act.
Most of the time, we know our motives. Remember the cleaners? My motive with the missing blouse would be to get it back as quickly and as efficiently as possible. That motive would guide me to act in such a manner as to help that event happen.
The boyfriend has a motive. To understand his silence, you must understand his motive. You ask yourself this question: what does he want? That’s his motive. (Notice that I am not saying to ask him what he wants-he will not tell you. So don’t bother) The feelings are there or he would not be with you. Don’t worry about how he feels. You need to know what he wants. What does he want from the relationship? From you? What he wants is driving the silence.
I want my blouse back. That’s my motive. What I do and how I do it will affect my getting the blouse.
The boyfriend wants you. That’s his motive. But you are more complicated than a blouse. He doesn’t want to rock the boat, cause you to end the relationship, change the rules. So he keeps silent.
So far, being silent has worked. He has not said how he feels, and you are still there.
He is controlling the relationship by controlling his actions. If you are satisfied with him, then don’t worry about what he doesn’t say. But if you are unhappy, uncertain, or frustrated, (those are feelings) then you need to act. Things need to change.
How you change things will be my next discussion. Before then, I want you to think about your motives in the relationship. You have some choices to make and you need to know exactly what you want. What do you want today? Is today related to what you want for tomorrow? Make a list. You have choices to make, and the silent boyfriend has choices to make as well.
I have been discussing the silent boyfriend. The one who does not discuss his feelings. It is a mistake to believe that a person doesn’t know his feelings. We always know our feelings. Feelings are reactions. They come from deep within our triple awareness: our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. We do not control our feelings. What we control is our actions in response those feelings.
Suppose I go pick up my cleaning and discover that my blouse is missing. My jacket and pants have been cleaned and are waiting, but the blouse that matches the jacket and pants, and that I have a claim ticket for is not there. No one has to tell me how I feel. I know how I feel: frustration? resignation? despair? anger? I do not choose how I feel. I choose how I act as a response to that feeling.
You have a boyfriend. You have feelings: Love, Joy, Hope, Anger, Frustration. At any time, you act on those feelings. You choose to do things because of those feelings. The boyfriend is not a robot. He has feelings too. And he choosing as well.
Life-Feeling-Action. That is the wheel. Over and over. Around and Around. Life is reality, the situation we are in. It’s the here and the now. We feel because we are alive; we are here; we are now. Feeling is the response. Feeling in turn causes action. We do something because we feel. Life-Feeling-Action.
Everything and everyone in your life is a part of your wheel. The boyfriend is here, now. You have feelings. You act on your feelings. He has feelings. Even if he is silent, he is acting on his feelings.
The question is why the silence? If he is really acting on his feelings then why be so quiet about it?
The answer is motive.
To understand the silence, we must first understand the motive.
Back at the cleaners, I have a choice to make. I must choose how to act. Do I want to humiliate the teenager behind the counter? Do I want my blouse back as quickly as possible? Do I want to give up and go home? What I want is the motive. My motive guides my action. It tells me what to do so that I can more likely get what I want.
You have an assignment for next week. Look at three recent situations, determine your feelings at the time, then recall your actions. Now for the assignment: identify the motive that determined your actions. Why did you do what you did? What outcome were you seeking?
The silent boyfriend has a motive. That motive requires silence.
I am often asked why a boyfriend doesn't say anything about his feelings. For a man, feelings are tricky. Men don't have the female option of "changing their minds." That's the simple answer to why men don't talk. Little boys are taught to say what they mean and mean what they say. "Don't back down" is code for "don't change your mind or you'll be a chicken." Changing one's mind makes a man look weak and indecisive when they are supposed to be strong and fearless. Men figure out right quick that what they say will be remembered and that they will be held accountable. They will be called liars! That's why they don't talk.
Women need words. Words reassure little girls. "Don't be afraid, Darling. I'm right here with you."
Women talk. Words are a comfort not a challenge. Silence is the threat.
How do we bridge the gap? How do we know what a man is not saying? With a boyfriend, we look at his actions. Is he consistent in his attention or is he here one day and gone for the next week? Is he taking you out or sitting on the couch? Does he party with you or with his friends? Does he make you comfortable or uncomfortable in the relationship?
Everything comes down to what you feel. If you are happy and secure, no matter what he says or doesn't say, trust that feeling. He loves you. If you are uncomfortable, then look at what he doing or not doing. What a man does means more than what he says. It always means more. If he avoids making you comfortable in the relationship, if he is not reassuring you with his actions, then something is wrong.
Next time I will discuss choices you have if the words and the actions are missing. We will look at motives. You might need to "change your mind" about some things.