Don't go out before reading this!
1.
Avoid eating out on holidays and Saturday nights. The volume of
customers guarantees that most kitchens will be pushed beyond their
ability to produce a high-quality meal.
2. There are almost
never any sick days in the restaurant business. A busboy with a child
to support isn't going to stay home and miss out on $100 because he's
got strep throat.
3. When customers make personal attacks,
adulterating food or drink is a convenient way for servers to exact
covert vengeance. Waiters can and do spit in people's food.
4.
Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have
friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the
door.
5. Treat others as you want to be treated.
6. Don't snap your fingers to get attention.
7.
Don't order meals that aren't on the menu. You're forcing the chef to
cook something he doesn't make on a regular basis, and it won’t be as
good.
8. Splitting entrées is okay, but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade.
9.
If you find a waiter you like, always ask to be seated in his or her
section. Tell all your friends so they'll start asking for that server
as well. The server will be grateful and take good care of you.
10. If you can't afford to leave a tip, you can't afford to eat in the restaurant.
11.
Always examine the check. Sometimes large parties are unaware that a
gratuity has been added to the bill, so they tip on top of it. Waiters
"facilitate" this error.
12. If you want to hang out, that's
fine. But increase the tip to make up for money the server would have
made if he or she had had another seating at that table.
13.
Never, ever come in 15 minutes before closing time. While you're
chitchatting over salads, your entrées will be languishing under the
heat lamp while the dishwasher is spraying industrial-strength,
carcinogenic cleaning solvents in their immediate vicinity.
This
is great information - but we've known that going out to eat often
leads to mild food poisoning. Considering that many workers don't
necessarily wash carefully after you-know-whatting.
However, many people have a great deal of stomach acid which kills a lot of things.
Also,
they say, when eating Sushi, a little alcohol helps prevent food
"issues." Of course these days, Sushi fish is frozen a good long while
to kill pathogens and parasites.
Our bodies are quite strong, and can take a little sputum and pus... after all, it's in every burger!
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