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Does it seem strange that some people COMPLAIN they don’t have enough TIME to be happy, yet they find enough time to be sad? Not really. You see, their deplorable plight has nothing to do with having sufficient or insufficient time. It has everything to do with complaining. After all, complaining is the negation of happiness. It’s impossible to complain and be happy at the same time.

So, beware of that insidious disease known as ‘negativitis’ (negative thinking). It is as pervasive as the common cold, but far more damaging. It mutilates, cripples, and corrodes the human spirit. Those infected by it are broken men and women aimlessly plodding along. The dark clouds brooding over them obscure their vision and cause them to become confrontational, apathetic, and cynical. Their lives are like flat champagne, without any sizzle. So, how do we inoculate ourselves against such a harmful disease? It was only after learning about the horrible effects of smoking that people began to give it up. It may be wise to do the same here. So, let’s review the effects of negativitis.

1. Complaining is worse than doing nothing, for it is digging the rut one is in deeper and deeper. Each time one complains, it becomes increasingly difficult to climb out of the ditch they’ve created. To loosen the grip of this vicious habit, we need to become aware of our complaining, stop it in its tracks, and immediately look for something positive to say. It’s just a matter of replacing a bad habit with a good one.

2. A negative attitude is self-defeating. We won’t find solutions to life’s problems by looking for someone or something to blame. Those who say, "Positive thinking doesn't work for me," have got it backwards. It’s not positive thinking that has to work; YOU have to work. For example, you have to work at appreciating what you have instead of moaning about what you lack.

3. Failure to do what you want to do (be happy) causes physical and mental stress. A rotten attitude, not only delays success, but also shortens life by damaging the immune system (to learn more on how your thoughts affect your immune system, investigate psychoneuroimmunology). So, besides the diseases directly caused by stress, such as heart disease and ulcers, we become susceptible to all manner of other diseases because of a weakened immune system.

4. Do you know anyone with a negative attitude? How many years have they been that way? Two years? Five years? Ten years? That’s how many years of happiness and success they have robbed themselves of. Blinded by their own negativity, they are prevented from seeing the good around them.

5. One characteristic of negative thinkers is their need to have the world behave according to their wishes. They have never grown up and still live with childish demands. Whenever people and the world fail to act according to their selfish wishes, they are unhappy. Such a poisonous attitude prevents them from growing and learning how to cope with life's challenges.

6. Everything negative we say about ourselves to ourselves (self-talk) and to others is a suggestion. We are unwittingly practicing self-hypnosis, programing ourselves for failure, and creating self-fulfilling prophecies.

7. The negative world of our imagination creates a negative world that is real and one that we are forced to live in. Take Ralph, for example. He’s always complaining about life. “Nowadays people are rude and surly. No matter where you go or what you do, you have to deal with ill-bred people.” As he said this, we made our way to a coffee shop. Once inside, we were greeted by a cheerful chap who asked us what we would like. Sighing (as if it took a great effect to speak), Ralph, almost inaudibly, ordered a medium sized regular coffee. When it arrived, he started complaining. Pointing to the cup, he said, “This is medium?” Without waiting for a response, he added, “You should have told me your cups are so small; I would have ordered a large one if I knew.” Despite the long line that Ralph was holding up, the man behind the counter tried to be patient. Without complaint, he took away the small coffee and replaced it with a large one. As soon as it arrived, Ralph looked at it aghast and bellowed, “You call this regular? There’s not enough cream!” The man behind the counter, who only moments ago was cheerful was now upset and sarcastically replied, “Yes, for MOST people, this is regular, but if you INSIST, I’ll put in more cream. Perhaps next time you may want to ask for DOUBLE cream!” I was next, so I got my coffee and joined Ralph at the table. “See,” he told me, “what did I say to you? People are rude.” Yes, in Ralph’s world, people ARE rude, but what he does not realize is he makes them so.

8. A particularly pernicious effect of ‘negativitis’ is that it sets one up for the mentality of a victim. Those with a woe-is-me attitude sit around in misery, waiting to be rescued. But they wait in vain because no one can rescue them from their own attitude. They are the only ones who can change it. And until they do so, they are condemned to continue suffering.

9. Another adverse effect of negativity is that it sets one up for the magic-bullet-syndrome. That is, the victim of ‘negativitis’ spends their time looking for a quick, easy fix, when none exists. By denying a fundamental law of life that states anything worthwhile requires effort to achieve, they achieve nothing. They won’t make progress until they realize that nothing in life is free. They’ve got to be willing to do what it takes to get what they want.

10. Also, beware of the fact that negative people attract other complainers. Because those who live in a world of doom and gloom alienate others, they have no choice but to look for other negative people to associate with. They then feed off one another and get locked in a clique of losers.

11. The constant stress that flows from a negative attitude also saps one’s energy, focus, and motivation. It is hardly a formula for success.

12. Also of great concern is the fact that those who refuse to work on improving their negative attitude may slide into depression, self-pity, and hopelessness.

13. Additionally, negative people not only harm themselves; they harm the world. They cease to make a contribution to it. Instead of helping, they spread gloom and misery everywhere. If they insist on infecting others, why not infect them with laughter? If they must carry something contagious, why not carry a smile?

Imagine being in a small boat drifting in a river. And imagine being unaware that your boat has a motor. As long as you fail to use that motor you will be a captive of the river. You will be a prisoner without any control over your destination. Yet, the boat that we’re in does have a motor. We can use it to change course. That motor is our power of choice. All we have to do is choose to look for the good, for when we do so, that is all we will find!

Can positive energy change your work or home life? You better believe it! According to the Law of Attraction, we emit positive and negative energy constantly. Other people pick up on our positive energy and gravitate towards us, or sense our negative energy and are repelled by us.

How do you know if you're sharing positive energy? The best – and easiest – sign is the people in your life. Are they encouraging and uplifting, or are they draining away your energy? Who you surround yourself with affects the levels of happiness and satisfaction in your life. If you're not surrounded by positive people, then you may not be transmitting positive energy.

You're emitting positive energy when you:

Stay in touch with your dark side and weaknesses, and are willing to grow towards healing and strength.

Positive energy is about movement.

See the positive qualities in other people.

Positive energy values other positive qualities.

Feel compassion towards yourself and the world (we're all doing the best we can!)

Listen to – and try to understand – other perspectives, regardless of how different.

Positive energy is open minded.

Give the benefit of the doubt.

Positive people don't judge quickly.

Express your true self in thoughts and actions, gently and honestly (and free others to do the same!).

Positive energy is honest. Share your negative thoughts and emotions.

Positive energy admits the negative.

Celebrate the success and happiness of other people.

Positive energy appreciates success. Feel fear and defeat, and keep persevering anyway.

Positive energy doesn't deny negative emotions.

Follow your dreams and desires

You're not emitting positive energy when you:

Ignore your dark side and weaknesses (and then act them out). Negative energy isn't honest.

Focus on other people's mistakes and weaknesses. Negative energy is critical.

Obsess about being perfect; whether it's at work, at home, or with your appearance (or other people's!).

Negative energy strives for perfection.

Try to change other people's perspectives and opinions.

Negative energy wants everyone to be of one mind. Try to please people constantly and ignore your own needs.

Negative energy isn't balanced.

Let other people's moods and energy dictate your own.

Swallow your negative thoughts and emotions.

Resent the successes and joys of others.

Negative energy is jealous.

Allow fear and cynicism to harden your heart and color your perspective.

Negative energy revolves around fear and bitterness.

Ignore your goals, plans, and passions. Negative energy suffocates your dreams.

Maintaining Open Hearts and Open Minds

People with positive energy are determined to do their best, and to see the best in the world around them. People with positive energy don’t focus on "should have" or idealized, perfect expectations that are impossible to live up to. People with positive energy have an open heart and a sense of humor. People with positive energy don't care about being popular or keeping up with the Jones's – and they stay in touch with their hearts and souls. They know what they want to create and manifest in their lives.

Flowing With Failures and Disagreements People with positive energy make mistakes and own up to them. They keep lines of communication open, opting for discussion and connection – and people with positive energy are satisfied with "agreeing to disagree." Failures and disagreements don't faze people with positive energy, because they know they're part of living and working with humans!

Perhaps the best advice you can give someone about having a relationship with a married man is telling her not to even start. However, that may not be practical for all women. As my friend Jenna* told me, "You can't help who you fall in love with. The love of your life just might be a married man."

Being part of any couple can be challenging and unpredictable, as we all know. But when the man with whom you're involved is part of another couple, someone else's husband, then the challenge and unpredictability can make your life a messy, unhappy waiting game that you will rarely win.

The woman who is in love with a married man lives a life that, for the most part, is shrouded in secrecy. Her close circle of friends might know about her affair, but she really cannot let anyone else, such as colleagues or her family, know. She is alone most of the time and spends it waiting: waiting for her married lover to call, to come meet her, to share some precious time together. She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law. Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least.

Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know.

1. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.
His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. Simply because he talks in a negative way about his marriage doesn't mean that his obligations to his wife are any less important to him. Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. He won't risk losing that.

2. His life with you is secret and always will be.
No matter how much you may want to walk in the sunshine with him and have him openly acknowledge his love for you, it won't happen. While he is more than willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you.

3. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him.
This is not an easy statement to comprehend. It's emotionally painful. Unfortunately it is true. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time. Planning to be together becomes a fascinating game and is thrilling to say the least. Stealing hours from work or home to have sex is exciting, and you may mistake his libido-driven passion for undying love. Don't. The game soon becomes a chore for him, and romantic interludes are just one more thing he "has to do."

4. He will not leave his wife.
Less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for the woman with whom they are having an affair. Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman. Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy. And don't ever kid yourself on this important point: He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe.

5. Legally, financially and emotionally, you have no claim.
You may realize that you have no claim legally or financially, but you would think there'd be an emotional attachment or bond between you and your lover. In fact there usually isn't after the affair is over. Here's why. Even though he has a deep feeling of love for you, he is able to process it in an unemotional way. He's not a bad guy, he may be a wonderfully kind person, but he is also a practical one. He knows that holding on to emotions that can only cause problems for his family is something he cannot and will not do. When it's over, he will move on.

To safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made. You need to have a life that works and that is full enough to withstand the pain of the eventual breakup. He has one and you need one, too.

A solid circle of friends and a social life separate from your hidden life with him is a necessity. Let your friends know that you still want to go out with them regularly. Don't always be so ready to cancel plans you have made with others to accommodate him. Casual dating with male friends helps, too. It allows you to see yourself through the eyes of another man who finds you interesting and attractive. It is up to you where it might lead. It helps to remember that the man with whom you are intimately involved in "your other life" is not living as a monk with his wife.

Being involved in an affair with someone else's husband is an almost surefire trip from ecstatic highs at the beginning to a depressing abyss at the end. Understand the basics of exactly what you are getting into, and what your status is.

You need to step back and identify the priorities -- your priorities -- in a relationship with a married man. Think with your head and not with your heart. Ensuring you have a life distinct from his that is your safe haven can make being the other woman, if not a secure, permanent position, at least one that is a bit more tolerable.







What are Your Hidden Passions?

Your Hidden Passion Number describes a quality that you have in abundance—a special ability that serves you in life. You rely on it to help you achieve your destiny. You go to your Hidden Passion Number when you need to find something reliable and well-developed in yourself. As a child, you may have been working to uncover your hidden talents or abilities, and they brought you joy when you used them. As an adult, these personal qualities are like old friends. As long as you balance these tendencies with other power areas in your numerology, you’ll offer the finest expression of this number.

Your Hidden Passion Number is found by taking your complete name at birth and converting the letters to numbers. This table makes the conversion simple:


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
S T U V W X Y Z  

Find the numerical equivalent for each letter, and then determine which number appears most often. Here is an example:

B-A-R-A-C-K  H-U-S-S-E-I-N  O-B-A-M-A
2-1-9-1-3-2      8-3-1-1-5-9-5     6-2-1-4-1

So, we see that President Obama has Six 1s, three 2s, one 3, one 4, two 5s, one 6, no 7s, one 8 and two 9s. So, Obama’s Hidden Passion Number is 1 because it appears the most times in his name. Now calculate your Hidden Passion Number and read what it reveals about you!

Hidden Passion Number 1

Your energetic love of life is your passion. You have a singularity of purpose in any activity you pursue. If you are an athlete, you are heroic and your style is “all or nothing.” You desire independence, yet you are a natural leader due to you strong individuality and incredible focus on the goal or prize at hand. You have power and energy and live life fully and courageously. You are a fierce competitor and are someone who initiates action in a group.

Hidden Passion Number 2

Harmonious relationships are your passion. You are affectionate, kind and always sensitive to the hopes, dreams and feelings of others. At the same time, you are deeply aware of your own need for love and an agreeable, peaceful environment. You are always looking for the balance in a situation or within yourself. In fact, you’re the person others go to when they need advice about relationships. You make a “home” for lovers, family and friends.

Hidden Passion Number 3

Your passion is beauty and you bring fun and style to any situation, relationship or creative effort. You naturally come up with the right words, feelings, designs or personal styles that pleases others. At a party, you are the gracious one who also can provide the entertainment with your positive nature and sense of humor. You have a creative ability that can be directed towards the arts, sales and marketing or fashion.

Hidden Passion Number 4

Your passion is creating structure for everyone around you, whether in your family or at the office. You love it when everything works well and people can come together to achieve success. Others count on you to provide the home life or work environment that they desire. You are great at building things, whether it is physical bridges or bridges between the people around you.

Hidden Passion Number 5

Your passion is passion! Actually, you love adventure and trying new things at any given time. You have a child-like delight in life and others love being in the reflection of your warmth and energy. You are a natural at taking center stage because of your vital, attractive qualities. You are also a natural leader and public performer or speaker. If you can stay focused, nothing can stop you.

Hidden Passion Number 6

Your passion is loving service to humanity. You are capable and gifted and that’s an excellent combination for serving the world in the way you desire. You want to make a difference. You have an ability to work with any personality type through your adaptability. Know when to take care of yourself and recognize when others genuinely appreciate your giving nature.

Hidden Passion Number 7

Your passion is intellectual and spiritual pursuit. You have a fine mind with a deep sense of both the intuitive and instinctual. You are a natural observer with a powerful mind. You can make major contributions with your special, intellectual gifts. You might express yourself as an intuitive, a spiritual leader or teacher. Your mind is a gift.

Hidden Passion Number 8

Your passion is the pure power that comes from balancing your spiritual and physical natures. 8s are known for being successful in business and this number is much desired, particularly in Chinese culture. The fact that 8s often command positions of power actually comes from your natural ability and desire to put spiritual power into form. You love seeing spirit in action.

Hidden Passion Number 9

Your passion is loving inclusiveness and completion. You are a natural educator and philosopher who generously shares what you know with others. You love exploring all cultures, religious studies and the concept of the “oneness” that is humanity. You have an inherent understanding of, and love for the world and its people.



4 Gutsy Changes to Make in 2010

The New Year is the perfect time to take your game to the next level, and recent research has pinpointed some little tweaks that can leave you happier, healthier, sexier, and so in-demand, your cell phone may explode.

It's January, which means that everyone and their mother is thinking of ways to get a jump on the year ahead. Hitting the gym, getting organized, tossing all the clothes you never wear...they're all great goals (if a little, yawn, boring). But why not think bigger? Scientists across the country recently uncovered some truly incredible secrets about what causes our happiness and success levels to skyrocket.

The best thing about these breakthrough strategies is that, unlike hopping on the treadmill at 6 a.m. or weeding through your closet for hours, they're actually fun to put into action. From getting in touch with your inner bitch to wearing lingerie so risqué that Paris Hilton would gasp, these four changes will have a ripple effect on your life that'll be nothing short of awesome.

1. Be Bad More Often

We'll gladly take any advice that gives us the green light to naughty it up in the boudoir or let our bitchy side out of its cage. Luckily, researchers have discovered how good for you being bad is. "Breaking the rules is empowering," says John Portmann, PhD, author of Bad for Us. "It shows you that you have freedom to do what you want and are in charge of your life."

Remember how thrilling it felt in high school to sneak out or throw a party when your parents went out of town? Going against authority reinforces your independence, which leads to greater fulfillment. Don't get us wrong — we're not suggesting you rob a bank or get Marilyn Manson's face tattooed on your back. It's more about trying things that make you slightly uncomfortable. "You need to push out of your comfort zone in order to grow," Portmann says. "Thrusting yourself into new situations will teach you about yourself and what you're capable of."

Plus, you can feel an added rush just from getting a rise out of people. Misbehave as much or as little as you want, but make sure you don't go so far out of bounds that you lose control of the situation or hurt others.

To jump-start your inner badass, speak up about things you might normally keep to yourself. Approach a bigwig at work and share your brilliant idea, call out a rude salesperson, or voice your opinion in a meeting if you disagree with a coworker. "Not only will this increase your self-confidence, but you'll also gain respect from people," Portmann affirms.

Another tactic is to tell a white lie along the lines of flirting with a hottie if you have a BF or calling in sick when you feel like a million bucks. Physically scandalicious deeds qualify too: Dance on a bar, order your guy to spank you, wear an insanely short dress.

Being a rebel pays off big. "Those who risk the most win the most," Portmann says. "Once you conquer your fear of doing things that aren't 'allowed,' you'll think more expansively and see angles that others overlook." Since you'll have fewer boundaries, you'll be open to possibilities, from pursuing an unusual career path to seeing the potential in a guy who's not your type.

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You know your friends influence things like how you dress and your going-out habits. But a series of groundbreaking studies from James Fowler, PhD, and Nicholas Christakis, MD, PhD, coauthors of Connected, discovered that your social circle plays a key role in determining way more than that.

It turns out that factors like health and happiness are contagious. If a friend loses weight, you're likely to slim down as well. If she's in a good place in her life, her newfound cheerfulness will rub off on you. In fact, people within three degrees of us (that includes friends, friends of friends, and friends of friends of friends) have a major influence on how we feel and act. "We subconsciously pick up on cues from those around us about what normal, accepted behavior is," Fowler explains.

So how do you use this info to make your life amazing? First, beef up your network with positive people. "Our research shows that the more connections you have and the stronger those relationships are, the happier you'll be," Fowler says. Join a weekend sports league, go to a swanky cheese tasting, take Italian lessons, throw a party and ask every guest to bring a new person with them — anything that'll bring fun people into your life.

Then make one single tweak to boost your own health and satisfaction. It can be something small, like eating more veggies or dancing like a maniac for five minutes every morning to psych yourself up. "Even just a slight change in your behavior gets fed forward to everyone you know," Fowler says. "I lost 5 pounds and have made an effort to be in a good mood when I come home from work because I know that will impact the well-being of my family and friends."

When you become happier, your friends will become happier. And you're benefiting too, thanks to the bounce-back effect. Their high spirits may reflect back on you, improving your state of mind even more. According to Fowler, each additional cheerful friend you have increases your own satisfaction by 9 percent. It's karma, baby!

3. Unleash Your Alter Ego in the Sack

Recently, relationship experts have been telling us that in response to the stressful economy, people are more likely to keep their relationships mellow and steady — think low-key dates and predictable sex that's more comforting than carnal. But studies have found that routine is chemistry kryptonite; couples who keep it fresh have the highest rates of satisfaction.

In a State University of New York at Stony Brook study, participants who engaged in a novel activity for just seven minutes felt more in love and happier in their relationship than those in a control group did. "When you try something new with your partner, the same area of your brain lights up as when you first fell for the person," says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. "Experimenting lets you recapture that feeling of being new lovers — the giggles, the excitement, the thrill of getting to know each other."

It's time to shake things up, and we suggest starting between the sheets. During sex, act in a way that you normally never would. For example, if you've been having mostly soft, slow intercourse, go animal on your guy: Pounce on him, tease him, dominate him. On the other hand, if you're usually the initiator, be passive for a change, like by having him tie you up.

"You'll probably learn surprising things about your partner's sexual likes and dislikes," Fulbright says. "And even if you're not crazy about a certain technique, the challenge of tackling something different will still give you both a libido-boosting thrill." Either way, you'll end up with a smile on your face...and hopefully, an extrabig orgasm under your belt.

4. Take Time to Think About Zip, Zilch, Nada

When was the last time you set aside an hour to ponder, um, nothing? Daydreaming probably isn't too high on your to-do list, but it should be. According to Jerome L. Singer, PhD, author of Imagery in Psychotherapy, who studies daydreaming, this seemingly mundane activity prepares you for daunting future encounters, enhances creativity, and relaxes you. Very cool.

The most common daydreams have to do with upcoming work, social, or romantic situations, like a job review or a first date. "These serve as test runs for the real event, similar to rehearsing for a play," Singer says. "You can play out how you'd react in various scenarios. As a result, you'll feel more prepared and confident."

Your brain can practice the tactic you'll use to ask for a raise, what you'll say when you approach your crush, or how to finagle sex in a slippery bathtub. So when the actual moment happens, you won't be as flustered as you might otherwise be.

And it's a good way to let off steam too. "Say you're angry at a friend. Imagining yourself having it out with her will calm you down so you'll be able to talk things out in person in a more rational way," Singer says.

Letting your mind roam also gets you thinking outside the box. "Many of the most creative people — great writers, ingenious scientists — engage in a tremendous amount of fantasizing," Singer says. "Einstein came up with the theory of relativity while daydreaming."

Because it's all make-believe, you don't have to worry about screwing up, so you can totally let your mind go — it's like mental recess. And when your brain has free rein, your chances of stumbling upon a brilliant idea are way higher.

The List You Must Start Today

Keli Goff, Huffington Post blogger and author of Party Crashing, explains why you should write down your goals...and begin to accomplish them this second.

There are plenty of things I'll never do — like run a marathon, since I have a policy of running only when being chased. Or swim with sharks, since… well, have you seen Jaws? But there are many experiences I want to have during my time on earth. And they are all on my life list.

A life list reminds you of the things you want to do before you die. These goals can be small, like taking salsa-dancing lessons, or they can be huge, like climbing Mount Everest. The important thing is that you write them down. It's like drafting a contract with yourself, making you far more motivated to go out and make them happen.

As I approached my 30th birthday last year, I not only compiled my list but also decided to dive right in. Or, I should say, dive right out…of an airplane. When I told my friends, they were stunned—I'm not exactly Ms. Risk Taker. That's the point, though: Your list can be anything you want it to be.

As the airplane ascended, I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But once I jumped, I didn't stop smiling the entire way down. I felt like I could accomplish anything.

I still have so many other things on my list — and I know I'll add to it again and again — but beginning the journey has changed my life. So no matter what you want to accomplish, make 2010 the year that you compile your list. And then, as soon as you can, start checking off those amazing life experiences, one by one.






Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.

It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.

There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.


Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our ideal is misplaced.

It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life—to love and be loved.

  • Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.
  • Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will." If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many failure experiences.
  • Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill the relationship.

You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.

  • Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a very tough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing enough self-care.
  • Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you are going to do in love.
  • Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. The loved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be as aware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are they really needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their own depressed reality.
  • Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy. Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self esteem, every relationship blip is interpreted far too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by a partner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve. But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings of inadequacy are the depression speaking.

Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talk back to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence of inadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is something I just didn't know how to do and now I'll learn." When you reframe the situation to something more adequate, you can act again in an effective way and you can find and keep the love that you need.













Hi Eva, thank you for your patience.  I have looked into things for you and I do have a lot to share with you so let’s get started with your questions.  Having said that, I can’t testify as to what other psychics say about your future.  I can only give you the insights that are my own, but will say that I do agree with the other medium who said that you have a higher purpose and calling that you haven’t yet experienced.  It appears that since last year you have a healthier agenda ahead of you and that you are more willing than ever before to start your real life.  What that really means to me is that you are one year into a powerful 15 year cycle that will see you growing leaps and bounds.  In a lot of ways you are playing catch up to how your life is really about.  

Clearly, you are an invested mother who goes beyond your calling by bringing out the best in your children.  You want the best for them and you will not stop until they are in their 30s lol.  In all seriousness though I think being a good mom is important to you and in many ways, just by continuing to be a supportive and loving mother is really your only job.  The rest will sort itself out.  You will have many opportunities to make money this year and it goes without saying that your endeavors that you are pursuing are not dead end.  However, the truth is you will certainly find yourself excelling in something where you know if you put x amount of dollars you receive x amount of dollars.  I see you being involved in some kind of sales position or developing and selling a product of sorts.  

Perhaps it has to do with children, but I do feel it will be of your own making.  I feel you have a lot of creative energy and perhaps when you finally find the thing you will just go with it.  I do not feel that this will start this year, but something to consider this time next year.  I do feel this will be very lucrative and you will in no doubt feel a significant boost in income.  Again, the most important thing here for you to realize is that the amount of money made is directly proportional to the amount of work you put in.  Not sure why that is relevant, but given the fact that you are a mother, I’m sure you’ll appreciate work where you can set a certain amount of time and make an expected amount (more or less).

In regards to your son Avery, it does show that he is spiritually gifted.  He will have a high level of intuition, where you will see that he just knows things.  He will make a great father as a result because he will guide them in ways that are truly genius.  He needs to cultivate this gift sooner rather than later and he needs to learn how to accept them and have confidence in his abilities.  The most important thing you can do is to teach him to be a leader, to make him understand that he is special and that he can help others even if they didn’t ask.  Having said that, it’s not my place to teach you how to parent because it shows again that you know best.  

You will feel very loved and attractive in the next month.  I feel that love will avail itself to you, perhaps it will be more of crush and I do feel that it is associated with your work.  It feels to me like another Dad, but I also feel that it’s very light and very non committed.  It’s like the Universe doesn’t have a serious or heavy relationship agenda for you.  At least not in the first half of the year.  Having said that it was mentioned in the last reading that you need to pay particular attention to July and August because whoever that you are interested at that time will have longer implications than you expected.  You are definitely laying foundations in both work and love that will see growth spurts in 2016, but like I said, a year from now you will feel whole in your life.  At least compared to where you are now.  That means you will have a very loving relationship coming to you.  Long term relationships don’t just manifest in 3 weeks.  They take time to develop and clearly rationalizing feelings is a whole battle in and of itself.

I have left names not said right now because I do feel that you will have choices to be made.  Old love vs. New love can only really be contemplated when the new love exists so…

Try to live in the moment.  Look at  your life as a movie and fill it with characters and scenarios that you see yourself living.  I know you are more practical than anything else, but sometimes expanding your mind and being open to the blessings of the Universe will draw  your destined path closer to you.  Something opened up for you.  My guides are asking you to be nimble because you will be bombarded with a few great and not so great ideas about your love life.  You’ll be surprised at the associations that you’ll be making in the next two months, with the potential for things to get serious in July and August.  Clearly you need to evaluate your feelings and you’ll be fine.  I’ve intentionally left out some details because at this point it’s too early to tell what you will do, to be honest.  Check in with me at the end of March or April and see if anything has changed.  I think they will :)

Kent Coffee

Hi Tracy, thank you for your patience.  I have looked into this for you a few times and I do have a lot to share.  The first thing that comes up is that you are underestimating Daniel’s feelings about you.  It shows that he does love you and that he is planning a few excursions (mini trips) that shows will draw the two of you closer together.  It shows that he expects a lot of his partners and this is no different in this instance.  He expects you to be extremely loyal and dedicated.  Although he enjoys sex, he needs more than just physical stimulation to feel whole in a relationship.  

It shows that he is popular, people are drawn to his charisma and straightforwardness with people, but it also shows that he has an edgy side to him that likes to take risks which oddly enough other’s will gravitate towards as well.  It shows that he can sometimes be quick to anger and this may cause issues between the two of you, but other than that, it shows that he is willing to commit to you and remain loyal and loving.  Try not to get too discouraged if things are not unfolding in the ways that you would like currently.  

There is a time and place for everything and it shows that since november of last year he has been working very hard to establish himself at work.  However, he is definitely not all work and no play and will literally give you the attention that you crave.  It’s just that he knows he has to make more money and as a result his love life has suffered a bit recently.

It shows that he may not be the wisest at spending his money.  I do feel that he likes to takes risks.  He is drawn to high risk situations or may even find himself in them with out really knowing why.  If he gambles, he needs to watch out because he could get overboard.  If he doesn’t gamble that’s a blessing because he definitely has that energy.  I feel you like him because he is bold, he’s never boring and is full of energy.  

He does have his nervousness and anxious bouts, but overall he just enjoys the company of people and wants to explore the world through travel.  Having said that, it shows that he is planning a trip to take you that will bring the two of you closer together.  I feel that there are two distinct weekends and thus two different locations.  In terms of when, pay attention to June 17th give or take a few dates as you will notice a drastic difference between what’s taking place and what will happen at that moment of time.  

It shows that you can sometimes be private sometimes and it’s not always easy for you to open up your feelings.  Having said that, if you haven’t already, you will be able to tell him  your deepest darkest secrets without him judging you.  There seems to be a new closeness that you will feel with in the next 6 weeks that hopefully you are appreciative of and perhaps you will feel comfortable yourself opening up to him.  He definitely gets that you have a sense of humor, but try to open up a little more because I do think that you’ll be pleasantly surprised.  

Having said that, it’s not very easy for you to develop feelings for any man like you have with him, so by giving your heart to him, you are in alignment with your destined path because it shows that you are meant to be with this man.  Part of what you think are the difficulites you have with this man will simply be alleviated and reconciled by a later time.  It shows that you want to get through the month of March.  That’s not to say that there won’t be any communication or anything like that, it’s just that in April, May, and June are going to be the best months of the year to make a real connection with this man.  

It shows that during this window it shows that the plans that he is planning now will be implemented, and it goes without saying that he steps it up a notch in terms of being mindful of your feelings, spending more time and making more time with you, as well as a willingness to take the risks necessary to be with you.  I am very excited for you in regards to this time period because I do think that it will make all of the difference.  You necessarily will need real tangible experiences in order to continue to have these deep and profound feelings and it DOES show that the Universe will cooperate.  Please keep me updated as the year unfolds.


Kent Coffee

Don't give up


Hey it's me. I just wanted to write you and send you these minutes as a thank you for being such a loyal client.  Your patience in all of this is paying off.  It's like right before you just about had it, you get a silver lining that changes things.  Don't underestimate how swiftly and dramatically things can change between the two of you.  You have put in so much emotional investment in all of this, and again, I repeat, it's paying off. I'm looking forward to your next call because I think it will answer the questions that you have currently, but more importantly you will see that it did matter that you spent the time to speak with me.  I'm confident in what I have told you so far and I'm even more confident that you will have total unapologetic happiness in the future.  



Don't Give Up,


Kent Coffee 




ARIES: March 21 – April 20
You're all over this; whatever's going on, you've got it covered. And I don't care how nuts things look. Even if the castle appears to be crumbling, this process holds the seeds of renewal. Too much of what the past has turned you into is being over turned, for you to be able to be as clear as you would like to be about any of it. Certainty? Forget it. There is no such thing. But you've got other things going for you. The center point of your reality is the heart of confidence. Use that gift, dispense it to others, and remain true to the thought that everything comes from within.

TAURUS: April 21 – May 20
Getting back in the saddle has it's up and down aspects. You aren't sure where this will go but you have too much at stake to let your uncertainty mistake itself for doubt. There is very little that will keep you from reinventing your life if you are clear enough about why you want this to be there for it. The ego has a way of making itself the centerpiece in every decision. This time, you'll do better to get centered in the part of you that really wants this. Because if all of you isn't there for it, you will lose whatever it is that makes the things we do a reflection of who we are.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20
When it comes to making one thing look like another, you play 'switcheroo' all the time. It's hard to say if you're aware of how much you waffle back and forth, but others are more than clear about it. Depending on where your truer motivations lie this tendency will either make it easier for you to glide through this sea of confusion, or keep you pretending that you're mouth and your money occupy the same space. Getting too far ahead of yourself, and not stopping long enough to know where you are is your biggest pitfall. Keep it simple; you are too close to the edge.

CANCER: June 21 – July 20
Walking the fine line is getting more interesting every day. You can't decide how to slice a situation that sees you going back and forth between the thought of being needed and the idea that maybe it's time to deal with the things that You need. Others are OK with whatever you want to do. The 'should I stay or should I go routine?' will keep you on your toes until you make up your mind to split, or find a way to bring the best parts of yourself to a situation that has too much Karma for you to leave it behind. In less than a few months your decision will make itself. 

LEO: July 21 – August 20
So much rides on your ability to keep it together, you're wondering if you can handle this. As much as you have strength for some things, too much testing and/or circumstantial confusion has you wondering why it's you that has to do this. We never know where the truth will take us. No matter how this looks or where you stand with it, your attitude is the only thing you can control. The way to make the most of your current situation lies in your ability to reinvent your coping mechanisms with the understanding that these burdens hold the key to your enlightenment.

VIRGO: August 21 – September 20
You haven't got a clue. Knowing what to do next has been the burning question of the day; so much so that you are too wound up about it. It's too bad you've lost sight of the fact that things aren't subject to your will - and if we knew what we were doing, there's no way we'd need to drive ourselves nuts wondering if it's the right thing. Half of what needs to happen now revolves around the need for you to get back to a place that is inwardly and outwardly in synch with something other than the anxiousness that makes you wonder why you aren't on top of all this.

LIBRA: September 21 – October 20
You are beginning to see that it never works to get too wound up about things. People and situations change at an hourly rate. From where you sit now recent hassles have receded to a place that allows room for things that are much more healing and constructive to enter. Something in you has been restored to the faith that everything really is going to be all right. In the meantime, your work is about to involve major adjustments, that will feel cataclysmic or easy depending on your ability to see how much of what you're doing is still working for you or not.

SCORPIO: October 21 – November 20
The way things are looking this is about playing your cards right. You, of all people, know how to keep them close to your chest. It will behoove you do so in situations where others have already made it evident that they can't be trusted. As much as the bigger part of you wants to reach out and get down to the heart of the matter, going there will require a 2-way stretch. And whoever's on the other end of this line has yet to prove their worth. Wait and see. Let their willingness to come to you be the sign that there is more to this than meets the eye.

SAGITTARIUS: November 21 – December 20
Don't be too concerned about anything but your ability to come to terms with the truth. You get caught between your intuition and your common sense and it makes it real hard for you to meet in the middle. Too much weighs upon the choices you're making for you to be anything but honest about what's motivating you to do all of this. Scrolling back to a place that knows what matters most is way more important than being a slave to custom or, the expectations of those who have yet to figure out that it's what money can't buy that w want more than anything.

CAPRICORN: December 21 - January 20
Plowing through the wreckage generated by a few errors in judgment you are free and clear. What has been so tough to get around has opened the pathway to a deeper sense of where to go from here. Instead of being pissed, you are grateful for the lesson and humbled in the realization that you still have a lot to learn. Relative to others: the lines of communication are always better served when you at least, Pretend to respect their authority as much as you do your own. In your current situation the willingness to listen will teach you more about whatever you need to know.

AQUARIUS: January 21 – February 20
You haven't had a chance to collect your thoughts in a long time. What's really going on may be lost in a swirl of activity that has made it hard to do much but keep the treadmill running. Situations that involve friends and/or relations have been smoothed over just enough to get in touch with the fact that you're OK with whatever they decide to do. That may or may not be true. In the next few weeks the need to let love inspire everything you do will guide you to a place that allows those closest to you to come to terms with themselves, and how they feel about you..

PISCES: February 21 – March 20
What gets to be too much will eventually teach you about the need for discernment. You go so far out of your way, it might help you to remember to haul back, now and then. The influx of new experiences, coupled with things that keep elements from the past nipping at your heels, makes it real hard to keep it all balanced. For one reason or another, people are all over you - and your Inner Child is going nuts wondering who to trust. If I were you, I'd ask for references, and start polishing up my X-Ray vision, well enough to be able to see who's real, and who isn't.








Hi Leona,

If you feel Peter is a bit insensitive and doesn’t really care about your feelings, it’s not entirely true.  It shows that he has a difficult time understanding you.  What I mean by that is that he is kind of oblivious as to what exactly you need this relationship to work.  It was a good idea to kind of draw it out of him by telling him that you were unhappy.  Unlike myself he unable to read your mind and now that he is on notice that you might not be into him, he will definitely shape up for the better.  Having said that, for him sex is going to be most important.  Now you may say that sex is the most important thing for any man, but with his sexual drive it’s really important for him to have a parter that shares the same enthusiasm as he does for carnal knowledge.  However, it doesn’t show that this man is just using you for sex.  Quite the contrary because it shows that in the little time that you’ve been seeing each other, he has already developed quite strong feelings for you.  

It appears that the both of you may have your power struggles from time to time, but I do think it’s worth exploring.  It shows that the two of you are kind of opposites though and the best thing you could have done was reject him first.  As I told you in my last reading, he does NOT like to lose especially in love and I will say that he HATES getting rejected.  Honestly, you were just going by what you were feeling, but if that inadvertently lit a fire inside him then it was worth speaking your peace.  If you are wanting someone to express their feelings and talk about how much he adores you, you may need to look elsewhere though.  He will genuinely put an effort to make you feel safe and secure, but telling you his deepest and darkest feelings he will have to fully trust this and to fully trust this, the two of you will have had to be dating for at least 6 months.  I will admit you can probably do better in regards to another man listening to you and paying you the attention you deserve, but you will probably have more fun with him.  

I obviously can’t make the decision for you, but I don’t think you should throw in the towel quite yet.  Having said that you’ve asked about Dan previously and it does show that he clearly is extremely attracted.  Yes, it’s the way you carry yourself and the way you look, but it’s also your enthusiasm when you are around him.  He can literally feel your energy and you seem to always put him in a good mood when you see each other.  There is clearly a connection and I do think that it would be a shame for the two of you to share these feelings for each other without saying anything.  It shows that you will have a better chance to make a connection with him in April.  It’s kind of been anticipated to be honest.  I feel that he makes a lot of assumptions; like he thinks that you are with somebody (how could she not be with someone is what he says to himself) and so he maybe doing some talking himself out of asking you out.  It’s going to be up to you whether or not you should ask Dan out to that concert.  My sense on this is that you may feel differently for Peter at the time of the concert, but if I’m wrong then you should totally ask Dan out.  I wish the concert was a month later because it shows that he will be way more open about making a connection with you.  He too gets lonely and it’s not like the two of you wouldn’t have a blast…you would!  

At the end of the day, you have potential with both of these men and I wouldn’t make any drastic decisions right now.  You and Peter are supposed to connect in a fairly dramatic way this month.  The two of you were supposed to have passionate and wild crazy sex and genuinely feel good about your prospects together.  If that hasn’t happened yet, there is still 20 days or so left in February.  Having said that, it does show that he will be really considerate on Valentines Day.  It shows that he is planning something or plans on planning something really amazing.  At least you won’t be alone on Valentine’s Day.  I hope he really does something special for you.  It doesn’t happen to be extravagant, but something tells me that he is planning a go big or go home sort of day for the two of you.  Barring any sort of fights this will happen.  

Again, it’s up to you whether or not to continue things with Peter.  In the event that you stick with it I do feel you will not be bored with this man.  I know you had some initial reservations about his looks and what not, but he really does want a relationship with you.  It’s not that he’s just going to have sex with you and then do nothing else.  You would never let that happen to you because you are too witty and see right through everything.  It shows that he is looking for a relationship.  He’s been hurt before in the past…particularly from a blond woman who really did a number on his heart.  Maybe he’s afraid of telling you about her because he doesn’t want to show you how vulnerable he really is.  Having said that, it’s not like you are not going to press his buttons as the two of you continue.  What I mean by that is that you are going to make him work for your love.  I can see that.  I see that you will test him in many ways his loyalty and devotion to you.  In many ways him succumbing or yielding to you gives you much satisfaction.  At the end of the day, it’s up to you where you want to take this, if you decide to split I do think that You and Dan have clearly something going on between the two of you that neither one of you is able to put your finger on.  No matter what, I would give at least the rest of the month totally devoted to Peter and if you are not vining on him then just ask Dan out to the show.

Hi Diane, there’s a lot to go over so I’lll just start with the reading.  When I focus on Matt, it shows that he does love you very much.  Sometimes he feels like he’s sacrificing too much in order to be in this relationship, but as steady as she goes, he will continue to go about this with a certain level of openness, but most likely to be all honest with you he will find it much easier on him when he just listens to what you say.  I’m not sure if it’s clear who wears the pants in the relationship now, but in the future it will be clearly him being the one that listens to you.  Try not to abuse it because the only real negative thing that I’m seeing is that you come across as selfish to him sometimes.  It’s not so much that you are selfish as it is that you are really just self involved.  You care about yourself enough to make sure you are doing it right.  

Having said that, it’s funny that you have mentioned marriage because it shows that he has been on his mind lately.  He clearly wants a future with you and he also clearly knows that he is genuinely happy with you, it just shows that he is planning and waiting for the right moment to ask you.  Could it be the holidays or on new years eve?  Do you think he’s that romantic?  He could surprise you.  In regards to the his ex wife, you are nothing like her and it shows that you are more sensitive person, it’s like he really thinks that she has no pulse, like she’s not a human being.  In other words, you don’t need to worry about his ex wife at all.  If anything he will be the one that takes care of it because he won’t want to hear about it from you. You don’t realize how much support you gave to him by including him in with your kids.  My sense on this is that he really is good at listening to you, providing an ear and a genuine desire to understand you, especially when you are all crazy.  

He’s a good man, I can tell that he really cares for you, not only in his plans to marry you, but because of the way that he wants your life to be.  The two of you are both very driven and very much appreciate money and what it can bring.  He definitely will be working you as though the two of you are working as a team…us against the world and the two of you won’t stop until you are secure in your finances and are able to splurge whenever you want.  This is will be a commonality throughout your marriage that you can literally lean on to keep you though the rough times.  What I mean is, that the two of you care about your financial well being that the two of you won’t stop until you get there.  The great thing about it is, that it shows that the two of you will flourish financially and romantically in love.  He’s pretty confident in himself and he knows that being with you makes him a better man and he certainly is up for the challenge.

Having said that, you need to continue to honor your deepest feelings. You need to be aware that he can be sensitive to the fact that sometimes he feels like this relationship is all about you  You may say, but it’s not, like you do so many nice things for him, just remember that he has a lot of support to give as well and if you take that for granted, he will start to fall astray.  In terms of him being happy, he hasn’t felt this way about anyone in his life.  Clearly, I’m unable to articulate the love that he has for you, but it shows that he is happy with you and I think he’s smart enough to know that he has to lock you down.  I don’t mean that in a bad way, it just means that he is NOT going to take his sweet time and if his planning is as thorough as he is, it shows that there will be engagement before the year is up.  In the event that I’m wrong about the exact timing, I won’t be wrong in the actual prediction that the two of you are meant to be together, married, and growing old together.

His family knows that his ex put him through a lot.  Clearly they are happy that he is back on track and glad that he was able to forward with his life.  They know that she was not good for him, and they know about the way that he talks to them about you.  His family will accept you completely when he decides to propose to you.  It’s just the way it goes sometimes.  I do think you are underestimating the way that he feels about you.  Keep going, it shows that there’s too much of an emotional investment to stop.  The two of you really want the same things, love, security, and companionship.  Neither one of you is perfect, but together you make one heck of a power duo.  During the next three weeks because mercury is in retrograde take the opportunity to express yourself without worrying too much about if it’s going to hurt his feelings.  After the Retrograde which is in 3 weeks, you’l see a noticeable difference in your energy.  Things will definitely pick up and the holiday being the most rewarding time of the year.  

ARIES. (March 19 - April 18): Your can-do spirit makes all the difference - especially when you're surrounded by people who are little too fond of their pessimistic outlooks. TAURUS. (April 19 - May 19): You thought people would be happy for you, but all you hear about are the things they want from you instead. Welcome to life in the winner's circle. GEMINI. (May 20 - June 19): It begins with a compliment from a persnickety colleague and then continues with praise from critics. It's unexpected, but appreciated nonetheless. CANCER. (June 20 - July 21): This is a good time to partner. Not only do you like what you see, but this person has big shoulders to lean on. LEO. (July 22 - Aug. 21): You thought you could relax when you cleared a certain income bracket, but now you're busier than before. Guess what? It costs more to make more. VIRGO. (Aug. 22 - Sept. 21): This is when you find out who your real friends are. Don't be surprised if it's the ones you thought you outgrew who stand by you now. LIBRA. (Sept. 22 - Oct. 21): Avoiding a confrontation makes matters worse. Set up a time to talk and you'll see find that this person is a lot more agreeable than you thought. SCORPIO. (Oct. 22 - Nov. 20): It's awkward doing business when you're needed at home, but life goes on. Besides mundane matters are the perfect things to focus on when you're going through stressful times. SAGITTARIUS. (Nov. 21 - Dec. 20): Your hackles go up when anyone dictates terms to you, but don't worry. You'll soon get a chance to return the favor. CAPRICORN. (Dec. 21 - Jan. 19): You've invested a lot of time in a business relationship. Thankfully things turn around soon and you'll start reaping the dividends. AQUARIUS. (Jan. 20 - Feb. 17): You're democratic – up to a point. The more you debate with your kid or co-worker, the more you realize you'll need to use an iron hand. PISCES. (Feb. 18 - March 18): Instead of pointing out a problem, show how resourceful you can be by coming up with a solution.


1.  Realize your potential

Do you think Ernest Hemingway set out to be one the greatest writers of all time?  He was following his passion and with that came huge success.  What you think you become.

2.  Locate our thoughts

During meditation and exercise we can quiet the mental chatter and access a new part of our brains.  When you begin to experience stillness you can start to throw away the logic of the conscious mind and tap into the super conscious mind – responsible for unlimited creativity.Don’t underestimate the power of meditation and exercise.  Both will send feel good endorphins to your brain and release pent up stress and anxiety which is clouding your true potential.

3.  Throw away preconditioned notions of you

What is it that you have always told yourself, are you lacking in creativity or originality?  Stop these thoughts, your mind is telling you things that aren’t true.  Remember impermanence?  Every moment is like a refresh, you are a blank canvas.  Choose what you want to fill your canvas with.Tapin and experience your truest form, you are a rich, alive and buzzing and nothing will change that.

4.  Decide where to channel your energies

Decide on an imaginative path, or decide on a few.  If you want to be a great painter, visualize yourself as Picasso, walk through your day pretending you are him.  What you think you become, if you imagine success you will create a path for success to find you.

5.  Research and ask questions

Always be inquisitive and most importantly listen to others without trying to form a reply.  You have so much to learn from your fellow peers.  Carry a Notebook and write ideas down; you might be surprised where inspiration finds you.

6.  Observe

Have you noticed what’s going on around you or are you still stuck in your racing mind?  Pay attention to what other successful people are doing.  Talk less and listen more.

7.  Practice mindfulness

“Mindfulness means maintaining a moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment.”

With this practice come vivid colours and heightened senses; use this new way of looking at the world to tap into your creative juices.  Venture out into nature and feel the aliveness of the forest.

8.  Take time to explore your passions

Music is one of mine; with my favourite song playing I visualize stepping out at dawn to snap a picture of the mysterious fog hovering over a still lake.  Read poetry, have fun with crafts or go to an art gallery, whatever gets you inspired; take a double dose.

9.  Understand that hesitation and doubts are normal, don’t be too hard on yourself

When the mind does take over and tells you you’re not good enough, and it will, let these thoughts go like clouds in the sky; acknowledge them and watch them pass by.  Thoughts will always arise the key is not reacting to them.

10.  Always take time for yourself.

Don’t become so consumed with finding imagination that you have forgotten how to take time to just be.  Life needs to be a balance of all things.

Make a commitment right now to find your imagination – to be the most magnificent version of you. Every human has limitless potential, you just need to tear away the layers of doubt the mind has tightly wrapped.  Realize every second you are a brand new person and can make brand new changes.  Right now, now, now now!  Go ahead, do something amazing.

Are you tired of dating and thinking of using a love spell? I know someone who did this. He did a thorough research and is used to doing spell work. However, he was intensely educated on the topic by the results of his work. He did a spell listing of seven qualities he wanted in his next girlfriend. He got them BUT they came in seven different women! So now what? He decided to let nature take its course after that.

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So the most obvious question is, “What went wrong?” He was not specific, yet even if he was, and dotted every “i” and crossed every “t,” would there have been some sort of flaw? My opinion is yes! Love and relationships are tools that affect us more deeply than any other. Those two aspects of life are the very foundation of experience and our existence here. So, of course, the greatest tool for our enlightenment lies in them.

When we look through the eyes of a psychic, we’re looking to see the future, to understand what is coming, or what is happening in the now. That seeking of clarity is an attempt to understand “God’s Will” or the nature of the universe as it stands. We are seeking wisdom and guidance. We use this information to affect control over our own life, to exercise our own free will.


We get into trouble when we try to take over the controls for other people! I really don’t believe that any type of “spell” works as we desire it to when we attempt to take over another’s free will. The very concept of “stealing” that person’s choice goes against natural laws or lessons we see in almost all of the religions or belief systems that exist. There is a big difference between religion and spirituality, yet in both it’s clear that to force your will on another is wrong. That is why I believe that no love spell could ever be specific enough to get you clearly and exactly what you want.

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Let’s compare a love spell to the tale of the “Monkey’s Paw.” The bereaved mother wishes for her dead son to come back to life. When he does, he is not her son. He is a dead thing without a soul. If you get love or sex without that person’s total and willful permission, will it satisfy? No.

Where would you be on your path to enlightenment if you were to accept the situation and move on, rather than proving that love stolen, not given, is empty? As many children will attest, getting what you want whenever you want it does not insure happiness. Acceptance that only mutual love is rewarding will save you years of pain and suffering, and this will bring you more quickly to mutual, natural love and relationship!

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