8 New Rules of Love
Forget everything you've been told about love...
1) Help him change his bad habits
2) Plan dates with your mate to keep love alive
3) When you're dating, put your best foot forward
Researchers say it's all changed...
Here are the eight new rules:
1) It's good to be PICKY. Kellie, you know how people say you have to put yourself out there and meet as many people as possible? Not so. Women who were super picky about who they might date had a far better chance of finding someone special. Women who went to speed dating or used online dating were LEAST LIKELY to find true love.
2) When you're dating, challenge the relationship to determine its strength. Don't just go to movies or watch TV. Go on a road trip, or even better, do something adventurous or challenging to see how you react to each other under stress.
3) You know how they tell you, "be there when he's down and he really needs you?" Not so much. What's more important is to be there when he's up and celebrate his accomplishments with him in a big way. Researchers say these happy events DEFINE a relationship and are what you hang onto in bad times, NOT that you were there for him the last time it was bad.
4) Be honest about your neediness. Don't' try to hide it. Women are starting to feel shameful about having different needs than men. In fact, it's something men LOVE. Just tell them, "I'm getting that lonely feeling and I need more of you in my day." The guy will take it as a huge compliment.
5) Sixty second pleasure points. On your own, make a list of things you can do for your partner in under a minute that will please them. Then, 2 or 3 times a day, use one. could be a joke, a long kiss, or even a text message. This keeps you connected far better than barely speaking and then going on a trip to Mexico to re-connect. Couples who use this strategy don't NEED to re-connect because they never DIS-connect.
6) If we JUST had a baby...many women have had the thought that having a baby would fix the relationship. We all know now that's probably not right, but you have no idea how RIGHT. 70% of couples experienced a dramatic drop in happiness int eh first three years of their baby's life. So the advice? You better be peaking on the happiness scale before you bring a child into the world.
7) We should go to counseling. MYTH. 50% of couples who go to marriage counseling end up divorced within 2 years. Counselors say that's misleading...the problem is that people wait too long and by the time they come, their marriage is too far gone.
8) Don't try to change him dramatically. Go for tiny modifications in his behavior. At then end of the day, he truly does want to please you...He just doesn't like the way you've been going about it...like, "You're such a slob, why don't you pick up after yourself!" Instead, you gently say..."hey, can you put these in the hamper for me? Thanks." You've sent the msg. without alienating him.