Discovery - Confirmation - Empowerment

@TotalBroadcast Chariable Giving PSA

Thanks for listening!

EarthShod fortune teller Alexandra Chauran reminds you that more than 40,000,000 Americans live in poverty; nearly 13,000,000 of them are children.  The causes of poverty are numerous and debatable, but no one can argue that, when it comes to poor children, for poor children it's never their fault.  When a child lives in poverty, they suffer nutritionally and educationally, and their future is far bleaker than that of other children. 

Alexandra Chauran says, during this special season, let's make sure all of them can celebrate, or at least have a nice holiday meal.  Give the gift of food, clothing, time or money to a Puget Sound organization helping families and brighten the season for the children. 

This Total Broadcasting message is from EarthShod and fortune teller Alexandra Chauran. If you have questions about your personal love life or your business future, get a reading from fortune teller Alexandra Chauran.

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Radio PSA produced by Total Broadcasting, audio version originally broadcast on News Talk KIRO 97.3 FM Seattle on 12/16/2011.

My Kid Has Taught Me to Prosper

     My husband got out of a speeding ticket by telling the police officer that he'd just found out his wife was pregnant and was going to a friend's house to have a drink.  Neither of us knew what kind of financial impact a baby would make on our lives, but we were pretty sure it was the negative kind.  I've never been terribly irresponsible with money, so I was feeling pretty confident myself.  I'm resourceful, so there was no way I was going to be losing my shirt at Baby's R' Us.  When friends asked what the theme of our nursery was going to be, I told them the theme was:  "Free stuff people give us." 


     Now, I'm not downplaying the financial burdens any other parents face, but our daughter easily enriched our lives from the moment she was born.  Instead of calling everyone who owed me anything and breaking their thumbs, like I'd expected, I found myself thinking more carefully about what it meant to be successful financially and how to spend in accordance to my values.  Being wealthy doesn't mean you're sitting on top of a pile of money.  It means that you have enough to enjoy what you love, plus a little more to share. 


     Brace yourself for this one, but I've ended up actually being looser with my purse strings since having a child, and I think it's a good thing.  When I might have otherwise ignored an offer to go on an overseas trip due to the expense, I thought, "hey, it's for the kid."  Staying inside on a long weekend to save gas and the price of an admission no longer seemed like the prudent thing to do when a little being was learning about the world under my guidance. 

     The most surprising thing that my kid is still teaching me is that grey area between spendthrift and a penny-pincher.  How are you investing in the futures of your children at present? 

Out of Office 8/8 - 8/22

Since I'll be away from the phone and Internet for two weeks in August while I enjoy a family holiday in Ireland and Scotland, I thought  I'd post about it everywhere that people might be likely to stumble while worried that I've disappeared.  Fear not!  I will be back to work at this job that I love in the last week of August as soon as I've recovered from jetlag.  Looking forward to booking appointments in September!

How to talk to those dying or going through a hard life transition

I was asked this month about what to say to somebody who is dying, so I'd like to tell you a story about my hospital chaplain training. All the chaplaincy candidates were let into the program with a very "easy" interview. Perhaps a little too easy. I found out why. After a brief orientation on how to use the medical charting software and on hospital protocol, we were given a pager and thrown into the trenches with little more preparation than an ID photo badge on the back of which was printed the following instructions, provided to everyone in hospital from the janitors and receptionists to anestheologists and physicians: OUR STANDARDS FOR SERVICE EXCELLENCE: Introduce yourself and explain your role. Ask what name a person prefers to be called. Offer assistance if someone looks lost or confused. Escort people to their destination if at all possible. Refer people to those who can give assistance when you cannot provide the help someone requires. Conduct care-related discussions in the most private settings available. Take responsibility for complaints and follow through to resolution. Provide additional service for those who have been inconvenienced or who may need special assistance. Always end your conversation with, "Is there anything else I can do for you?" That first week, the student attrition rate was startling. I'd say only about half made it through the initial few shifts with the pager. I know I saw some challenging things. I saw doctors crying and yelling at each other over whether to call time of death on a man who was freakishly breathing without a heart beat after thirty minutes of attempted recussitation. I held a small rape victim as she was asked questions that a child should never have to answer. I was cursed at by an old man on his death bed who smelled awful. At the end of the quarter, when only a handful chaplaincy students remained, we were asked by the program director whether we felt "prepared" to be chaplains before getting started. The room was a clamour with protests from people who felt totally unprepared. After all, what do you say to kids who lost their parents in a car wreck? What do you say to a woman in a coma? How do you react when people scream at you because you represent a God that seems to be failing them? I pointed out that I felt totally prepared. It was all on the back of my ID card all along. "Hi, I'm Alex, and I'm the chaplain. What do they call you? You look lost and confused, how can I help?" By this point, all the other people in the room were rolling with laughter. I explained that sometimes "special assistance" means just listening or sitting in silence together. At the end of that class, I asked them all, "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

In Appreciation of Mothers...

Hey, clients who are also moms:   My daughter and I made a video e-card today, dancing the story of the light and sparkle of a bond shared between mother and child that both delights and unites them.  Just in time for Mother's Day.  Well, okay, far in advance of Mother's Day.  I'm just so excited to participate in Mother's Day from the other side of a generation this year for the first time!  Shine on, mamas.

Have YOU had a spooky experience with an Ouija board?

I am writing a book about the history of the Ouija board, its early origins, its original purpose, the commercialization of it, the controversy, and the creeptastic things that have happened to people when using one.  I'm looking for:

1. People to share any true spooky tales of events that really happened to them with an Ouija board!
2. People who would NOT let kids have access to one for religious or other reasons (especially if you're a childcare provider toy store employee, teacher, librarian or other professional who works with children and otherwise helps them access safe resources for learning and play). 
3. People who consider an Ouija board as an indispensable part of their religious practice and spiritual fulfillment, and who can share ways in which the board has benefited them.
   
4. Parents who think that playing with an Ouija board is a childhood experience that is not to be missed and who can share fun stories from their own past or that of their kids.
5. Hasbro or Parker Brothers employees, as well as any retail sellers of the Ouija board who have any anecdotes about customers and the controversy. 
   

Keep in mind that, if you want to be included in the book, you will need to sign a permission form from the publisher.  Please, tell me your story! 

Interviewed by Pagans with Disabilities

Interview between Masery Gaias and Alexandra Chauran took place January 26th, 2011 for Staff of Asclepius blog for Pagans with Disabilities.

Masery:  How did you end up a Harley riding, married woman, in Renton, Washington?

Alexandra:  Those are a lot of questions, right off the bat!  Well, first of all, Harley Davidson motorcycles are cool, and this is common knowledge.  Though I was born in Canada, my parents moved to Washington state for work, where I met my wonderful husband that I married five years ago in a lovely handfasting ceremony attended by a Priest and Priestess in the mountains.

Masery:  What type of Harley do you ride?

Alexandra:  A 2005 883CC Sportster.

Masery:  Do you ride barefoot?

Alexandra:  No, nor do I ride without gloves and a full-face helmet.

Masery:  The reason I ask is because you're a proud member of the Society for Barefoot Living. Their site claims it isn't illegal to be in any establishment without shoes, it doesn't break health codes, and you can drive barefoot. I had no idea! So I can kick off my shoes on really long drives and not get in trouble?

Alexandra:  Absolutely, you may! 

Masery:  How did you get involved with the Barefoot society? Are there special events you go to?

Alexandra:  I joined online.  There used to be a local barefoot hiking group, with which I enjoyed several hikes! 

Masery:  On October 11th, 2003, you received the Diamond Jubilee Medal from the Royal Life Saving Society due in part to your counseling work. That is an amazing achievement. Please share how you got involved with this organization and what the medal represents.

Alexandra:  It isn't as big a deal as it sounds, though I still am quite proud to have a medal and a miniature that I could technically wear around to important events.  My father was a medal collector and involved with several medal societies.  He contacted the board on my behalf, and I was surprised when it was awarded to me.  He also helped a friend of mine be recognized for saving his cousin from drowning.

Masery:  You mention in your Witchvox profile that you are the daughter of an Atheist and a “sort of Catholic Ceremonial Magicienne.” Am I correct in guessing that your father is atheist and your mother the more mystic one?

Alexandra:  Yes.

Masery:  I haven't heard of a Catholic Ceremonial Magicienne. This made me so very curious. What does it mean and what is it about your mother that brings this description to mind?

Alexandra:  To me, it means that she is drawn towards the more Western Ceremonial Magic style practices.  She converted to Catholicism at some point in her life, but does not attend church. 

Masery:  Since, you are a second generation professional fortune-teller. You and your mother are members of the American Tarot Association. Did she teach you about Tarot? If so, what is one of your favorite memories of having her teach you tarot?

Alexandra:  She wasn't really a tarot instructor, so much as a general guide to growing up as an intuitive person.  My favourite memories are the times that I would be frightened by a dream or a psychic experience, and she would tell me calmly that it was normal. 

Masery:  You passed a Tarot Certification Board in-person exam to be certified as a Professional Tarot Reader.  For readers who are interested in being Tarot certified, can you summarize what you were tested on and what the exam was like? Did you have to do a reading or explain various cards they presented?

Alexandra:  Exactly that.  A representative came out to meet with me in a public place, and then asked me to perform a reading for him.  Afterwards, he critiqued the reading, and told me how I could improve as a reader.  I found the process actually very helpful. 

Masery:  You practiced Paganism for several years before dedicating yourself in 1999. How did you find out about Paganism and why did you decide to follow that path?

Alexandra:  In addition to books at the library, lucky for me I was growing up in the age of the Internet, and the Seattle area has been full of Pagans since I was a teenager.  I felt at the time that it best represented what I already had come to believe through my own experiences with deity, and I immediately contacted local Pagans to get together with them and took distance learning courses, which at the time were still snail mail.

Masery:  Alexandra, your essay “Pagan and Crazy” is such a moving and genuine story of how having schizophrenia made it difficult to find a coven. Being Bi-Polar, I'm familiar with the concerns and stereotypes people have. When someone acts really hyper and drives too fast or drinks too much or they get really angry one day people say, “They must be bi-polar.” It's become a catch phrase for over the top behavior. Bi-polar disorder is really more nuanced then that. When were you diagnosed as schizophrenic and how has it effected your life? Would you like to address some of the misconceptions about schizophrenia?

Alexandra:   I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2002.  Schizophrenia is not "multiple personality disorder."  Schizophrenics are not more likely to be violent, and violent people are not more likely to be schizophrenic.  It is not a rare disease, and actually affects one out of every hundred people you see around you every day.  It is the second leading cause for disability in the United States, next to blindness.  There is no cure, and it is often not easily managed, with some medication side-effects being worse than the disease.

Masery:  You are an initiated High Priestess of the Kingstone path of British Traditional Wicca. Why did you choose that tradition?

I was guided that way to the Gods, rather than by choice.  Though I did feel drawn to British Traditional Wiccan practice, I spent time training with Gardnerian and Blue Star covens before settling with the people who seemed to fit with me as much as I fit with them at this stage in my life.

Masery:  Earthshod, your psychic business is registered with Washington state and you're a member of the Renton Chamber of Commerce. I've never been to a Chamber of Commerce meeting and I've always wondered if they are a bit stuffy. Is Renton a fairly open community? What are some of the reactions you've gotten when you tell other member's about your business?

Alexandra:  Renton has an incredibly open and welcoming business community, though I've heard from other members that this is not the case with other Chambers.  Reactions have always been respectful but interested, and I've gained several clients and helpful partners to my business through the organization.

Masery:  How would you describe your gifts? Such as clairvoyance, intuition, or do you speak with guides and spirits for information about someone you're assisting?

Alexandra:  All of the above.  I think of them less as "gifts" than as particular skills or talents that I've developed either accidentally or through diligent practice.

Masery:  What are some of the more rewarding and the more challenging aspects of being a psychic?

Alexandra:  It is an incredibly gratitude filled job.  When I was a school teacher, now that is a thankless job.  Being a mother?  Also thankless.  But being a psychic, I have clients thank me profusely directly after the reading and even years afterward.  I've even had somebody's child named after me and been invited to several weddings.  Most challenging, I think, is simply trying to make ends meet. It is not a get rich quick scheme, and managing a business while disabled is difficult.  I sometimes wish that I could succeed or be happy at a "normal" job, or that I could make more money with this one.

Masery:  Please share anything else that comes to mind about yourself.

Alexandra:  This blog post of mine may also be of interest to you:  Psychic or Psychotic?

Update About My Books

     My first book, Crystal Ball Reading for Beginners: Easy Divination & Interpretation is now in production and available for pre-order from the publisher, Llewellyn Worldwide and from Amazon.  Meanwhile, I've just turned in the manuscript for my second contracted book, So You Want To Be A Psychic, to the publisher. 

    So, now I have a couple questions for y'all, since I'm preparing proposals for my next couple of books: 

1. If you are Pagan or Wiccan, and would read a book about familiars, what would you want to learn about, or what would you like it to include?  Non-Pagan pet-lovers' input is welcome.
2. I'm also preparing a book on the barefoot lifestyle.  Do you ever go barefoot as a spiritual practice; in what context and why?
3. What would you like my next book to be about? 
   

@Shoroba “My Teacher Is So Fine" Advice Video

Shoroba “Because Relationships Matter"

KP: Welcome to Shoroba, and today I am reading an email entitled, “My Teacher’s So Fine, I Wish He Was Mine.” Here’s the story: “I have a crush on my High School math teacher, and my fantasies are getting sexual. I have never said anything to him, but I think I should. I’m only sixteen years old, and I know it’s probably wrong, but I can’t help it. I told my mom, and she says I’ll grow out of it. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me? Welcome to Shoroba, and today we have an email entitled, “My Teacher’s So Fine, I Wish He Were Mine.” My name is KP, and today we have on the panel...

Cassandra: Cassandra.

Giselle: Giselle.

Marcel: I’m Marcel.

Alexandra Chauran: And I’m Alexandra.

KP: And she is sixteen, people

Giselle: Oh my goodness.

Marcel: Watch out. That’s really scary.

Giselle: All I have to say is: Fantasies are a lot of fun, but think before you do anything, ‘cause there’s laws. And if you do something that’s a fantasy and is against the law, then you can get into trouble.

KP: But she’s not doing anything that’s against the law. She’s just telling her teacher that she likes him. And, should she tell her teacher that she likes him?

Giselle: No, she should never tell him that she likes him.

Alexandra Chauran: I was a school-teacher for two years, and the first thing that I learned is that this happens all the time. And the second thing that I learned about teenagers is that every little issue is “The-Most-Important-Thing-That’s-Ever-Happened-Ever.” So, I’m betting... I would bet a lot of money that she’s not going to listen to “don’t tell the teacher.” So, I’m going to say: Please, please, please, make sure that you don’t get your teacher in trouble. Make sure there’s another person in the room. Make sure the door is open, and make sure that you’re following those guidelines.

Giselle: Well, this is where I’m talking about laws, because when I was in school, we had our science teacher, and there was this rash of all of the high school girls who just thought he was all hot and everything, and he ended up dating a high school girl after she graduated, and getting married to her. But it was still a huge scandal, and if he had responded to her little flirts when she was in high school, he would have been committing a crime.

Cassandra: I think she needs to be careful too, because with today’s laws, she could go for sexual harassment just as easily.... especially if he's not a willing soul.

Giselle: That’s true... Because she’s sixteen and she’s no longer in that “you’re a little kid” area.

KP: Okay, but let’s remember, do you remember what it was like to be sixteen? Hello hormones!

Giselle: Yeah, that’s why I’m saying fantasies are good, just don’t act on them.

KP: So, I mean, you know she’s having all these hormones. It’s okay to have hormones. It’s okay to like your teacher. Dude, men are hot.

Giselle: Men are hot!

Marcel: Okay, here’s the thing. Okay, she’s attracted to this teacher, all right? Like you said, the teacher’s probably getting this, not just from her, but from other girls, other students as well. The thing about it is there has to be fair boundaries. It’s okay I think for her to say, “hey, teacher, this is what the situation is,” and it may not be with somebody else there in the room. I mean, ideally it would be. I mean, if the teacher hopefully is a good teacher, he’s going to set good boundaries and establish clearly what this is, and then hopefully take it to an official, you know? Something like that?

Cassandra: What I don’t understand is, she went and told her mom. Your mamma told you “you got issues, you like this man and you’re grown.” Why your mom hasn’t set up some type of guide. I mean, me, as a mother, I find out my son likes somebody, whether I let him know, I told the teacher. Because you need to be aware of this as a teacher. I mean, is he asking for extra help just because he wants you to rub his arm? Extra kudos? The parent needs to step in...

Marcel: At the same token, if I’m the father of this girl, I would go to, like I said, an official of the school. And not just... I would talk to the teacher first, and then also follow it up. So, like I said, I think it’s okay for the teacher and the student to have that interaction, and then for the teacher to set those very clear boundaries. She is sixteen. She’s got those raging hormones, right? The teacher is supposed to be a man, he’s supposed to be upholding the law, he’s supposed to be, you know, upholding all those guidelines of how to interact with students appropriately. I actually did a video one time, it was about sexual misconduct with teenagers. I played the role of a Principal in high school. And it was about, you know, the Principal had a role where he would kinda’ brush it under the rug. “Oh, i’s not big. No big deal at all.” I think the teacher though, like I said, has to have very clear boundaries, very clear guidelines and follow them.

Giselle: Right, for this girl though, she wants to know what she’s supposed to do. And right now we’re saying “the teacher needs to do this” and “the parents need to do this.” The truth is that she wants to know what she should do, and I think that what she needs to do is to recognize that this is a fantasy, and he represents the type of man that she fantasizes about, and explore that. Draw, write stories, whatever. Do not go to the teacher and say “hey I think you’re totally hot” because that breaks your fantasy and makes it into reality, and that’s the problem. It’s fine if she stays in a fantasy, but if she brings it into reality, that’s when we’re talking about real legal stuff, and that’s not okay.

KP: Okay, so a couple things for this girl, we should talk to the teacher with somebody else in the room, possibly without somebody else in the room. You know, have your mom or your dad talk to the teacher, or you know just be okay with the fantasy. You’re having hormones, honey. It’s okay. For other people, what do you think? Do you think she should tell her teacher? Do you think she shouldn’t tell her teacher? Write us, email us, send us a video, we wanna’ know what you think.

How would you solve this problem?
Comment with your solutions!
Respond with your own videos!
Shoroba “Because Relationships Matter”

Originally released as, " My Teacher Is So Fine..." by Shoroba on 11/19/2010.

@Shoroba “Me or Your Dog?” Advice Video

Shoroba “because relationships matter

Brandon: Hello, and welcome to Shoroba, we have another email submission this week entitled “Me or Your Dog: Take Your Pick.” “My name is Bill, and I’ve just about had it with my wife and her dog, Fifi. I think she loves that darn thing more than me, and I’m tired of being second to a dog. I find myself thinking about other women, and how great it would be to be first on someone’s list. I still love my wife, but it has come to a point where I think that she really doesn’t love me any more. What’s your recommendation?”

KP: Welcome to Shoroba, today we’re talking about an email entitled: “Me or Your Dog: Take Your Pick.” I’m KP, and on the panel today we have...

Alexandra Chauran I’m Alexandra.

Brandon: I’m Brandon

Giselle: Hi, I’m Giselle.

KP: And dude, seriously?

Brandon: Well.

KP: He needs to have a conversation with his wife.

Alexandra Chauran: Yeah.

Brandon: Well, I really sympathize with this guy, and he’s asking specifically what he should do. And my recommendation, would just find the biggest plastic bag you can, stuff the dog in it, and just drop it off...

All: Oh! / No!

Brandon: Get rid of the dog...

KP: Do you have a pet?

Brandon: I do, I have a turtle.

KP: Okay, so let’s say I put your turtle in a bag because I thought you paid too much attention to it.

Brandon: It’s an animal. I would get over it.

Giselle: There’s a big difference between your soft, cuddly dog and your husband, and if your husband feels like he’s competing with your dog, then he needs to figure out how to be a stronger, more masculine husband. Because that’s a little fuzzy dog that you hug with.

Brandon: That’s true, but she’s projecting human characteristics onto the dog.

Giselle: I’m sorry, but I have three dogs...

KP: She doesn’t have any kids...

Alexandra Chauran: I have a hard time sympathizing with the husband because, you know, let your wife have a life. I mean, you don’t have to be co-dependent here.

Giselle: That’s what I think! If you feel threatened by the dog, then you need to work on your masculine...

Alexandra Chauran: Yeah, I agree with that.

KP: I don’t.

Brandon: ...Sensitive. Yeah it’s possible. But it’s also quite possible that she’s just putting pressure...

KP: Totally crazy.

Brandon: And totally crazy. There are people like that, who just think of these little dogs as little people.

Alexandra Chauran: The line that made me totally disagree with that is, “I’m starting to look at other women” because you pay attention to your dog. And I think that, come on, we all need to have lives, we don’t need to be co-dependent, and if you’re looking at other women because she looks at her dog, that is messed up.

Giselle: Guys, you really need to work on your husbandry, and your sense of being a man. Because the truth is, little Fifi should be your little favourite dog, too. You shouldn’t feel like your wife has her little favourite dog over here. You need to make Fifi your favourite little dog, so that both of you can cuddle with Fifi, kick her out of bed, and make love.

KP: I think you need to talk to your wife. I thinks he needs to know that, and as some of us might say, this is therapy, we need to have therapy here. We should probably have couple’s therapy...

Alexandra Chauran: Well, obviously there’s a deeper issue here. This is way too ridiculous to be the main issue.

Brandon: The dog has become the focal point of a bigger issue...

Alexandra Chauran: Yeah.

Giselle: The dog’s not necessarily an issue unless she’s peeing all over the bed, then she’s an issue...

KP: She’s an issue to the husband, which makes her the issue, which is the manifestation of what the real problem is. We don’t know what the real problem is. We just know that it’s manifesting in her loving this dog, or making the husband feel like she loves the dog more.

Alexandra Chauran: Yeah, it’s these annoying behaviours that add up in a marriage. KP: Yes!

Giselle: I think actually he, what he really needs to do is go “honey we’re going out on a date, and Fifi gets to stay home. And honey you and I are going to go out on a date and get back to the intimacy that we wanna’ have.” And quit picking on little Fifi, she’s just a little dog, she probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing half the time.

KP: Well, I don’t necessarily think that it’s her. I agree that they should go out on a date with the expressed goal of having a conversation about the fact that he feels unloved in this relationship

Giselle: Well maybe they just need to go out dancing and spend an hour dancing in each others’ arms, and then there won’t be this “I don’t think she loves me” nonsense. Spend an hour giving each other hugs and kisses. You’ll get over it.

Alexandra Chauran: And my advice for him too is, in addition to spending time together, is he needs to get himself a hobby. You know? She’s got her dog, that’s her hobby, and I think that he needs to have his special time. Not with another woman, maybe, but certainly with something else that he cares about.

Giselle: Spend that extra time with Fifi, and then make your wife jealous that you’re spending that extra time with Fifi!

KP: Well, we all have an opinion about what he should do, but definitely we think that he should talk to his wife about it. They should maybe go out on a date. We should not throw any animals in a bag!

Brandon: Plastic bag! A thick plastic bag!

Alexandra Chauran: No animals were killed during the shooting of this.

KP: Maybe he should get a hobby, perhaps he should spend more time with the dog, but really what we want to know is what you think. So come on and join the discussion.

How would you solve this problem?
Comment with your solutions!
Respond with your own videos!
Shoroba “because relationships matter”

Originally released as, " Me or Your Dog? - Coming In Second (To A Dog) " by Shoroba on 11/11/2010.

@Shoroba "Deadbeat Dad" Advice Video

Shoroba: "Because relationships matter"

Brandon: Hello and welcome to Shoroba. We have an email submission this week and it's called "Deadbeat Dad." "I lost my family in pursuit of a music career, and I feel it was worth it because I'm no longer in a constant state of depression. I wasn't being a good parent, I was yelling at my wife and the three kids all the time and I stayed so depressed that I couldn't keep a job. Music is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not making a lot of money in music, so I send money only every now and then. What advice would you give to me so that I could be a better dad, and at the same time keep my music in my life so that I'll be happy. I was married for thirteen years before my wife got fed up with my mood swings and lack of parental responsibilities. I want to be that dad that my children can count on. Maybe things will change when I make it big in music."

KP: Welcome to Shoroba, and today we have an email entitled "Deadbeat Dad." I'm KP, and on the panel today we have...

Victoria: Victoria.

Cassandra: Cassandra.

Alexandra Chauran: I'm Alexandra.

Jeremy: And I'm Jeremy.

KP: So we have a guy who sort of pays attention to the kids, music is the only thing that makes him happy, how does he get to be the right dad?

Victoria: I was just wondering about where he puts this child's importance in his life. We know that he has music in his life, right, and that's very important, but I'm hearing that he gives the kid a little bit of money every once in a while. Like, if you're going to really commit to giving a child some kind of support, I would say a certain amount of money should be going to that child. Does the child know that he loves the child? What kind of relationship does he want? I'm getting sort of a thing about he wants to be satisfied somehow himself. I don't think that his needs really need to be attended to, maybe a little bit more focus to what does he need and how is he going to integrate the child into his life, because he's happy with his music.

Cassandra: Well, you know I thought it sounded like he was trying to justify his fact of being a musician now; somewhat making it, and "I left you guys." You know what I mean? He has three kids, and you can't justify either one. You're a dad and you're a musician. Either you're going to do what you gotta' do, and take care of your family, or you're going to do what you wanna' do and...

Jeremy: All careers take second place.

Cassandra: Exactly.

Jeremy: I mean, every career on one level or another, you will sacrifice, and if you have a family at some point they will probably suffer, hopefully minimally, but they will. But for me, raising a son makes you a father, not making a son makes you a father. You need to be involved in their lives. You can’t be a musician if you don’t participate and put effort in your career either, but I don’t think...

KP: That’s true of everything...

Alexandra Chauran: Well, you know, I’m hearing somebody who wants to be more involved in his son’s life. You know, we’re all getting down on him, but he’s trying here, maybe, you know, a tiny bit, but he’s trying. And I’m thinking that, you know, no matter what he does, he’s going to be drawn back to this music. He might make excuses as to why, but it’s gonna’ happen. So, I think for sure he should, you know, bring music into his family life. But also, you know, he could find a part-time job at a record store. At least he’d have a lot more money coming in on a regular basis.

Jeremy: I think he needs to set goals. He’s obviously set goals for his career, because he’s stuck with it this whole time, and he feels like perhaps his child’s not benefitting as much as he should from his personal relationship with him. So, set a goal for your child. A type of, “what do you want to do with your child in the next year. What do you want to do in the next two years. Where do you want to see him, how do you want to help him do?

Cassandra: How do you want your relationship with your child...

Jeremy: Absolutely, absolutely.

KP: I hope that he takes that advice, because it sounds to me like this is a very selfish man, and I’m very upset about this because I had a father who was a very selfish man. And I made lots of efforts to get to know him, and he kept telling me that he wanted to be part of my life. But, like, you know, to be truthful, he just isn’t. And I’m sorry, you know, he maybe set goals, and I hope that really is what he does. But this is a selfish man, and you just need to not be selfish!

Jeremy: Do you think he’s asking this question to help divert the attention, make it look like he is wanting to make an effort, so he can show everybody “I am wanting to make an effort.” So, it’s just the question, it's just asking...

Victoria: I think he’s making an effort.

Jeremy: I get that he’s really concerned to a certain level.

Victoria: Yeah, to a certain level.

Jeremy: I think the son has been overlooked.

Cassandra: He has three kids, not just one... I think it’s more for him than it is the kids, because it’s not like, from what I get, we didn’t hear the kids say “oh, dad, you’re never around” you know, it’s not them coming at him. It’s him feeling that way. And if he feels that way then piss or get off the pot...

Jeremy: ...Later on they’ll have to deal with...

Cassandra: Exactly.

KP: He is making a choice. My father chose his wife over his kids. You know, this man is choosing his music over his kids.

Cassandra: Exactly.

KP: And even though he says he wants to, he has to make a choice to choose both, and he’s not.

Victoria: But I think maybe the other thing is how is he relating to the kids when he’s there. What is he saying to these kids when he’s there...

KP: What should he say? What should he say with his kids... Right.

Jeremy: He has to know the children in order to know what to say, and this is where he has to make, again I say a goal. Figure out what are your child’s likes and dislikes, what are they...

KP: Right, so...

Jeremy: Be active with them, get out there. He has to do something to alleviate some of this guilt that he is feeling. That’s why he’s asking the question.

Cassandra: ...Why are you feeling guilty? You wanted to be a musician. These kids are not babies. They will understand, “okay, dad, you had issues, you weren’t feeling happy, whatever.” Not that the family wasn’t fulfilling, you, but that you needed to go...

Jeremy: And maybe his career as a musician isn’t as important to him as he believes.

Cassandra: But that’s what I’m saying, this is for him to find out, who’s saying that he is a deadbeat dad. Does he feel that he’s a deadbeat dad? That’s what I’m saying. Does he feel it because he is not able to do what he feels a father is obligated. And if that’s the case, you know what, you can be a musician and still provide. I’ve seen it happen, I’ve lived with musicians.

KP: Absolutely.

Cassandra: He needs to make a choice. You are either going to be daddy to these kids, and make sure that they come first. And yeah, okay, “I busted my butt all day and you guys are doing your homework and you’re doing everything. Dad’s out, I gotta’ do this gig and this gig.” It might be a week before he sees them kids, but he has got to prioritize. Where is the priority. If they are equal priority, then he has to decide...

KP: All right, you guys, I know, I know it’s a very charged topic...

Jeremy: When you start out in a career like this, especially a musician, you think of all the things that come with it. I think that he had really high aspirations in the beginning, probably though that he would be at a higher level of success then perhaps he’s at right now. When you move through your career and you find out that you’re not where you thought you were, then the things that didn’t go away that were around you, those become back into your life, and you start wondering “did I really do what I was supposed to do?”

KP: Okay, so he’s asking us what he should do. We’re telling you to “piss, or get off the pot,” we’re telling you to make some priorities, we’re telling you to get some goals, we’re telling you to make a choice and choose your kids, not your career. So, we might not be the only ones. If there’s some other people who might think something else, please let us know. Email us something, send us a video, tell us what you think.

How would you solve this problem?
Comment with your solutions!
Respond with your own videos!
Shoroba “because relationships matter”

Originally released as, " Deadbeat Dad" by Shoroba on 11/11/2010.

Gradually Phasing Into Work & Motherhood

     It has been three amazing weeks since I was blessed by the birth of my little girl, Eris! Those who follow my Twitter will know that I danced through an easy labour and have been praying my way through the challenges of new motherhood.  Already, baby's first dance video on the outside is a contender for VH1's "Dance Cam Slam," so please view and vote a thumb's-up for us!  I and my entire network of loved-ones send our sincere thanks to all of my wonderful clients for your patience with and support of the family business during this time. 

     I'm gradually phasing back to work with VERY S-L-O-W email (Keen Mail here) and Twitter readings.  DO NOT expect my usual less-than-one-business-day turn-around during this time, since I'm catching up on piles of work, attempting sleep, and caring for an infant.  I also am not yet back to chat, telephone or in-person readings due to frequent baby interruptions.  If you have any doubts, wait or email and ask before paying for a reading for your needs.  Remember, in any Fortune Teller's best-case scenario, you can get readings done well, quickly, or affordably, but not all three. 

Maternity Hiatus

     This blog lives!  I'm putting up this message so that readers don't think I've disappeared.  Setting this today, since today's my due date.  I'm preparing to welcome my daughter into the world.  Rest assured that I love my job and will return as soon as is best for my baby and myself. 

P.S. 
FYI - Personal informational updates will be posted to Twitter when I am able and so inclined. 

Upcoming Weekday Horoscopes

Moody Monday Friendship Horoscopes
Tip-Top Tuesday Health Horoscopes
Wayfaring Wednesday Commute Horoscopes
Thriving Thursday Career Horoscopes
Flirty Friday Love Horoscopes

Today's Horoscopes

Aries

• All work and no play doesn't make you a dull boy, but it does make you difficult to be around. You deserve to make some time to celebrate with friends, if even a low-key celebration.

Taurus

• Since the Taurus is a feminine sign, it may be appropriate for you that it is National Women Road Warrior Day, since all of you must move through your friendship worlds defensively right now.

Gemini

• Your sense of humour may get you in more trouble than it is worth much of the time, but it is also what draws your friends closer to you and what cheers them up when they feel down.

Cancer

• You are a loyal friend when somebody needs help, but sometimes friends don't openly tell you that they need it. You may have to open yourself up about your own struggles to encourage this.

Leo

• You have the opportunity to be a good teacher to your friends, if you're careful not to minimize their efforts or make too much fun when somebody is feeling vulnerable about a new skill.

Virgo

• The sun and Mercury boost your ability to communicate with friends who are both near and far right now, especially those on the same mental wavelength no matter how much time apart.

Libra

• The Saturn in your sign gives you an opportunity to pay back a friend with either money, time and effort, or simply emotions that were spent on you some time before by that friend or others.

Scorpio

• The waxing gibbous moon is trine your Mars today at 9:45pm in the evening, boosting you to want to do something energetic with friends. Make it constructive for a bonus in your life.

Sagittarius

• Just as parents push their children to do well, you can push your friends to do the right thing simply because you have such high expectations of their capabilities and personalities.

Capricorn

• The waxing gibbous moon is sextile your Pluto today at 6:55pm in the evening, which can make for lively discussions with friends about values that may get heated but help with understanding.

Aquarius

• The waxing gibbous moon goes void of course to leave your sign and is conjunct your void Neptune today at 6:09am in the morning, causing you to feel sympathy for a friend in need.

Pisces

• The waxing gibbous moon enters your sign today at 1:15pm in the afternoon, bringing with it a greater psychic connection with your friends. Follow your instincts if you feel the need.

Upcoming Weekend Horoscopes

Flirty Friday Love Horoscopes
Sensible Saturday Money Horoscopes
Talk Like A Pirate Day Horoscopes
Moody Monday Friendship Horoscopes

Today's Horoscopes

Aries

• Sometimes you can push your partner too hard when you try to be helpful, and then pull back when he or she really needs you. Open your eyes a little wider to what is going on to be clear.

Taurus

• Build on shared passions and interests with a partner to deepen your affection for one another. It can be easy to accidentally ignore the importance of this, especially in a long term relationship.

Gemini

• Go with the flow and try not to argue too much when plans might have to change, or a partner may have needs that he or she assumes are more important than your own. You can be flexible.

Cancer

• Your kindness and sympathy may need to be called upon when a partner is not feeling so well. Don't let your cheerful mood wane when things get tough, and things will pull through quicker.

Leo

• Watch your reactions and decide what is and is not a "deal-breaker" for you in a relationship. It may be time to carefully choose your battles before you have too many to deal with.

Virgo

• The waxing gibbous moon is trine your sun today at 2:19pm in the afternoon, which is a good sign for harmony between partners. Your heads and hearts can be aligned and content.

Libra

• Due to Saturn, the thought of "frivolous" dates or sex might be far from your mind, but you need to think of your own love life health as a necessity as well, and make time for it accordingly!

Scorpio

• With the luck of having both Venus and Mars in your sign, a heterosexual Scorpio may see an extra spark in the bedroom! Having both male and female energies with you can help.

Sagittarius

• Showing your strong, although sometimes fleeting, sense of responsibility can make a partner really fall for you. Today is also official national Citizenship Day, so point out what's important.

Capricorn

• The waxing gibbous moon goes void of course to leave your sign today at 10:13pm in the evening, which might make you feel over-stimulated by a partner and need a break.

Aquarius

• In your love life, that void Neptune might have you getting downright devious to get your way. It is okay to not tell the whole truth and nothing but, as long as you know what you're doing.

Pisces

• The waxing gibbous moon is sextile your void Uranus and void Jupiter today at 10:04pm and 10:13pm in the evening respectively, which can help deepen and bring peace to relationships.