I wasn't sure how I was gonna post this blog about my grandfather. But I thought if I share MY emotions it might help you all in your lives.
No death is easy... just like no break up/divorce is easy as well. When I got the call this morning I knew it. Being a reader doesn't mean I know EVERYTHING.... because I don't. Death will come out of no where. Yes, we knew he wasn't going to make it and he put the family thru hell and back when the doctors and hospice ( thank god for both) told us he wouldn't make it to Chrsitmas this year. So as well as any family can we prepared for this. We said all the " I love you's" one person can say. But I still feel like i missed a couple I love you s or a couple thank yous. Or even a couple smiles....
My last visit with him was interesting.... I told him I loved him and it was nice to talk to him. While I was standing my his bed looking down at the man I loved more then anything, the man who was my " papa". This man never once said I screwed up or said I disappointed him. He asked me what I was doing by his bad... I said standing here and I asked him what he was doing ... my grandmother was on the other side and in a calm voice he said going to kick your butt. My grandma said ( with a chuckle) that he got his sense of humor back. Light heartedly I told him that I was feeling better and that I could probably take him. He said he doubted it.
In the shower this morning I thought I really wish I had a better memory of him. That the last words or conversation I wanted with him wasn't who could kick whos butt. But I realized that I can't change it... this is how I knew him... funny, loving, and crazy! I now know I have the BEST conversation with him. I am blessed to even have a conversation with him.
I know the next few days/weeks/ or months are going to be hard but I am sure he is giving God hell and trying to run the show or argue his way to a nice farm in heaven.
Life is short no matter if you are here 6 years or 60 years or even 90 years. But kow that its not how much time we are here its what we are doing while we are renting our bodies and enjoying the short time we are givin. So hug that person , say what you need to say and live in the moment because before too long that moment will be gone and you wont be able to get it back.
Blessings from my family to yours. HAve a wonderful Thanksgiving and be thankful for the person you will sit next too or pray with this week.
Kari