We all hear about the importance of meditation, and we know that many of the most successful among us incorporate meditation into our daily routines. Unfortunately, most people are not quite sure what meditation really does for us, and many of us are unfamiliar with proper meditation techniques. There is no doubt that meditation healthy and important, and thus it is worth discussing.
Meditation has both physical and spiritual benefits. Physically, studies have shown that meditation is good for wholistic (overall) health. For example, meditation reduces blood pressure, relaxes tense muscles, and enables better sleep. Spiritually, meditation reduces stress, enables us to think more clearly, and substantially increases productivity. People that meditate tend to have healthier relationships and they live longer. These are only a few examples.
Regarding meditation techniques, there is no single "right" way to do it. Many different cultures have developed very effective methods. Although it is best to study and work on the techinque that works best for you, there is no way to get it wrong. The only steadfast rules for meditation are are relaxing in a quite space, not going to sleep, and allowing your inner-self to take over your body.
Finally, lack of time is the most common reason for not meditating. This does not have to be the case. Taking ten minutes before bedtime will do wonders for a night's sleep. Ten minutes in the morning will help you have a much better day. In fact, most "meditators" only do it for a few minutes each day. The key is consistency.
Overally, meditation is a very easy, and free, way to improve your spiritual and physical health. To get started, try it for a week and make a note of how your life improves. You will be very pleased with the results.
As we move into the warm months, organization is key to making the most of the wonderful world around us. I have always emphasized that large goals are accomplished by taking small steps in the right direction. Thus, getting where you want to go spiritually, physically, and professionally takes a bit of patience and a plan.
I suggest that by May 1, you should set three goals that focus on three important areas of life. There are no "wrong" areas, but I suggest the three that I metioned above. Work on these steps one at a time, and always remember that big change almost always happens gradually. Here are some ideas:
Spiritually: Get into the habit of meditation, become more active in your religion, focus on strengthening friendships and renewing old ones.
Physically: Reduce stress, get excercise, change diet habits.
Professionally: Organize work areas, standardize monthy expenses, make more efficient use of work time.
It is important to note that these areas are frequently interconnected, and making progress is what matters most. Working on one area at a time will be far more effective, and less stressful, than trying to make major changes all at once.
A critical element of finding
success in romance is being able to understand how the other gender views the
world. We must always remember that making ourselves attractive largely revolves
around offering what the other side is looking for. Thus, when it comes to men,
recognizing a few “male priorities” can make all the difference in finding Mr.
Right. Specifically, being direct and honest, being in a position to truly build
a relationship, and being fully self-sufficient, are always important to
eligible men. Men
tend to be very direct and straightforward when it comes to needs and
priorities. A good example of this is how the two genders shop. Women peruse the
shelves and enjoy the “shopping experience.” Men, on the other hand, want to
walk into a store, get what they need, and walk out. They view relationships the
same way. They want to have a clear understanding with women regarding a
relationship. A woman that will talk to them directly, and be honest about all
aspects of a relationship, is far more attractive than a woman that will not.
Men do not like women that allow their emotions to interfere with logical,
direct decisions. Of course many women will be afraid of direct, honest
conversations. They fear that their man will “run away” if they are this way.
This is a fear that must be overcome. Remember, a true Mr. Right will not object
to making plans and talking directly about any subject.Being
ready for a relationship is also important to men. A good man will want a woman
that is one hundred percent available and ready for partnership. Above all else,
she should not be in a relationship with someone else, nor should she have a
connection (emotional or otherwise) to a past partner. A good man will run for
the hills the minute he realizes that there is another man in the picture. The
same is true if a woman has other obstacles to offering a true, solid
commitment. Just like women, men think about the long-term, and they do not
like complications. Self-sufficiency
is also a top priority for men. It is perfectly normal for successful,
professional men to be considered the most attractive. Most single women do not
expect a man to be wealthy, but they do want a man that works hard and has a
secure job. Men see this same quality as enormously desirable. Successful men
do not have unrealistic expectations, but they are not interested in having to
“take care” of someone else. They want a partner that can add to their lives.
Women often believe that men are only interested in how a woman looks. In
truth, a man that is looking for a real relationship will be far more interested
in “the whole package.” A beautiful woman that cannot offer anything other than
her body will not find Mr. Right. A woman that can demonstrate personal and
professional success will be very attractive, regardless of what she looks like.
When
looking for Mr. Right, do not assume that men are enigmas that cannot be
understood. In truth, a good man is very easy to understand and relate too.
There are simply a few values that men prioritize. These are direct honesty,
true availability, and self-sufficiency. Demonstrating these qualities will get
his attention, and make him want to seek a relationship.
Everyone would agree that respect
sits at the heart of any successful relationship. Unfortunately, lack of respect
is far too common. It is remarkable how much better we all become when we truly
feel loved and respected, which is something that we all deserve. There are
three important markers for creating respect with your partner. They are
recognizing what true respect is, overcoming fear, and eliminating negative
energy from our own paths.Recognizing
true respect is essential to being happy. Interestingly enough, most people have
a misunderstanding of this basic concept. Someone that is rude, insensitive, or
selfish is clearly disrespectful, and we can all see this very clearly. We have
come to identify lack of respect through this definition. However, a deeper, and
more hurtful, form of disrespect comes from someone that will not share our
priorities. For example, a man that will date a woman, accept her love and
support, but refuse to commit to a true partnership is very disrespectful, even
if he is kind and friendly. This is also true of a married man that wants an
extramarital affair. Thus, remember that how hard someone works to meet your
needs and priorities will determine how much he/she truly respects
you.In
terms of overcoming fear, it is important to remember that fear is a normal
human emotion, and we should never be angry at ourselves when it emerges. That
being said, fear must never get in the way of demanding a respectful
relationship. In other words, if you know that your partner is not giving you
what you deserve, you should stand up and make your demands known. Frequently
people are afraid to stand up and demand respect. They are afraid of the partner
“running away” or ending the relationship. Sometimes they are afraid of the
partner becoming angry, or worse, abusive. Regardless of what the fear is, it
should never be permitted to make your decisions for you. That is what your
values are for. If you know that you are in a disrespectful relationship, ask
yourself, “what am I afraid of?” Once you are honest about this fear, address it
within yourself, and always remember that you deserve better.Finally,
eliminating negative energy will always bring respect and balance into our
lives. In other words, tolerating, or “living with” a disrespectful partner
because it appears to be the easier path is a very bad idea. It will never
result in happiness. For example, if a man would rather leave a relationship
than be forced to respect you and give you the partnership you deserve, let him
go. If a man wants to get angry and rude when you express your need for respect,
put his bags on the porch and tell him to take a walk. When you stand up for
yourself, you begin to chart your own course. You become in charge of your life.
In fact, most of the time being tough will enable the disrespectful partner to
become a better person both to you and to others. But bear in mind that if you
do not force this change, it will not happen. Unfortunately,
there will always be people that will treat us with disrespect if we permit it.
There are many reasons why some people are like this, but you do not need to
accept it. Recognizing all forms of disrespect, overcoming fear, and eliminating
the negatives will help navigate through these relationships. When you are old
and gray, you will not look back and be glad that you tolerated a disrespectful
relationship. You will, however, look back and be glad when you stood up for
yourself and demanded better. Thus, like many challenges in life, the correct
path may not be the easiest, but it will lead to a much healthier
relationship.
When
it comes to romance, fear can be an incredibly difficult emotion. Frequently a
couple will be very attracted to each other, and the compatibility will be
strong, but one of the two will not permit the relationship to move forward
because of commitment fear issues. Simply put, he has “connected the dots” to
realize how close the relationship will become, and gets too scared to move
forward. Ultimately there are three issues involved in this arrangement, and
with the proper approach it is possible to make the reluctant partner come
around and step up. These three issues are recognizing the difference between
true commitment fear and the lack of attraction; not permitting your own fear to
control you and cause bad behavior; and using true respect as a foundation going
forward.
First
and foremost, it is crucial to draw a distinction between commitment fear and a
lack of attraction. The best way to see the difference is to look at his
behavior at the start of the relationship. Attraction and compatibility are not
something that we can voluntarily control. They are natural and organic. They
are a part of our true energy. Ask yourself, did he pursue me when we first
met, or did he seem reluctant to get to know me? Was he friendly and outgoing?
Did he show genuine interest in my life? Was there an energy that he showed
that demonstrated true attraction? If the answer to these questions is “yes,”
then the problem is commitment fear. If he never showed true interest, or if
you had to do the “work” to get the relationship going, then this man is not the
right one. That being said, the best way to know if a man is genuinely
attracted to you is to look within yourself and trust your instincts.
Once
it is clear that commitment fear is the man’s problem, it is important to get
your fear under control. Simply put, in these circumstances the boy needs to
pursue the girl. Remember, he is attracted to you, and he knows that you and he
will be happy together. Thus, do not call, text, or contact him in any way.
This, of course, is where the fear comes into play. You will be afraid of him
not taking the initiative, or that he will never contact you. You will fear
that if you do not pick up the phone to call him, he will end up dating another
woman. Beware of this fear! If you continue to reach out to him, he will never
change, and you and he will not become a true couple. Taking the initiative
and pursuing a partnership in an honest, old-fashioned way, is an important step
for him.
The
final step to take is insisting on respect from the very beginning. Common
sense dictates that you should not date a man that is rude or inconsiderate, but
a hidden form of disrespect is involved with commitment fear. Simply put, a man
that respects you will also respect your needs and desires. A man that asks for
your time, love, and attention while at the same time refuses to be a true
partner is being very disrespectful. He is not a bad person, but he must get
over this problem to be with you. Do not hide the fact that you expect true
partnership. Do not be afraid of him “running away” when you insist on making
long-term plans. If he wants to walk away rather than agree to a commitment, do
not be afraid. Let him walk, and be sure to let him know that you will be
dating other men immediately. He may not like it, but you are forcing him to
respect you. Ninety-nine percent of the time the man will come back ready for a
relationship on your terms.
Fear
can, without a doubt, cause problems when building a relationship. When you
recognize that he is truly attracted to you, keep your fear under control, and
insist on respect, a true foundation can be built. Remember that fear always
leads us to bad choices. Strength and values are much better guideposts. Stay
strong and he will work through it and become a true partner.