A three or four minute reading is often not enough to get the deeper information, but that being said, if a short reading is all you can afford at this time, I will honor your time and money and not try to keep you longer than you want. I still have to charge, but I'll respect your money concerns. :-)
While I only give free minutes to regular callers who tend to call for longer readings, as a Thank You and to help toward their next paid call, I will give a paid reading as quickly and efficiently as possible, so that you don't have to spend a lot if you cannot.
I cannot give out free minutes for free calls where no paid time is added, but, as stated, I will read for you in as efficient a manner as possible so that you need not worry.
Budget yourself for my price per minute, you may even want to set a timer/alarm to go off for you if you have such a device, and together we can keep it short and sweet if you really need to.
Although longer readings are wonderful because the caller can get a lot of in-depth help, and I as the reader get much more satisfaction out of going deep into the heart of the matter for you, I do understand that sometimes a brief look at the nature of an issue is all you want to go for or can afford.
Hoping this can help somebody today who is worried about calling and being kept on for more time than they can afford, at this awkward time of year financially.
With love,
G.
An e-mail reading can be a convenient, affordable way to get an insight into your situation without talking-up a long and pricey paid call - get a five-card reading on one question for five dollars! My five card spread gives:
- the root influence on your issue
- the current energies
- the probabilities that will come into play in the near-future because of these
- what to avoid or be cautioned about
- and what actions or approach can help produce the best out of your situation.
There can be a lot of helpful information in a reading like this, so don't miss the chance to take advantage of a low-priced opportunity to get your reading now! I love to do e-mail readings because I don't place a time-limit or word limit on what I'm perceiving, and I love to get into the flow of the intuition my cards are setting off. Let me see what I can help you too with today.
Please send one question about one situation or one person, with just a little basic background so that I know what I'm identifying, for example, if you want to know about a love interest, let me know a couple of basics such as, we are broken up right now, we are current right now, we haven't become involved yet. Or for Work: you are in a job, or looking for one. The rest I can zoom in on after that.
Your reading will be conducted within 24 hours, usually much sooner, and sent as a Pay To View; just e-mail me by pasting Gwen Lake into your To: field in KeenMail, send your question as above, and I will reply with Pay to View.
Have a great day, thanks for checking out the sale special!
Gwen
The song goes "All You Need Is Love," and so many believe that as long as two people truly love each other, it will somehow magically conquer all issues with minimal input from the partners. Not so. Conflict big and small is inevitable, but it's how you handle it that can make or break the future of your relationship.
Within the greatest love and connection in the world, there are still fights that can arise. But the way in which the two of you speak to each other in these heated moments, the actions each of you take or do not take, can either help the situation or cause further hurt. There are choices to be made and these are skills that can be learned . . .or ignored.
We are all human and it's easy to allow anger to guide our words and actions - walking out and festering instead of addressing the issue, shouting curses instead of staying calm and expressing constructively. We have all done or the wrong thing in the height of frustration with our partner during a disagreement.
Now I'm not saying it's easy to take a breath, mentally step back, and "fight fair" instead of dirty. In fact, some of the following advice can be damned hard to do when perhaps you or your partner have been in an unhealthy mode of operation for a very long time. Sometimes these techniques are resisted by one or both, and ultimately professional counseling is needed, and sometimes....if someone is unwilling and unready to work on what's happening, you must take the decision to walk away from this relationship and search for the health you are ready for.
But if you can introduce these techniques into the way you verbally address your loved one in times of conflict, it can make the difference between a relationship spirally downward into destruction over time, or the building of deeper bonds and happier, faster resolution of conflict.
Here is an article by the Counseling & Mental Health Center at the University of Texas, written by John Ragle, Ph.D.
Fighting Fair To Resolve Conflict
What Kind of "Fighter" Are You?
Do You...?
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Avoid conflict at all costs?
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Feel that any criticism or disagreement is an attack on you?
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Hit "below the belt" and regret it later?
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Feel "out of control" when conflict arises?
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Withdraw and become silent when you're angry?
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Store up complaints from the distant past?
At one time or another, most of us have done one or more of these things. That's because in most relationships, conflict inevitably arises, and for many of us it creates significant discomfort. But conflict, if handled appropriately, can actually strengthen relationships and improve our understanding of each other. When handled badly, conflict can result in broken friendships, ended relationships, and long-simmering feuds.
What Causes Conflict?
Conflict can arise whenever people - whether close friends, family members, co-workers, or romantic partners - disagree about their perceptions, desires, ideas, or values. These differences can range from the trivial, such as who last took out the garbage, to more significant disagreements which strike at the heart of our most fundamental beliefs and concerns. Regardless of the substance of the disagreement, though, conflict often arouses strong feelings.
Anger and Conflict
Disagreements can lead to people feeling angry or hurt, and for many people, feeling hurt is a position of vulnerability. People generally feel less in control when they are hurt, and they may move into feeling angry as a way of feeling less vulnerable or more "powerful." Feeling angry isn't necessarily a problem if that anger is handled constructively; however, problems with anger are often worsened by common beliefs that are not necessarily true. For many people, parental messages planted the idea that being angry is the same as being out of control or acting childishly. Or, many people have the idea that anger equals aggression. But the truth is that anger is a normal human emotion, just as normal - and healthy - as joy, happiness, and sadness.
Conflict Styles
"Mad Bomber," "Smolderer,"
or Somewhere in Between?
Because many people never learned to manage anger constructively, it's very common to handle it in inappropriate ways. The "Mad Bomber" gets angry easily and expresses it, but with little control. At the other end of the spectrum, the "Smolderer" stores up complaints but doesn't express them directly. Instead, "smolderers" may seethe inwardly and act out angry feelings in passive ways.
To the Rescue... Fair Fighting!!!
Fair fighting is a way to manage conflict and associated feelings effectively. To fight fairly, you just need to follow some basic guidelines to help keep your disagreements from becoming entrenched or destructive. This may be difficult when you think another's point of view is silly, irrational, or just plain unfair. But remember, he or she may think the same thing about your ideas.
Fair Fighting: Ground rules
Remain calm. Try not to overreact to difficult situations. By remaining calm it will be more likely that others will consider your viewpoint.
Express feelings in words, not actions. Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. If you start to feel so angry or upset that you feel you may lose control, take a "time out" and do something to help yourself feel steadier - take a walk, do some deep breathing, pet the cat, play with the dog, do the dishes - whatever works for you.
Be specific about what is bothering you. Vague complaints are hard to work on.
Deal with only one issue at a time. Don't introduce other topics until each is fully discussed. This avoids the "kitchen sink" effect where people throw in all their complaints while not allowing anything to be resolved.
No "hitting below the belt." Attacking areas of personal sensitivity creates an atmosphere of distrust, anger, and vulnerability.
Avoid accusations. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel.
Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.
Avoid "make believe." Exaggerating or inventing a complaint - or your feelings about it - will prevent the real issues from surfacing. Stick with the facts and your honest feelings.
Don't stockpile. Storing up lots of grievances and hurt feelings over time is counterproductive. It's almost impossible to deal with numerous old problems for which interpretations may differ. Try to deal with problems as they arise.
Avoid clamming up. When one person becomes silent and stops responding to the other, frustration and anger can result. Positive results can only be attained with two-way communication.
Establish common ground rules. You may even want to ask your partner-in-conflict to read and discuss this brochure with you. When parties accept positive common ground rules for managing a conflict, resolution becomes much more likely.
Fair Fighting: Step by Step...
To make the Fair Fighting ground rules effective in resolving a specific conflict, use the following steps:
Step One: Before you begin, ask yourself, "What exactly is bothering me? What do I want the other person to do or not do? Are my feelings in proportion to the issue?"
Step two: Know what your goals are before you begin. What are the possible outcomes that could be acceptable to you?
Step three: Remember that the idea is not to "win" but to come to a mutually satisfying and peaceful solution to the problem.
Step four: Set a time for a discussion with your partner-in-conflict. It should be as soon as possible but agreeable to both persons. Springing something when another is unprepared may leave the other person feeling that he or she has to fend off an attack. If you encounter resistance to setting a time, try to help the other person see that the problem is important to you.
Step five: State the problem clearly. At first, try to stick to the facts; then, once you've stated the facts, state your feelings. Use "I" messages to describe feelings of anger, hurt, or disappointment. Avoid "you" messages such as "you make me angry...."
("I" wording example: "I feel angry at what you just said because..." Instead of "You need to __" say "I wish that when __ happens you could ___"
Step six: Invite your partner-in-conflict to share his or her point of view, and use active listening skills. Be careful not to interrupt, and genuinely try to hear his or her concerns and feelings. If it seems helpful, try to restate what you have heard in a way that lets your partner know you have fully understood, and ask your partner to do the same for you.
Step seven: Try to take the other's perspective - that is, try to see the problem through his or her eyes. The "opposing" viewpoint can make sense even if you don't agree.
Step eight: Propose specific solutions, and invite the other person to propose solutions, too.
Step nine: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each proposal.
Step ten: Be ready for some compromise. Allowing the other person only one course of action will likely hinder resolution. When there is agreement on a proposal for change, celebrate! Set a trial period for the new behavior. At the end of the trial period, you can discuss the possibility of modifying or continuing the change. If no solution has been reached regarding the original problem, schedule a time to begin the discussion again.
When Nothing Seems to Work
Sometimes, despite our best fair-fighting efforts, a disagreement or conflict seems insurmountable. When this occurs, talking with a trained professional can help. A trained mediator can help you communicate more effectively and eventually work your way through to a solution.* Alternatively, the UT Counseling and Mental Health Center provides short-term counseling for individuals and couples who have difficulty managing conflict, as well as counseling about other concerns you might have.
A Final Word
Conflict is a normal, inevitable, and even healthy aspect of most relationships. When managed well, it can be used to enhance and strengthen relationships with friends, family members, co-workers, and romantic partners. Fair fighting provides the tools and techniques to help you achieve positive results when problems arise.
Written by John Ragle, Ph.D
For Further Reading
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury & Bruce Patton (ed.). Penguin, 1991.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Goldhor Lerner. HarperCollins, 1997.
Anger, the Misunderstood Emotion by Carol Tavris. Touchstone, 1989.
Messages: The Communication Book by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, 1995.
http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/fighting/fighting.html
Wishing everyone the very best 2008 that you wish for; may you put into motion this year all that you hope to, in love and wisdom, to your greatest success in all that you endeavor. All blessings to all! Have a good, good year in every way.
The newest True Tales for January is up on the web, of note is a wonderful account of how our loved ones who have passed over can choose to revisit us in the form of butterflies or birds -- the story to click on is called "Butterflies and Reincarnation." It's a beautiful story.
I personally believe that these phenomena are not strictly reincarnation, but that the soul of the departed person can either manifest as the creature witnessed, or temporarily go into an existing creature in order to approach the living loved one in a manner which will not spook them or be easily overlooked.
This, and vivid dreams, are some of the most frequent ways in which our departed loved ones reach us, signal to us, comfort us. Have you noticed a bird, butterfly, dragonfly or other living thing make an unusual appearance around you at times? Think of those you have "on the other side" -- this may be a loving sign from them. Stay aware of this, and you will notice it with increasing frequency.
Remember that these signs are not usually trying to tell us anything urgent or significant, other than simply "I'm fine, I'm with you in spirit, you haven't lost me" or a reassurance when times are tough for you. Take comfort when you have this lovely phenomenon happen around you.
Here is the main menu of January stories:
http://paranormal.about.com/library/blstories.htm
I will be available today for a few hours intermittently, to take your calls and go with you into the potentials for your year in all areas; if you see "arrange" please do put in for a call and I will get to you asap -- looking forward to speaking with you,
Happy 2008
Gwen
Celebrating my first year on Keen, I'm offering super-detailed e-mail readings for half-price, $9.99 down from the usual $19.99. This is a great deal as these readings can average1,000 words or more, packed with information and multiple spreads, carefully analysed, and written into a detailed summary.
I take one question only please, as I really do go in-depth and can sometimes take two hours on my reading and my written summary of the insights I need to convey to you -- can you imagine the cost of a two-hour Keen call?!
E-mail readings where I can take my time, make multiple spreads, search different angles of your situation, and consider my analysis as I type it up, are a great way to get a real bang for your buck, especially at sale price, so come on in and send me your question!
Click here --
- and you will get full details on how to order your pre-paid reading -- I will prepare and send it to you within 24 hours. If you're first in line, much sooner, lol!
This offer will close at midnight tonight, Sunday September 30th, so please do get your order in now and take advantage of a great indepth reading to keep and to print out!
Some of the feedback I've received for my e-mail readings:
| 7/29/2007 |
tWL |
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The best, most informative and complete email reading I have ever had. Just fantastic. Truthful yet sensitive. Amazing! |
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| 7/29/2007 |
f. |
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Very fast response to email reading request. Detailed and full of information. I was impressed! |
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I'm also available for your calls tonight if you need to talk; looking forward to helping
~Gwen
The cards can answer not just "Will he/she/we..?" or "What will happen?" but also "What should I do?" . . .or do differently! One of the greatest ways the cards serve us is in the role of sheer guidance to optimal actions we can ourselves take.
A Tarot card reading can provide not only predictions of what may arise in your future from current situations, or reveal something of the true nature of people and situations; the cards can also provide guidance and advice on the best possible actions or approaches you could choose to take, in order to achieve the optimal outcome by what you yourself are contributing to your situation or relationship or issue.
It is this role of guidance and wisdom, sheer counseling in fact, that is such a wonderful aspect of tarot cards and a tarot reading, yet sometimes this can be overlooked when we are falling over ourselves trying to get predictions and true feelings and future outcomes.
These are all there too of course, but the cards also give us counseling, direction, and very clear recommendations of what to do to optimize our plans, processes, goals and relationships, and also they can give us cautions about what not to do!
I often get great guidance just sitting down with a question for myself on how best to proceed with a person in my life, a project, a choice, a plan or goal. I will draw individual cards that give me my answer, and a series of cards drawn can give either a sequence of advice themes, a sequence of events, or a deepening progression of guidance, warnings, and suggestions.
~*~
"In what ways should I proceed differently?"
For example, the nature of my relationship with a certain person in my life has been shifting and having some interesting progressions lately. Things are changing, and with shifts and changes, we often begin to feel a little unseated, disoriented, as we find that the steps of the dance are starting to be different, the moves in the chess game are beginning to get more complex.
This morning I drew some advice cards to get some recommendations from the Tarot as to what I personally should best do in order to keep the best possible energy maintained in this relationship, and keep things on a good track instead of one that goes in a detrimental direction for both of us.
I drew the 4 of Swords, an instant message of holding back!! I then drew Temperance, a reinforcement of the need to find balance and the right level.
Lately I know I have been crowding this person, and I had realized, myself, that perhaps I should just ease off! My cards told me exactly that -- the randomly drawn cards gave me a message loud and clear, a confirmation that yes, quit bugging the guy, even with the best of intentions!!
~*~
Just like that, the Tarot can be a source of mysteriously accurate and spot-on counseling and advice. The cards can tell you what to do and how to do it.
"Cherry" of guidance, not the cake
Now, bear in mind however, as with anything or anyone that gives you advice, tells you a course of action you maybe "ought to" take, you still have the free will and the freedom of choice to make your own decision, to reject the advice or follow it, just as you do when you ask a trusted friend, "What do you think?" You can get a definitive answer while not having to necessarily listen or go along with it. But you will have your answer, and with the cards, I almost always find in retrospect that they were right, and the counsel was wise!
Bear in mind also, that it's not wise to base all your decisions on external sources such as a psychic reading -- the real value of a reading is to confirm, reinforce, or reveal, but you must always ultimately make your life choices on a combination of your own wisdom plus the extra guidance a reading or other divination method can give you.
Cards and readings are the cherry of guidance on top of your own cake of inner wisdom and decision-making.
Don't rely on cards or psychic guidance with too imbalanced a ratio of reading-advice-to-self-decision. But do realise that readings can be a great way to get higher reinforcement on what's really going on and what may be your best option to achieve what you want or deal with an issue to the best outcome, not just a set-in-stone outcome.
So, when you get your next Tarot reading, focus not just on questions of the future such as will this or that happen, or what will happen, or even how someone is feeling -- the Tarot can do those, but these remarkable cards can also answer your questions of how to proceed, what may be best to do or not do, and what may be your best course of action and your best mental or emotional mindset to adopt.
The cards can give you straight-shooting advice as well as predictions of the future and information about the hidden present.
They can tell you "Woah girl, stop calling him and let him feel the need to come to you instead!"
They can tell you "Go right ahead with this project, you need to go for it and not hesitate."
They can tell you "Bring more love and less bickering into this situation."
So, don't forget to ask the Tarot for guidance as well as "outcome" -- you get some great advice and some straight-talk!